(Hint: It’s EASIER than YOU expected!)
This year, I watched THIS video by Priscilla Shirer where she shared wisdom on how to do a Bible Study and at the end, there were Q’s and the very last one asked about how she transitioned into this global success that she is today, especially from those days of leading small bible studies of 20plus women for years in campuses and without the spotlight.
Her answer made me remember this video I had seen maybe now 6 or 7 years ago by Heather Lindsey on What’s the formula!
6 years apart, similar answers and I can absolutely relate with both answers, which was
THERE IS NO FORMULA!
Now keep reading for the ‘no-formula’ formula that continue to help Shirer, Heather and Eziaha!
June 29, 2023, I turned 37. If you know me, you know I fuss about birthdays. I don’t even need anyone to fuss for or over me, I fuss well over me and make every year count, by God’s grace.
This year, we did a WHOLE THING!
8 of my Sister-Friends went away to Lakowe Resorts for a 3 day WKND retreat, completely PHONE-FREE.
My friends came from Lagos, Port-harcourt, Kaduna and Ghana!
It was an UNBELIEVABLE three days! I won’t forget it ever!
One day after my birthday, in the WILD, a Praying group I lead, we had our final meeting for the first half of the year, and there, I cast a new vision for the new WILD 2.0. Of course, I cannot go into details here but it was one of the FINEST moments of my leadership in the WILD!
What God is doing IN me and then through me in the WILD, right alongside the INCREDIBLE women I get to lead and serve with, is UNBELIEVABLE!
Pure faith based, volunteer-led sistership and yet has a solid structure and system, plus absolutely dedicated leaders and sisters with results to boot! Gosh!
This year, we are TEN years in marriage! Without mincing words, I can say that my marriage is WORKING, my husband is truly my BEST FRIEND, and my HOME is the BEST place we all want to be. We are building a family of my dreams, and most importantly, with God’s template.
I once read Carey Nieuwhof say how his biggest goal is that those who know him the most love him the most and speak the best of him. That’s such a huge goal, especially for public figures, because what is usually the case is that they are winning outside the home and all their fans and followers think BETTER of them than their family do. Sad, but true. I made that my goal too, and my goodness I worked hard at it, with the help of the Holy Spirit. I can tell you that no matter the accolades I get out there, my husband thinks the HIGHEST of me, and not only repeatedly says it, he also expressly supports me, and keeps thinking of ways to make my life better.
So, I highlighted these three areas of my life (Sister-friendships, Ministry and Family) because I get questioned on all 3 a lot, as people want to know what I am doing to get such amazing results there!
Eziaha, what’s the formula?
How come you have such amazing friends?
How is your marriage working?
How did you build this WILD structure?
Ok, here’s my ‘no-formula’ formula!
1. Who sets my SUCCESS METRICS?
This is so foundational because a lot of times, we mistake what the world sees as successful is just frankly foolish. I allow God set my success metrics and I follow it with a BLINDING FOCUS!
The WILD for example, in 2020 we were over 150. Today in 2023, we are 90.
By worldly standards, we regressed, but by God’s standard, we are marching on and stronger. 2020 was a 5 and 2023 is a 10!
So while someone may be looking to increase to the 1000s, I am constantly pruning to keep us at what I consider the right number for us.
So please figure out what God calls success and work towards it!
2. No ABUSE!
Gosh, another key formula!
ABUSE is when we use the right thing for the wrong purpose. This especially works for my sister-friendships and I can tell you that this is one I work so hard at and fail quite a bit at but pick myself up again!
I stick with the purpose of each friendship once I have it defined for me by God and in discerning prayers!
There are friends I roll with when it comes to vision and purpose but we don’t talk about family in-depth, and vice versa
Some friends I can connect with on emotional matters, but when it comes to spiritual stuff in-depth, we don’t vibe AND IT IS OK!
There are friends I pray with and don’t know some deeply personal stuff about me.
Some friends get me when it comes to career and/or leadership, but when I need someone to hang out with, I don’t call them!
In doing this, I don’t put pressure on or overwhelm any friendship.
Of course these lines are NOT tidy as some things spill here and there but I make sure the main purpose stays the main purpose! And underlying all these would be that all my friends are born again and mature, please, and even when transitions (of use and purpose) happen, I do my best to steward it with honor and respect!
And there are times I have made mistakes, but you BEST believe that once I see my error/foolishness, I am humble enough to start the process to correct it even when it means admitting my wrong and genuinely apologizing!
I also truly and genuinely make room for my friends! But frankly, this blog is NOT even for all those details. The third point would have been the ONLY answer I would have shared on this blog, but I just felt a need to add the first two as foundational.
Now read the THIRD with all your heart, mind and soul…
3. Be faithful, with little!
Oh this one is HUGE! And that was the crux of what Priscilla and Heather said…
Without thinking of the BIG STAGES and when we will BLOW, when we have XYZ, when our group has at least 50 women, when our husbands start to behave better, when my kids are at least 7, when I have good friends like Eziaha, when I can buy 2 study Bibles, when I get more money, when I can afford to go on retreats, when we move out of this estate, and so on!
Sisters, with whatever we have NOW, and wherever we are NOW, we CAN and MUST BE FAITHFUL!
Faithful with little and much scripture
Gosh, I wish everyone would learn and imbibe this because what this means is that you are NOT disadvantaged in any form. Nothing disqualifies you. You qualify, right where you are.
When the WILD started for example, we had no structure and no agenda. I just wanted to PRAY and so I asked a few sisters willing to join me, and every Friday, I showed up to lead. Nothing structures, or fancy. Just showing up, and then growing and diversifying as led by Go. Today, we give in millions but then, giving was not even part of what we did. I started asking for charitable donations only when led by God. I had NO leadership structure, I just had my EA who came to do some admin work as we progressed. Today we have TEN leaders and THREE pathways that just make serving so beautiful and effective!
With my marriage, I put in so much work from where I was and without waiting for my husband. Of course, I have to state that I married a good man so…. As God showed me adjustments to make, I made them, prayers to pray, I prayed them, areas to submit, I did!
Same with my parenting; with whatever money we had, I made it work. When all I could afford was buses, I made sure I used buses to get my goals going. When we could afford cabs, I made adjustments. Now its different and I keep making it work for me. When we could not afford to go outside the home for any kind of vacation, I made the home a vacation spot, and now we can afford more, I make it still work!
I don’t let what I don’t have stop me, instead I let what I have work for me!
Same with my spiritual life; when all I had was the internet and my Joyce Meyer Bible, I made it work well. As I could afford more Bibles and spiritual resources, I kept firing!
When I had babies and time became limited, I still did what I could to keep my fire going.
Same with my content creation; YouTube for example, I started real small, just my phone and nothing fancy. And frankly, I really cannot wait to invest more resources into my shooting process especially per a professional team, but all I have now is a more professional device, light a few backdrops, and an Editor, and you best believe that I stay faithful with that, until my big break comes.
Same with my friendships, I truly believe that faithfulness with little has gotten me so much amazing friends and sisters now. When all I could do was phone calls, I called. When I could go visit, I did! When I could do sleepovers, I did! When we could travel together, I did. I wasn’t always waiting for more time or more financial buoyancy to invest in my friendships. When all I could do was pray, I would pray. When I could also give financially, I did.
Long and short, sisters, is that there is really no planned formula to this thing!
When God sees you FAITHFUL and CONSISTENT with where you are, and whatever little you have, He brings us more.
But if we keep waiting for X to play our part, then we will keep waiting.
So darling Sister, the formula is FAITHFULNESS!
Lets be faithful where we are and with what we have
Let us not let what we do not have stop us, instead let’s let what we have PROPEL us.
There is always something you can be doing NOW!
Take you eyes off someone else’s race, especially if they are further ahead than you, and be faithful to yours.
And one last thing, enjoy the ride!
God bless you!
Love and Prayers,
On my other blog stayhomemoms.ng I just published a new post where I share my kiddos wins in the just concluded academic school year and how we made it happen. It’s all HERE
In this video on my Youtube I share the only goal we need to set regarding our health so our results can last for the long term. You’ll wanna check it out.