I am super excited about this post because I am sharing lessons from my life with wives and moms. I realised that in my circle these days are a lot of young wives, new moms and stay-at-home ladies, and as we interact, I feel a divine need to share some in a post.
Stick around tho even if you don’t fall into any of the above category. You would defo learn a thing or three. Plus you can share post with others who might need it.
So like yawl know, after I had my baby, I quit work, relocated, and became a FT stay-at-home mom and work-from-home mom in transit.
It has been plenty challenging, especially considering the kinda person I have always been plus the future I chose for myself as a high-faluting career woman, but one thing and one thing alone has made it easier… God told me to!!!
On this rather interesting journey, I have learnt a lot. And I have GROWN!!! Oh I have so grown and matured tz just beautiful. Just walking the journey with Him has never thrown up a dull moment. I have learned and continue to learn but I am inspired by the Holy Spirit to blog and share what I have learned so far…
You don’t have to agree with everything I say but it is my prayer that the Holy spirit, THE TEACHER, takes all of this and customizes it to your own reality.
7tips for the Domestic Queen…
1. Start your day early.
Don’t give in to always sleeping in and waking up at 10am or later just because you don’t have an ‘official’ resumption time. Personally, I learned that I get a good start to my day and then ultimately have a productive day when I wake at 5/6 unlike when I wake at 8. Or later. Like my Rev says ‘Champions seize their day early’.
So be intentional about starting your day on time and not just staying in bed all morning. And that goes without saying ‘early to bed’ too when you can help it.
2. Have a schedule.
Don’t just let the day happen by.
Write down what and what you wanna achieve that day and tick boxes as you accomplish them.
If you are casual about the day, you might end up checking LIB and watching Africa Magic all day. Personally, I recommend you include some PDP in your day. That’s Personal Development Programs. Say read a book, apply for jobs(if you are staying home for a while only), take Coursera free/premium courses, update your CV, Google and do some research on parenting, life, entrepreneurship, and your career so you are not totally out of touch, just do something (anything) that makes you a better person than when you woke. Might I also add that you read sensible blogs like mine, Inthe’s, Iplus, Dr. N, JUG, etc.
3. Be mindful of ‘mindless actvities’
Especially social media, TV and movies.
I think this is a HUGE challenge with stay-at-home mamas. There is the inclination to be on Twitter, browse Facebook, check IG, watch Telemundo/Zee world/AfMag and repeat cycle till 9pm. Sweetie, you really DO NOT need to follow any new telenovella that debuts. Internet is so affordable these days but it doesn’t mean you have to stream all those movies on YouTube, Netflix and IrokoTV. Be wise. Keep entertainment minimal. Don’t let it all overwhelm you please. Use your Internet wisely. There is a well of resources to access online that would change your life so please engage your mind right.
4. Watch your diet.
Oh this one is HUGE. Because you are fully home, chances are your mouth keeps moving all the time especially as you watch those movies… chin chin, puff puff, chicken, minerals (lol), juice, rice, garri, gala, biscuit, sausage, bread, tea with milo, etc.
You just keep eating. And you don’t workout even if minimally. Can I be truthful with yawl? It was this stereotype of ‘fat housewife just sitting home eating her husband’s money‘ that made me give loosing weight EVERYTHING!!! Someone had already implied it when she saw me (not in a rude way tho) and I said MBA, not E’. I might be a Domestic Queen but i’ma be one HOT mama, thank you very much!!!
So please eat right, in moderation and get some exercise in often. Even as little as 30min walks daily.
5. Don’t belittle your role. YOU ARE PRICELESS
I did this a whole lot. I would beat myself up that I wasn’t making ‘regular money’ all I do is change diapers and stuff. I would be so grumpy and sad. But God worked wella on me, hallelujah!!!
Darling, if you are making this sacrifice because of your baby, I don’t know many things that top it.
I recall my MIL came visiting once when KingDaveed was 9months and after a couple of hours, she started hailing me that this boy is a FULL TIME JOB ooo. My son has ENERGY tz incredible. And God has really helped me with him because his health, growth, development, etc has been perfect!!! Praise God.
You dear mom are doing a GREAT job. Don’t let anyone belittle what you are doing. You may NOT be bringing in the money but hunnay, you are saving your home a lot of money(and I will share some ways later in the post). Plus you are doing one of life’s greatest jobs, impacting the next generation.
Like a dear friend told me, enjoy doing this and let your kids see and feel you enjoying it, not having them think they are a distraction to your life. God forbid!!! How would you like to have your life withOUT the child??? #Perspectivecheck
5. Take occasional baby/child free breaks!!!
Mommy day-outs are a MUST. You need to relax and refuel. You will burn out if you don’t. At least, once or twice a month. If you can do it weekly, please do. Get someone to babysit or engage the grandparents for a weekend and enjoy some me-time. With friends? Even better. Catch a drink.
See a movie. Browse the mall. Shop. Drive around town. Visit a friend. Buy something nice for YOU. Go to the spa. Attend a wedding/party. Whatever. Even if all you can afford is a long walk while talking on the phone to your bestie or sis. Just take some time out to do YOU!!!
Just last week, I was telling one of my dear friends that we pay way too many sacrifices, deprive ourselves of a lot so our babies and men and home are more comfy yet neglect ourselves. There is a thin line between prudence and sufferhead ooo. Don’t cross it.
Spend on yourself too cos YOU MATTER!!!
Got this term from my mama Joyce. Honey, sometimes you have planned out the PERFECT day but a blip occurs early in the day and messes it all up. Or maybe your baby decides not to sleep at all. Or NEPA strikes, Gen and inverter are also out so there goes your day. Nne, roll it over to God, apply the shrug therapy and just shrug it all off. Somethings you can’t control jare so you won’t kee yourself. Don’t let it steal your HAPPY.
Infact if it gets too much, go watch a movie or play music and start dancing with your kids. Goof around. Order pizza and enjoy guilt free. Leave the plates in the sink, cloths scattered, etc and just have a good time.
One bad day won’t hurt anyone. So shrug it off baby…
7. I saved the absolute best for last!!!
OVERDOSE on your time with God.
Oh darling, you can’t do this on your own. You will be frustrated. You will cry A LOT. You will fight your husband. You will be a wicked witch from the west stepmom mom. You will beef all your working class friends. You will quarrel with your neighbors. Hunnay, you need GRACE every single day you wake. Spend crazy lengths of time with God.
I suggest you have your special place e even if just a corner.
Pray for your hubby. Ask God to give him wisdom and knowledge in dealing with you (cos they are prone to say/act ‘one kind’ sometimes). Pray for the finances of your home. Ask God to show you even more creative ways to save money and even bring in money to the home, even though you ain’t working. Pray for things that money can buy and things money can’t buy. I personally enjoy this grace. This past year, so much financial and material blessings have come into my home from my end tz incredible. Pray for your kids, their health, social life, growth and development, studies, spiritual life, etc. Health is so important. You don’t wanna spend your finances and emotions on hospital bills and stress.
Pray for the home. That everything works well and the devourer stays rebuked. All this AC spoiled today, iron blew yesterday, pumping machine is broken, no light so soups and stews in the freezer spoilt, they are devourers ooo. Pray against them. Pray that light is constant. Pray for safety and security. Pray for hubby, his career/business/ministry. If he needs to take God more seriously, pray for his soul. Let your hubby know that anything he mentions to you, you will pray about it and miracles will happen. Pastor Kingsley in one of his books says Men love women that pray. Pray for your people and inlaws. Babe, there is a LOT to pray about so go into your prayer room/closet/corner/secret place often and PRAY!!!
Spend crazy time at His feet studying the Word. Pray with your baby too. Pray aloud and let him/her/them hear you even if they are just 3months. Their spirits are getting something. Teach your kids to pray. Model a life of prayer to them
Go on the ‘Tube and download tons of videos from men and especially women of God. I heartily recommend Heather Love Lindsey’s videos. She’s amazing with her life and she will inspire you. I also recommend Priscilla Shirer and Joyce Meyer and Joel/Victoria Osteen. I don’t spend extended time in the kitchen without my laptop watching one of the above mentioned. Then my dstv moves from Disney junior for my baby and Faith channel for me (or Daystar esp The Green room. That couple is adorbz). On your dvd, keep gospel jams jamming everywhere at home. Somedays I don’t have time to have a full quiet time but I make sure the Word gets into me in other ways.
Get scripture cards and paste around your home so that you constantly bump into it and take it in. Be creative. Your time with God is soooo important so you MUST be intentional about creating time for it. And please go to church. Don’t sleep in on Sunday mornings. Especially if your hubby is not really the ‘church type’. Please go. And take your kids with you. Join a unit in church and serve fully and faithfully. Soon hubby will join you.
I can’t over emphasize this point darlings.
Tz soooo important.
Bonus point: GET HELP.
Stop all this NONSENSE of trying to be a superwoman. You are not impressing anybody. Don’t kill yourself.
The moment I moved into my Rehoboth, I told hubs I was getting someone to come in twice a week to clean and wash pending when my FT homehelp comes. And I did. I don’t wanna burn out abeg.
The amount I pay her is NOTHING compared to the stress she saves me. In whatever way you choose,(live in, come and go, come once a week, creche or afterschool services) get help. No medals for sufferhead!!! Nobody is impressed!!!
Yes I am pissed because I have heard some comedian women talk nonsense about this help matter and because some read my blog, I will not say more lol. Dang, even the Proverbs 31 woman had help
That’s all mamas. At least this is all I can recall for now. Please if anyone has more tips, share in the comment box. And also share post with any Domestic Queens (in the words of the amazing TD Jakes) you know. Esp if she is sprung on ZeeWorld lol…
Love yawl and Merry Christmas.
And don’t over eat on World Food day aka Christmas. Hehe
Come back before the new year for one last post…
Look mama we did it!!!
So prouda me and thankful to GOD!!!
And to think I had on a waist trainer in September.
No easy way out guys. Hard work and eating clean!!!
And yup my hair z locked yaaaay. Sewed it in to let harmattan do more work without interruptions