While you wait for your #happily ever after, there are a few things you can cultivate in your single season. This blogpost was first published in 2013 and I share on how you can be purposefully single.
Before I proceed, I should absolutely be a Consultant to prospective Corpers on how to have a totally AMAZING NYSC year.
I love love love my PPA, LG etc. This year has been real… Bless God.
By end of January, guess who will be powerfully done with NYSC?
So what inspired this post?
I was talking to a, well acquaintance, a few days back. She had actually asked me about my short term plans (say 5years) and stuff, and I went on and on… where I would like to work, what kinda job I would love to do, etc. And then she said something I found very disturbing. It went something like ‘…well you can afford to plan your life and all because you have found ‘THE ONE’. Me I am still searching and so I cannot afford to have plans yet because when I get hooked and married, my husband will change it all… So I don’t even make any futuristic plans, I just live each day as it comes till I find ‘THE ONE’ and then I can start making plans for my life…’
Don’t mind my ‘roger that’ jare. I just saw the movie ‘Last flight to Abuja’, which was STELLAR by the way. Reminded me why I loved Omotola, (beyond her having a managing a home and career, at least to the best of my knowledge) and how beautiful she is…
Ok back to this story. I will just call her O*
I couldn’t say so much to O because she was pretty convinced about her stance and it would take some time explaining what I am writing here, and I had little time to spare then. So I said I will do a post with her story and have her read it…
Speaking of stories, someone wanted to ask me something on BB and changed her mind because she said that I would use her question and do a blog post… well sugar, I did find a way to bring this in here so feel free to feel justified.
Ok back to the story of E’ and O… for the second time hehehe
Ladies, please listen to me… Men too, if this applies… You can NOT put your life on PAUSE MODE waiting for a man biko nu. WHAT’S THAT???!!! That is definitely NOT how to spend your FEW single years. So what should you do while you are waiting, especially if you are done with your first degree and all…?
1. Get a (Career/business)LIFE. I am of the strong opinion that you most likely will meet THE ONE while you are living that life… feel free to DREAM big and start taking baby steps towards achieving them, Newsflash ladies, guys these days don’t want no liability yo!!! If I were a guy, I would NOT too. A purposeful woman is always MORE ATTRACTIVE. Learnt that from my darling PASTOR BIMBO, bless her sweet soul. If you need to go ahead and do something to better your career chances, please do. If you need to relocate and you are sure God would have you, please do. A second or third degree, please enjoy… While you are waiting. And don’t worry that guys would be intimidated by you. The kinda guy that would be intimidated by your success story and life is the sort of man you should NOT be even remotely interested in. These days I think many more real men are the ones encouraging their partners to be the very best they can be. And you need a real man… So soar baby…
2. Get a SOCIAL LIFE… Oh please by all mean socialize. Do plenty sleepovers and girls night outs. Travel to as many countries and states that you can, just because… Have cinema and beach dates. Catch up with your friends. Visit. Babysit. Attend and/or host bridal and baby showers. Take that dance/french/drama/whatever class. Oh btw, how did I miss EAT INDOMIE now while you can… You can’t be asking me if eating indomie is a SOCIAL thing. Please it is, for me.
3. Be active in your local church. Go on retreats and all nights. Attend all the programs you can in church, not only relationship programs. Please join and be active in units mehn… This is the time to go for outreach, evangelism and follow up. This is the time. I can’t over emphasize that ooo. Not that you would NOT have time anymore when you are married oo, Just that you have more time now as a single lady. So rock church baby…
4. Just enjoy being single. Enjoy having an opportunity to sleep alone. To come back and eat indomie all alone, without any body wanting to eat pounded yam. To just get up and go, no permission needed or solicited. To just be… Be free and happy.
5. PRAY and keep your confessions straight. Sweetheart, he that will come will come and not tarry. Our God is so faithful. Don’t let the society or your parents or friends pressure you into making the wrong and hasty decisions. Remember, they will NOT live with you. Neither will they suffer with you if you are not enjoying your marriage. BE WISE. Like my Rev would say, COMPLETE and FINISHED are not always synonyms. They can be antonyms too. If you marry the right person, you are COMPLETE, if you marry the wrong person, you are FINISHED. And like my Pastor Mildred Kingsley Okonkwo always advices single ladies, PLEASE MARRY WELL OOO.
Feel free to add more in the comments section. I think that’s all from me for now.
I am single too. I am NOT telling you stuff I do not do or have not done. At least most of it I do. Or did in time past.
Being in a relationship WITH THE RIGHT PERSON is like heaven on earth. I imagine marriage is even better. But singlehood is NOT a disease. For you to be properly cleaved, you need to enjoy being single… and not lonely, or stagnated in life.
Singlehood rocks!!! Please ROCK IT. And single ladies ROCK too.
Cheers, to all my single ladies only who are living life to the max, or now intend to…
post was written a while ago. Say four months ago…
i hardly edited it
Ok something. Marriagebythebook has this Post on the WRONG KINDA THIRD PARTY
The Post blessed me and y’all know how I love to share cool stuff with you. It bordered on sharing stuff that happens in your relationship with friends and knowing when to draw the line. Really cool stuff. I just love to see people living through godly marriages making Singles know that they too can have a fantastic marriage as Christians.
I enjoyed reading it. the Naijawife asked a question on something like ‘Would you want your friend to tell you if she caught your partner cheating?’ I was tagged to answer on Twitter and frankly I have NEVER thought about it. I truly don’t know. Such a hard question… Gosh!!! Lemme see people’s answers first sha.
You can follow all these cool peeps on twitter @marriagebydbook @inthemidstofher @1plustheone
They do Twittter right.
And me too @eziahaa
My darling girlfriend Uche has just birthed a BOUNCING baby girl. HALLELUJAH
Blogged about her here.
Not sure she will want me to share pictures yet.
Promised her I will be in the hospital to see her, not just coming top her house afterwards so I am off to the hospital mad busy as I am.
That baby is my god daughter so… Lemme go and give my own name. Infact, my name for her is
*drumroll necessary. Complete with flashing paparazzi lights*
Perfect name… Emotional name for me
Congrats Uche hun… Thank you Jesus. Now you have two. But I know you are going to 10 so… Good luck
Ok let us lose the weight before the next one… hehehehe
Hopefully I will share pix in the next Post
Of baby and me of course. #MyFirstGodDaughter