I will be making some very BOLD and AUDACIOUS statements with this blog post, but I want you to read it, not just casually, but ask the Holy Spirit to show you what HE wants you to get from it, and then HOW to apply it to your unique season of life, and then have results like if not BETTE
R than me.
It’s deeply personal, but the JOY I feel in my life is SO INCREDIBLE I just cant keep it to myself.
I think the quote is meant to be ‘Life begins at 35’
Sister to Saint, here are 5 INCREDIBLE wins 35 has (already) brought me…
So I am writing this post on the last day of September 2021, a Thursday, but it wont be published until Monday, October 4.
I felt such a rush to write it today because I am going into October, HONESTLY, the BEST VERSION OF ME.
Now, make no mistake, every year has met me a BETTER human. I have been VERY INTENTIONAL about growth and investing in myself for as long as I can remember.
I have submitted to my mentors and leaders, read books, served my face off, denied myself, disciplined myself, and have been favored enough to see me get better and better, for which I am INCREDIBLY grateful.
However, since turning 35, it has been PHENOM!!!
Let me back track a bit
I had taken a 40-day Daniel/White Fast leading up to my birthday. I felt spiritually ready and even HEAVY WEIGHT for the new year and season coming. A new year doesn’t always mean a new season BUT I knew a new season beckoned.
Saints, once I entered JULY, the struggle was REAL
It was like the WHOLE of HELL camped at my feet.
I struggled!!! Through LITERALLY EVERYTHING. I think the only thing that continued to work was my home front, but who knows for how long.
On the outside, I was thriving ooo. In fact, may many wins, but because I have learned to be in touch with my core, I knew something was wrong.
I recall reading DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING by Carey Nieuwhof and where he spoke about BURNOUT, I knew I, as a Leader, was definitely tethering slowly BUT SURELY into BURNOUT.
I feared for myself, cos NATURALLY I am a hyper, joyful, achieving person.
Everything seemed like a drudgery, no matter how hard I tried.
I couldn’t even fast without feeling like I was pushing a stationary ROCK.
Hard. Hard. Hard.
Then I decided I would step back from EVERYTHING and take a one-week BREAK.
I started to plan towards it and decided that 2 weeks would be better, so I would even take the first week to REST as I was also TIRED.
Then by week 2, maybe I can start an audit to even know what is leading to how I felt.
Then the D-day came. I had planned it so well. Every commitment on pause for 2weeks.
The first 6 days, I left my phone off. It was a spontaneous decision so even my husband didn’t know till he got home the first day and was wondering why I was all day unreachable
I just knew I didn’t want to directly relate with any human; I wanted to tackle and argue my case with God.
As the second week came to a close, I knew God hadn’t even started with me so jumping back into life as it used to be would have been DEADLY.
So, I continued on the break, but I resumed coaching those already on my fitness program, as I couldn’t tell them I needed any more time. They had already graciously given me 2weeks.
However, I decided I wouldn’t start any new program or take on any new Clients until I knew what I was doing with my life sef.
That was MONEY I was saying NO to ooo, but a desperate woman was I. Money couldn’t even win.
The rest of my commitments, I went back and told them the whole of September was OFF for me. Let me sit with Jesus.
If I know anything about our God, it is that He doesn’t want anyone to put Him on a fixed schedule when what He really is trying to do is BE THE WHOLE SCHEDULE lol
So when I relaxed, even ready to extend behind September if He so desired, He started to RAIN down on me.
Drenched! Avalanched!! Saturated!!! Few words that poorly describe what He did as He spoke to me.
And because I will NEVER be able to fully explain all I have been through, I will just share 5 things
Ready, SET, Deliverance!!!
1. Never copy your MENTOR (or Pastor, Leader, etx) BLINDLY
Now, if you KNOW me, I am SO HERE for mentoring. I believe in the absolutely transformative power of being mentored and mentoring others.
However, as we have access to our teachers and mentors, whether distant or close, we see things that are working in their lives, and we love, so we copy WHOLESALE the WHAT, without knowing the WHY and the BACK STORY and all. So you uproot, wholesale, that isolated activity, plant in your life, and bam, you are frustrated, overwhelmed and/or disappointed.
Here are TWO things you can do instead
– If you have access, then ASK DIRECTLY the WHY and the back story. As people share this, you start to see beyond the ACTIONS to the PRINCIPLES, then you now know how to apply those PRINCIPLES to your own life.
– Ask the Holy Spirit to customize what it is you see from a distance, or you now know from asking, then you can apply and WIN too.
I have made mistakes like this in the past and I have seen people copy me too and fail.
Let’s follow Jesus, Saints, and men with a lot of wisdom.
2. A break is NOT the solution if…
Now this one is SO KEY because I have made this mistake over and over again, and have seen some Saints too make it. When we get overwhelmed, we just think a few days off is the solution.
Well, if you take those few days, or few weeks off for leave, and come back to the SAME rhythms and routines that led you to overwhelm before, then Saints, that’s a cross between foolishness and madness.
You can’t do the same thing, and expect different results.
I like how Carey Nieuwhof puts it in his book AT YOUR BEST
It is like telling an alcoholic not to drink on Thursdays
And how Juliet Funt puts it in her book A MINUTE TO THINK
Don’t change the tyres, FIX THE ROAD
(By the way, BOTH BOOKS CHANGED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR LIFE. I recommend, plus this YT video too)
The cure to that overwhelm, or stress or burnout is NOT A BREAK, but rather a STRATEGIC BREAK so that you can craft a more sustainable pace for your life.
The cure to an unsustainable life (or stress and overwhelm) is a SUSTAINABLE LIFE and that takes a lot of intentionality, not just a BREAK!!!
When you take that BREAK, if all you do is sleep and wake and Netflix and Chill, the same issue is waiting for you a few months down the line.
Instead, sit down and do the business of your life by looking at what is working, what needs to change, what wisdom gaps you have that need to be filled, then with prayer and resources, you can craft a new plan for your life, WHICH IS EXACTLY what I did.
Coming back from my break, NOT ONLY am I more EFFECTIVE, I am also doing this with SO MUCH JOY and ABSOLUTELY ZERO STRESS.
BEST PART, I WILL NEVER AGAIN find myself tethering toward burnout.
This Master Template works FOR LIFE!!!
3. Fight WILD!!!
Like you probably know, I lead a group of women called THE WILD WOMEN. You can find out more about us here
When I say fight WILD, I mean that we should not underestimate the intensity of our fight and the DESPERATION of our enemy.
And the dragon was angry at the woman and declared war against the rest of her children—all who keep God’s commandments and maintain their testimony for Jesus.REV 12 V 17 AND 18 NLT
Then the dragon took his stand[a] on the shore beside the sea.
In Chris Caine’s latest book HOW DID I GET HERE? She talks about how when some kind of mind battles come, as a result of her past, she writes down copious amount of scriptures and daily wars with them. The last one she wrote as she wrote that book was 80plus scriptures.
HAND WRITTEN, Saints
Over 80 scriptures
When she had cancer, she found 50plus scriptures on health in the Bible and WARRED with it.
Some of us have one scripture, pray for ONE day, and when we don’t see the answer, we get TIRED and angry at God then give up.
Now, I have permission to FIGHT WILD.
Once I sense any kind of nonsense battle coming, I gather scriptures and affirmations and paste every where so whenever I turn, I jam the WORD with my eyes, and then I speak it.
Then I also BREAK BREAD over it. There are days the fight is SO INTENSE that I take 3 different communions in ONE MORNING because I am DESPERATE to kill flesh!!!
Whatever you NEED to do to fight Saint, it is NEVER TOO MUCH because satan didn’t come to play with us.
LIKEA WILD WOMAN WHO KNOWS SHE IS HELPED BY GOD
4. Stay HUNGRY
Now this One is a revelation that has stayed hitting me, and In fact ONE THING I remind myself of several times a day is this,
Eziaha, INVEST MORE TIME with FEWER PEOPLE, HUNGRY PEOPLE
And then STAY HUNGRY
To feed a HUNGRY man is PURE JOY.
He is HUNGRY so he is not afraid, self conscious, proud, full of excuses, self-conscious, etx
Once he finds food, or knows where to get food, HE GOES AFTER IT.
Reminds me of the 4 lepers at the gate
2 Kings 7
3 Now there were four men with leprosy[c] sitting at the entrance of the city gates. “Why should we sit here waiting to die?” they asked each other. 4 “We will starve if we stay here, but with the famine in the city, we will starve if we go back there. So we might as well go out and surrender to the Aramean army. If they let us live, so much the better. But if they kill us, we would have died anyway.”
Oh, to feed a hungry man.
To be a HUNGRY man.
If you try to feed a man who is NOT hungry, you will be FRUSTRATED as a Leader.
They will give you excuses, waste the food, tell you it is not sweet, ask for a nicer plate, wonder why you didn’t add more curry, complain of the temperature, and so on.
I have SUFFERED trying to feed people like that.
Which is why now, I am RESOLVED to LOVE EVERYONE but give, INVEST my time, MORE with hungry people.
While staying HUNGRY too.
PS: CURIOUSITY is NOT HUNGER because as a Leader especially, you need to be able to discern between those who are just CURIOUS and are looking for GIST. They will despise your ‘food’, criticize it, and say bad things about you, because they were not hungry anyways. I should do a dedicated post on HUNGER.
5. Stop JUMPING around!!!
Now this is another key one because our generation lacks patient and wants INSTANT RESULTS on everything. So we cannot STICK TO A THING for long until results come, instead if we don’t see results in TWO MINUTES, we are off to the newest RESULTS-BRINGING merchant in town.
You see it in our work life, jumping from job to job purely led by your flesh.
We see it in our physical disciplines, eg weight loss. You want a pill, a slimming tea and all WHILE eating crap. HEAVENS FORBID you take the long route of ACTUALLY EATING CLEAN and WORKING OUT!!!
We see it in our relationships… rather than sow those seeds and keep watering it, if you are sure it is good ground, we uproot our seeds and take it to another soil, that hopefully brings us a harvest overnight.
We see it in our spiritual life, which I already covered in FIGHT LIKE A WILD WOMAN!!!
Lets stop this, and if you are a LEADER and have people like this on your team, consider
1. Taking them out completely (see the point number 4)
2. Investing LESS to NO time with them. Set up systems around them if they have to stay on the team that ensures that.
You really don’t need that extra work. It will drain, demotivate and affect your soul!!!
So that’s 5 of what I wanna share that have really helped me UPGRADE my life exponentially!!!
I truly can’t believe just how different I am NOW, and I truly want you, DESPERATELY, to experience all I am experiencing AND MORE, especially if you are a LEADER!!!
Let me know if there are any life lessons you too wanna share with Saints too so we can all grow together
Also, which one resonates MOSTLY with you? Which would you be applying NOW?
Remember, the blessing is not in knowing, BUT IN DOING so cheers to DOING
GOD IS GOOD!!!
With so much CHEER
If you have some time. I have two other posts this week on my Fitness and Domestic Queen blogs. You can find them here
5 reasons to make FASTING a part of your JOURNEY to WHOLENESS