This post is a continuation of a previous so did you miss Part 1? Catch up here.
Ok so we have talked about being purposeful as a single before you are found, and I shared a part of my single journey in the first part.
So now I am married, and I was still serving anyways
so he lived in Bonny and I in Lagos, rounding up NYSC.
Service concluded and I KNEW like I knew my name that I wasn’t wasting time applying to various places, but my focus would be on the UN. Hubby and I too had agreed that we would love to settle down in Abuja, so a couple of months after NYSC, I packed up and moved to Abuja to get my UN job by faith. That testimony is here as I would later land it.
I’m like yup, all is working out well, even though we are still apart, I was flying down to Bonny island often, and then I got pregnant, and after less than 6months on the job, I had to quit because we could not of course afford to have the baby in Abuja where I was staying with a family and it wasn’t the most convenient.
Had to move to Lagos to have the baby and I was fine at the time because having been in the system, and made an amazing impact, the opps to get back in was high, so I was like ok after this baby, I will sha find my way back.
Months after the baby, hubby starts to sing a different song lol. He didn’t think I should go back to Abuja but if I wanted to go back to work, to find something in LAGOS, but in the meantime, join him in Bonny as a family unit in one place. LIVID doesn’t qualify my feelings. LIVID, LET DOWN, DISAPPOINTED, HEARTBROKEN etc. It took Rev’s intervention for me to agree, and that my people was how I lost sense of everything that Eziaha once was. I ate to fill what was empty inside of me and got fatter.
I started to compare and contrast my life wit everyone else, compared my marriage and my husband to everyone on social media, nagged and griped a lot, quarreled with my husband like daily, had like two occasions where I was even violent, locked him out like twice (once he had to break the door to gain access in) and so on. It just seemed like being this guy’s wife had robbed me of life and every sense of purpose. Comparison is indeed a GAME FOR FOOLS and I was holding the Champion’s gold medal in it. Until God literally swooped in, and taught me this simple lesson…
LIFE IS IN SEASONS!!!
Dear wife, the purpose of your marriage and how you build is unique to you!!! You don’t discover purpose on social media, or from peer/family pressure. How does God want YOU to fulfill PURPOSE as you BUILD your home based on your own SEASON??? This is a question you can only answer as you spend crazy amounts of time with Him and turn off social media. You may even need to shut down some friends too. In that season for me, we didn’t have a lot of money, so I had to make do with whatever hubby gave me. I recall we were looking for a home and I was looking in areas that he couldn’t afford but because I wanted to be close to the ‘center of town’ lol, I encouraged him to borrow if he had to, to make us live there. I mean I was putting that dude under pressure, always demanding this and that, and God knows Bolaji was really trying to make life a bit happier for me cos he knew I had made the job sacrifice for the family, but then again, that was the wise thing to do. I’m o thankful God whooped me before he borrowed any nonsense money for rent, and frustrated every house search until he brought us the current one we live in. Mehn, I still recall how we got it, and when he told me and sent me pix, I was like the house is fine ooo, BUT I cant live so far, where is Isheri? How will I say I live in a place so far off from everyone? I had so many reservations. It was my besto Valerie who had to caution me that all this it is far I am singing, FAR FROM WHERE? Plus if anybody WANTED to come see you, they would come, and anyone who said it was far for them didn’t have to. She would ultimately be the FIRST friend that visited me, and even spent the night. Ah God bless Valerie.
Plus the cumulative cost of rent and more was less than hubby’s house budget. Imagine. I love that God helps us even in our stupidity, because in this my home, FAR FROM THE WORLD lol, God looked at me, started and established CoachE’Squad with my own PERSONAL weight loss story.
I had very little distractions and interations from family and friends so I deepened my relationship with God and as He spoke, I could hear him and receive the courage needed to start.
I wish I can tell you just how this business changed my life and gave us a better standard of living as a family. I wish I could. In my 30-31-30 Devotional, I talk about how even our physical location can affect purpose. If you are planted in the wrong place physically, you can actually miss out on God. God told me to call my new home REHOBOTH which means GOD HAS MADE ROOM FOR ME AND I WILL BE FRUITFUL HERE…
Social media almost ruined my marriage because I didn’t stop comparing and wanting for what we could not yet afford. I had to LEARN (thank YOU JESUS) how to abase and abound, live in small and be prudent, manage my family finances and keep my focus on Jesus. More than anything, I sharpened my spiritual senses and learned to HEAR GOD BETTER. Like I said, there were friends I had to cut off. Those who were not right for my season, went. Those whose words and stories were planting seeds in my heart, went. I had to guard my heart fiercely, and learn to love FROM A DISTANCE.
I shut down social media too. I couldn’t handle it all. I didn’t wanna be always bamboozled with things I could not afford to do in my season so I shut down. I literally gave my entire life to Christ and He gave me back my life even better. I became a better wife, mom and human, those wilderness seasons grew me up. You know, in CONVERSATIONS with John and Lisa, the latest podcasts have been on the wilderness seasons and I love that they named it HOW GOD GROWS US UP… I love how they share their challenges and all, and it reminded me of how hearing someone like Joyce Meyer share her early marriage days and how broke they were, how they couldn’t afford a vacation, had a very strict budget such that if anything was even a dollar more costly, she had to adjust her budget, how for an entire year she couldn’t buy ONE NEW DRESS for herself, etc. yet look at Mama Joyce today. I am talking Private jet, indelible global influence and everything.
I saw Heather share how they had rice and eggs every night for dinner, lived in a dingy apartment, etc. yet look at them today. I clung to the testimonies of these ones who spoke strength to my own current season and helped me to see that it would pass too.
I was no longer envious of any body, and frankly today, your material things don’t trip me. I am not rolling around in millions YET but I have such a strong sense of PURPOSE and GOD that money and the ilk are not strong enough to shake.
One thing God told me that I never forget….
WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE NOW, YOU CAN HAVE AND ENJOY LATER…
I am HAPPY for those who have and enjoy more now but as a wife, mom and daughter of God, I stay on my lane and trust Him to do mine in the right season while I fully immerse in and enjoy my current season, and still stay fruitful.
This has definitely gone different than I intended but I know God wanted it to be shared this way. I don’t know to what purpose God has called you as a wife, and what season you are in currently as a family, but to fully immerse in and walk in that season, and be FRUITFUL there, you would have to RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO COMPARE another chick’s marriage with yours. It would require that you sit with and partner with God to show you how exactly to build in such a way that PURPOSE manifests in your life and home.
This is my story, of how I lost it and God helped me to find it again. My prayer is that you and God author your own story in a way that brings peace, fulfillment, fruitfulness and joy to your life as a person first, a wife, a mom and a child of God here for impact…
The third part will focus on my current season and I love something God has especially taught me here. See you tomorrow…