Ain’t no traffic like the Lagos traffic…

On my way to work this morning, I noticed a trend. Not that I had not noticed it before but today I just sat and thought about it a bit. I can’t say I have an answer to it or I have it clearly figured but hey, lemme share…

First up, How y’all? I feel like a stranger to my blog. Too many things be fighting for my time. But hey, life has been good and yup, I am singing about it… (That is a hymn title. I have been working on the Christmas carol for my School and I am getting increasingly familiar with hymns, tunes and stuff. Cool stuff I promise)

Ok on to what I thought about…

As I waited at the junction for my Boss’s driver to pick me up, (they were kind late so I waited for almost 15mins and this was 6am), I noticed several school buses, both primary and secondary doing the rounds to pick students. In my mind, I am like this is too damn early now. I mean these schools are situated in Festac and most likely most of the students will live in Festac, Amuwo odofin and environs so why do the pick up rounds that early? I quickly compared to my own students and my nieces too. Sometimes, I do the drop-off rounds with one of the school buses and the driver says he hits the streets at 4.30/5am every morning for pick ups because  he has to do the Ikoyi, Obalende, Dolphin, Victoria Island and environs and Lekki routes. If you know anything about this route, it is the DEFINITION OF TRAFFIC so if he doesn’t get a head start at 5am latest, he may not get to school until 9am.

Poor students lol.

As for my nieces, when they were in Primary school, it was easier as the school was in Ikoyi and they lived in Ikoyi and then moved to VI so my sister could even follow and drop them off at school at past 7 and still get to work on time. Now they are in secondary school in LEKKI and my babies have to wake at 5am and the school bus comes at 6am. I mean haba!!! At first, sister dearest used to make them sleep at 7.30pm but it became increasingly impossible because the bus would drop them off at past 5 sometimes 6pm, they have a home tutor and they have to eat, do homework, bond with mommy and stuff. So sometimes, it is not until 11pm they sleep and wham they are up at 5am. TV on school night is totally OUT. Ditto friends’ visit and stuff. Sometimes I wonder if we are letting kids be kids sef… But what is the alternative. Island traffic is a curse walahi. Sometimes when I stay on the Island, going from Lekki (work) to VI (home) can take me THREE to FOUR HOURS!!! An otherwise 15 minute trip ooo.

Several times as I stay in traffic, I regret the very reason why my Parents decided not to live in Umuariam Obowu, the village lol.

Ozumba Mbadiwe is devilish walahi. In fact everywhere!!!! Ahmadu Bello??? Once it is COB hours, you are better off trekking lol. Ugh… An AC car is definitely not luxury if you have to drive on the Island.

Lagos traffic is really getting out of hand. You need to see how we listen to traffic radio (Is it 95.1FM or what sef) on our way to and from work as if it is a ritual. Just to know which routes to avoid or even if to be psyched ahead that you will be sleeping on the road today. Aku m was just telling me now when I mentioned what I was writing about that a friend of his was transferred to Lag from Osogbo and on his first day at work, he had been putting up all sorts of ‘having a nice day bla bla’ PMs only for him to put up at COB that the traffic he is encountering has just spoilt his WHOLE DAY. I can imagine how worse it gets when you are now in a commercial bus… Kai!!!

My whole rant is just that some of us really need to leave Lagos jor. Lol. Lets depopulate this city cos this traffic is a nuisance. I mean, even the kids are not left out of all this drama. The loss of productive hours in traffic can probably build a new Lagos.

Yesterday, I had asked my boss if she was leaving early and when she said she was, I chilled for her. We left work at 15mins to 4, and by the time I opened my eyes, we were in Festac…. I almost fainted. The road was FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and so in like 30 to 40mins I was home. Lekki to Festac. That was a record!!! I prayed for more days like this. Usually we always get in at 630pm ish.

I quickly dashed off to do a couple of medical tests and I was ready to start crying when I was told they would need to draw my blood. But the lady was so nice that I hardly felt the pain. I still acted drama sha but not as much as the tooth extraction one lol. Btw, hellurrrr Doctors, can we find another way to conduct tests without drawing Blood? Spit maybe… *straight face*

Lol

After the hospital drama, I just went home and slept… She said she drew less than 2mls but she might have as well drawn 2pints…

Ok I know this is getting long already so I will just pause here and schedule the other stuff I wanted to talk about to go live tomorrow. It is on trivializing our gifts/talents.

I am so running away from work at lunch today. Need to steal something from my sister’s house, give my nephew a big kiss and hit Ikeja. Dear gods of Ikeja traffic especially, my GOD pass una… :p

Muah

E’

PS:

I apologize for all the comments/questions I have not responded to and emails. Will get to it before COB today by God’s grace. Make una no vex…