In this blog post, I don’t have any filters. Your emotions will want to be offended, but if you are wise, and want to last long, you will find the gems here. I am writing to us young people who are smelling success and suddenly want to be foolish. Stop. Read. Apply.
Happy Blogging again!!!
Hehe, my darling, this is the FIRST original blog I am writing this year on Eziaha.com. Intentionally stepped back from creating new content on my blogs and YouTube channel to work on other projects, leaving this blog in low-maintenance mode, and republishing content from the past, but now since those projects have gained momentum, I am back to content creation. Yipeeee.
Check out my latest YouTube video on being a Professional at home.
So for my first official blog here, I wanted to share something that has really been on my heart, especially about Millennials and GenZ.
Have we noticed how we are now passing off very strong vibes that basically say to everyone that we don’t need their correction and guidance?
From mentors, to teachers, pastors, friends, leaders, HODs, and even our parents? And sometimes we don’t just vibe it, we say it!
And once you correct us, we’re out!
Out of groups, churches, jobs, communities, units and more.
We are making money, driving cars, going on vacation, so hey, who needs mentors or counsel, or anyone telling me what to do again?
Now of course, I know there are toxic and abusive leaders, bosses and all, but you MUST agree with me that our emotional fragility is SO high these days that we are interpreting even loving correction as abuse, and it is costing us big time!
At the centre of this independent foolishness is a heavy satanic machinery, that truly wants to destroy us.
Satan is working hard to:
~Inflate our perceived success
~Increase our offendability quotient
~Then annihilate us
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.Proverbs 12 v 15 NLT
We have let our small achievements make us gods unto ourselves, and everyone who wants to correct us is now scared. They don’t want to be labeled judgemental, unkind or even be canceled
So we wallow deeper and deeper in foolishness, and sometimes are flat out destroyed.
…Your self-satisfied smugness will kill you.Proverbs 1 v 32b TPT
But guess what, dear Reader?
It is one thing to achieve, and a whole ‘noda ball game to LAST LONG.
I don’t just wanna be this girl who is here blazing today, and irrelevant tomorrow.
I don’t want my success at the expense of a healthy soul, which comes from, not just accolades, but painful corrections, guidance and leadership from someone who will not kiss butt!!!
I desperately want to last long, and stay healthy, loving my life and shining brighter the longer I live.
The ways of right-living people glow with light; the longer they live, the brighter they shine.Proverbs 4 v 18 MSG
And see who the Bible calls wise, those who listen to advice.
…but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.Proverbs 12 v 15b KJV
So here are 5 things you can do now to stop the foolishness;
1. Exchange your emotional fragility for emotional agility
In other words, CHEST IT!
Since I heard the term from PDDK, I have been appropriating it to myself, seeking to strengthen my emotions, instead of erupting childishly emotionally in words and actions, acting like a spoilt brat everytime some thing I don’t exactly like comes my way.
I am asking myself deeper Qs and letting myself pause and examine, and where possible, strengthen my emotions before making decisions and reacting.
2. Receive correction like a Christmas/Birthday Present
Ah, this one is so key, as (this is a Secret), people who correct or confront you on a matter most times have thought and rethought it before coming to you. Like I said, this devilish independent spirit is really rife, and since the person is not even gaining anything from it, but just wants to show their love and be a good Christian/Person, they are offering you the gift of correction for your foolishness, they don’t want to be misinterpreted or seen as controlling or worse still, toxic, so they think many times first.
The LAST thing you wanna do, darling, is push back, or argue, especially when the person is of higher authority.
Ah!!! I have foolishly done such before, and I know I lost major opportunities for feedback with people, so now I am working actively to let them know they are permitted.
No matter how you feel, even if you feel they are wrong (and they may be), BUT you are not allowed to push back, especially immediately. Give it some time, pray and then take the necessary wise action later, BUT at that material moment, the only thing you wanna do is THANK THEM and mean it. Thank them profusely, and let them know how much you appreciate it, and any other feedback they have for you in the future.
Like I said, we may not take everything, but give it time, my sisters, and don’t push back immediately.
There are people who have pushed back so much with me that sadly now, I don’t say anything to them anymore, beyond a smile.
3. Go back later with feedback
This one ehn, many people are unaware. That someone spends their time giving you feedback, counsel, or course correction on something, then you disappear and never go back to them, to first thank them AGAIN, then give feedback on that matter.
If you have healthy relationships, even when you don’t exactly do what they say because you feel God leading you in a different direction, explain with honor and wisdom. For example, they was a time when one of my mentors told me to reconsider using someone for an event I wanted to have. I thanked her well, and asked for time to pray. I did pray and I felt like I still needed to use her, and I did! And she was perfect. I went back to my mentor however and told her, respectfully, and she agreed with me, and we still have a really solid relationship.
So whether feedback is yay or nay, go back.
Even worse is when they give you an assignment or project to do, that will benefit you, and then you just disappear, and never come back. Then when another issue hits you, usually as a result of your foolishness which they were trying to help you avoid, you now start disturbing them with calls and messages. My sister, that’s ABUSE and you are being a TOXIC mentee/protegee. STOP IT!!!
And it doesn’t matter how successful you think you are, and they are not, and how many Instagram followers you have and they don’t, don’t despise counsel ooo. E get why!!!
4. Resist the Urge to cut off
Lol. This one makes me laugh on how people say ‘a season is over’ because they are offended by someone, then they leave a church, a job, a group, or end a relationship.
One day God told me ‘Emotions don’t determine when a season is over. Instructions do’
So whether I am offended or tickled by you, I stay under authority and submit, until the Commander says MOVE. And don’t be there and rebellious, Darling. Be there and humble, submissive, and engaging. Don’t be foolish, Darling.
Don’t close a season that God would have you in for your protection, nourishment and joy.
Simply put, don’t be foolish.
Very closely related to that is,
5. Shut up
Don’t go about blabbing even when you disagree, even when a season is really over, or you prematurely end one. The temptation is high, and the authority figure may even be at fault, but resist the urge to be a blabber mouth. When in doubt, shut up and pray!!! Not merely for them, but for you. And if you need a prayer point, refer to point number 1.
One thing I have learned as I navigate the interesting waters of leadership and faith is that there is some context you will NEVER get from your own vantage point, unless you are in Leadership. You may wonder and even question why some actions are taken on some issues, and you think you will and can do better if you had that position, but there is a reason they are in that position and you and I are not, so shut up.
And pray for your heart!
I hope this helps you.
Trust me, this is for me as well. I am having to navigate relationship better especially as my success and influence increases, and submit even more to authority, letting them know that they can correct me at any time T, please.
I have decided that I will never outgrow the correction of God and the men He placed in my life.
And I pray you decide that too.
That’s how to last long oooo, and not be destroyed by your own success.
Let me know which of these 5 points resonate the most, AND which one you will apply RIGHT NOW. Some of us may need to call an authority figure we have been foolish with and apologize, then take actions to get back into their circle of influence and submit.
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