One thing i HATE the most…

 

I don’t like LIES… I just can’t stand people who do not, as a habit, keep their words. You know, there are two kinds of lies. One is the kind that just happens because we are not God. I mean, you planned and totally wanted to do something and then something happens (in Nigeria, that something is usually NEPA or traffic) and then kaput… there goes your plans. Infact, if you have made an appointment with someone and for some reason you can not make it, biko eh, give the person a call and apologetically let them know before hand. And if for some reason you can not let them know before hand, then when you finally let them know, please be very sorry and if possible, find a way to make up. If you think some, you would find a way to make up…

Anyways, that is not even the ‘lie’ that I am talking about… the second type of lie is the DELIBERATE LIE… Like, you know you would NOT come at 3pm like you said yet you say YES I will make the meeting. 3pm abi? Venue again please… and after you have been told, you nod vigorously and say ‘Il see you guys at 3…’ Then 3pm comes and you switch off your phone or not respond to pings again meanwhile the people in your village are changing your DPs. You know those sort of people. You probably have met quite a few especially if you are in any kinda leadership position. They agree to do something they have absolutely NO plans of doing. And then you have already made plans hoping that they would do their own bit and stuff would work… For where… they would do JACK and then not even bother apologizing later. I dunno why I have so many people like that around me. Ok maybe not so many but at least a number that I think could do with some reduction jare.

One thing about me is this… I am an optimist. I can be naïvely NAÏVE ts amazing.

When people tell me stuff,  just believe that they would do, or that they did it. Why would they be lying afterall. But today eh, having encountered so many lies and deceits by people, my optimism has nearly finish walahi… No wonder the quote reads, ‘an optimist is one who has not had much experience.’

Sometime in the recent past, I needed volunteers to help me out with something. So I asked some of my ‘friends’. Some said oh I’m sorry I can not for this reason or the other. But some said, ‘no pee babes il help you’. I recall telling a friend, bunmi that ‘’oh, so so and so just agreed to be a part of the whole stuff’’ and bunmi goes ‘Eziaha, you sha just want to give yourself headache abi?’ I didn’t answer bunmi jare. I believed that this chic would surprise herself. D-day arrived and I recall seeing the lady earlier in the day and she said ‘yes babes, 2pm abi? I will be there’ and she said it like she had no other plan. By 15mins to 2, I called to remind her and chic says ‘yeah yeah I am coming.’ Infact I am tired of this story, let us just skip to the part where I tell you that she DID not come and didn’t pick my calls again. When I finally saw her, she did not have a reason for not coming ooo. Of course no one should tell you that bunmi laughed at me tire… naughty girl. But really, wouldn’t it have been better if this girl said to me, like others who said, ‘sorry Ezi I can’t’… Recall that bible story of that dude who told his father, ‘yes daddy i will go’ and never went…

Seriously, when did our words become so meaningless to us that we don’t bother to keep them anymore. two days ago, a colleague said to me, ‘Ah, a promise is not compulsory ooo. so many people promised me so many things during this program i had and they did not keep it so why should i keep mine’… Phew….

Or you know those people who say to you, ‘mehn, I would have loved to help you do so so and so or follow you to so so and so place but it is because of exams ooo. I have a paper on Monday morning and the event is Sunday evening. Mehn I would have loved to come.’ Infact, they even whine and throw a few choice words at whoever it was that fixed the paper for 8am Monday morning. In your heart, you are convinced that they would have made it oooo but for this frigging paper… And then gbam… News filters in. EXAMS have been postponed by TWO WEEKS… and then you are like yay!!! Finally this girl can come along for this Sunday ish… you ring her up and after you tell her joyfully that she can now come, she gives you the classic line…’OK I WILL THINK ABOUT IT…’ WHATTTTTT!!! Whatever happened to the enthusiasm that made her wanna go or do before.

Sometimes it is because of money that people tell lies. I recall once, err I am tryna put this as ‘codedly’ as possible. Another friend of mine said oh, I would like to be a part of so so and so but tz just cos my friends won’t be there so I don’t wanna go there and not see familiar faces. And then somehow, 3 of his friends say they are going and then when I told the dude, he realized he was now cornered and he said ‘Eziaha, lemme not lie eh, the major reason I am not going is because I do not have the money. The other reasons I was giving were just lies’. In spite of myself, I had to laugh. Whatever on God’s green earth stops a full red-blooded ADULT from saying ‘Oh I am sorry I can NOT afford to go. I would really love to but I am not that buoyant’. You definitely wont be shot dead now, will ya?

And then the classic one of lying on the phone…

I am sure you have even done that a couple of times. I recall once a friend of mine, President of one of these student clubs in UI then. She said she had this member, who of her own VOLUNTEERED to be a part. And then when it is almost time for meeting and you call her, the moment she picks the call, she no go even let you talk, she will say ‘Hello dear, I have not forgotten ooo. 12 noon abi? Hope the venue is still conference centre oooo, il see you soon’ Infact as I am typing away in the library now, I am keeping from bursting into laughter. LOL… When it is time for meeting and you call her again, she would say ‘ah, I am coming ooo. I am almost there… I am on a bike or in a cab’ And then the meeting would end with no shadow of the chic… and this chic did the same thing for weeks on end. THE SAME THING ooo. No remix… same line every week. Such a shame. And the girl is so pretty. Pretty girls should not tell lies walahi. What if your nose grew long. 😮

Seriously lies do not sit pretty on ladies. I recall my darling pastor K saying once that he was in FESTAC in a bank and then this really BEAUTIFUL lady wearing a pant suit walked in and was on the phone. And suddenly she said…’I am coming, I am in OSHODI’… PK said he was surprisd. He had to look around to be sure he was NOT in oshodi because he did not believe that such a tall fine girl could be pouring out lies that freely.

I also recall once I think on one of my trips home to lagos. There was this man in the bus who said to the person on the other end of the line that he was in ABUJA… Omo, me sef I fear ooo. I was like, I hope we are not in Abuja ooo. Meanwhile we were on lagos Ibadan express way. I don’t even wanna go into the story of how an elderly woman sold a lie to my mom and when momma got home and realized it was a lie, she couldn’t believe it. She was like ;how can an old woman be lying?’ LIES eh, it cuts across ages, status, tribe, religion, etc… Tufiakwa

The one that hurts me the most would have to be those that now switch off their phone or do not pick when you call them. And then they do not read your pings anymore. Sooooo annoying.Or someone fixes and appointment with you for a certain time and then when you call the person, he or she is SLEEPING… Aaaaaarrrrrggghhhhhh. Please let no one even tell me that sleep is natural… that kind sleep is SPIRITUAL.

Sweetheart, nobody is worth you not keeping your words. Cos I know sometimes people say things just to impress people. They agree to do things they cannot or would not do because they don’t wanna look ‘somehow’ in the eyes of others. It is of utmost importance for people to be able to bank on you. When you say a word, they can go to sleep knowing that, except something beyond your control happens, then you would KEEP your word.  It is really a sad story when anytime you talk, people just nudge themselves or give each other eye cos they know you have come again. I know a couple of people like that… I am sure you do too. Such poor reputation.

Today too many people say loose words. They lie even when saying the truth would be profitable to them just because they are already used to lying…

And the biggest problem a liar would have is that he can no longer believe the words of others because he has already made a mess of words. So when someone says to that OSHODI girl ‘I am in oshodi’, she would NOT believe. When someone says to a liar, I would be there in one hour, he would NOT believe it. And we really need a healthy measure of belief in people to at least enjoy life some. That is life ooo. We do not see life the way it is, we see life the way we are. I will say that again and in block letters… WE DO NOT SEE LIFE THE WAY IT IS, WE SEE LIFE THE WAY WE ARE…

You know, though I said I had ‘seen’ way too many experiences that my optimism was waning, I still have faith because there are amazing people I have that I can bank on… One of them is one chic I just love to call Lizzie Lizzie… If anyone keeps her word, at least with me, Elisabeth does…

I will end with this amazing quote. I believe that somewhere within us, we wanna do right and say right. Let’s make that part of us shine through as oft as we can…

NO TO LIES… If not, your nose would grow longer…

Muah…

Eziaha