I recall EXACTLY where I was, holding my phone when her message dropped…
‘I’m in UCH and I am going in for a surgery…’
That was a message from a dear dear friend.
Because I know the back story of the ‘situation’ that landed her in the hospital and how we had faith’ed it all along, this statement was enough to jolt me. It didn’t help that a close friend just had same surgery a few weeks back too. I mean, not again!!!
First thing I was gonna do was panic, and then type some ‘not-so-faithFULL’ words.
E.g.
Wow!!!
What happened now?
Chai!!!
Na wa oooo!!!
And the likes…
They sound like normal caring words abi? But NO hon, not only are they FAITHLESS, they are also fearFULL.
I mean, what would all that RUBBISH above do for someone going in for a procedure if not make her more scared or discouraged, especially if her faith is still building… Certainly not what she needed at the time.
So I paused.
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I know ‘IT IS WELL’ sounds like a cliche for you but the popularity of that phrase hasn’t reduced its efficacy if spoken in faith.
Yup!!! Read that again!!!
THE POPULARITY OF IT IS WELL DOES NOT AND CANNOT REDUCE ITS EFFICACY WHEN SPOKEN IN FAITH!!!
This sounds so good that I should frame it.
I then proceeded to ask her if I could ring her immediately and she said yes.
And all through the long call, I made sure to speak FAITH and positive words and then gist about other good stuff that would make her laugh all through that convo till the phone cut and I called back,
because… Whatever things are lovely and of a good report…Philippians 4:8
Some of yawl need to apply the spirit of SHUT UP first before you just blurt out anything from your mouth when someone shares something with you.
In that moment of pause, ask yourself what you can say to encourage the person not discourage or frighten them.
Something interesting happened in the time between my last post on DETOX and this one. I wasn’t so sure which of my already written posts to go up next so I decided that I would just chill and let God give me a CLEAR sign. Somehow, I saw a comment on Dr. N’s series Murder at St. Lucas Hospital pt 20 which made me go back all the way to Part 1 to refresh.
I then saw this line which I had missed the HUGE lesson there earlier but which the Holy Spirit highlighted to me that night I read.
Do you see the wisdom the friend had to apply, technically THE SPIRIT OF SHUT UP, before calling Dr. Veronica? Of what use would tears have been to someone in ‘the Lion’s den’ literally? God told her to STAY OFF THE PHONE UNTIL SHE HAD A WORD!!!
Btw, go read the entire series and just be richly blessed. Especially for those of you hung up on secular blogs and all. That sister can writeeeee mehn. (Dr. N, I told ya I had more abi? Lol)
Ok, that was one sign that made me know this post was ready to go LIVE. That and another phonecall I received today which I would share at the end.
Oh I recall all the truck load of nonsense I heard from some people including believers when they heard the new phase of mamahood demanded my taking a career break and moving to Lagos to start my life over again.
Now don’t get me wrong, some of yawl/them were just being caring and wanting to make sure it was the right thing to do at the time. Bless them/you. But most people operated from a position of FEAR and *lemme not say it cos tz not nice* lol
Ah!!! How can u QUIT a UN job?
After everything… Na wa oo!!!
I don’t believe you quit just like that. Do you know how many people are looking for work in Nigeria?
Now that jobs are hard to get in Nigeria…
etc
You know there were some comedians I even spent my time telling them my VERY VALID reasons and reminding them that
‘God brought it jare. When I am ready to get back to work, He will bring another…’
but they would go ahead to remind me of how many people are jobless in Nigeria and how this person or that person bin dey find work sinceeeee…
The funniest (and I say that tongue in cheek) has to be
WHERE WILL YOU WORK???
I mean, you think the situation is bigger than God??? You dare try to have the final say when I just gave you THE FINAL SAY from the One whose is the earth and all its fullness???
Ugh!!!
No less annoying was the fact that it was just hard for some people to just assume, just give me the darned benefit of doubt, that I knew what I was doing and then just shut da heck up!!!
I had never experienced such before so it really surprised me especially when it came from fellow believers. If I didn’t know God, it would have been overwhelming. And I must admit, it used to affect me at the beginning then especially when the whole thing was still doing me one kain. I mean, I was leaving A B U J A, my land of Milk&Money, even if for the time being.
God bless the people who always spoke faith whenever I mentioned. And I must admit, most DCC members were that way. You would only hear words of encouragement (even when we spoke casually) from them it made me so proud of the words that come from the altar. The BEST thing I have heard so far has to be
‘… but Eziaha, you NEVER loose with God…’
That came from my Abuja mama, Minister Gloria.
Settled everything!!! God bless her.
Oh and then my close friends? Amazing lot. It encouraged me that they all just believed that I had taken the BEST decision and were so full of support.
Dumebi, Eniola, Valerie, Ayo, Priceless, you ladies rock. God bless yawl!!!
And err, incase some of yawl wonder why I reduced my communication with you? Hahaha. You probably used to spew a lot of fear/discouragement from your mouth with your words. #iCant.
Sweetie. I know you have heard this a million times but it bears repitition
Words, your words even spoken at/to someone, are very powerful. Don’t be releasing nonsense and fear anyhow.
When you hear something especially when it is not exactly ‘good news’ at surface level, pause first, or like Heather will say, apply the spirit of SHUT UP. When you have mused within you and come up with an appropriate response/Word reflecting your BELIEVER TAG, only then can you speak.
Otherwise, still SHUT UP!!!
But IT IS WELL remains a very potent thing to say.
Say it and mean it, because
Even David knew when to PAUSE and apply the Spirit of SHUT UP, meditate before now speaking…
‘I will watch what I do [APPLY THE SPIRIT OF SHUT UP FIRST] and not sin with what I say… My heart was HOT within me, while I was musing (meditating), the fire burned within me, then spoke I with my tongue…...’ Psalms 39:1ff
Fearful words? No baby…
Cheers to Faith speaking, all day, err’SINGLEday!!!
E’
PS:
Part 2 will look at this from a more personal angle- You applying the spirit of shut up to your own life. I don’t think the post is quite ready to be written so if it is not the next coupla posts, I haven’t forgotten.
PPS
Ok so that phonecall I spoke about. My friend’s baby had just turned 6months so she had her pictures splashed all over like I had KingDaveed’s.
You know how it is now, people wishing the baby a Happy 6months, telling the mama well done, etc. Only for a ‘sister’ to actually call her and say ‘Your baby is now fine. ooo When she was given birth to, she was ugly’. Azzin somebody, a mom herself, rang another mother to pay such a stupid backhanded compliment? That was the reason she picked up her phone and called me? You see why the SPIRIT OF SHUT UP is needed in large doses? How does anyone do that? A baby ooo!!! I just told my friend to be sure to CALL HER OUT. Yes, you should call out such behaviour and not just ignore it. Tell her NEVER to try that whether with you or someone else and point out the errors of her ways. She is probably ignorant or think say everything na play. Then tell her that THE SPIRIT OF SHUT UP avails. You can send anyone who needs to apply THE SPIRIT OF SHUT UP a link to this post…
PPPS
Next Post is definitely going to be all about the gift I got my husband whose birthday was actually yesterday, the 6th.
He is yet to get it until he enters Lagos and he has blackmailed me with everything to tell him what is in it but I didn’t. But by the time the Post comes up, he should have gotten it and I can then share the story behind it and his reaction too… Really good stuff. Watch this space on the 10th by God’s Grace. Yes, we are on a roll on this Blog this October, I told yawl… haha
PPPPS
The surgery went well thank God. My friend is home, hale and hearty. Whoop!!!
Fab E, how r u doing sweetie. U are so full of wisdom as always. Meanwhile Wassup with ur WhatsApp? Sent message, no deliver. Keep up the good werk
Vivian darling.
I will send u a msg jare no vex.
Thank you Love.
We miss you. That is how we are doing. Visit Lagos. Or move to Lagos. Haha
Kisses to my lovely Zara and Super hero Dubz haha
Mama E’ I am enjoying this October flow, may it be permanent .Amen!lol
We sometimes want people to feel as if we can feel their pain, and so make those statements. One thing I learnt from this post is that it is not my place to feel pity for them but encourage and pray for them. Like Heather would say don’t gossip about them, pray for them instead. Mama E’ where is our sign out o?
P.S.kisses to KingDaveed for me. Happy belated birthday to the hubster
Teal!!!! I started EDITING this post at 11pm and finished at 2am. I had written it earlier. Just edit.
Permanent indeed looool
Yes u have a point. I guess I can empathise too but more than anything ENCOURAGE. Empathy won’t do much, abi? We can balance.
Which signout?
Thanks boo
Our Heather’s style of signing out.
Oh…
God crazily loves you babe
Haha
Selfish I know but am glad we are in lag together joo. Look forward to meeting u someday soon, by God’s Grace, before you go back to Abuja. Cos you will, God’s Word still holds sure. So for now tiz for my good jare…..*smiles*. Wonderful inspired post as always. God bless u darl
Ij love. Thanks so much.
Lol at selfish.
Now if only Priscilla Shirer would move to my house!!! SIGH
E…THANK you so much for this post. It’s really been insightful..I pray God gives me the wisdom when and how to apply the spirit of SHUTUP in my life. I remember u telling me about leaving your job…I mustadmit I was fearful and (my apologies I guess) if I was on e of the “bad” lot…you are a strong woman and I totally believe in his time GOD will perfect all that concerns you.
Thank you Eva.
Amen oooo
Ok so I know you personally? Real name oooo lol
Hey Dear,I haven’t met you yet, but you sound so Me! And I can say we already met, cos we just click! Besides your blog is amazing, I’m glad I joined.First of all, I want to appreciate God for pretty Mamas like you, who have given me faith and encouragement through your messages.I just feel like sharing my story with you (But dnt publish oo) LolMy name is ***** by the way, âI got married, Hubs in Lagos, me in Ilorin (working as a Lecturer)………..
Hi Efe,
I guess you did not know that when I approve your comment, you would end up sharing the post publicly lol
I had to edit the most part out tho but I read and I am so blessed.
Thank you for sharing and God bless your home
E
Faith-Filled and Wisdom Filled Mama E’
There is a clear difference between speaking fear and speaking faith.
I got a new revelation from Isa 3:10 from this post… Thanks dear
Hugs to KingDaveed
Thanks for reading darling.
I always love your feedback
My dear. I used to think ewoo nawao n all those other stuffs were empathetic words.until I started using Kenneth Copeland daily devotional.
Faithless words that’s what they are.not uplifting at all.completely encouraging someone to doubt God.then I stopped.i don’t have to preach at the person neither do I have to punctuate every syllable with groans n moans n words not found in the dictionary to make the person feel what?definitely not better.so now ill rather be silent if my words will sound preachy.or talk about faith to those that can stand it.i v bn through some situations myself and eya did not help me.i still say eya tho to unserious matters like I m hungry n I don’t feel.like eating.but for serious stuffs I try to talk faith.i pray God helps cos some situation the faith z smaller than a mustard seed.but proclaiming faith helps the person better.
Valerie oooooo
Na real groans and moans hahaha.
Smaller than mustard seed yup which is why we should just speak faith mehn!!! Because EYA can help no one.
Muah love
I love your writing, E’. It always keeps me glued till I
reach d end. Keep up the light!
Thank you so much Nkem 🙂
Just to add that, not just my parents, the whole world was against me. “In these days of no job” “in dis Nigeria, you are leaving a good, flexible, well paying and pensionable job that affords you time for other things”â “Girl, what you are about to do doesn’t make sense”.I took the leap of faith and God honoured it.Just to encourage you. God sees our sacrifices, especially as women. He has a soft spot for us. That’s why when we cry to him, he never fails to answer us. God will bring you an excellent miracle mind blowing job. You will be marveled. Before it comes, He will provide and meet all you needs and send you help just when you need it.I enjoyed your post on war room and the new bible you got. I’m looking to get both asap.Regards to your handsome son.
Efe
thank you so much for sharing your story with me.
I am so grateful. So so grateful.
God bless you
Thanks E’ for another marvellous post!
The spirit of ‘shut up’ is indeed needed in large measures these days. People trying to be sympathetic but they spread fear instead.
I used to think words like “eyaah” “na wa o” were caring words, but now I know better and I’m going to speak more faith building words instead.
Regards to the Hubs and the ever awesome KingDaveed
God bless!
We like EVER AWESOME lol
Thanks love. Me too used to think so ooo till the Holy Spirit schooled me that day.
We never stop learning haha
Thank you for reading and commenting
Eziaha,tanks for this post,may God bless u,I wish some people could listen to themselves wen they talk,especially when u believing God for conception and people would say things like ‘why are u not yet pregnant’,’hope there’s no problem’ and all dat.I ask for God’s grace jus to ignore such statements.Have also learnt to always speak positive to people and ur post even makes me wanna be more conscious abt my words.Godbless u and kisses to kingdaveed
Na wa ooo
When it comes to kids ehn, tz always best to just shut up because you don’t know. You just don’t know.
Btw was going to call u yst. Dunno how and why I forgot. Will ring you soon.
Thanks for reading darling
Nice post and can really relate with this post especially when you left your job. I felt you had better reasons. My mum did the same for us and we grew up without househelps and it helped in who we turned out to be, she is a Pharmacist and also got a federal job immediately our last born got an admission into secondary school (boarding), With God, all things are possible as he will give you a better job. Also being someone who had an accident with a scar on my right eye, I’ve heard all sorts but like my mum will say “the devil knew you had a bright future and tried to hold u back so don’t mind what people say” and some pple now think I fixed contact lens on one of my eyes (umu nwanyi and fashion).
Wow
Just look at that. Faithful God.
Na real umu nwanyi and fashion. It is well jare
Hi Eziaha.
I always look forward to posts from your blog.
Your writings are so inspiring and filled with wisdom.. I keep wishing I had known your blog earlier.?
Looking forward to the post about applying the spirit of shut up to our daily lives…
Thank you soooo much dearie
Me too I am lookinh fwd to it lol
It’s high time I comment! I can’t just be eating every day and not say thank you, it’s bad manners. Pls forgive me.
E’ you’re worded, mehn. Your previous post on Detox really got me. Though I’m not one to follow secular blogs or binge on tv series ( aside Game of thrones 😉 ) but I’m an avid gamer especially scrabble, I spend most of my time on it as I don’t do anything for now. Now I know I v to detox and spend my time studying the word of God. (Thanks for recommending Joyce Meyer’s Everyday Study bible) and now The spirit of Shut-up! Ah! No more faithless words from me. If i v nothing Faith filled to say I’d rather shut-up.. God bless u richly with wisdom.
P.s : Every morning I wake up and see a new post notification, I smile cos I know my day is blessed already. God bless you
P.p.s : kisses to KingDaveed, I owe him.
Xx
Hahaha. Was gonna ask if tz the Angela I know until I saw the scrabble part.
I agree nne. U played scrabble the ENTIRE time u visited with me lol
Tz well ooo. Pls detox 🙂
Thanks for the kind words and prayers. I say amen.
I am happy my posts make ur day. Thank God I have people who read and appreciate cos as much as I love to write, it is hardwork.
When u are in lagos, feel free to visit love
All d best and regards to hubs
@Angela- Scrabble?? I’m intrigued. Also a scrabble player. E u should introduce us. Angela where are you based? U ever played competition scrabble?
Lol engee baby didn’t u hear she wants to detox??? Pls leave her for now ooo
My dearest , the wisdom in applying the spirit of shut up can never be over emphasized. I have bin applying the spirit of shutup for a while now and still applying (works wonders fa). I also do the opposite of shut up sometimes too esp when devil drops a nasty thought in my heart or someone says something negative to me or about a current situation am in, I immediately counter it by saying the opposite loud and clear! The devil should always be reminded we christains aint playing biko. Once again thanks for another blessed post. God bless u gidigan. As per the woman who called to tell your friend such rubbish, all I can say is may God have mercy on her ahan ahan! Some pple sef. She’s lucky she didn’t try that on someone like me. ARRANT NONSENSE!!!.
Hahaha they better not try you ooo lol. Some ppl don’t fear God. Someone else messaged me privately on what someone told her mom too about her being ugly. Oh!!! Almost 30years now sef and her mama just gisted her. Na wa.
Yesooo we shut down the devil abeg.
God bless you too boo
Amen
As always, inspiring and encouraging.
Thanks E’.
I thank God your friends surgery went well.
Spoken like a doctor lol
Only you so far referenced the surgery.
Thanks babe
Was expecting your usual long comment 🙂
Hi E’ my husband LEFT his bank job some months back. ( yup! LEFT not asked to leave) he had his VALID reasons and I gave him my full support, at first I was very scared and wanted him to get another job first b4 resigning, he kept applying and jobs no gree come, my bobo got fed-up and told me he was resigning, a frnd noticed hubs wasnt going 2 work and decided to ask me, I told her d truth and d first thing dat came out of her mouth was ” Aaaaaaaaah! *mouth wide open* but he is a man now, no matter what he shud have remained there till he gets another job na, are u sure he resigned abi they sacked him? ” Kai! I was mad-pissed but thank God 4 d spirit of shut-up I applied that day. Funny enough one month after hubby resigned there was a mass retrenchment for workers in his level and to God be the Glory, his business is doing GREAT!! He earns WAYYYY more dan he was earning @ d bank, he has pleeeeeenty free time and he sleeps well now (he wasn’t sleeping while he was working @ d bank cos of targets and all).
Na waoooooo
Hian!!!
See how God works??? You seeeeee!!!!!
See ehn, this SPIRIT OF SHUT UP is very impt cos u REALLY DUNNO why that person is doing what he/she is doing. Hian
Chai! Babe you are so in sync ehn.. dunno where to start from. Plenty power in spoken words but people don’t know or they seem to forget… I don’t even know which. Mehn ur friend that someone called to tell her trash about her baby hmm.. na wa oo i’m speechless. How does someone do that? Can’t even believe it. How does someone call a baby ugly ehn?? It is really well ooo.
So ya Hubby is my birthday mate….lol. OCTOBER BABIES ARE THE REAL BAES 🙂 **Yels ke** he’s d 5th birthday mate I know. Regards to him.
Hahaha at real bae
Happy belated birthday darling.
That baby matter I am just weak
E’ making sense since…………… (lol- i dont oh)
Just keep the posts coming for as long as you can. God bless ya!
Lol
Thanks boo
Amen
Beautiful post. Thank you
Thank you for reading
Words can give life when used appropriately. It’s not coincidence that scripture says “Life and death is on the tongue” Good job mama!
Thanks mama
This spirit of sharrrap! Lol. I went to pick my kids from sch a few days ago. My daughter ignored her teacher n I who were shouting for her to stop running. She ran down d hallway n fell down. We rushed to her but a mom had helped her up.
ME: Where were u running to?
THE MOM: (Wagging a finger in my face) You should have run after her or called her.
By this time I was about to release my inner “Aba girl”. You know the less posh part of u dt screams ‘your father’ & ‘waka’ at those who cut u off in traffic, forgetting u prayed in tongues b4 leaving d house?
Hehehe.
Anyway, d Holy spirit was able to stop my open mouth from producing sounds. The teacher defended me while I wiped the dirt off my child.
Sometimes, just let God fight for u
I’m titling Part 2 the Spirit of Sharrap!!! Thanks for the idea haha.
Your father!!!! Looooool
Actually a lil birdie said King David was actually the originator of YOUR FATHER oooo
In conversation with Michal after the serious dance
‘…It was God who chose me in place of YOUR FATHER…’
Hmmmm. Looks like we may be in good company oooo
Lmbo
God bless you loads for this post dear! I can totally relate, as i recently left my job. All my life, I’d never felt so much opppsition! I was at odds with my family and even my best friend who normally nudges me spiritually. I had to cut off communication with most of my friends as all I’d received was negativity.
I got lots of painful words; some even sounded like curses! In all of these, what I couldn’t explain was how resolute I was, and the peace i felt. (Hebrews 13: 6)
I was told flat out that I’ll never get help with accomodation as i was out of a job. On the contrary, God had already miraculously provided that for me through a friend who not only offered help, but literally came to my city in the middle of the storm so we could travel to her’s together.(Lamentations 3:37)
The spirit of shut-up would be far from many, as it’s innate to think rationally and narrow-mindedly (this is sometimes synonymous to being ‘faithless’). However, I’m sure our testimonies might just be the experience they’ll need to do so in future.
Nnenna u should comment more. Your final paragraph is everything.
Thank you.
And may God perfect all that concerns you amen
This is indeed a lesson we should all practice.
sometimes people talk and you wonder if you guys read the same bible” not judging though”.
The ugly baby gist is so cruel. who does that? can u imagine someone asking why I had my son via C-section???????? after 4 years of marriage o plus 11hours of labour…..I couldn’t even bring myself to answer such a question..
like my mum will say, you don’t always have to talk. if you cant encourage someone, please shut ur trap already.
Thank God for your friend, her healing is perfected in Jesus name.
Lol! This is getting more interesting. Why you had a C-section? Very soon it will be why you had a baby at all. Some things are just not worth the time and effort. Even if you had a 2 minute labour and had only waited 20 minutes in your marriage to get pregnant. My dear you don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you do to have a healthy mum and child.
Gbam!!!
U know d funny thing, these ppl ask the wrong ppl most times and get away with it.
This is CRAZY on all levels.
Wow!!!
Wait! Someone actually told another human being her baby was ugly?! OMG?!! Eziaha u can’t be serious!!!
As in compared to what? The baby she created seeing as she is God?!
Honestly I don’t get it but I don’t even think it is the spirit of shut up she needs. It’s the spirit of a whole lot of other things starting with common sense and ending with a huge encounter with and indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
It is well o! Please it’s too early in the morning to get me started.
Love how you got bolaji a worthy gift. I’ve been campaigning for years against this cake thing o! I practically announce in church on pk’s birthday. No cake in my house. It’s just a waste of freezer space 🙂
Incredible ooo. Azzin u picked up the phone to call her to say her baby was ugly. Hmmmm. World ppl…
Thank you mama. Lol at freezer space. Exactly what my last birthday cake was… just took up space in my small freezer sef.
I need to apply this to my life!!! Girl!!!!