I think the comedy of Nigerians is of a special brand
I think the comedy of Nigerian Christians is of a SPECIAL special brand.

Nigerians IN NIGERIA are celebrating HALLOWEEN???

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Even Believers ooo!!!

Oooooh!!! * in my igbotic accent*
Ike gwuru…

What is Halloween please?

Ok this is actually funny and because the next thing I want to say will come out REAL HARSH, I would SHUT UP!!!

Not without saying PLEASE stop copying!!!
Just friggin’ STOP

Everything AMERICAN is NOT cool.

Like Halloween.

#weareNOTamericans
#weareCHRISTIANS!!!

And still speaking of which, I also cringe whenever I see a BELIEVER call herself
Aries chic
We CANCERIANS…
Leos are cool
Proudly Sagittarius…

And all such STUPID NONSENSE from the pit of hell!!!

Have you bothered to check the HISTORY of this nonsense before you jump on the bandwagon because IT SOUNDS COOL!!!

I am angry oooo!!! Very!!!

*infact, whipping out my Bro Paul hat*

Why are you bowing down to worship the stars!!!

Why so STUPID!!!

I was once stupid like you ooo. Yes if you have ever called yourself a SAGITTARIUS, YOU ARE/WERE STUPID!!! Back then in secondary school, I thought it was COOL. When I found out I was a ‘cancer chic’, ah, I started carrying horoscopes on my head.

I would check back and forth online about what would happen to me as a Cancerian this week/month/day, who I would meet, etc.

I even subscribed to one psychic Anita IN AMERICA who used to send various emails on what your star says.

Oh I was STUPID!!!

I would link everything that happened to me to what my stars say because…Cancer.

Then it got spiritual. I started having DREAMS of the psychic and all such scary things.

The Holy Spirit convicted me personally and I QUIT. I DELETED EVERYTHING and stopped associating my destiny with the stars. And moon.

And anita!!!

Because…EVERYTHING IS SPIRITUAL!!!

When I see believers put it up, I want to SHAKE them but then again, I unlook.

Till I got this devotional from my friend and brother Wale. Yup same guy I featured here

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He sends the most beautiful devotionals in story forms with deep lessons daily on bbm and also posts to Facebook and IG. Follow him @walejana

Please enjoy and be FOREVER CURED FROM YOUR STUPIDITY!!!

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When Ify was looking for a boyfriend she was always eager to know what month his birthday was so she could check his horoscope. She was born in late October so according to the horoscopes she was a Libra and according to the horoscope calendar, those who are born in late May (Gemini) do best with Libras so for the next five years of her life, the only kind of men she dated were Geminis. To her surprise, none of the relationships worked out well even though the horoscope had said she was most compatible with Geminis.

She saw many of her friends marry the wrong signs and get along properly. It was only after her most recent heartbreak that she turned to God and began to read her bible. She flipped her bible open one morning and her eyes went to Deuteronomy 4:19 (NLT) And when you look up into the sky and see the sun, moon, and stars–all the forces of heaven–don’t be seduced into worshiping them. The LORD your God gave them to all the peoples of the earth.

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Incase u think say na lie

Ify was shocked, she had no idea that a scripture like that existed. Ify had been a church goer all her life but she had been basing one of the most important decisions of her life on the constellation of the stars and the moon. She fell down on her knees and confessed her sins to God, she made up her mind that she would only base her decisions on what God said from that moment on. God honored Ify, 3 months later, she met the man of her dreams and his zodiac sign was totally wrong.

It has become a trend amongst Christians today to call themselves Aries, Saggitarius, Cancer, Leo, Taurus and all other names that God did not give them.  Beloved, you are practicing idol worship and God hates it!

The bible says God gave the moon, stars and all the constellation to serve us! Why are you reducing yourself to the shape of a bull and a crab or a lizard when God said He created you in His image! There is no bull or goat or crab in you, what you have in you is God!

God breathed himself in you that’s the dimension at which you operate!

It is one of the subtle strategies of the end time the devil is using to lure people from Gods plan for their lives. Wipe that “Aries Chic” or “Leo Boss” caption off your Instagram and replace it with “Son of the Most High” or “Zion Chic”.

You carry God in you! May you have the results of God and not the result of a goat in Jesus name.

#AGratefulHeart #IncreaseOnEverySide #ThankYouJesus

My 20 year dream is to see the Gospel preached to a billion people through the social media. You too can be a social media evangelist, kindly share and repost this Gospel of Jesus Christ so that others can be blessed just like you have been blessed. Thank you for reading. Shalom

Oh I just LOVE Wales devotionals and I am sooo proud to be associated with him and his lovely wife.

So please ehn, dear Believer, don’t be quick to jump on the bandwagon. The devil is crafty, subtle and STUPID!!!
Always let EVERYTHING you do PASS THE TEST OF THE WORD OF GOD!!!

I don’t believe I was once proud to say I AM CANCER!!!
I mean, see the name sef. If somebody has cancer now, it will look as if God is wicked meanwhile na you confess am die…

Excuse me while I go cry at how stupid I used to be…

God loves yawl like crazzzzyyy

E’

PS
This is a BONUS post. Just decided to run it today after I had a convo with my dear friend and sister Suzanne

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After my morning workout today

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Kill. FAT
I am working on THE SPIRIT OF SHUT UP pt 2 and I hope I publish it today. God is teaching me so much on it and if we tidy it up, I will publish. If not, happy November haha. I don try.

14 Responses

  1. Yipeeeeee she made a post…bin checking all morning for one (yes I look forward to the weekend bants and all posts sef). Am so happy you did this post because the truth just needs to be put out there. Why most Nigerians have decided to join the bandwagon still seriously baffles me. I mean this pple they try to copy have tons of good traits one can emulate but rather than copy that , it’s the bad , twisted and sick traits of theirs some Nigerians choose to copy. Do they even know what Halloween is really about or just some lies they made them believe about it, Hmmmmmm
    Lucky for me even as an unbeliever I just was never one to believe in signs , horoscopes and all. The whole thing just didn’t gel for me, little did I know that God was just sparing stress as usual.
    May God keep helping us all to discern the TRUTH at all times. Thanks for the post E’. God bless you…..Mwuahhhhh

  2. Thanks E’ for this wonderful post. You’ve just put it out there loud, clear and simple. I kinda used to envy all these zodiac crazzzy guyz, since I think I’m way too dull to understand or rather too lazy to find out how it works. Not that I don’t know me bday is scorpio abi na scorpion (warefa).

    Your message just increased my love for this lovely FavorBlessed Novemberbirthmonth. #Expectationsunlimitedunlocked #mumu2zodiaccontinua

    Thanks n God bless 3*1000 much

  3. Lovely post Eziaha.. I guess it’s not just Nigerians..
    Just a few minutes before I saw this post, my sister and I were talking about how silly it is that Ugandans are all prepped and ready to celebrate Halloween…
    Then I see this post, and I am just happy… Thanks for these words of wisdom. We need to know that the devil is one crafty fool and if we don’t open our eyes, we will become fools like him…

  4. Thank you for this……just hope they will stop at every western culture. Nigerian celebrating Halloween……can’t sink in.

  5. @ times I think that an overt dependence on the west for affirmation and a low self esteem are the scars of colonization we still need to deal with as a country. This issue is a mindset thing, that mindset that says EVERYTHING west is good and superior. Irrespective of some seemingly looking ‘one kin’ stuff they do, it’s that same mindset that says we ALWAYS need to be identified with the west one way or the other in other to remain relevant and as a country we will ALWAYS be second best to the west. Maybe, just maybe if we just have a healthy self respect for our own culture and values and maybe just a teeny weeny bit of faith in our country, things will be better.
    On zodiac signs, I think it’s jes asinine to run ya lifebased on horoscopes, i’m like seriouslly??
    Horoscope and zodiac signs???
    Nd then Halloween? Nitoriolorun halloween?????????
    No words. Mehn! No words.

  6. My thoughts exactly. Used to pride myself as a cool Libra chick, until the Holy Spirit erased all such silliness from my head! Thank God for His mercies!

    My sister-in-law wrote a post about the origin of Halloween on her blog, Life, Love & Anything Goes. Scary stuff which most pple who celebrate Halloween don’t know. Check it out.

    I shared this on my fb wall. Hope it’s okay?

    1. Lolzzzzzzzz….hehehehehehe. Omg! Eyo festival indeed! This comment has cracked me up. I hv forgotten what I wanted to writeoooo.

  7. I love you.. I will be sharing this with my Aries Chic’s in Uganda..
    I want to inspire people with God’s word through writing..
    You nailed this one
    Iam a fan
    Halloween who?

  8. I don’t know why I have never believed in the star signs of cancer,Leo,n all the other nonsense.it never really made sense to me.I just wondered if any body had the right to predict any one’s future using stars.for me it was even worse when I checked mine n it was cancer,I knew it was stupid because I always knew from small that anything cancer was not good at all n only spelt doom.As for Halloween I wished people really knew the origin.if only Nigerian can learn to be original and stop copying rubbish the world will be a better place.I wonder why Nigerians have the craze to always want to copy the white people even when they are wrong.Believing in God Almighty and having his peace is d best thing that can ever happen to anyone.nice writeup.

  9. An old proverb says, “When you sup with the devil, use a long spoon.” Presumably, NO genuine Christian would want to sup with the devil at all and yet many may be doing so in ignorance.
    Participating in Halloween gives sanction to a holiday that promotes witches, divination, haunted houses, and other occultic practices. Nobody wants to be involved in such but trust some ‘stupid’ Nigerians not to make research before ‘copying’… as usual. Setting aside a day to celebrate evil, darkness, witchcraft, fear, death and the demonic brings disdain to God. Period. A Christian celebrating Halloween would be like a Satan worshiper putting up a nativity scene at Christmas while singing, “Happy Birthday, Jesus!” The two just don’t go together. Jesus has nothing in common with Satan (2 Corinthians 6:14), and neither should we. So ppl shld stop justifying why it is fine to celebrate this demonic, worldly, evil holiday. There are no muddled lines or gray areas about it. A committed follower of Jesus Christ should not celebrate Halloween. Pomkwem.
    Then for the stars…hmmmm…. Most of us, particularly those of us that did not grow up in church, have read horoscopes at one time or another. I can remember growing up as a teenager in secondary school, I followed the horoscope. At that time internet was not as prominent as it is today, but horoscopes could be found in every local daily newspaper. I was born under the sign of Gemini and I used to look at what the daily horoscopes said that was predicted for me every day. For me they became known as the “horror-scopes” because I almost always dreaded reading what I believed to be my future. I could not have been more wrong. The problem with horoscopes is that they are all so general that they could apply to almost anyone born at any time of the year but I still believed that there was some relevance to them. Even today I hear people ask what sign they are with the intent of finding out what type of person they are or if a couple are compatible or not. God condemns the use of astrology and horoscopes for many reasons. For one thing, God alone knows the future. We have no business trying to divine what God has not clearly revealed in His Word. Deuteronomy 29:29 says “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.” What has God revealed to us? He has revealed His will to us in the Word of God the Bible. We have no business in trying to divine or predict the unknown future. That is God‘s prerogative, not ours.
    Nice one E’. Im reading your posts one at time 😀

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