Time check: 09:15pm
Let’s see how fast I can type, with the very welcome distraction of Chimamanda and Chigurl on YouTube… Today was just intense, I almost considered not blogging…
Yay for the very last post in the August 31 Fruitful series… How amazing. I didn’t miss a day.
Yay also for a September baby. Baby boy is gonna pop in the 9th month.
Whoop!!! My Besto Valerie was just telling me yesterday that it is me that cucu used my mouth to carry this baby into September cos I used to sing that from the beginning. But then again, KingDaveed was due Feb 23 and showed March 10. This baby was due August 26 and will most likely show before the end of first week in September. Let’s just say that even my babies are EXTRA…
‘You are soooo extra…’
That was something my friend Tani jokingly and lovingly said to me in the course of planning my BABY SHOWER and as she said that and I laughed, I felt the Holy spirit just told me to take that and internalize it very well, because I was beginning to lose my EXTRA.
I was starting to, sadly, REDUCE myself again because somethings were just too much, not for me, but for people.
I still recall how small it made me feel when someone referred to my prayer life IN A PUBLIC EVENT as though my own was too much and how she is definitely not like me and so people didn’t have to.
Now that statement in itself is NOT wrong, because you should not copy Eziaha as she is NOT the standard or ‘formula’, but the way she said it cut deep. I truly felt like
‘Girl, your own is too much, TONE DOWN…’
With my second pregnancy too, I had started to tone down a bit.
Yes, this journey the second time around was different with so many pictures to show,
I still somehow felt like I needed to TONE DOWN my amazing testimony because after all, I didn’t have to deal with so many challenges like some preggos deal with.
That voice really made me delay starting SAVED FIT & PREGNANT. It didn’t matter that God was calling me into something as a COMMAND, but I felt abeg my own was too much and I needed to CHILL talk less of now getting other preggos on board.
But what a LIE!!! If anything, these pictures should show that I TOTALLY had to be SUPER DISCIPLINED!!! And it was HARD!!!
Oh, I thought my DISCIPLINED LIFE was too EXTRA. Why was I putting all this measures on myself? Why was I staying awake to work on my life night after night? Why was I spending hours on my face in prayers? Why was I so disciplined with my workouts and food? Why did I give so much to my coaching and even social media posts? Why am I crazy about books? Why go the FULL HOG and then THE EXTRA MILE when I have to do ANYTHING no matter what? WHY SUCH AN EXTRA LIFE? I began to feel like in this age of millenials, and trust me, I have dealt with MANY and have seen people just live SLOPPY lives and they consider it NORMAL, Eziaha, please CALM DOWN!!!
Millenials need not be so EXTRA…
My EXTRA was too intimidating!!! It didn’t help that I would also get emails and messages that showed that I was quite intimidating, by paying some funny backhanded compliments, and it would hurt me because I truly wanna INSPIRE not INTIMIDATE!!!
Oh I would find myself reducing myself sometimes in a group because I didn’t wanna seem too much for anyone. Trust me, there was always an internal debate within. Sadly it started to show in some areas of my life… As always, I started to pray about it cos I needed to be sure I was normal, and sadly, I was starting to lose friendships on some levels because my EXTRA was beginning to ISOLATE me naturally. I just couldn’t cope because I felt I was being slowed down…
Then one day, I random played the very first session of PROPEL WOMEN curriculum, and I heard something I had maybe missed before from CHRISTINE CAINE, a super duper EXTRA Chick…
‘…I don’t care if anyone is INTIMIDATED by me, but i decided that I was not going to REDUCE myself FOR ANYONE ANYMORE, but rather I will be FAITHFUL TO THE CALL OF GOD OVER MY LIFE. If anyone wants to be intimidated, they can go right ahead…’
(Not her exact words quoted but something like so…)
Oh my gosh, I rewound, and rewound and rewound. God had sent me my answer in Chris.
Some of us are just EXTRA!!! But God works with our EXTRA especially if He is the one powering it. To REDUCE my EXTRA is to reduce the potential and call upon my life. Oh my gosh, I was being DISOBEDIENT to God by reducing myself and not being HUMBLE like I thought.
Can you imagine Chris NOT being Christine Caine in full? Can you imagine her being any less PASSIONATE and EXTRA? Would she affect lives like so? She had dealt with being seen as EXTRA, reduced herself and then learned to OWN HER EXTRA!!!
Does Chris intimidate people? YOU BET your bottom Dollar on that!!! But it is NOT her fault and it is certainly NOT a reason to REDUCE HER EXTRA, because that EXTRA inspires literally millions worldwide. But those who are intimidated are louder, and they show up in cunning, backhanded ways.
Oh it reset my head that day. I decided to OWN my EXTRA. Many are inspired by it and many more will be, and above all, my being EXTRA is in obedience to God. Simples!!!
I also started to hang around many more EXTRA chicks so that i didn’t seem crazy. Infact these Chicks made me feel NORMAL not even EXTRA and gave me something to aspire to constantly (Hello Sarah JAKES ROBERTS!!!)
And truly, I have grown ooo. You know, in the past 7 days, I have had two people make me feel like my EXTRA was just a bit too much, but my reaction tripped me. I just encouraged them to do their very best according to their seasons, STRETCHED BUT IN THEIR LANES, and not even aspire to do like Eziaha. It doesn’t even make any sense so I wasn’t affected biko.
At my baby shower, that was what I shared to the ladies there AFTER it seemed like (from their speeches) my EXTRA was the attraction for them in my life. In this 31st year and beyond, I don’t intend any more to tone down my EXTRA!!!
I will PROUDLY OWN MY EXTRA!!!
Bring it on baby…
I am HERE TO BE EXTRA, only as much as it is in obedience to God and hopefully, we are inspired and not intimidated.
See yawl in September and thank you for flying with me all through the month.
Has been quite a ride…
Kisses and group hug
Time check: 10.20pm. Such a short time yay!!! But it should take me another 30mins to edit layout and attach pictures!!! Hitting publish at 10.50 imagine haha