TFS Convos; Who do women say I am…?

Hey guys,

My Happy Place and Space is when I write. I am soooo thankful for this gift. It legit makes me happy, even if i write into the night. Like deliriously HAPPY!!!

Here’s praying we all find AND EXPRESS our Gifts in such a way that it makes us reeeeeeeeaaaaallllly HAPPY!!!

AMEN!!!

That said, hope everyone’s week is up to a good start?

Amen, again!!!

This Post is actually funny but I believe we will grab some good lessons by the time I sign out.

So last week, I noticed that EVERYONE who had cause to ring me would actually ALMOST be shaking as they spoke. I thought that was too strange. Jesus knows how many times I had to say ‘Relax babes, I do NOT bite…’

Anyways, that pushed me to ask my Sisters in TFS Academy possibly why, and then what my online personality is like and who I remind them of. Their answers made me laugh.

And then think!!!

Answers below… UNEDITED please (#NoTime)

My thoughts in-line and in bold italicised letters…

Abby: Lol, sorry I have to first lol it out. You have a personality that can be intimidating for someone who isn’t whole for himself or let me say someone who is still trying to figure themselves out

Majority of us still have that thing we are struggling with so when we now see someone who is setting the bar and standards so high and doing it effortlessly at least from what we see, we seem to want to cower back into our shells haha

I know how many times I have dialled your number and just stop midway ?

Honestly for me oh, it has nothing to do with you, it’s just us

We feel we are not enough

Oh dear, phew………If I had a dollar for every ‘intimidating’ I got. And then, I want to ask, ‘not enough what?’

Bimbo: I usually think that, will this woman accommodate all my stories. I feel you have a high standard so I’m always over careful of saying things so as not to soil the relationship. And for me I do that to people in authority. It’s just me really

Abby: How can I go and talk with mama E. I’m I even sure she will get me? Mama E has passed this level oh or mama E will not understand sef

Let me just continue praying ?

This line got me rolling… Let me just continue praying ke? Hahaha

That’s my own reasons sha. Speaking for myself alone oh. Just this morning I wanted to call u oh, but I pushed it into later in the day ?

Bimbo:The truth is mama, I’ve had to ask Dee and Teni to teach me how to be free with you. I’m just always over careful. Especially on a personal level. I don’t know how to explain really ?

I have known Bimbo for at least 4years. Plus we were even in the same Campus fellowship yet…

Evelyn: Ermmm, from the Lil I know you set a no nonsense kind of attitude like you don’t have patience for time wasters

So it makes some people uneasy to call you because they don’t know what they would say that would annoy you and you know u keep saying people should not call you on your personal number,so whenever someone would love to call they would make sure that the reason for calling must be good enough

I also think you are a very jovial and nice person but u don’t want people to over take advantage of that so u try to set ground rules

I agree with my Darling Evelyn to some extent. I have a biz line and then a personal line, I don’t want biz or ministry calls crossing that line, even if you have the number. I am super jovial and frankly, I think people already take advantage of it, I am actually still trying to balance my own emotions.

Tolu: I just feel like you won’t take nonsense

As in no slacking, but I feel that it should get easier with time

Winnie: You come across as a ‘no nonsense person’ and a ‘don’t waste my time person’. But you’re just a principled person, and it can be intimidating for some people. You’re strict but you are not wicked.

To which I answered something like this… ‘Winnie that’s just what we say to WICKED seniors in boarding school back then because we don’t wanna out rightly tell them they are devils…’ looool. No girl, please not the ‘strict but not wicked’ line *real tears*

Teni: You have a strong personality mama, and personally it intimidates me. And it makes me super careful, not to mess up and ruin our mentor-mentee relationship

Angela: For me I think you’re extremely honest, you’re just like an open book but still you don’t tolerate nonsense. I like the principles you’ve laid out. It might come off as proud to some people but I like it. I’ve tried to call you severally just to say hello and some other stuffs because sometimes you need someone who will just listen, but I  always stop cos I don’t want to be stepping over boundaries.

This kinda surprised me because Angela and I are ‘Bonny island friends’. She has visited with me before and she has even helped me once on a flight with my baby. Yet she won’t call me to say HI lol. You are right on principles sha. haha

Ebere:Ehmmmm….E you portray a mean, no–nonsense, disciplined personality. And because you talk out about yourself a lot on social media, anyone that follows you would just want to be careful based on the stuff you write. Again, you talk of your besties, squad, 3great men etc. a lot, that people might feel “if I no dey this inner circle, I should respect myself biko, because it’s only these people that can access her anyhow”. I can’t really say if it’s you or us/them, but this is what I think is part of the issue

3 great men got me ROLLING!!!! Ebere is just a fish!!! Chick is my secondary school friend ooo and I feel like we even have a Sister relationship. Hahahahaha I can’t!!! But I love this Chick sha 

Onyinye: For me it’s really a case of you portray yourself as a no nonsense person who has value for time. Your online personality doesn’t appear approachable like if I didn’t know you I totally might be a bit jittery if I tried to call you for the first time

I think that really explains why people relate to you like I don’t know what I could say that could get her pissed off, it’s not really fear, it’s being careful

Oh dear!!! My online personality NOT approachable??? Wow!!! Me??? The super friendly E’ *bawls*

Dee: For me personally, I put value on people’s time o, especially momma. I don’t call unless it’s important, I don’t ask if I can get the answers on the blog, I don’t holler if it’s not necessary, I consult my brain from time to time when I want to talk to you, I don’t ask stupid questions, I engage my intuition well well; personally it’s cos in a way I see a lot of me in you momma a whole lot and then I’m very careful not to pass my boundary I’m like this woman is NOT my friend, we can relate as friends but she is NOT my friend oo

Online personality, momma you are open o, as in open and very friendly but a perceptive person will know this woman has firm principles and even if anything she’s saying comes across as ‘pride’ or ‘one kin’ she’s prepared

Dee is the Chick who is most like me, so I wasn’t surprised at her answer. She has studied and continues to study me. She is the one crazy human who can random send me a text message/question/one-liner at 2am. She is the Chick who can tell you literally ANYTHING lol. I think she is me, and then some more drama (praying for your future hubs)

Ok so I further asked a question…

E’: But just to be clear u guys, is there anybody I remind u of? So I can truly get what u guys mean? Nigerian or otherwise

Dee: Chimamanda

I see a lot of you in her o

It’s just that you are the extroverted version

Somebody cannot just pick the phone on a sunny Tuesday afternoon and be calling Chimamanda to say hi

Sunny Tuesday Afternoon? I fainted!!! hahahahahahaha

Someone like Chimamanda now, that woman doesn’t engage in small talk, it’s obvious, she doesn’t do recreational chatting; the hi, I just wanted to holler kinda chatting, there must be a purpose for the chat. I think it’s the value she exudes without even trying… it’s the estimation of her importance that just makes people get their acts right when they are with her

A purpose for the chat?? Oh Dee hahahahahaha. But I love the last line… It is the estimation of her importance that just makes people get their acts right when they are with her.

And since we are on Adichie, I totally agree!!! We differ on some principles but every time I listen to her, I literally complete her answers in interviews. I LOVE watching her. When I start, I just let YouTube indulge my binge, video to video on auto-play. Adichie also reminds me of my ‘best-friend-who-says-we-are-not-besties-because-every time-we-cozy-into-that-term-BEST-FRIEND-we-FIGHT-bigtime-so-let’s-just-say-FRIENDS’ hahaha. But this friend of mine is the ONE Chick amongst my ‘3 great men’ looool who is most like me IN ALMOST EVERYTHING, so I agree. But in laughter though, my friend and Adichie are twins. I laugh like a good witch. They laugh like they are being toasted and are shy… Lol 

That’s the way you are momma

There’s this unspoken hold your brain when you are coming to talk that you exude

Hold your brain??? Choi!!!

Winnie: Gabrielle Union lol

Winnie was ready to finish me that day. It is like when we were in UI (she as an A-levels student while I was in my final year), I did her bad. Everyone knows Gabrielle is a wicked witch from the West. All I remember is DELIVER US FROM EVA. Kai!!!

Tolu: Me thinks you remind me of Bishop Oyedepo

Like he is a purpose driven no nonsense person

Bimbo:Bishop is one principled and disciplined being. Same with mama

But you know that he has a good sense of humour

Kai!!! I need to be nicer. I personally think Bishop is TOUGH on another level… I don’t wanna appear that TOUGH please.

Abby:Lol, honestly I can’t think of anyone right now

U are in a class of ur own nne

Teni:Mama reminds me of DDK, they both have this no nonsense personality. Confident women, sure of who they are in Christ. That’s who mama reminds me of, DDK

Yawl know I am keeping this right? Love DDK with a passion!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE her and for good measure, lemme throw in a screen shot of a convo we had today…

Err, NOPE!!! Lol. Will share with my Academy Sisters instead…

Dee:Yea teni;You know DDK has this kinda depth and humour too nd she’s so intelligent Jehovah!!! (Ok lemme share)

Bukky:You are just a no nonsense person and that can be intimidating depending on who you are dealing with. When I first stumbled on your blog, I was like, oh wow; I like the energy, the fire. That’s just it. Anyone that must be around you must either catch the fire or stay intimidated for life. Lol

Confession time o. I was at the first edition of when women worship, cos I saw it on your blog but I just couldn’t bring myself to say hi. I stared and stared and even gisted my friend that came with me but I was just faraway. Lol.

Adunbilivit!!!

You remind me of DDK too

Both of you are very comfortable with things people are usually uncomfortable with.

And when I watch Chris preach, I’m like this is Eziaha o

!!!!!!!!!THIS!!!!!!!!!! 

Christine Caine is my ‘rose modem’ when it comes to preaching. Lisa Bevere too. Those women allow their ‘uncommon’ personality shine through their sermons, making the most jokes of themselves. Who else would gist you how she wasn’t wearing underwear and had a fall and did ‘free show’? Who else will tell you she was trying out for the sexual gymnastics in uni because she was a really good heathen…? Nobody but Christine Caine and Lisa Bevere!!! 

When you started your weight loss program, I’m like, yay, I’m in o. Then I saw the rules and regulations I just gentle. And then you were like if you don’t do this, I’m taking you out. I said, lemme nuh embarrass myself. See what I said earlier, catch the fire or fall out. I don’t know if I’d say it’s you or not. It’s just who you are. The unique blend of sanguine and choleric in you gives you this very fascinating, sweet and strong personality.

You can tell this Chick has done some study. I am a crazy blend of Choleric and Sanguine and THAT my people, is where almost all the PROBLEMS we are dealing with lie!!!

Anuli: Lol! Omo not meeee!!! Call mama E’?? I normally feel you won’t understand all ma drama seeing you have such hold on your life and activities around you.

It is a lie!!! I don’t!!! All of us are working out our life and salvation daily…

Victoria: Mama you are amazing, I see myself in you. I don’t think you are strict, I think you are just principled of which most great people are. And like Dee I may not want to be overly friendly with you so I don’t miss out on the blessing of your association does not mean that when I need your help I won’t tell you. I sure will.

She was LAST to speak and i thought her answer was the perfect close out!!!

You remind me of Mrs Toyin Poju-Oyemade. She is a lot like you although not exactly

I don’t really know T P-O so well so I can’t say…

Aijay: You have strong personality and if one doesn’t know you well, it will come across as arrogant, especially those not very self-confident, but you are not arrogant. Some people will admire it though. For someone to be your friend, they have to have a strong mind and accept you for who you are. If someone doesn’t have mind, doesn’t have liver, they can’t be your real/close friend because they won’t be able to tell you the truth when you make a mistake.

You are also not a people pleaser and we are in a culture where people don’t say their mind so when they see someone who has her voice, someone that can say NO or YES without apologies, they are surprised!!! It is different but it is not wrong. You really come on strong but you are also accessible especially when you use endearments a lot. It melts hearts too, but in all you have a wonderful personality.

We can assume Aijay is being biased because she LOVES me TOO MUCH but hey, I will take it lol…

Now because I have exhausted 7pages without any spiritual lesson, let me stop and share the real post that was birthed from all these above…

I will share TWO Scriptures, and two Quotes. One from my Journal and the other from Victoria Osteen

God has packed your bags, He put EVERYTHING you need within and He has left NOTHING out…Victoria Osteen

You can be Quiet, Reserved, Introverted and BOLD!!! Why? Because you have the Holy Spirit… Eziaha Bolaji-Olojo

Elijah crossed over to him and cast his mantle upon him. He left the oxen and RAN after Elijah…1 Kings 19: 19b-20a

Now when they saw the boldness and unfettered eloquence of Peter and John even though they were common men with no educational advantages, they marvelled and they recognised they had been with Jesus…Acts 4:13

Guys, can I just unpack what Victoria means when she says GOD HAS PACKED YOUR BAGS? Btw, if I were to give GRACEFUL a human form, that would be VICTORIA OSTEEN!!!

#TheUndebatableEnd

When God created us ehn, I believe He deposited our temperaments within us. Because the very nature of the flesh is already flawed, it means that our Temperaments would have strengths and OF COURSE weaknesses. But, see ehn, we have the HOLY SPIRIT to help us PUSH beyond those weaknesses and then maximise our strengths. Almost like our bags have A-Z but in differing measures, which is really why we are different, so we should know when to unpack X-trait and when to let Y-trait rule.

We adjust our emotions and temperaments as we are led by God but WE NEVER USE OUR TEMPERAMENTS as an excuse to shrink back, believe the devil’s LOUD lies, and function less than He wants for us.

I was literally screaming as I spoke to these Chicks after I heard all they said. I was especially sad that some of them, when they could have easily sought counsel on X and Y matter, didn’t because they thought I was intimidating and won’t understand.

You may disagree BUT trust me, it is NOT my fault. In fact most of them agreed it was more them than me. Am I perfect? No!!! BUT I STILL DO NOT BITE!!!

Victoria, who I closed out with, is NOT a very extroverted Chick. I met her for the first time at BECOMING and I could tell she is more reserved. But when she needs something, she pushes past her personality and the lies the devil stays whispering of ‘she won’t understand me, she is intimidating’ and shares what she needs to share with me.

It should NOT matter how intimidating a human being is. It should not matter how laid back anyone is. It should not matter that your Personality is opposite my own, or you are still trying to figure life out, or you even think your life is a mess. What should matter is that YOU HAVE THE SPIRIT OF GOD, and THAT SPIRIT OF GOD OVERRIDES the weaknesses of your personality, the LIES of the devil, and the deceitfulness of our emotions, so that when PURPOSE comes knocking at our door, IN ANY WAY, we RUN AFTER IT with wisdom…

I say PURPOSE because I believe certain humans and events are put in our path to help us on this journey to purpose. We can’t keep saying ‘I am shy… I am phleg, I feel disadvantaged, etc…’ and be letting all these God-ordained meetings and relationships slide past us.

There is also the place of NOT letting our overzealousness and over-ginger let us miss out on great relationships.

For example, I am very sanguine and being sanguine is cool BUT has its weaknesses!!! I have the super human power to come on too strong and then ruin relationships. Which is why I highlighted the ‘with wisdom’ above. God packed my bags and made me sanguine but I have to learn where to ‘be myself’ and where to ‘NOT be myself’ because being myself at that time is NOT wisdom.

There are some people I meet, or places I am at, and I am EZIAHA through and through. Like me or hate me, your wahala. I am just myself.

There are some people I meet and I am EZIAHA 50% and I have to hide the remaining 50%. Not every time FULL TANK!!! Sometimes, gentle!!!

I have ruined relationships before, some for good (like me and my home help who I finally sent away) and some God has restored (like my best friend mentioned above who is NOT my best friend lol). I was going to ruin one just last month and God had to literally sit me down and teach me how to relate with this amazing human (someday I will tell her that story lol). I naturally don’t have a lot of boundaries, and so I just jaye-jaye through life with just about anybody. That’s FOOLISHNESS!!!

Now, a lot of times like Dr N taught me, sometimes I wanna hug and kiss and tell you how awesome you are BUT I just say Hello with a polite smile or smiley, keep moving. Sometimes, especially when I find a new Squad member, I wanna chat with you all day everyday BUT I tell myself NO, Eziaha, relax…

Trust me, that is me beating my flesh all the way down. It is just the same way it is hard for the more reserved people to even say a simple HI. But I have to, because I am wise. I have to be wise. I have to live beyond my emotions. God packed my bags but I need to know how to unpack each of the goodies within. Plus God told me something recently

Eziaha, you have to do HARD STUFF!!! 

And that would involve not just physical strength alone but EMOTIONAL STRENGTH and we all know EMOTIONS are super strong!!!

And I am learning the art of balancing the contents of my bag from Christine Caine my ‘rose modem’. Chris is CRAZY but her craze reduces in some Churches ooo. When she at HillSong, she is Home!!! She can say anything. But I have heard her in a session with Bishop Jakes and she ‘maintained’. The FIRE is always there. She can get us all running laps, but she knows how far she can go with her ‘personality’. I am actually looking for the Message she preached at Joel’s church.

You know you can’t come and be shouting on us too much at Lakewood. You will give Victoria a headache please. She would have to sleep for 2days straight.

I don’t expect her to NOT BE CHRIS but I certainly expect her to be a different person than the Chick who preaches at Elevation church.

Same gift. Different manifestations, because WISDOM!!! (Thank you Chris)

Now let’s flip the script on the quiet ones.

But first let me throw in the Acts scripture and my Quote which came from my ACTS study.

Now when they saw the boldness and unfettered eloquence of Peter and John even though they were common men with no educational advantages, they marvelled and they recognised they had been with Jesus…Acts 4:13

So that means that…

…You can be Quiet, Reserved, Introverted and BOLD!!! Why? Because you have the Holy Spirit… Eziaha Bolaji-Olojo

I don’t think Boldness is the exclusive preserve of any temperament. I believe it is the Holy Spirit that, not just makes us BOLD but also CONTROLS our boldness (because I can be foolishly bold too).

Not our education, not how much we have figured life out or not, not how much money we have or not, not the crew we roll with or not, just THE HOLY SPIRIT and because we all have Him, we can ALL BE BOLD when we need to be bold. That quote above was highlighted again to me this morning as I prepped for this post…

They were not learned and they were in the midst of Professors so they sure didn’t have no right to be bold. They were not rich. Their MASTER had left them hanging, so if anything, they should have been confused at the time. But no, they had the Holy Spirit and they spoke boldly.

They seized their moment.

I believe that Act of Peter and John formed the foundation of Christianity today. That’s how their world entered the next level WITH PURPOSE!!!

Stop all this ‘…I am shy, I don’t know how to meet people, etc.!!!’

If there is a purpose to meeting anyone, please reach out.

Send that email. Ask if you can pay them a visit. Ask if you can PA them for a day. Ask if you can buy them coffee or Lunch. Send that text. If you see them in the mall and they are standing in line for 30-45mins, please go over and say hello, and something else that makes sense.

Stop letting your personality, and the fickle emotions it brings up per time, to hinder your blessings. You have to seize moments ooo…

Because frankly, you never know ooo. You just never know.

Your blessing is not in a car, or a job in itself. YOUR BLESSING IS IN PEOPLE and with people, you have to create and maintain relationships.

And sometimes, purposeful relationships don’t just PARK at your DORMOT and wait for you to GRAB them. Most times, those purposeful relationships are in MOTION and we have to be intentional and RUN after them, literally and figuratively.

Enter our final scripture

Elijah crossed over to him and cast his mantle upon him. He left the oxen and RAN after Elijah…1 Kings 19: 19b-20a

I heard my latest Preacher crush Steven Furtick explain this and it tied up well with this Post as I rolled it over in my head.

I just can’t wait to worship at Elevation Church haha.

Preacher man so cool and so fine!!! And he sings oh-so-well. If David had a face today, that would be Steven Furtick.

You see what happened in that Scripture? Elijah was passing by, and then he threw the mantle on Elisha and even though the text doesn’t mention, we know he didn’t stop. He probably even walked faster sef, because the next verse says Elisha had to chase him to catch up with him.

You see… destiny doesn’t have a parking spot ooo.

That’s too good I have to repeat in BOLD BLOCK LETTERS

DESTINY DOES NOT HAVE A PARKING SPOT!!!

Elisha may have been tired, grumpy, sad, phlegmatic, melancholic or whatever, but he was wise enough to seize that moment, and we know how his life went from there on.

STOP LETTING YOUR EMOTIONS OR PERSONALITY RULE!!!

YOUR PERSONALITY IS NO HINDERANCE. IF ANYTHING IT IS IN YOU TO HELP YOU!!!

But because all that personality/temperament thing falls under the part of the human called the mind/emotion, you need to know that it is NOT born again. It is NOT saved automatically. Only your Spirit is saved so you need to constantly bring that emotion under the Spirit control, which is why I mentioned the Holy Spirit above.

That is also why Tim Lahaye wrote THE SPIRIT CONTROLLED TEMPERAMENT.
I hope you receive this and apply it as wisdom demands to your life. GOD Himself packed your ‘bags’, He put ALL you need and left NOTHING out.

Moreover, I don’t think anybody will slap you if you walk up to them. At all at all!!!

Last last, they will ignore you abi? Move on. We have 10,000 Teachers guys.

No excuses!!!

Muah

E’

PS

This Post was to come up Monday. I apologise it didn’t. I was BUSY lol.

Yawl know my hubs was around so we had to re-order priorities, AMEN!!!

PPS

Read the PROPEL post?

Find it here. Interested? The email is up now. Propel@eziaha.com
Super-duper excited!!!

Praying that God is stirring the right hearts and not just Chicks who are looking for ‘the next thing’ to join.

And hey, if you are interested in hosting a Chapter or Group, and you need help, holler too. Send an email.

Super excited about women coming together to do BIG things for Jesus THE RIGHT WAY

PPS

Hey, speaking of women doing BIG things, two Chicks having meetings you wanna attend

First my accountability partner and her prayer meeting.

I get to lead a prayer point and I am excited because it has to do with Prayers for our womanhood!!! Yay!!! Biko join us. Tz this Saturday.

And then the next Saturday, one of my Sisters,Renny, in the #Sisterhood I spoke about here is having a conference and trust me, you wanna be THERE!!!

Registration is JUST 2k so holler!!!

PPPS

Humour me though. Who do you think I am? What is my online personality like? Who do I remind you of? The answers above kinda shocked me because I am mostly unserious lol. At least I think so. Anyways please just tell me lemme know abeg. Be anon if you wanna. Just humor me please…

I am surprised no one said Heather Lindsey tho. Somedays i scream like her. I watch her too much lol