One of the best things about my marriage I notice these days is just how in sync we are with each other. I dunno how to put it beyond the fact that my marriage just keeps getting better and better and better and many days I just wonder if I can even live without this guy.

My special gift

He just seems to get LIFE itself right. Like what would my life be like without him? Mehn!!!!
Thankfully I don’t have to know what that would be like cos we ridin’ into forever baby… Hehehe.

My ride or ride...

But really this post isn’t about my husband or marriage. Or well, tz about an aspect in it I wanna highlight hoping we all can learn a thing or two. And that would be the GIVING aspect. Oh my hubby is a giver. Or better put, we are both givers. It wouldn’t matter the needs that we have, every month we make it a point of duty to spend on beyond ourselves. And the giving cuts across board oooo.

– Tithes and Offerings (non-negotiable)
– To Pastors and Spiritual authorities
– To our Parents and sibs where applicable
– Seeds and Sacrifices in church/the kingdom
– To our friends celebrating one thing or the other especially weddings and births or when you need to ‘tap in’ hehehe.
– To our friends who are ‘momentarily’ in need.
– To those less privileged than us
– To our mentees, younger friends and the likes

Yes our giving cuts across strata. You give into the kingdom cos that’s the BEST and SAFEST investment. You give to those higher than you (so that you sef go reach their level) and those on the same level and lower than you because tz the christian thing to do.

I mean, once we identify that truly you have a need, we find a way to give what we can. Whether as a family or individually. Truth is we are getting so used to it that it feels very strange to not meet a need in any given month no matter how tinz dey do us personally.
I especially love that once hubs mentions giving to a certain person, the exact amount I have in mind is what he mentions. Or when we are sowing a seed in church and we both are thinking the same thing which is that we have to sow more than we did the last time. Ah!!! The joys of giving as a family. Priceless!!!


Sometimes, even if the person in need doesn’t ask explicitly ooo, we just know that this person needs some kinda financial help and we do what we can. You don’t always have to wait until the person comes cap in hand.

There was a time a good friend was out of job and I recall asking her how she been coping and she mentioned two of our close friends who had been giving her money in that ‘desert period’. It really touched me. She didn’t need to ask them for. They just gave.

Frankly sometimes, all I have is 5k and it hurts me to give that little BUT I still give and remind myself and God (if He ever forgets lol) that He needs to bless me/us more so we can be bigger blessings to His people. This life is interesting sha. Some people have REAL needs ooo. As in, the very basics ooo. Yet here we are, doing ‘aka-aradite‘ just cos we are trying to meet our luxuries. And sometimes sef we have the guts to be ungrateful to God because of the ‘extras’ we can’t have just yet.

You know, my bestie Vee was my sleepover guest yesterday (babe how did we not take pictures? Lol) and she’s a doctor.


So we were talking about some kain disease people will have and just die for the flimsiest reasons. Painful something. How much kwanu? Sometimes in tens of thousands. Ugh!!! Yet a whole life gone!!! Ah!!! Forgive us Father where we have neglected to be grateful for the health we have.

I love it when I meet people who give freely. Frankly I can’t stand stingy people. I think tz devilish. We can’t gather and gather and not find a way to reach out. I mean needs abound all around us but sometimes we are consumed by our own wants. As if our own wants/needs can ever be exhausted.

Oh I have this bigsis who just makes giving a lifestyle. I know several persons she has given esp without asking that it just inspires me. I’m not surprised at how much God blesses her and her family. You can’t be such a wide giver and not be blessed.

Proverbs 11: 24 
The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller (MSG)

You don’t even always have to KNOW who you dey give. Sometimes you just see all those sad stories on blogs and u swoop in to give. So long as you truly know there is a need. There is something SDK does on her blog called In house News (IHN) where a lot of giving and receiving goes on (among other stuff). Just discovered it yesterday sef and I backdated to read as many. Someone might say ‘I need baby stuffs. We can’t afford it atm for so and so reason’ and drop her details then the next week the person is back with pictures of really cool stuff she received from moms who were done with it. Many many tinz people are giving and receiving via IHN. Sometimes tz stuff you are no longer using. I especially love when people who have received give back too most times in form of recharge cards and stuff. I especially love that people ask. I’m not talking of jokers who just sit back and expect manna to drop. I’m saying people who maybe had this or that issue and then need help ask. Oh, ask and you shall receive. Don’t die in silence biko. And then where you can, give!!!

3more stories before I go

I recall when this popular Naija music producer had this bad disease sha and had to be flown to India for treatment. He spoke out and asked for help.

Did he get insulted? Hell yeah…
‘When you were making money, u didn’t save. Instead u married two wives, clubbing etc’
You know we Naija people go harrrrdddd. Lol
But did he receive???
My dear, he got more than needed. Enough to take care of him till post surgery and he too could reach out to some persons in the same condition as he was from what he got. 
Now he’s healthy and back to work again.
Recently, Nollywood lost one of her own from an organ failure. The death pained me. Now if it is true that he truly wanted to keep it hush hush and find a way to raise funds personally, I am justifiably pained. Not that it is my place to say anything but I really wish he (or his friends who knew) went public with this and raised funds. Oh with the money some of these superstars in Nollywood (and even the music industry) have and throw around, and with the calm disposition of this actor, I’m too sure funds would have been raised and proper treatment, even if in the moon, woulda been done and who knows, he may have been alive today. Who knows.
Just too sad!!!

Now my final story.
Just this week, I heard a most shocking news about a friend from Uni. Good guy. Down with a liver condition. Stuff had escalated cos well, it had been hush hush. Apparently, a mutual friend went visiting casually and when he saw what he saw, he decided that NO we can’t hide this thing abeg cos what he saw was BAD. Infact he sent everyone messages prompting us to give. He didn’t even need the dude’s permission. Gosh the night I heard it, I was livid with everyone who knew and hushed it. I called everyone I knew to get as much info. Raised as much awareness. We organised prayers and then people started giving too.
You can’t just pray alone and not do what you can to help financially.

James 2

14 What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? 15 Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing,

16 and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?

17 So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.

That’s NLT. Permit me to share The Message too.

14-17 Dear friends, do you think you’ll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, “Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!” and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn’t it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?

A lot of people shy from giving thinking ‘others are giving’ but no, you too give. There is a SURE reward.

Now, is my friend better? Not quite.
But will we beat this thing? You bet we will!!!
Are more funds needed? Very very YES!!!
And we have been doing what we can to raise more. For him to get standard treatment. Infact, I’m amazed as to how fast SOME people mobilised themselves after news went public (at least within we his colleagues at school).
But when I heard it, oh how I wish we knew sooner than now. 
The medical reports aren’t good but our God is a healer.
I know I will testify about him here. Please feel free to uphold him in your prayers. And hey, if you are led to give, holler personally at me and I can share his bank details.

But frankly, we should be very grateful for the life and health we have. And find as many opportunities to be a blessing to others not just being so into ourselves. 

Here’s to a life that looks beyond its needs to sowing seeds in as many places where it truly matters…

Gal 6:10
Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith (NLT)




30 Responses

  1. Hmm. Us naija people and hush hush sha. Hmm… People die in silence when it could have been different. I wish your friend a speedy recovery.
    Ps… Xoxox sis.

  2. This is sad. I lost a friend to Kidney failure last year. Very painful.

    I however think you should add the amount you guys are looking to raise for his treatment so that anyone who wants to contribute/donate will have a figure to work with.

    1. My dear, I kept thinking of Muna ooo. It scared me silly. Knew we had to act fast.
      About the figure, Nne for now let’s just give. Stuff is still ‘one kain’ as it is. But rest assured every one penny is VERY welcome now

    2. My dear, I kept thinking of the late actor oooo. It scared me silly. Knew we had to act fast.
      About the figure, Nne for now let’s just give. Stuff is still ‘one kain’ as it is. But rest assured every one penny is VERY welcome now

  3. oh SDK blog is going places. Today she did a school fees post. Bless her 🙂 when i read some of the comments below the posts, i feel so ungrateful for taking what i have for granted. I get sad as well when i think of muna’s death and how it could have been avoided had he voiced it out. i wish your friend speedy recovery. I pray God’s healing hand touches him 🙂

  4. I can’t say how surreal this is.
    I don’t know how much I should say but I just woke up from a dream where Proverbs 11:24 was involved.
    The way things are going, I’ll be sharing the complete story soon..

    All i’ll say is give..give..give..its kingdom IQ and the world can never understand it.
    Don’t just give out of abundance, give until it pains you..give even when you cry..yes, give when it’s the never goes to waste.

    Again, immediately I woke up from my dreams and saw “needs and seeds”, I clicked on this.
    Oh sweet Jesus!
    I won’t say this is strange, it just falls in with what I know God is really trying to explain to me..oh…

  5. This life is just based on giving,not everyone who smiles at you is actually fine.many need money or encouragement or a listening ear.i v a patient bp 210/150mmhg after all the medications 150/100mmhg. He told me his bp has never been properly controlled despite medications in he has gone to many hospitals.i jus asked a question?is there something you want to tell the time he was done I was beyond tears. But if you see the man.?goodlooking etc.we couldn’t even collect money for the treatments.God bless my MD. He’s a wonderful the bp had a non -organic cause which most docs may have overlooked.

      1. Dear Eziaha,
        Could you please send the account details to this email instead – unable to access that email box.

        1. Sweetie we lost him. Will mention in a blogpost later. So no need again. Thanks so much love. Except u don’t mind it going to his family cos we gave what we raised to them for all that they had put into his treatment

  6. so ever since the new year began..have practically had to use my faith for every single thing azzin! the fianances has just been soo blessed at times am tempted to complain..the flip side to this is that giving has been…sighs
    I had a goal for giving this year and have been on it..buh you know how it is when you sow your last card every sunday and you are like..when will this end.Gosh it’s been soo blessed for me.So when I read this post I was like “ooo..okay,this is what God has been trying to say”.Giving doesn’t have to be convenient..thats the major lesson I learnt form this post.Archiving it asap.God bless you mama.

  7. Kai! God is wonderful… an amount to someone have just been on my mind today especially as the pocket is so full till God lead me to my fav blog have bn forming busy for. True, giving shouldnt be convenient, just give. Thank you Eziaha

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