So what inspired this post?
I was talking to a, well acquaintance, a few days back. She had actually asked me about my short term plans (say 5years) and stuff, and I went on and on… where I would like to work, what kinda job I would love to do, etc. And then she said something I found very disturbing. It went something like ‘…well you can afford to plan your life and all because you have found ‘THE ONE’. Me I am still searching and so I cannot afford to have plans yet because when I get hooked and married, my husband will change it all… So I don’t even make any futuristic plans, I just live each day as it comes till I find ‘THE ONE’ and then I can start making plans for my life…’
Disturbing yeah?
Roger that!!!
Don’t mind my ‘roger that’ jare. I just saw the movie ‘Last flight to Abuja’, which was STELLAR by the way. Reminded me why I loved Omotola, (beyond her having a managing a home and career, at least to the best of my knowledge) and how beautiful she is…
Ok back to this story. I will just call her O*
I couldn’t say so much to O because she was pretty convinced about her stance and it would take some time explaining what I am writing here, and I had little time to spare then. So I said I will do a post with her story and have her read it…
Speaking of stories, someone wanted to ask me something on BB and changed her mind because she said that I would use her question and do a blog post… well sugar, I did find a way to bring this in here so feel free to feel justified.
Ok back to the story of E’ and O… for the second time hehehe
Ladies, please listen to me… Men too, if this applies… You can NOT put your life on PAUSE MODE waiting for a man biko nu. WHAT’S THAT???!!! That is definitely NOT how to spend your FEW single years. So what should you do while you are waiting, especially if you are done with your first degree and all…?
1. Get a (Career/business)LIFE. I am of the strong opinion that you most likely will meet THE ONE while you are living that life… feel free to DREAM big and start taking baby steps towards achieving them, Newsflash ladies, guys these days don’t want no liability yo!!! If I were a guy, I would NOT too. A purposeful woman is always MORE ATTRACTIVE. Learnt that from my darling PASTOR BIMBO, bless her sweet soul. If you need to go ahead and do something to better your career chances, please do. If you need to relocate and you are sure God would have you, please do. A second or third degree, please enjoy… While you are waiting. And don’t worry that guys would be intimidated by you. The kinda guy that would be intimidated by your success story and life is the sort of man you should NOT be even remotely interested in. These days I think many more real men are the ones encouraging their partners to be the very best they can be. And you need a real man… So soar baby…
2. Get a SOCIAL LIFE… Oh please by all mean socialize. Do plenty sleepovers and girls night outs. Travel to as many countries and states that you can, just because… Have cinema and beach dates. Catch up with your friends. Visit. Babysit. Attend and/or host bridal and baby showers. Take that dance/french/drama/whatever class. Oh btw, how did I miss EAT INDOMIE now while you can… You can’t be asking me if eating indomie is a SOCIAL thing. Please it is, for me. 😛
3. Be active in your local church. Go on retreats and all nights. Attend all the programs you can in church, not only relationship programs. Please join and be active in units mehn… This is the time to go for outreach, evangelism and follow up. This is the time. I can’t over emphasize that ooo. Not that you would NOT have time anymore when you are married oo, Just that you have more time now as a single lady. So rock church baby…
4. Just enjoy being single. Enjoy having an opportunity to sleep alone. To come back and eat indomie all alone, without any body wanting to eat pounded yam. To just get up and go, no permission needed or solicited. To just be… Be free and happy.
5. PRAY and keep your confessions straight. Sweetheart, he that will come will come and not tarry. Our God is so faithful. Don’t let the society or your parents or friends pressure you into making the wrong and hasty decisions. Remember, they will NOT live with you. Neither will they suffer with you if you are not enjoying your marriage. BE WISE. Like my Rev would say, COMPLETE and FINISHED are not always synonyms. They can be antonyms too. If you marry the right person, you are COMPLETE, if you marry the wrong person, you are FINISHED. And like my Pastor Mildred Kingsley Okonkwo always advices single ladies, PLEASE MARRY WELL OOO.
Feel free to add more in the comments section. I think that’s all from me for now.
I am single too. I am NOT telling you stuff I do not do or have not done. At least most of it I do. Or did in time past.
Being in a relationship WITH THE RIGHT PERSON is like heaven on earth. I imagine marriage is even better. But singlehood is NOT a disease. For you to be properly cleaved, you need to enjoy being single… and not lonely, or stagnated in life.
Singlehood rocks!!! Please ROCK IT. And single ladies ROCK too.
Cheers, to all my single ladies only who are living life to the max, or now intend to…
When women worship is coming up soon. Do well to attend. Search for the post on MY LOVE FOR WOMEN for details.
Nothing 🙂

17 Responses

  1. I think you missed her point. She made a very valid point. You can make plans 5 years down the line, but when you get married, the rules get thrown out. Everything changes. I am a good example. Was working in Lagos in a huge law firm, had a set goal of what I wanted to do. Then my fiance now husband got a job in the middle east. It was devastating because not only was I going to be far from my family, my law degree is practically useless here because we have different laws. I got here and the only job I am told that I can get is teaching. I am not a big fan of bratty kids, so teaching has never appealed to me. Ever! So, all my old plans, all the things I wanted to do and accomplish has changed. Its quite irritating because I already have a masters, so I don’t even have a reason to go back to school.

    So, I get O’s point. She does not want to make plans because she realises how quickly it will change when you get married and start having kids. I think It is a wise move on her point as long as she doesn’t keep her life on hold. Nothing wrong in making short terms goals or living each day as it comes.

    1. No hera sweerie I don’t agree
      I believe you two should have sat and discussed your options before you up and leave.
      So given that background, I don’t think you should complain since you moved
      Like some said, pray for divine direction. Let God guide you.
      Plus O was NOT making short term goals. She was leaving each day as it comes waiting for the one. Maybe I didn’t make it clear enough.
      What if ‘he ‘ doesn’t show up for another 5years?
      Oh I just read that u don’t see anytin bad in living each day as it comes.
      Well, to each her own…
      Whatever works for you mehn:)
      But please, do something ooo. So you don’t get frustrated later
      Cheers love and thanks for dropping by

  2. Sweety U are S̶̲̥̅ơ̴̴̴͡ on point, when you’re single and living a purposeful life it is less likely that a man without goals and plans for his life will come your way, another plus is that there’s less time for U to be depressed abt not having found the one when you’re busy. I’m (totally) single and rocking it jare. Thanx love, you’re always S̶̲̥̅ơ̴̴̴͡ insightful.

  3. Hera I get ur point but even for the unmarried, plans can change suddenly. U might have laid down ur plans and God already has a different path for U, its pretty obvious that ur own plans will have to shift. I’m very sure God has a reason for taking U both to the middle east, relax and allow him work his purpose out.

  4. Aha! Coming back home and eating what you want 🙂 BLISS! Finally someone shares same views with me. Single ladies(we) need to place high value on ‘us’. It’s a time to enjoy fellowship with God yo! It’s also a time to develop christian character that will help prepare you for life with your partner. And yes indeed r/ship with the right person is wonderful.
    @hera..u can do something else aside practising law..ex a business for yourself.allow the holyspirit guide you!

    1. Looks like something I am very interested in reading. And fast mehn!!!
      First thing I’ll do the moment I get on my laptop.
      Thanks sisiblu

  5. The major commment I have is to say i agree with you Eziaha: 101%.
    I laughed when i saw this ”Enjoy having an opportunity to sleep alone. To come back and eat indomie all alone, without any body wanting to eat pounded yam. To just get up and go, no permission needed or solicited. To just be… Be free and happy.”

    I am married now to the most wonderful husband *praise God*, actually got married when i was over 30 and by then most of my friends had children in primary school.
    But you know what, i enjoyed my singlehood with my God of course, no regrets. I cant imagine studying for my masters now with my two beautiful children seeking my attention or even contemplate working in a bank now. I had a beautiful career in banking and studied for my masters abroad whilst being single.
    I joined church groups o and enjoyed church activities whilst abroad too; forget that they say only old peeps go to church abroad (this was UK btw).
    So any single woman putting her life on hold waiting for a man, please rethink.
    Yes, you may have a degree + masters now that you think may not be useful when you get married as your husband may be resident in Timbuctoo(is there a place like that?) But hey, in a few years, maybe after having your kids and nurturing them the GOD-grace way, you may both relocate to Nigeria with your family and that degree +masters will be an added advantage.
    My God never makes mistakes ooo, it may take a while but in the long run, you’d see the reason why if only you trust HIM and praise Him not complain.

    Muah muah muah Eziaha.
    Big hug,

    1. You are sooo on point nwanne…
      Spot on baby!!!
      You are my living example for this post. It was written from my head but mehn, you made this come alive. You lived a max single life. God always has a plan. A master plan yo!!!
      And what u said in response to d Lady is so great. God makes no mistakes.
      I’m so proud of you mami… And I can’t wait to meet ya. I’ll be honored to…
      Bigger hug my dear
      And kisses to your sweeties

  6. I got some audios frm my sista by Pastor K n it ws reali inspirin. It ws while I ws googling 2 knw more abt his ministry dt I saw ur blog. I followd and I’ve also bin readin previous blogs nd its bin inspiring & refreshin. How can i reach u aside thru ur blog? Welldone!

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