Has anyone ever told you to strike a balance with your life, especially when you are finding it hard holding it all together?
Maybe you have also told yourself several times but maybe have not quite gotten a hold of this ELUSIVE but highly coveted BALANCED LIVING!!! Especially when everything on your plate is really a GOOD thing that would give God the glory.
Hmm. Dunno about ya Sis/Bro but my entire life, I am always always tryna find a BALANCE to my life.
I heard a definition/explanation of balance from, OF COURSE Priscilla Shirer (She’s my Mary who gets the baby in my womb leaping) and I thought to share.
She heard it from an older, wiser mentor lady.
She said that a lot of times, a lot of us define balance as having say TEN boxes each representing all the stuff in your life at the moment and having all of them full to the same level in such a way that they are all equal. That is anything BUT balance hon. That is C H A O S!!!
I can imagine how many of us have tried to arrange the stuff in our lives to be equal and perfect and how often we have ended up frustrated, dissatisfied and stretched too thin, simply because WE CANNOT and frankly because THEY SHOULD NOT BE EQUAL!!!
Lemme quote Priscilla Shirer on the definition of a balanced life.
A balanced life is when you prayerfully consider which of these ten boxes are most important to GOD in this season of my life RIGHT NOW. Then you push those to the front and pull everything else to the back…You allow those two or three to the fore while the rest of them have just a small amount of your time… (Ask yourself) what is God’s priority for you in this season and then you act immediately,
The seasons in our lives are constantly changing and it is only wise that our priorities change with some taking the back burner (or totally getting off the stove) EVEN IF THEY ARE GOOD STUFF. Yes, saying NO to even the GOOD STUFF is a MAJOR part of BALANCE!!!
Let me put this in some perspective by painting some real and fictional scenarios…
My marriage for the better part of the almost TWO years we have been married has been long distance. My hubs is a CHURCH BOY but when I am around for say anything from a weekend to a week, BALANCE is that he, for that period of time I am around, HE CUTS DOWN on his church activities and FOCUSES on his family.
Why? Because the first assignment God has given to him is his family NOT the people in church. Choir or the Youth church will NOT close down with everyone spiralling downwards into Hades if he CHILLS for that temporary season!!! I love that my husband gets that and strikes a GOOD BALANCE.
I recall in school then, there was always this buzz/guilt trip about how people become less committed in fellowship during exam periods and all EVEN when meeting times dragged longer than normal or UNNECESSARY meetings were being called for.
Very very funny. And UNWISE!!!
There is sure a time for everything and for someone like me who was plenty committed, it was NEVER a bad idea to RUN OFF 2nanoseconds after the main meeting is over during exam period, PLUS not turn up for any unnecessary impromptu meetings that CAN WELL WAIT UNTIL AFTER EXAMS and move some CHURCH-RELATED activities to the back burner until exams are over. I know this sounds controversial but hon, WISDOM!!!
Exams are gonna last just two weeks so please honor your parents (and the fees they are paying) and prioritise for that period. You are afterall in that fellowship BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUDENT!!! For some students who read my blog, this is a RHEMA for you right there. I certainly wasn’t a party to that overje lol. I was a HOD at several times and during exam periods, I would finish my meetings ON TIME and push my people to go and study.
When I used to run the FAB group with some 10-15 ladies, at some point, one of the MORE COMMITTED ladies sends me an email saying she had to leave for so so and so reasons. I think she had been in the group for say 6months or more. The GROUP had been such a blessing to her and I KNEW because we had grown soooo close but several other boxes in her life needed to get to the fore burner and so she had to sacrifice the group for them, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A GOOD THING!!! I was going to miss her incredibly BUT that decision was THE WISEST DECISION at the time because the group was fully engaging and all. B A L A N C E!!!
Still on the same thought, I recently told my prayer sisters in a Prayer Group I am in to give me some time out to sort out myself. My baby was getting more demanding, I had taken on some added responsibility to my life recently plus other things sha so our prayer time together actually became the time I REALLY NEEDED TO SLEEP or do some other stuff I sacrificed for sleep earlier in the day otherwise I would burn out and blow up some boxes of higher priority.
I LOVED praying with my Sisters 6x a week BUT at this point in my life, I could NOT cope and balance meant pushing it OFF THE BURNER!!! B A L A N C E!!!
Please note, that was not my Quiet time with God ooo. It was a Prayer Group!!!
Still on Groups, (and I am using the Groups example because I have a very active online/virtual life which is part of what I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO DO), I have had cause to shut down two groups I was in charge of. One is the one listed above that my friend had to leave, and then the other was my Mentoring group. The former I shut down because my life was changing so much and I could not manage it like I would have wanted to at the time. Moreover we had been together for almost a year and I knew it was best to ‘leave when the ovation was loudest’ and then begin afresh with ‘fresh blood’and make wider impact. I had to move on. So I gave my lil speech, we said our goodbyes and I took everyone out ready for the next batch of ladies.
My mentoring group too, same thing. I needed to move on with a fresh set of mentees and at first I thought I could run both parallel but what did I know? Haha!!! Wisdom demanded that I give my goodbye speech and release them. Plus my mentees had become FIERY WOMEN OF GOD themselves haha so our time together, which had been AMAZEBALLS was up and I had to move to a new season, and let them too. Group dissolved.
And I still have not started a new one because that Box, though a very good one, has to take a back burner now while I sort out other boxes and also prepare prayerfully for directions on the new Mentoring Group.
NO PRESSURE CAN LET ME DO OTHERWISE!!!
Same thing with my blog.
You know, there was this post Pastor M did belatedly for PK’s birthday. She was actually supposed to put up a blog post celebrating him and all and she had actually carried her laptop to, when the HS intervened. Long and short, that post didn’t come up because SHE PUSHED that VERY VERY GOOD THING (Blogpost) to the back burner and went instead at that time to SERVE her husband in a way that he would really know that it is a happy birthday indeed… FOOD!!! Yes he would have appreciated the post but that food?..
‘…so i headed straight to the kitchen and whipped out my chef hat *wink wink* I gat skillz like that…;-) and by the time I came out of the kitchen my pk had a tray laden with prawns sautéed in coconut milk, stir fried chicken, peppered snails, chicken gizzard sauce ….need I say more? sorry guys no pictures but if you guys are really nice to me I just may put up the recipe 🙂 …especially for new brides like E’…
But really, you get my point right? It would have been funny if she decided to blog AND cook. One would have suffered and it would have been the food even though blogging was important as it would have blessed lives too.
But HUSBAND FIRST!!!
Same thing I apply on my blog ooo.
I wish I could post everyday. Maybe I have things to post every other day that would bless yawl, yup BUT I would BURN OUT DRY!!!
I am NOT tryna get a medal or compete with anyone else who blogs daily. My blogging has reduced progressively since I got married and then had a baby. HUBBY AND BABYBOY COME UNDISPUTABLY FIRST.
Maybe someday when I have put my life in order like I dream, I can be a more regular blogger (this October seamless flow we have been having took me a WHOLE MONTH to plan ahead for it) but on a lot of days, my blog has to take a BACK SEAT!!! I LOVE yawl my FAB readers but I have to consider my life’s seasons and pace myself… There may be a Christian blogger too who blogs daily but I cannot be her. See why comparison ain’t good? She may actually be blowing up other boxes or she is living balanced. That is her own life. And boxes!!!
B A L A N C E!!!
That said, I am accepting offers to babysit. Maybe if you come sit for 4/5hours every week, I can do other stuff and then do at least ONE blogpost…
Holler!!! Plus you get to hang out with the Cool E’…
Funny right now it is 3.40am (I wrote this post sometime in September) and I have been blogging since yesterday evening… Trying to write at least 3 or 4 posts at least. You see why this cannot be regular at THIS STAGE OF MY LIFE? LOL.
I just recalled one of Heather’s video where she was LIVE on Periscope for her monthly Bible study (I think it was the one on Conflict) and just before the hour mark when she was answering questions LIVE, we heard hubby’s voice saying she NEEDED TO STOP NOW because her baby girl was awake and there was no more milk for her so she needed to come nurse.
She could have finished that question ooo but mba, she said her goodbyes and went to serve her family.
That question was so important but it had been one hour and so after that one hour, it took the back seat for Taylor to take the front seat.
One other scenario is that sometimes, when I feel like I am burning out from TOO MUCH ACTIVITIES even if good, and say a public holiday is coming. If there is any activity in church fixed for that day, I take my permissions and DO NOT ATTEND but rather I retire into my closet and spend time ALONE refreshing with God!!!
Is that program GOOD?
But so is my personal time with GOD too,
Missing one program or two won’t change the course of humanity. Of course, be sure your timing’s not off… and make sure you are actually not a loafer kinda Church worker.
Look, I know most of yawl that read my blog are church people and all but sometimes, you need to PULL A MARY and just step away from all the meetings and activities and just go SIT AT JESUS’S FEET ALONE!!!
Take the necessary permission and please go for a private fellowship with Him. It could even be that YOU NEED TO GIVE YOUR FAMILY MORE TIME!!!
Look honey, if your GOD-GIVEN family especially wife/husband is not happy, you better sit your behind down and settle stuff at home. No need going to serve others in Church when your home is suffering. See ehn, when I used to attend Fountain of life church, Pastor Taiwo would tell us how he always says to his female Pastors (and we had the HEAVYWEIGHT business woman Pastor Ibukun Awosika on board)
‘Look, if your husband EVER comes to complain to me that church is taking all of your time and he is not feeling you at home, I WOULD RELIEVE YOU OF YOUR ACTIVITIES and send you home to GO SERVE your hubby till I have his permission again…‘
Oh bless Pastor Taiwo. He knew family should come first even for his Pastors.
And Pastor Bimbo of blessed memory.
She was everywhere with her hubby’s blessings but she knew when to pull the brakes from being ‘Pastor Bim’ and be ‘Mrs. Odukoya’ and ‘Mommy’.
B A L A N C E!!!
Even with your regular work/job, I certainly believe that sometimes, deliberately CLOSE EARLY and come home and just fellowship and hang out with your kids and family.
Hmm, some things are VERY important ooo for example FAMILY!!!
Strike a GOOD BALANCE with LIFE and make sure that FAMILY remains your number ONE PRIORITY because they are YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT
Since I started with her, lemme end with something I heard my ‘MARY’ Priscilla Shirer say…
One time she was being asked about how she balances ministry and the home and she said
bla bla bla and it is my joy to serve my family of FOUR BOYS first and then on the side, serve others in ministry…’
I mean, look at the wisdom drippin’ in that statement!!!
Her church and ministry ain’t number one but her FAMILY even though she is a Preacher.
And you can tell that this INCREDIBLE Bible study teacher undoubtedly puts her husband and 3 boys FIRST because she preaches a lot with their story…
Fam, please sit down, get those boxes out, and PRIORITISE based on the season of life that you are in at the moment…
Cheers… to a BALANCED life and livin’
God loves yawl like crazzzzy.
P.S this post was first published in October 2015 on eziaha.com