I wanna just jump in a do a quick post because this really hurts my heart, especially that the enemy is just sowing all manners of drama and discord into the hearts of some of God’s daughters.
There are really THREE reasons I am writing this
- That you fiercely GUARD YOUR HEART.
- That you fix your eyes on HIM alone.
- You know just how to PRAY BETTER for your Leaders, Pastors and Mentors.
Ok so last week was a pretty much interesting one for me, in that, for some reason, I got attacked some, in rather funny ways.
First, with my business. I had 2 or 3 people who just seemed to attack me for the funniest of reasons, but let’s move on from that.
Second, I had a friend, and someone I see like a younger sister, even if just virtually, send me a message saying that she felt bad that I didn’t publicize her program even after she repeatedly asked me to, and the event didn’t go as she expected and so she was dealing with some kind of offence and stuff.
That message was more like a confession, not really an attack, but my heart broke that the devil would make anyone take their eyes off our ONLY SOURCE, and The ONE who promised to NEVER leave us nor forsake us, and cause us to start to look at humans.
Deut 31v6b… for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Now, the deal is, she had an event, and she wanted me to talk about it on SM, and I promised to. Now, in that season, I was working through some stuff in my life, that required that I shut down social media activities, so even though I told my Assistant to help me post it, she somehow posted the WRONG thing, and by the time I checked social media, the event had passed. I felt bad but there was really not much I could do at the point. So when I got her message, I was like WOW!!! Satan is just a bastard!!! So friggin’ what if Eziaha did NOT publicize your event? What has Eziaha even got to do with anything!!!??? The fact that anyone would feel bad about that means that you have obviously taken your eyes OFF GOD and are putting it on man that is here today and gone tomorrow…
Psalm 103v5 Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die…
Let me drive this home. I run a business, I have an App, a Blog, I host various programs and several other things that I could definitely DO WITH ALL manner of publicity for, especially from my friends, BUT I NEVER EVER CHARGE THEM IF THEY DON’T PUBLICIZE IT. I AM NOT EVEN LOOKING TO THEM. If they come in and support, FINE!!! If they don’t, no wahala at all. We cannot continue to charge people to be this or that to us, we can just accept them the way they are, and hope for the relationship to get better and better. And then we put our eyes on God. No human relationship should have that pressure foundation, where I feel like I have to do this or that for you, before I can truly relate with you. Now don’t get me wrong, that is not to say that we have zero expectations in our relationships, or never ask for a favor or three. Nope. Of course relationships thrive when we mutually contribute something, BUT where the issue happens when we have UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS of people that they would ALWAYS be there for us, and jump in on board whatever thing we are doing. That’s actually unfair, and frankly a laugh. Only ONE person has promised to ALWAYS be there for us.
Mathew 28v20… And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
No other human has the power to BE THAT THERE. For one, we all have the issues that are grappling for our attention, so we don’t have it in us to be JESUS (Savior) to the world.
The crazy thing is as I write this, I am just smiling because I used to be the One who had high expectations, and got high off the feedback and support of many. It didn’t help that I have a lot of friends and people who generally wanna do nice stuff for me. And then God took me through intense situations that weaned me, so to say, of my dependence on people, just like you wean a child off breast milk. I didn’t even KNOW that I had that issue. I had to let go of people expectations and lean wholly on God, and I tell you, NOTHING IS MORE BEAUTIFUL TO BEHOLD. Like my life right now is full of peace, and then I can build even richer relationships, devoid of pressure and stupid expectations.
That is not to say that the enemy doesn’t come every once in a while to sow seeds. Of course we can bet our bottom dollar that he sure does, but I always cast those thoughts down in Jesus name, and remind myself that I am COMPLETE in HIM and in no one else do I have the promise of ALWAYS BEING THERE.
So after I got that message from that Chick, I told her I would ring her, and then I did. And took my time to share with her how we
- Take that pressure off humans
- Take that pressure OFF ourselves.
- Look to HIM alone.
Anything less means setting ourselves up for heartaches and FAILURE, simples.
In fact, one of the things I felt the Holy Spirit calling me into as I turn 31 is to refrain from the term BEST FRIEND. And if anyone has noticed, I have dropped that term. I actually now see everyone as my friends, even though in levels, and make the most of every friendship because the simple truth is, some if not most are seasonal. It is when you start to tag such appellations to people that you now start having high expectations.
‘My FRIEND’, simples, and all is well with the world
And then the third thing happened to me that my first reaction was to BLOCK the person, because it was utter ridiculousity.
So I am on my way from my session at Reckitt Benckiser,
having trained their Staff for two days back to back on wellness and healthy living, I was super tired, my car had broken down on one stupid road, I was HUNGRY, my son was home alone with my care giver, and I couldn’t reach them over the phone, and of course it was past his bedtime and I LOVE to always put him to bed, and just stuck in the middle of nowhere AND TRAFFIC!!! Here I am waiting for another Uber and then I get this incredible message. I have to share a screen shot…
The FIRST thing I am thinking is
Oh my gosh, which of my FRIENDS lost their Popsie and Eziaha didn’t even care!!!
Now this was a number that was NOT stored on my contacts, so I assumed somehow, previous convo would help me trace identity, so I scrolled all the way up, through my many broadcasts, as that was even my official line. I see that this Chick and I had ONE conversation that went like
Her: This is my email address. Will holler when I am ready
Me: Oky doks
Her: Thank you
And that was all.
Immediately, I knew it had to be a Client who had called me over the phone, and when they wanna join my class, I just tell them to send me their email and I will pass robust info to them. Now this Chick wasn’t even ready so I didn’t have cause to chat with her again. Then scrolling further down, I notice TWO fliers had been sent to me which I didn’t download, as my Whatsapp wont auto download if a contact is not stored. Recall, this number wasn’t stored and all I got was a flier, with no additional info accompanying it. Of course the first thing I think is that it is a broadcast of maybe a church program or an ad, so I didn’t bother to open. Even then, I didn’t bother downloading but at that point, I knew the fliers, sent back to back, were for a burial ceremony.
Now, while I agree that losing your dad is a big deal and painful, and it would be good to have comfort and succor from men, I didn’t think it was fair to attack me like that, without even considering what is going on in my own life too. Or even being sure that I got your message. All of a sudden, my Christianity is under question, and I am being compared, and given a lower ranking to unbelievers.
I didn’t have time to think. I just blocked the human, because UP UNTIL THEN, I STILL DIDN’T KNOW THIS PERSON, and then the intention was malicious and personal.
I just moved on, neither perturbed nor in doubt of my beautiful faith and salvation.
Then two days later, in my prayer place, as I just opened my heart before my Father and asked Him to work some things through with me as I was struggling, He somehow drifted this Chick back to me and said I also needed to call her just as I decided to call the first Chick, because some people just don’t know better. I am like OK… anything for you Lord. Haha. At the same time, the Holy Spirit told me Chick 1 would understand and Chick 2 would NOT, but I would have sown a seed and kept my heart’s garden pure.
So I rang her too, now with my personal number WHICH OF COURSE SHE DIDN’T HAVE, because that would have made me even gauge the level of relationship we have. I introduce myself, very formally, and I instantly feel a guard come up from her. Then I say I am sorry about your dad, and I saw your Whatsapp messages, and I would like to know who is speaking because that number wasn’t stored.
She was surprised, and was like Ok since I don’t know, no wahala now. So I calmly explained to her that she drew her conclusions, based on assumption, washed and dried me, when all the while I didn’t even have an idea. She now confirmed what I said that she called me about weight loss, even mentioned her sister who knew me, and more. And that she sent me that flier TWICE and it showed that I read it, yet no single condolence.
You see the foolish assumptions of social media? I see you online on Whatsapp, or see the single mark move from double, to blue and I ASSUME it has been read and received.
I see you posting on Facebook or IG and then I assume that the DM or inbox you sent to me has been read and been ignored.
I send you a text or email, and if I don’t get a reply in 2seconds, I believe that you are ignoring me and your Christianity is suddenly up for questioning and judgment.
Asides from technology not being perfect, and our phones (and babies lol) opening what we didn’t even see, we should be willing to make excuses for people, and believe the best about them before drawing conclusion. I like to say that unless you said something to me LIVE and DIRECT, we are NEVER SURE if our messages have been received. Communication is two-pronged – Giving AND receiving, and because social media provides an avenue to communicate doesn’t mean that it is PERFECT!!!
It makes me laugh when people even tell me things like didn’t you see what I have been posting on social media since? And I am like HUN, I DO NOT EVEN SEE WHAT I, EZIAHA, AM POSTING ON SOCIAL MEDIA, talk less of anyone else.
I mean except you are Christine Caine, Heather Lindsey or any of my 10,000 teachers, I AM SORRY, I DO NOT SEE!!! And so that expectation is laughable.
Anyways, back to the Chick. She assumed that I read them because the line stayed blue, but it stayed blue because I opened it, to reduce my unread/unopened chats, but didn’t download a flier that even had no text, and from an unstored number. I mean, it could be spam, porn or anything else and we gotta guard our hearts. I even asked her if she knew what I was dealing with in my own life at the mo’. *crickets*
She seemed adamant, and even said she was so surprised and told her sister sef who said no mind them ooo, that’s how these people are. Of course, I told her, very calmly and politely, that she doesn’t get a call to judge my amazing and beautiful relationship with God so it didn’t matter what she or anyone thought, thank God.
And that was my cue to end the convo. I had made my point. I further ended the conversation with my condolences and prayers that God comforts the family.
And I still didn’t get a name!!!
Was really funny. It IS actually funny. How someone can place all that burden on someone, but it stopped being funny when I realized the kind of pressure people like Pastors and Leaders in the Faith are under to always perform. If small lirru me can be attacked like so, and I do get some mails like that which are quick to mention my faith and put a huge question mark on it (I never reply lol), I can’t imagine what my Pastors go through, and then these people who have huge international platforms. Wow!!! It must be HUGE!!!
Like a friend said, people expect that once you are brazen about your faith, people expect you to move around with huge wings complete with a halo. They expect that you should never make a mistake, and be there for everyone. That burden is even greater for those on the frontline.
Sad sad sad!!!
We want them to pack up their lives and move into your own house because you lost your job. You want to take up ALL their time explaining your situation to them and expect that they spend ONE hour with you on the phone giving personalized counsel, because you are too lazy to go buy the book or sermon where they talked in depth about it.
They mourn with you when you lose someone, but God forbid they don’t check with you on the first anniversary too, complete with card and hanky.
Yawl let’s not be ridiculous abeg. Men of God are also and first MEN, and so we can’t put stupid pressure on them, or ourselves, or anyone. One thing you need to know is that your Pastors don’t stop praying over you, not even because of you but because they have a responsibility from God to do so. They may not minister to you in the way that you want all the time, but they are definitely praying, and as God leads them, they act.
Now I pray better for my mentors and pastors and teachers because that attack is real mehn. I certainly don’t pray that the attacks stop, but I pray that they stay focused on the work because there is a dying world, devoid of your drama, that needs to see Jesus.
No wonder Paul always urged his people to PRAY FOR HIM.
Now scroll up and read the reason why I posted this.
Don’t ask me why I shared screen shots, because I was careful to leave names and details out, and do NOT send me mails or comments asking me questions or advising me. I won’t even open them before deleting, EVEN IF YOUR SUBJECT IS PLEASE OPEN AND READ. The stupid presumption in the world today, especially with Millennials, is amazing; I should do an entire post on that. And certainly do not bring your drama to my comments or my page, because I will BLOCK YOU IN LOVE!!!
What to do instead? Pray that if I need correction, God checks my heart however He wants to and keep it moving…
Let’s get busy about our Father’s business and leave drama, strife and of course PRESSURE alone.
And yay, you can now pre-order my devotional.
Download link to Reader App here
and then these two posts have more details
You gotta download the App here first. The final devotional will be available on May 29, that is next Monday so spread the word please, but hey NO PRESSURES, because I got my eyes on HIM!!! And Angels are so real.
And hey, just to pre-empt June’s TFS Academy and Powwow, I would be turning my focus, as God led me, to the younger generation 16 to 20 year olds only. Powwow 4.0 is actually with E’ and F!!!
Funto Ibuoye and I will be hosting powwow together and be teaching these young-uns what mentoring and godly friendship should be like, beyond all the drama we have today. Will take in 31 chicks only as it is my birthday edition and I am turning 31!!!
And then TFS would be for the same age bracket, but for those outside Lagos. I will share more details later.