Eziaha… The REAL me :)

Have you been watching Omotola, the real ME…? I really do love it. So I thought to share some stuff about me that some people may not know… So here goes nothing…
I am lazy mehn… you may not believe it seeing as I am always going on and on here on my blog. D’uh… The girl is lazy ooo. But don’t start rejoicing yet jare. I am lazy but I am a damn MOTIVATED young woman. So though I would rather spend all the time stretching leg, I end up cramming activities that require more than 24hours into my day and then I end up exhausted at night. Though I think that is like the best kinda sleep. An exhausted-body-before-you-sleep sleep. Now that I look back at college years, I can’t even start to imagine all the crazy things I juggled… Church (I was HOD of an amazing unit and VERY active member in another), Socials (I was the Social director of my department, phew and it was WORK), academics (I ran active tutorials both for my mates and for my younger colleagues and if you know anything about teaching, it is EXHAUSTING… Draining much… I also kicked off my professional makeup business. Oh my!!! Final year was the absolute busiest for me and yet this my Faithful God still made my final year CGPA the highest ever in my stay in UI… 6.6/7.0 Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee… It just pays to be diligent and serve God too. Nope, flip that… It pays to serve God and be diligent too…
Now that I am done with making you all feel bad and jealous about my very effective laziness story, we may now proceed to other ‘REAL ME’ facts.
I love plantain chips. OMG!!! Tz gotta be a sin. In fact, if you ever made the Lagos-Ibadan trip and I never asked you to buy me chips, then you gotta question the relationship we have. In fact at some point, people started buying me chips in dozens… Once someone got me 15… that was the highest and I loved it. I finished it in two days though. BTW, if all you got me was a miserable two packs of chips, then you also need to re-evaluate your loyalty to friendship… ;p
I always cross my fingers whenever I cross the road. I don’t even understand why I do it. I don’t think I am scared. I am a bahd road crosser… gidi style… In fact I prefer crossing really busy roads and then I dodge in between cars. But I always cross my fingers and I realize it when I am on the other side, then I uncross. That is the only time I ever cross.
Desperate housewives is my greatest guilty pleasure. My goodness!!! When I start watching it, I don’t do anything else. In fact I have been known to wake up and even before I pray, *insert covering eyes here* I continue from where I stopped before I slept off. Tz crazy. I even watched it between papers. Exam papers ooo. Crazy stuff walahi… Even now that I am done with the complete season I can’t say I have lost my passion. I now started seeing re-runs. The good thing is that when push comes to shove, as in real shove, I dump it and do real stuff. Tz a real struggle though.
I procrastinate a whole lot… WHOLE!!! It works for me though… LOL… Plus it is not yet very serious so… #nuffsaid J
I hate cooking… I mean I hate cooking. I am a very good cook, but I just don’t dig cooking. So when I bring myself to cook, I like to invite someone over so as to prove that this fine, tall, ole-looking girl is an amazing Cook. I recall on my birthday tis year, my neighbor was told to say bad bad things about me, seeing as everyone had been saying good stuff. Since she stays just opposite, she should be able to dish out gist na… so they were like, ‘is she dirty? Does she follow men? Bla bla bla So she thought and thought and the only thing she could say was that I don’t like cooking and I always eat indomie so if anyone is hungry, my room is the last room to expect a good meal. So true… So super true. Spot on true. So by now I am sure all you bad belles are already saying ‘is it indomie my husband will eat? Yes!!! But he will also eat Egusi, Efo riro, Oha soup, Pounded yam, beans, plantain, chicken and fish stew, nkwobi, isi-ewu, etc, cos my mama did a fine job teaching her baby how to cook all of this and more… (Now Bolaji, this is the point where you comment and corroborate all tis if not, walahi you will eat soaked indomie ooo *straight face*)
I love garden eggs and ose-oji… I’m sorry it doesn’t have an English name… I think tz peanut butter but with a lot of pepper. That ish is a delicacy for me walahi. Unfortunately I hardly found it in Ibadan but whenever I found it I always bought it. You should try it sometime, it ROCKS.
At some point in my life, I loved cake and ice-cream… I recall PSSF days then when they would always tease me about my cake and ice cream love and so they would not want me to be the one serving. Today, I don’t really care so much for it. I am not averse to it but I hardly find myself craving cake and ice cream. I can even pass it up at parties. Strange huh?\
I am a really FAST typer and writer. In class, as Lecturers dictated, when they did, I always caught it all even when most people didn’t. It also helped that I abbreviate a lot. I have a short hand for EVERYTHING walai… people borrow my notes at their own risk. As per typing, I am Usian Bolt on the keyboard ooo. Sad thing is that I am also a loud typer and so I disturb people especially when I type in the library… hehehe. But I am fast sha.
I love being alone. I am sure this would surprise some of you. I really do enjoy being alone. That’s cos there is so much I am involved in that whenever I catch a breather, I just wanna lock myself in and be alone. No calls, no visits, etc. In fact, a lot of times when people knock at my door at such times, mehn , I do not answer. It pisses a lot of people off walai… That’s cos when I knock on your own door, I do not leave till you open cos I keep screaming your name till you are disturbed enough to open your darned door hehehe.
I break my glasses almost every month. It is crazy. This has happened for as long as I have worn glasses. Since junior secondary school. Every term as I wrote my infamous long list of stuff for school as a boarder, my parents always WHINED about my every term new glasses demand. But my mom was really cool and she would buy me all sortsa designer frames in color and even let me color the lenses. Once I had purple frames and lenses. I was the coolest in feddy then. I was a junior student and even senior students beefed me for it cos I already had an attitude and to add the amazing glasses to it, phew… then once, after rolling my eyes at a senior student, she slapped me and the purple frames broke. Chai!!! She was so scared eh… and I knew the principal, my mom was coming in a few days cos twas my birthday and she was gonna stay at ‘Princy’s house’. She so begged me. I don’t even recall how we fixed that pee. I also do contact lenses. I have worn it all as regards contacts…blue, green, violet, grey, hazel, brown, etc. But my romance was longest with hazel. That’s cos my ‘lens idol’ was Regina Askia and I loved her hazel eyes mehn. Today though, I wear colorless contacts. And tz so cool… and boring too lols but for now it werks for me…
At some point in my life, I liked DESMOND ELLIOT… I actually thought he was the world’s finest guy. Onyinye Ugorji just has a way of remembering IT ALL from feddy then and recently she reminded of my crush on him and that his tantalizers ad… ‘Have you tantalized her lately?” But today?? Excuse me!!! After I saw that Igbo music video he did where he sang beside a swimming pool, flowers and fine houses and was dancing like a village elder, all the likeness disappeared. Meanwhile if you have never seen that vid, please never see it. One action I regret most in my life is seeing that video. I am sure my Ramsey Nouah would never do that.
Everybody knows I love Tu-Face… Gosh!!! Totally ooo. I have loved him since P.boiz and till tomorrow I still love him. I just wished he didn’t have all these many kids and just stuck to Annie from the beginning. I am not even an Annie fan but as she is his wifey, I love her now. I just love Tu sha. I don’t even listen to his songs, I just love the guy especially because he is so humble and down to earth. It’s easy to see why all these girls won’t stop opening their legs for him. Yeah, I know he too won’t zip up but hey did you miss the line “I love Tu face”? lolsss.
I hate garri… as in made garri, eba… I don’t even remember when last I ate it. I really HATE it ooo. HATE… On the other hand, I love amala. Oh and abula, that is gbegiri and ewedu mehn…Bolaji thinks they have jazzed me with it. I visited Ojunrin for amala a healthy number of times especially in my final year. Incidentally, I am NOT even a fan of rice. God knows I lived on indomie and biscuits in school. Indomie and egg is da ish… And oh my!!! I love chicken. That deserves another paragraph.
I LOVE CHICKEN. You know, you could be offering me food when I say I am really hungry and if you say there is no chicken in the food I won’t eat. Crazy love ooo. I would make stew and I would pick out all the pieces of chicken and eat it all even when I have a full pot of stew. And then I would go and buy another kilo of chicken and put in the stew and also pick it all out and finish it. Cray stuff ooo. Sometimes I would put the chicken in Ziploc bags and put in my fridge then later bring it out and eat ooo… sometimes cold sef if I can’t wait to microwave it. No that chicken thing is crazy. A lot of times, I ended up throwing my stew away cos no more chicken in it so I abandon the stew and before long it would go sour. Me and chicken… chai…
You would hardly find me raise my voice at someone. Hardly… when I am angry, I retreat. I could send you a text later but I can be terrible with words so a lot of times I just ignore you. The bad part is that I can now ignore you FOREVER… But the deal is that I hardly shout at people. I just go in and then cry especially if the person has really hurt me and God is restraining my tongue, and I know that I can FINISH that person both verbally and with written words. I would so cry. Gosh I can cry ooo. If I start shouting, most times it ends in public tears and I prefer to cry alone in my room. Hehehe… Cry baby me…
My tapes and CDs library brims with Pastor Bimbo Odukoya messages. I have a whole LOT. She lead me to Christ. I went to The Fountain of life church for a long time and I always buy messages. Plenty much that I have. When she died eh, it was really painful for me. But even though I have a lot of my Pastors’ messages today, it still has not rivaled Pastor Bim’s own. She gave me a damn solid foundation in my walk with Christ. Infact, the fact that both DCC and TA (both are my churches in Ibadan and Lagos) is that they have a ‘single and married’ ministry. Infact TA, shabach centre used to have a whole service every Sunday, fourth service dedicated to relationship… ‘Kisses and Huggs’. DCC too is another church that doesn’t shy away from relationship and sex matters. I love when preachers are free enough to discus sex cos the world has a lot of strange strange doctrines and if the church is not teaching us, then we would have to learn from the world cos nature doesn’t allow a vacuum. We gotta feed our hunger somehow.
My book library has three major people… Pastor Bimbo’s books are really much in my library. I have almost all her books. Almost. Joyce Meyer comes a really really close second. Joyce Meyer is like my momsie. She’s a great great woman of God. I have a lot of her books ooo. And pictures while at it. I also have a lot of TD Jakes books. In fact, I just love that bishop. My all time favorite book remains ‘the lady, her lover, and her Lord’. He teaches us how to maintain the three most important relationships in our lives with BALANCE; with yourself, with your partner and with God. TD Jakes has a ministry to women, I swear. His books for men are not as exciting as the ones for women (yeah men, warreva). This new year tough I intend to get more ‘serious’ books like Copeland, Brother Hagin, etc LOLSSSS… Interestingly I have quite a lot of Hagin’s books sha but give me ‘eat the cookies, buy the shoes’ anyday mehn… That is a Joyce book title. She has all sortsa exciting titles. “Me and my big mouth” is another.
My hobbies are just reading and listening to gospel tracks and messages especially on relationship. Now the down side of this is that if I make any small mistake ooo, that is how I wee start hearing a sermon on how ‘I should know better seeing as I am armed with all the arsenals of books and messages.’ Well, that is the truth though. So I gotta always put a check on me.
I love my pastors ooo. I love them taya. To the moon and back. Once, playing a game with a few close friends on how well they know me, one of the questions was, ‘what is your favorite phrase?’ One of my friends said ‘I love my Pastors’ is something I say a lot. Yes I really do. All my friends know that all too well. In fact, I always give people their messages to listen to. I seem to have an answer in a book or message for anybody’s issues. Between Pastor Bim, Rev Albert and PK. we are good to go. My pastors are AMAZING… I dunno how people talk trash about their pastors. If you had pastors like mine, you would really really ‘preciate em. The kinda interest they have in me. I know how much they love me cos they show it too. I have access to them WHENEVER… I am amazed as to how amazing they are. I mean they are such super stars yet they give me access. Not just me, I have seen them pour out their lives for people. Sometimes, people that are not even appreciative of the sacrifice. Like one of my pastors said, you spend hours counseling people who already know what they wanna do and then they call them up middle of the night when they have run into real yawa. All sortsa people say trash about them yet they stay Pastorly. I dunno about you but my own Pastors are lovable… Soooooo loveable. Incredible gifts. In fact one of them has given me more material things than I have given her. I am so thankful for them, and I SO LOVE THEM… Sometimes only the thought of all the belief they have in me just puts me back on track if I ever thought of straying.
Oh and lastly so I do not go on and on, I hate dusty beds mehn… I can’t stand having a speck of dust on my bed. I swear, it gives bad dreams. I can dust 100 times before I sleep. And then wake up in the middle of the night to dust walai…I can’t sleep with sand on my bed.
Finally, I hate rats. I swear all rats have a special really HOT place in hell. If you see all the measures I took to make sure rats do not enter my room in school then eh… In fact at some point I thought of changing my door.
Enjoy the best this season darling,
And remember, it is Jesus’ birthday, not yours :p
Stay fab…
E

PS;
My internet won’t let me upload pictures
Tz so annoying. Both bb and laptop…
Aaaaarrrrgggh
Been on it for like ever… No show