NB; This post was first published February 2021.
This post really comes from something I have been working out in my life especially in recent times, especially as I walk through what really is an INTENSE season, which frankly, I am not trying to make anyone understand, or seek human support above what is necessary.
I take JOY and STRENGTH in the JOY and PRIZE set before me and I endure these hardships, fight like crazy, submit to a process of becoming a more mature SON of God, pass every test thrown my way, (and when I fail some, I make sure to pass it next time it rolls around), keep my JOY fiercely no matter what, and ENJOY my LIFE.
See this my BEST LIFE, I will NEVER stop living it.
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Ok, rabbit trail over, back to my personal story that inspired this blog.
Like yawl KNOW, I have literally 10,000 teachers. That post on this blog remains one of the most popular
10,000 TEACHERS GUYS…STAY HUNGRY! LEAN IN!! GO HARD!!!
Even though I wrote it 5 years ago, it is still VERY RELEVANT today, even to me. I still stalk my teachers’ online, stay in their slipstream, lean in and glean as much as I can, however, I never let myself be inspired or motivated out of purpose, which is what some of us do that causes ‘wahala‘.
I will use a very mundane example but it helps my point. Domestic Life.
There are about 4 women in my life, I really lean into as teachers and mentors.
Christine Caine
Pastor Mildred
PDDK
Heather Lindsey
Christine Caine is a NO-KITCHEN chick. In fact, she is hardly domesticated and probably has rarely been in her marriage. She said that one time they asked her kids in school what dishes her mom loves to make the most, and her daughter replied ‘reservations’ lol.
She loves to make reservations in restaurants so they dine out, as she is not a kitchen or domestic chick at all.
She hardly has time to be involved in school activities, never even thought about homeschooling, yet she is a GREAT mom and her kids, now well into teenage years, love the Lord and are excited about the things and house of God
Christine Caine and her daughters
Her marriage is thriving and her home is working.
That is Chris
Heather Lindsey on the other hand is the EXACT opposite. She is literally my Proverbs 31 woman model. She is right in the trenches of all things domestic… cooking, cleaning, and she even home schooled at first.
I joke that if Heather could make the water her family drinks, she would make it. In fact it was a comment I dropped on her IG when I had an IG and she replied and said ‘I was right’.
She is happy to cook 4 HEALTHY meals daily, since she is vegan and her hubby and some of her kids aren’t.
She is involved in their academic life, literally just carries her kids on her head, and more.
Oh, I love her and that part of her life. She doesn’t just let anyone into her home and prefers to do as much as she can for her kids, hardly outsourcing some things she has made room in her life to handle. She literally SERVES her family and has a ball doing it
Pastor Mildred is different from Chris and Heather. To the best of my knowledge (which is limited so don’t quote me, and mama if you are reading this, forgive me haha).
She is certainly not as ‘undomesticated’ as Chris, but not as domesticated as Heather. Because I am not 100% sure of the rest of the things I want to say, I would rather not say them, but I know she is somewhere in the middle.
PDDK is also in the middle, but I would say she tilts a little more towards Heather.
I recently watched an interview on YT with her and her Pastors, the Osunmakindes, and she mentioned how even though she has help and all, she has two days where she takes over her kitchen just so she is still involved and can directly serve her family. I know she invests more, in terms of quantity, time with her kids.
Now, all these women have FULL lives, especially in ministry, have thriving homes and marriages, and are a model to me, personally. I love to lean into and even stalk them, finding what wisdom I can apply from them to my own life, and indeed, I have picked from each of them.
HOWEVER, I never ever follow blindly.
If I were to hear these women talk about devotion to housework and domestic, they would sing different tunes, which of course works for them.
For instance, I have heard CC say how she wonders what cooking and being available at every game of her kids can do for them, implying that it is not that important to her.
Do I agree with her?
Yes, but for her own life and assignment.
Will I be doing that in my life?
NO!!!
But you won’t find me being a ‘keyboard thug’ online and countering her. That is what works for her AND there are women who are in the same ‘heritage’ as CC who NEED to hear that and apply. But, I won’t let what my very own HERO says motivate me AWAY FROM MY OWN PURPOSE in this season.
Do I have TWO DAYS like PDDK where I dedicate to being in the kitchen, and have a chef come in to cook weekly?
NO!!!
Every day, I am the chef, the cleaner, the homework doer, the question answerer, the everything at home.
I PURPOSELY sent my help away in October last year, because I didn’t want a middle man in my home as I SERVE my family directly. Aside from a cleaning service that comes to deeply clean fortnightly, I am HAPPY to handle everything else alone IN THIS SEASON.
I don’t even like people hanging out in my kitchen lol, and I would rather cook ALL my meals, only outsourcing what I cannot make, like pap, and moimoi, haha.
In fact, I have pushed back on having anyone else in my home as the VISION for now will only THRIVE on the Nuclear family model.
PDDK
PDDK is a hero and example to me in VERY MANY things, but no matter what she says and how she runs her home, I can NOT be MOTIVATED away from my own purpose for my home, in this season.
In fact, I just recalled another thing. Though I have never been there, PDDK shared that her home is on I think 3 floors, and I do have a friend whose home is like that.
I LOOOOOOOVE my friends home, and I am sure I would LOVVVVEE PDDK’s home, but I literally cannot even imagine a home on even 2 floors right now. I can’t deal with a duplex.
My parents live in ONE and I find it so stressful when I take my kids over for a few days. I NEED to be able to SEE my whole home in ONE GLANCE lol, as I am in the TRENCHES of everything here.
My season REQUIRES this kind of nice, spacious 3-bed home that I am living in, so if I am unwise, then I would let my mentor’s home motivate me out of purpose, say I was looking for a new home.
I have a dream for a future home and it is on at least 2 floors, but I am going to need my kids to be older AND independent FIRST!!!
Oh, Pastor Mildred has a home that is quite different than mine, and I just LOVE her home, and how it works every time I visit. However, I really do not model mine after hers. She is a MAJOR ministry and marriage inspiration for me, and I listen to her A LOT, but I let the HS lead me as I apply, and not allow myself to be MOTIVATED away from my own purpose.
In fact, there was this time I asked her for counsel on something and for a LONG time, she didn’t respond, which is unlike her. So I asked Jesus (well, Eziaha, how wise!), He gave me my answer and told me He held back Mama from responding to me. When mama came back to me, she said she felt God wanted to speak to me directly which was why she didn’t respond immediately, and I confirmed I had my answer.
Pst. Mildred
Who knows, maybe that answer would have MOTIVATED ME AWAY FROM PURPOSE because I didn’t have the wisdom I have now when it comes to application of counsel, and frankly, I NEVER blame the mentor or teacher if I allow myself apply what I should not apply and it bounces back on me. I SITUATE THE BLAME right in myself!!! And do BETTER next time.
How about Heather?
Now, this is the one I am MOST like, BUT we live in different countries, time zones and have different lives. Yes, I glean a lot from her, but I never let myself be inspired away from my own purpose in this season.
Some things she does, I do not have the capacity (or resources) for. Home schooling for example, is NEVER my thing. I am happy to send kids off for a couple hours daily for my alone time. There are some things she shares about her marriage that WORKS GREAT for them, but I cannot be bothered to apply in mine because it will backfire.
I LOVE all my teachers and mentors, but I seek wise counsel I receive and ask God to show me how to, if I even have to, apply in MY CURRENT season and based on the PURPOSE He has shown me for my life.
And when I get that wisdom from God, I go HARDCORE in applying, and then my life THRIVES!!!!!!!
See ehn, sister, we all need to WISE UP. Yes, you have 10,000 teachers but you need to know which one Jesus is highlighting in each season.
As your season changes, you MUST still be discerning to know who God is highlighting again, while still putting pressure on your faith to get your own CUSTOMIZED dealings and answers from God.
Then all of us need to be comfortable with DROPPING the things God didn’t tell us to apply, and this requires WISDOM especially if a mentor told you DIRECTLY but you feel like God is saying otherwise.
Which is why even in mentoring, it is OK for me to say what I consider is wisdom and is working for me, but I let you know that God, not Eziaha, is your ultimate teacher.
And even if you don’t do it, it is fine.
I am here to lead you to Jesus, not amass LOYALISTS. Please.
Let’s all learn from our Teachers AND be LOYAL to Jesus only.
Even when it comes to my blog, as I share my life, you cannot take it and apply WHOLESALE. You MUST still go to Jesus and ask Him how to apply this OR DISCARD this because what Eziaha is saying to you right now aint working.
In fact, you can even (from a GOOD HEART) BLOCK me for a season, so you stop shaking your own convictions based on knowledge I am sharing from my own season which is PERFECT for me but DISASTROUS for you.
And THAT IS OK!!!
Which is why I did these two posts and didn’t give a straight answer.
Don’t let anybody motivate you away from purpose ooo. You get to stand before God and give a PERSONAL ACCOUNT
So then, each of us will give an account of himself to GodRomans 14: 12 NASB
Which is why you NEED to have a solid definition and sensing of what your purpose is and what your season looks like. Then from there, you can now make the WISE decisions you have to make.
And the beautiful thing about God is He knows where we are and even when we make a mistake on our growth journey, like Joyce Meyer says, He knows how to reroute us back.
I prefer to make mistakes actively following Jesus than BLINDLY following DUST aka man.
So Babes, I hope this gives you the wisdom you need.
Drop a comment and share your thoughts.
Love&Light
Eziaha
Living my BEST LIFE!!!