Phew… This CURFEW thing…

On Wednesday, which was day one of the PUTTING YOUR FAITH TO WORK program in DCC, I was walking on water as I came home. I had never felt that way before… It was not about the message, though PK preached a classic on faith too. But something else made me float mehn!!!

It was the fact that I was returning home from church and I was in ABSOLUTELY NO HURRY to get home.

People of God, this doesn’t happen often ooo…

I grew up living with my sister. I moved well into my parent’s house on graduation. Like most parents African parents are, once you still live with em, you gotta be home early, irrespective of where you went to. Infact, church is the WORST excuse. In my house, early means when you can still take a clear picture outside without a flash… *insert very straight and angry face* My sis on the other hand understands all my church ish and all so she doesn’t even have your time, if you like come back the next two days. Plus she trusts me mehn… I am a responsible young woman.

Now the deal is, church is closer to my parents’ house and church closes at a time when you can develop a negative into a picture…

So every time I have to go to church and return to my parents, I leave immediately after the word. Especially if PK really goes on and on. And fly home to make 9pm. Well, that’s my curfew. It is not like they have ever said that sha but tz kinda unwritten.

Some days I do strong head and come in really late and be ready for a lashing… LOL. My dad goes on and on and on about Lagos NOT being safe and stuff and he adds very gory stories for effect. You see, my dad reads the newspapers a lot. He has a valid point sha but in Lagos, you can be robbed AT ANY TIME… So you better depend on divine protection. Plus sometimes it is inevitable to return late sometimes, whether in Lagos or Makurdi… throw in the fact that I am the nwa e ji n’aka and you know just great it is…   That is LAST CHILD in Igbo…

I still live with my sister though but like I said, church makes this option easier.

So why was I floating this last week? People of the almighty God, my parents travelled. So I could come in at any time T. It felt surreal NOT rushing home. I mean, I stayed back to chat with my Abuja visiting people, I even waited for my Minister who said he wanted to see me. I didn’t even hurry home, I took my time. I even stopped by at the gym to see my instructor. I must have gotten in at about 10pm…

#S.H.E.E.R.B.L.I.S.S#

You needed to have heard how dramatic I was when I was gisting ‘le boo’. Of course I started with my classic ‘THIS LIFE EH’ hehehehe

I was really happy.

Recall that I said I had a friend coming over to visit with me Tuesday last week… She said she would come at the close of work, at about 5pm. My first question was ‘When will you now leave and when will you get home?’ Victoria Island to Ikeja is not a stone throw ooo. Well she finally left at PAST 9… I envied her to the end of the world and back. Her own is that she went to work and had to stay back till traffic subsides before going home to her parents. End of discussion.

One of my dearest friends recently got an 8PM curfew… When she told me, I went through ALL the emotions. She is a CHURCH girl mehn. HOD of children’s church, and member of several other groups. And you know meetings hold at night usually cos most church workers also have to go to work. In my unit for example, meetings start at 7pm…

I miss school, lie no good. In school, I could come in at ANYTIME mehn. My life was my own. As my church commitments increased, I moved out of the school hostel to a private one close to church in Agbowo. I had the liberty to be in ALL the church units AT THE SAME TIME… I recall leaving for drama all night rehearsals at 11pm. Church was the next street. By then, the crew would have to come and pick me from a few kilometers because they would all be worried as to how I could decide to walk alone in the notorious AGBOWO by that time. Gosh I was mega daring!!! Speaking of notorious, once I was attacked. I remember gisting with one of my most LOYAL persons lizzie and saying a lot of ‘This life eh… Abeg we will not say we are students and NOT enjoy lif LOLe’ and then we decided to go and buy chicken suya from right choice at about 10pm. ‘Right choice’ is around the corner so it was no biggie. I went with my blackberry. I was having this interesting discussion with Fr. Patrick I didn’t wanna stop. So I was walking and chatting. Terrible habit. Please don’t try it ooo. Going to buy the suya had no drama but coming back, as I negotiated the bend just opposite First bank, someone attacked me from behind and was hitting me. Meanwhile, my phone had rang and I did well NOT to answer it and even stop texting. So the phone was firmly in my hand and I recall saying ‘…before someone snatches my phone’ when the person attacked. If I was receiving a call or texting, he would have snatched it and run. So he attacked me, was hitting me and saying ‘LEAVE THE PHONE’ or something like that. I was too stunned and my first reaction was to tighten my grip. The guy was hitting me hard and at some point, bit my wrist. Dude was super desperate ooo. Well so was I. Releasing the phone was outta it mehn. Funny thing was that I didn’t even say a word. I was in too much shock. Then at some point, I screamed IN JESUS NAME and then we both fell INTO THE MAIN ROAD!!! That point, my fear was about oncoming vehicles. But my scream attracted some guy who had just walked past before I was attacked and he turned and ran back to help me. Then just like a movie, Nollywood style, a bike drove towards us, the thief got up, mounted it and they sped off. It was all planned…

Kai!!!

I got up and that was when Lizzie found her voice, she too was shocked. The whole thing didn’t last more than a minute. My wrist was hurting mehn, and his teeth marks showed on my hand. But my phone was still with me. I am a GIDI BABE please…

Now the crazy thing was that before I got back to my hostel, someone in school had started calling to find out how I was doing. How he knew beats me. I made the HUGE mistake of telling my mom. I am so sparing you details.

Recently, Friday last week, at about 7am on her way to work, my friend Clara* was attacked. My girl played Jackie Chan ooo. She dealt him blow for blow including one to his groin area. Omo, the guy dropped her bag and phone he had taken and run to treat himself I guess. Hehehe. 7am ooo. When it is already bright.

Thank God for great mercies ooo.

So you see why our parents make such a fuss… People of the world be getting desperate mehn…

I gotta stop walking at night yo!!!

But I also gotta move outta the house like real soon cos sometimes, you gotta first move out BEFORE any respect happens… I gotta move out like real fast dear Jehovah…

8am curfew please? My girlfriend stopped going for midweek service. There was no point. Because she would have to leave church at 7.30 pm to make it home at or before 8pm…

You see why Abuja held so much appeal for me… I would have been free to sleep in church if I wanted.

Tz well.

By the way, I love my parents’ ooo. Especially my momma. She has a lotta drama that I love, when we are NOT fighting LOL. But they OVER LOVE me mehn. They did a great job giving me roots, but they are having a hard time giving me WINGS…

Cheers to a FABtastic YOU…

And happy children’s day to ALL the adults who are still treated like kids and get curfews…

We plenty mehn!!! hehehehe

Muah