I hope the title didn’t mislead…
Nope this is not me beefing Li. It is me lifting some letter I saw on her blog, to mine. And of course, adding my two cents to it…
The letter annoyed me… Totally!!!
But I’ll try not to vent too much.
Enjoy… NOT!!!
From a male LIB reader
My younger sister has been living with me since I became independent and moved to Lagos to start a new life. That was eight years ago. I got married three years ago and my wife moved in with us and since then I have known no peace. They are constantly quarreling, making accusations, and have even exchanged blows a few times.
My wife packed out of the house in April with our two small children and said she would not return until my sister leaves the house. I can’t send my sister packing because I am the only relative she has in Lagos and she just finished her university education and looking for a job. Asking her to leave means asking her to go back to Owerri where our parents stay and that’s not what she wants at this time. I can’t afford to get her her own place but I want my wife to return home. What do I do?
Where do I start?
Just where!!!
First, what do you do?
Well, you can start by marrying your sister!!!
You see ladies eh, please marry well!!! Marry a real man, not a baby boy.
What’s that??? Where does your sister get off having quarrels with your wife in her own home??? Why is your sister who is an adult, doing living in your house without your wife approving of it???
They have exchanged blows a few times and you call yourself a man???
It is because of men like you that I added a boy to the twin girls I have always ONLY wanted to have. So many bad examples of men around someone needs to show the world how to raise/be a REAL GENTLEMAN…
Of course, by God’s grace.
Going back to Owerri is not what she wants. So what does she want? To destroy you, your wife, your kids, your home?
I taya oooo!!!
The wife even has kids yet the man doesn’t think tz the kid-less sister that should leave.
I want to say ‘if I am the wife..’ But I can’t bring myself to say it. Because e NO FIT BE ME!!! The chic should have moved out before I move in, except I don’t mind. So that she can help me around the house, but I doubt I need the help sha
Like my Pastor Bimbo of blessed memory will say “Courtship is a time for interview not a time for intercourse. Use your mouth to TALK and not to KISS’
Ask questions and clarify issues as much as possible before the big DO. Questions like ‘family boundaries’ and stuff.
Ladies please marry well. All this swags would come to nothing when the rubber meets the road and the b̶o̶y̶ man has to make certain decisions ooooooo!!! Being a MAN is a real job. Send the boys to their rooms and get yourself a real God-fearing man, okies?
Meanwhile, I hope you are planning to attend ‘When Women Worship’. Details here. http://eziaha.wordpress.com/2013/05/26/my-love-for-women/
You can also have a taste of what to expect by reading Pastor M’s blog. There is a sneak preview of her THANKS-timony there. Hurry along…
Cheers to a DRAMA-FREE week (lol)
Btw enjoy these few pictures I took over d weekend at an amazing location!!! 😡 :p


31 Responses

  1. Cheiiii. Wishy washy men. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy ( a popular saying dt most weak men prefer not to know). Infact 1 Timothy 3:5 says it better. Pls, A real man knows the difference between what’s important and what isn’t and also knows how to keep his house/home in order. No woman wants to b dominated by a man with no balls. Until ‘weak’ learn to stand their ground, there is no way they can climb the ladder. No ruler can rule over a territory if he isn’t already the master of his own home. And Ezi, u r just right, mothers have to learn to raise their boys right. Fathers shld help too. You know what’s missing in the world today? Leaders who have had to fight their way to the top. No joking, look at the head of any business that’s circling the toilet bowl, and I’ll show you a boss whose parents’ power and money kept him from ever learning things the hard way. Please dnt send d boys to their rooms, send them to d pit toilet to pack sh*t

    1. Spot on right!!!
      Daddy and mommy’s boys everywhere!!!
      Dear God!!! And I keep encountering them… Why me!!!???
      Major shout out to the ladies still waiting to be found. God will blind d eyes of all mommy’s boys. Amen!!!
      Sensible ladies ooo. Not all those ‘girlfriends’.
      Biko m sending em to d toilet immediately!!! That’s where they belong.
      My one and only Booski

  2. Totally insane, he shld send his sister away bcs of his wife. Imagine u r d sister. Insanity reigning in womanhood. Shut up nd close this ur blog

    1. I approved your comment first!!!
      And hurriedly too!!!
      The world (of real men and women) need to see that there is still work to be done. WORK!!!
      While I go on my knees for you, sweerie pls don’t insult me by making me imagine I am that sister in question! Please 🙂
      Nothing else you said is worthy of a response, beyond the prayers of course.

      1. Lol! So people like this still exist in 2013? Hahahahaha I can’t stop laughing. Pls tell me you made this up Eziaha 😀

        Thank u for approving his comment so girls can see the example of the kind of men you were talking about.

        And some girl is probably waiting to marry him. Lord Jesus after all you’ve done on the cross. *weeping uncontrollably*

        1. I didn’t make it up oooooo
          Looool. First laughing. Then weeping.
          I am restraining myself from tracing d person from d email… I won’t. Tz easier to live with this when I can’t put a face to the name…
          Love you my darlingest Pst M…

      2. Is this …for real? Imagine you are the sister? Really? The wife nko? Chai! *weeping again* as in true true u insist this is a real human being? Complete with mind body and spirit? Eziaha I think I need a break from reading this comment. I cant get over it.

        1. He is real ooo!!!
          Me sef clean eye first when I see am…
          I couldn’t believe he cld say dt and now insult me and my blog…
          Tins be happening!!! Upon all d preaching PK dey preach!!!

    2. Biko, Ezi, who is this person ni? A real man WILL NOT allow his home and marriage to be broken bcos of his sister. It means he does not have control nd does not even know d Bible principles on marriage. I cnt start teaching a baby like u abt that, u just won’t understand. If he can’t maintain balance nd control, then there is a problem. why am i even making a comment here sef. its obvious this guy thinks this blog is for small minds, like those gossip blogs he patronizes. a friend of mine wld have put a disclaimer on his blog saying : this blog is strictly for matured minds. u shld do so too…so we wont b irritated by this kind of trashy talk, ehhh? your wife is more important than anything or anyone BUT Jesus. According to the bible, a man should cleave unto his wife and forsake all others. And in reverse, too. Love waxes and wanes with circumstances, and being in love certainly does too. You can be in love with your children and your grandchildren, but since your spouse is supposed to love them just as much as you do, there is no problem because you both become blithering fools over them together. Not all love is created equal. You love your parents differently from your spouse, your spouse differently from your children, your children differently from your siblings, but you do love them all. Can you choose to favor one person over another in your actions? Sure! People do it all the time. But they can still love both people strongly. You should love God more than your wife or husband, but then your wife or husband should come next because you are supposed to be there for each other at all times no matter what, and stick together when it comes to the children. I guess my friend will have to wait to mature in this area. when he gets married he will see that your priority is to your spouse. Aside from God.

    3. Whaaaaat!!!? You mean this specie of guys actually exist?! And more than one too!! OMG! All I can say Eziaha is I have a new found respect for you cos u managed to reply to this guy without throwing even one insult in.
      I learnt if I dnt ve anything nice to say then I shouldn’t talk at all so in that light…#Zip!

      1. Me sef I shock ooo…
        To have this mindset is one tin!!!
        To be brazen abourrit is another!!!
        Nne I have to pick my battles. This one didn’t seem worth it at all!!!
        Looool at #Zip

  3. I am so irritated right now I could puke! Is that a real guy or someone u or Linda Ikeji made up just to really annoy me. Well I am pissed at the guy but I also unfortunately feel no pity for the girl either. As my beloved PK would say…”You deserve who you marry” She never begin pack out mscheeewww.
    How do u even get attracted to such a weakling? Can’t wrap my head around this biko

    1. It really does wear me out when I hear tins like this…
      I think Li made it up to annoy us both!!!
      True sha… You deserve who you marry so marry well. The best gift you can give yourself!!!
      Sorry eh, no vex my one and only diche…

  4. Can only shake my head cos sadly, there r lots of men like dis dat exist, esp among the Ibo folks but it is so wrong and yeah there r women who accept situations like its d cross they came to dis world to bear…..& Eziaha, u did a good job of approving that guys comment without insulting him….. prob. his first time, he will read ur posts n learn… pls urge others commenting not to insult him.

    1. D funny thing was that I wanted to say igbo guys do this more but I didn’t wanna start a civil war!!! Now that u mention, I realise that d dude must be igbo, what with d Owerri/Onitsha/Nsukka(whatever) connection.
      Some igbo men sha… Be making me grateful I’m leaving ’em lol.
      I’m sure my ‘commenters’ won’t insult him, like he did me.
      Cheers sweerie

  5. I personally got irritated to d marrow when I saw that story.
    that wouldn’t happen in my family.as a matter of fact, my mom of blessed memory decides who comes,and stays. so now that shes no longer here, no body comes 🙂
    and talking bout the pics, I think I recognize that location.

    1. My dear, nobody comes ooo.
      My mom can decide in her house. In my matrimonial home, she decides absolutely NOTHING!!!
      Loool. Are u sure u do? No u don’t

  6. When I first saw this post on LIB, I wanted to comment, ‘what a weakling!’ in disgust but then I changed my mind cos I just felt it wasn’t worth my time but then I just saw the comment by another….well, bro on your blog and changed my mind. Biko, don’t mind these small minds. We don’t have the whole details of what transpired in the family and may not be in the right position to apportion blames. However, one fact is constant…between wifey and sis, the one to leave the house should be the sis. What are we even talking about…it shouldn’t even be a subject for debate. For the man to be asking this question, it means he’s probably tilting towards his sister’s side. It just goes to show the level of his maturity. Is he married to his sister or his wife? Mtcheeew…no further comment, just prayers!

    1. These Lawyers abia kwa…
      Biko nu, shift with ur facts and whole details…
      We have all d details we need for this case to be thrown out of court permanently.
      The BOY has a (?)wife and a s̶t̶u̶p̶i̶d̶ sister.
      The sister and wife have issues!!!
      Sometimes d issues get physical!!!
      Wifey leaves house for sister!!!
      Man is WEAK and needs to grow some balls…
      Case closed.
      Like u said, this shouldn’t even be up for discussion

  7. Eziaha!!!
    Well I totally agree wif u on d fact dat men should be men and dat as singles, we should talk about everything including issues like this and each party should know wat is acceptable and wat isn’t in their relationship, but this story reveals very little and because of this fact, I wouldn’t want to conclude dat d man is a weakling.
    Now, even if you are phlegmatic and u like to avoid confrontations (which I feel is wat usually happens, when his obviously close knitted and over indulged sister ,has conflicts wit his wife), u should learn to be firm and instil a certain level of discipline in ur home. U should not allow ur sis 4 any reason disrespect ur wife.
    I guess dey also have family issues maybe dat may be d reason y he wouldn’t send his sis home, which I feel is the right thing to do.
    She has to learn to be respectful to u n ur wife. In fact,I think I hv changed my mind on him being a weakling cos now his wifey has moved out wif his kids( bad!! Real bad!!) N he is still insisting he aint gonna send his sis home) SMH!!

    Its well. Ladies take dat advice n marry well O. Don’t go on a kissing n sex spree when u are supposed to be on a talking and discussing, praying and fasting spree in ur relationship. Lord help us all to make the right choice of partners.

    N.B. Just saw pst M’s comment n I ‘loled’ at her ‘fainting n weeping comment. I totally gbadun her jare.
    Heard they hv a singles meeting dis june, could u tell us about it cos I know if I can make it, I would fly right from my house near berger to dat their church cos I need plenty, plenty rhema 4 ma single n fantastic life.

    1. Err nne d story reveals little and just enough to conclude ooo. He’s married. Has two kids. Wife and sister live like two wives. Wife leaves for sister. Man can’t send sister away and bring wife back!!! In marriage, spouse is d most important after God. End of story!!!
      Ur comment is kinda confusing tho… Can’t really say whose side u are on. U think tz a good tin to not send sis home cos of fam issues while his marital home suffers? And tz bad! Real bad!!!wifey moved out?
      Tz all good sha. Thanks for dropping by
      Yes we have When Women Worship on June 16
      I put a link on the post I did on it and also a link to pst M’s blog on this post.
      I’m surprised u missed it.
      Pls make it darling.

  8. Imagine….?!?! That’s all I can say… Bomboy!

    “Courtship is a time for interview not a time for intercourse. Use your mouth to TALK and not to KISS’’ – Simple and short…!

  9. To me actually, I tink d sister is also not mature. Y will u stay wif ur broda 4 does many yrs? During ur stay, he got married and had two children. Common sense shld tell ha she shld give d bro some space. Moreova, she’s matured enough to have a guy lookin 4 ha. Will any guy actually look 4 ha in ha bro’s house? Not sure. A lady as old as dat shld tink of getting at least a room, and dat doesn’t stop any oda allowances u want to collect 4rm ur bro.

  10. Nne.. Lesson 23432 of marriage…

    Your in-laws will treat you the way your husband allows you to be treated. The mere fact the SIL had liver to be screaming and fighting in the house is merely because he allowed it.

    I remember once my SIL and MIL jokingly called me their property…Nne ( i stole your word) my husband was quick to rise up and say my wife is NO ONE’s property ( He said it with a smile but you could tell he was serious…lol). Trust me, it never happened again.

    The guy in your story needs to man up with a quickness…kilode!!!???

    1. Hahaha
      Le Boo’s pastor said that to him too.
      She is NOT ‘our wife’
      She is your wife.
      Be very firm on that.
      That ur hubster sha… Pls I hope he is mentoring many young men ooo
      He seems to be IT all…
      Let’s not start on d fact dt he is also a music minister
      Not fair ooo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *