I heard her say it a lot, and I wondered, not just what she meant by it, but why she had to use the term ‘Permission’. It was one of my heroes, Lisa Bevere, and this was in her MOMS OF BOYS course, which she did along side Havillah Cunnington. I would later learn that sometimes, we know what RIGHT THING to do, but we are either too timid, or subdued to do it, fearing negative feedback, backlash, or sticking out too much like a sore thumb, and so we need someone, usually someone further down the road than us, to give us PERMISSION to JUST DO IT!!!
Permit me to give you FIVE permissions to live your BEST LIFE in this post.
Welcome to another blog post and this one is dripping with goodness. If you learn something, or have something to add or share that would bless other women like you reading this blog, you are welcome to comment, and hey, know any one who needs to read this? Share with them too. Permission granted.
Ok, lets move
5 permissions we all need to live our BEST lives
First, I want to say that a life of stress, overwhelm, burnout, is the exact opposite of your BEST LIFE, and what usually leads to those would be a real gap between where you currently are, and where you know you should be. The wider the gap, the wider your frustrations, and it doesn’t really pay anyone, not even you.
Which is why I am doing this post; to open up your eyes to unnecessary stressors in your life, give you permission to eliminate or reduce them, and as we all do, we will keep reducing that gap until we are permanently living in the BEST LIFE avenue, where the Mathew 11 code is how we roll.
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”(Matthew 11 v 28-30 MSG)
- Permission to say NO
A huge one! Many Saints don’t know how to say NO to the good stuff, so that they can focus on the BEST things done at the right time. Let me give an example; a few months ago, I was approached by someone in Church to volunteer in a unit where my writing skills would be needed. I wanted to do it, but my life was in a FULL FUNK, with burn out looming, I turned it down, regrettably.
When I came out of that FUNK mode, with some margin and more systems in place, I went back and asked if I could do it, and thankfully, that position was still open. I said NO then, even if I came back later to say a YES. In some instances, the NO is a permanent one, and it is OK. For instance, I am currently in the throes of planning an event for stay at home moms.
And I had a friend in mind to be a part of the panel. While it was a great opportunity for her, she had to turn me down. because the timing and location didn’t favor her, being a mommy without a domestic help plus school runs and all, and I LOVED and thanked her for that.
Say your BEST NO responsibly, with grace, and respect when you have to, and then stay out of their heads without wondering what they think of you.
2. Permission to set your sleep, waking and work hours.
Now obviously, this won’t apply to everyone because some of us work for other people and don’t have that level of autonomy. And in fact, this is for HIGHLY RESPONSIBLE Saints. But where you do, and are a responsible steward of your time, energy, and focus, without neglecting the things you signed up to show up for, then feel free to set those times, as it favors you optimally.
I like a term called ROWE which is where I know the future of work is going…
RESULTS ONLY WORK ENVIRONMENT
Meaning that we don’t care how you work, where you work from and the timings you work, so long as you bring the results we hired you for.
So if you choose to work from 2am to 5am, and can deliver results as at when due, so that you can sleep 9am to 2pm, then go for it.
Like I said, this is for responsible people, so don’t be an irresponsible person and say ‘Eziaha said…’
If you would like, I did a video on 5 reasons I think some people need to sleep for 8 hours, and why I don’t. One of the points will give weight to permission 2.
5 reasons to sleep for 8 hours (and 2 reasons why I don’t). It’s a 10 minute video I trust will be worth your precious time.
3. Permission to REDUCE
Gosh, we live and lead such heavy lives. We are on all social media platforms, and should a new one, which honestly is redundant to you, come out tomorrow, we download it too. We have such fear of missing out that we over burden our minds and even bodies.
Too many clothes and shoes
Too many programs to attend
Too many meetings and groups
Too many social media accounts and apps
Little wonder some of us journey so slow through life; we are OVER BURDENED.
Well Saint, let me give you permission to REDUCE. You don’t need too many of anything, or multiples of everything. Look at your life and determine what you REALLY need, then JOYFULLY REDUCE and ELIMINATE the rest.
Trust me, you won’t miss it. You won’t even notice it is done.
Then set a SYSTEM around purchases, downloads, and entrances, especially technology, so that it doesn’t consume you.
I did a video on that too and watch it so we can JOYFULLY miss out together
5 ways to Embrace the Joy of Missing Out. This particular video is under 10 minutes too, so you wanna check it out.
4. Permission to not COPY
While I am here for inspiration and influence, we must all keep and use the permission to do different when our lives and seasons demand it.
Yes it worked for your mentor, and she probably even told you to do it, but you know it wont work for you. Then respectfully explain why and decline.
Yes, you read it from my blog (or in a best selling book) but hey, my life is not yours, so feel free to decline that action while learning the PRINCIPLES which can lead you to your own winning action.
And if anyone wants you to keep apeing their lives, please you have permission to start to step away from that relationship, with maturity and honor still.
I have a brand new YT video on same and I share 5 times where I have copied (or almost copied) and it didn’t turn out well.
5 Times I’ve Copied. Whoosh, it does packs some insight. All in 10 minutes.
5. Permission to TECH SHABBAT
And by which I mean have days, or extended hours when you are offline and unavailable (easily). We were not created to be ON and ONLINE 24/7. It is causing so much stress in our lives and especially mental health, so give yourself permission to put away the phone, and your online life, so you can live your REAL offline life, and connect with those in your physical space, like your family and especially children. And also spend time, prolonged uninterrupted time, with JESUS.
Phone and gadget addictions are real, so we must be careful to allow for systems that allow us to SHABBAT
I ,personally, have set up my life in such a way that Mondays are my official Shabbat. I am literally unreachable, and from time to time, I take personal retreats too.
In 9 minutes, I share my 5 tips to winning in your personal retreat here.
Ok, there you have it. Five permissions to enable you live your best life, and while this is NOT EXHAUSTIVE, I daresay it is a great way to start.
Don’t forget to check out the YouTube videos too, which are all 10mins or less, and I want to invite you to join the BEST LIFE family by subscribing to my channel here on YouTube.
Drop a comment and share your thoughts on this blog here too
Cheers to our BEST LIVES
Your fellow Saint and Sister
PS; Come December 9th, I’ll be hosting an event for 700 stay-at-home moms. Find more details here
And if you’re looking to feed your kids in a healthy way and set them up for great health, ‘A BETTER LEGACY’ program is exactly what you need.
My latest YT video is all about 5 swallow options to have and enjoy as part of your Fitfam. Watch the 7 minute video here.
Also, we have a new blog on 5 Fitfam foods to enjoy.