Been a bit of a minute here and I am actually working on MY LIFE, so that I can post at least ONCE a week.
That would be great.
Ok so I have been thinking of this post for some days now. It really is my story, and I have WORKED through it and still working, but I have PERMISSION from MY BOSS to share. Jesus that is.
So let’s blog while I am logged into my e-church with my AMAZING Pastor Steven Furtick live from the Ballantyne Campus of ELEVATION CHURCH, Charlotte.
He will be done before I am done, but I should be done BEFORE we gotta step out for Cell meeting at 6. I will keep this short!!!
So most of you KNOW that I shut down my IG, and then some 4weeks or so ago, I logged out of Twitter. I KNOW that IG was a CLEAR instruction from God, but I think Twitter was just ME, wanting to declutter. I am pretty BRUTAL with myself cos I am working on A LOT OF THINGS so if I need to lay down an Isaac, or even Ishmael, I will lay it down at the altar. I could choose to log back into Twitter but frankly, NO TIME. But IG, Good Lord, the LORD was not even playing with me.
In retrospect, having passed a test, I now know why He led me to shut down Instagram. And it lies in the title of this blog post…
I had started to BLUR the lines between MY JOURNAL where I get to pour out my heart to Him, MY GODLY FRIENDSHIPS with whom I get to confess my sins and get to hear the TRUTH about my stinking behavior and MY SOCIAL MEDIA, which was fast replacing both.
You see, I LOVED my IG posts cos they were really inspiring and blessing people. My DM was brimming, and so was my inbox. But somewhere along the way, a LOT of self started to take some of the glory. My flesh wanted some CRAZY validation, and I started to post FROM THAT MOTIVE. You see, the actions were SAME, but the motives were wrong. I am reminded of this Scripture which Paul shared in Philippians 1. I first heard it from Pastor Tunde Bakare, when he came to my then Church, Fountain of Life, after Pastor Bimbo Odukoya died and there was some rubbish being spoken about her.
15 It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. 16 The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17 The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
So YES, I was preaching Christ yeah? But the motives were wrong.
And do you know what the difference is? Others will be blessed BUT I will NOT be BLESSED!!! Gosh, isn’t it CRAZY how the Lord looks ON THE HEART and not just what I am posting.
When I shut down, a lot of people were like AH, but you were REALLY inspiring a lot of people, and we were so blessed, so why did you shut down? Someone actually said ‘…and you were just about to become an Instagram celeb and then you shut down like that…’
It made me laugh haha.
And feel cool too, but not just from what she said, but my obedience.
So now, not deviating from the blog title, once I learned that I DIDN’T HAVE TO POST EVERYTHING, because frankly there was NO WHERE to post, I started to TRULY press into Jesus. Like REEEEALLLLY in!!! I started to EAT, DIGEST, and ABSORB everything I read, without the PRESSURE of POST IT POST IT, IT WILL BLESS SOMEONE, etx. My journaling became REAL cos I stayed A LOT with the WORD until it literally WRECKED and then got my life all the way together again. I spent TIME with the Word. I poured my entire life OUT on my journal. As He corrected me, I repented, even where it was painful. It was DEEP, RAW and REAL. I started to change. Like REALLY CHANGE and NOT FOR THE ‘GRAM. I used to pride myself as being one who journals. Gosh, I didn’t start REALLY journaling until recently.
And then as I journaled, He would lead me to GODLY relationships to share my struggles, SINS, disobedience, comparisons, and all with. They didn’t LIKE my ‘posts’ cos I was REAL in my confessions. Someone like Aijay for instance will just say ONE THING that will SET me straight literally. Or is it my Vee who would be like ‘Honey, wait ooo,…’ then DROP A TRUTH that will get my life ALL THE WAY TOGETHER.
I felt like once I started to share LESS online and MORE with JESUS and ENGAGE with my godly and REAL relationships, healing in areas I had struggled with started to occur and my prayers became REAL.
Recently, someone asked in a group I belong to what prayer means to us individually. I didn’t post but in my private answer, I said PRAYER TO ME IS A SPIRITUAL CHECK UP. The last person you wanna lie to is your Doctor. It doesn’t harm him, it HARMS ME!!! So you better be giving FULL DISCLOSURE. That’s where the Lord and I are at right now and hey, I AM HERE FOR IT.
Matter of fact, this Chilllllllle (in SJR’s voice) came LATE TO THE PARTY.
So hey, now that I am BUTT NAKED with my journey, I hope you are inspired to ask yourself too if you KNOW the difference between YOUR JOURNAL, Your GODLY FRIENDSHIPS and YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA.
Like these memes say about deleting Instagram
Well, imagine that they delete social media, would you still feel like you are REAL to yourself?
Ok Pastor Steven is done preaching (AND I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE YOUTUBE UPLOAD. Love how He linked OBEDIENCE, THE DOVE AND PEACE in the first message of the series SAVAGE JESUS), ManU has won, Hubby is happy and eating his delicious lunch
(he refused to eat until the game was over) and Lingard is trending with WAKANDA FOREVER salutation after scoring.
Ok, I am off to cell meeting…
Have a blessed week guys.