First of all, how do you like the name, Domestic Queen? I love it. I think it is an absolute upgrade from stay-at-home mom, which was a very welcome upgrade from housewife. Thank goodness.
Whatever name you prefer though, running the home is a full-time job and I personally believe that it is ideal to have a domestic help, whether ‘live-in’ or ‘come and go’.
Today, I am writing for moms who for one reason or the other don’t have either of these two kinds of help.
How are you coping?
Well, I am currently in the throes of running my home without a help, while simultaneously running my home-based business and other streams that flow out of me. This gig is hard, I won’t even try to sugarcoat it. It was a lot easier when I had a help; but for valid reasons, I decided against getting another after she left.
It was clear I needed help, so I refined the kind of help I needed. Some of it unconventional, but because we know it takes a village to raise a child, (and maybe a clan to run a home), I still found ‘help’ that worked for me and my family. All unconventional, but they work.
School
First, with both my kids at school between 7am and 3pm, I consider school the first help that I have. Yes, they are helping me educate my kids, but they are also by extension, freeing up time for me to get my acts together and make those eight hours count.
What this means is that for any mom in these shoes, you must become a better time manager – any personal or official work not completed in those hours would have to be rolled over to the next day. Children demand and spell love as A-T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N.
Cleaner
The next help I got was a cleaning lady to come in once or twice a week to do laundry and general spring cleaning. With that amount of cleaning done, all I need do is maintain it upward from there, so that the house remains in a fairly clean state before she comes again.
Home Appliances
The third kind of help you can get would be home appliances that would make life easy for you. Personally, I needed just two things: a washing machine and a deep freezer. The washing machine would take laundry out of my to-do list, and a freezer meant I could cook and store in bulk, so there would be no need to cook daily. I don’t know what kind of appliance would help you, but it may be worth saving and making adjustments to your budget to get it.
Siesta
Absurd as this one may sound, I consider siesta (even if for forty-five minutes to an hour) a kind of help. Once the after-school activities of bathing, dressing, eating, doing homework/house chores and playing are over, the home most likely would be in a messy state. Insisting on siesta would allow you some time to clean up before dinner time and your husband gets home. Granted, you would not be able to guarantee a clean home every single time he gets home, but don’t let your home look like it just escaped a hurricane. A clean home is great for sanity and productivity, so ‘get help’ and let your kids observe siesta – even if all they do is sit and stare in their rooms.
Friends and family
Since we cannot exhaust all the possibilities of unconventional domestic help, I would like to end with this one which I consider very important and that is friends and family. Oh, please enlist their help. You have not because you have not been an ‘asker’. Sadly, most of us are too shy or make very wrong assumptions and so miss out on amazing help. Ask that single friend to help you run errands; or better still, if she can come over to mind your kids while you go run errands, enjoy some me-time or date night with your husband. Take the kids to their grandparents or family members some weekends if they live close and it is an option. Ask someone from your local church to come babysit while you catch a few hours of sleep.
Don’t assume everyone is busy and no one would have time to help. It would surprise you to know that some people are waiting for you to ask as they don’t want to be too forward. So, go ahead and ask, and don’t give up because the first two people declined. Try other people. You can even take your kids to a friend who has Domestic help and have them mind your kid while you get some much-needed R&R (Rest and relaxation).
Whatever you decide, make sure that you are being responsible as you delegate responsibilities for the care of your child(ren) in those hours.
So, dear Domestic Queen without Domestic Help, find your unconventional help and rock out your life and season.
This post is pulled from my several posts on Bella Naija.
Love and Light.
Eziaha.