There was a certain afternoon a LOT of things began to change in my life. August 31.
I had just finished shutting the door behind the woman who came to do my hair and right at that gate, God spoke to me in a way I could NEVER have missed…
You see, all the while she was doing my hair, I had already started my detox so TV was off and I was watching some videos on YouTube from my fave preachers…
So as I turned from the gate, God said to me SOOOO CLEARLY
Eziaha, YOU are EXACTLY WHERE I WANT YOU TO BE…THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING…
And He went ahead to download the THISes, that is next few steps of my life to me…
I lost NO TIME
Phew, journal out and I started writing because I knew if I didn’t write at that point, I would forget it.
I wrote and wrote and wrote as He spoke to my spirit and when I was done, I said a prayer and I WAS LED to call a friend later on and we spoke for a long time as I downloaded some of what I had heard to her (I also needed to hear myself say those things haha)
Note, I said I was LED to ring her and her reaction was proof enough that I WAS LED… I didn’t just jump to the phone and phone a friend.
Let me tell you, when God speaks, IT COMES WITH INCOMPREHENSIBLE P E A C E!!!
Will all the storms go away? Nope. But you, like JESUS, can be asleep on a pillow while the storm rages and then when you wake, you still the storm because you have a WORD!!!
Brace yourself guys, THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE LOOOOOOONNNNGGGG post…
I see yawl snicker, roll your eyes and be like
‘ E’ your posts are always long so puh-leeeeezeeee…’
Ok ooo. don’t say I didn’t warn ya.
Now before then, I used to be sooooooo unhappy lol. Not physically as much as mentally and spiritually. I wrote about it at the end of this Post.
You see, being a mom had CHANGED MY LIFE in many ways and for the most part, I ALWAYS FELT IT WAS HINDERING ME SOMEHOW…
Please read again, FELT… Past tense!!!
I just couldn’t WAIT to kick my career off again. I had BIG dreams and I was going to take over the world.
But my current days were full of diapers, breast pumps, bottles, onesies and frustrations…
Trust me looking back now, I am actually laughing.
Then, when my friends would share stuff with me or just publicly on SM via pictures or posts about work, career and all, I would feel bad that MEHN, see this girl/guy moving on ooo and see me just here… Kai aye mi
Heck, I even used to BEEF my hubs for having a career going on while me I just stayed home all day long.
I couldn’t WAIT for this SEASON TO BE OVER and along with that came mega frustrations!!!
Now let’s go back to what God told me
Eziaha, YOU are EXACTLY WHERE I WANT YOU TO BE…THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING…
It SLAPPED the CRAP outta me.
Before I formed you in the womb, I KNEW and APPROVED of you (as my chosen instrument) and BEFORE you were born, I HAD PLANS FOR YOU…
You made me, You created me. Now give me THE SENSE to FOLLOW Your commands.
As He shared with me what I was to be doing with my time NOW, I knew I needed to BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT in MY OWN RACE and stop being an observer in other people’s race.
Oh how complicated we make life when we start to compare and contrast with somebody else’s life and forget to FOCUS on making the BEST of this BEAUTIFUL life that we have been so graciously given.
How we let the PRESSURE of societal or family expectations get to us and we forget to go before or ignore the ONE who has the ORIGINAL blueprints of our lives.
A nursing mama Doctor friend of mine shared with me how EVERYONE keeps asking her how far with work and when she is going back and the pressure is just on from all over and she wanted to know how I coped with that.
I just shared my own experience with her on how I came to where I was atm, a place of PEACE!!!
Recently, my Pastor, Kingsley Okonkwo, preached a message on HIS PERFECT WILL and it just made me further RESOLVED to find HIS PERFECT WILL for my life and follow it FULLY irrespective of all the stuff that’s ongoing in my neighbor’s life. I just wanna live free from all the pressure life brings and of the approval of men/society with their EVER CHANGING STANDARDS and attendant EXHAUSTION!!!
I want to be AUTHENTICALLY ME & SURPRISINGLY SATISFIED!!!
Both lines are titles of two chapters in Priscilla Shirer’s amazing bestseller RESOLUTION FOR WOMEN which accompanies the AMAZING blockbuster movie COURAGEOUS from the stables of the Kendrick Brothers. (What a mouthful lol)
I am yet to read the Book but I watched her talk about each of the resolutions with Moira Brown
on 100Huntley abi 700Club after I had my God-encounter and it helped me crystallize some of my thoughts into words, so I would feature some lines from the book and share both Resolution Quotes at the end.
I love how it is called SURPRISINGLY SATISFIED…
When, it don’t matter the kinda pressure anyone tries to heap on you, you calmly defuse it with a smile that both surprises them and shuts them up.
Because frankly, once you meet a woman who is CONTENT in and with herself, it is usually not just refreshing but SURPRISING. You just wanna be friends with her. You wanna KNOW what she KNOWS.
Someone who understands that her path is uniquely hers, different from her best friend’s or colleagues and has no qualms celebrating others on their own journey EVEN IF THEY HAVE seemingly GONE AHEAD OF YOU for now.
Yes Sweetie , you will surely meet those who are ahead of you on the path you know God has called you to and should I tell you what to do besides sipping on a tall glass of beeferade and haterade?
You go ahead and CELEBRATE HER!!!
Yup, I said that. Celebrate her!!! Compliment her!!! Be an AFFIRMER. And sincerely from your heart.
Tell her you are proud of her and you can’t wait to join her on that level too. If it is a possibility, please ask her to show you the ropes.
Btw, why do we even compare foolishly? Do we even KNOW what God told them?
Guys listen, I CELEBRATE YOU should be a REGULAR feature in your spoken and written convos.
You don’t have time for beef ooo. Can we have WHOLE FRIENDSHIPS that we can TRULY enjoy?
Look, aside NOT comparing and beefing, we also need to FIND JOY IN OUR OWN JOURNEY.
Yes fully enjoy the season that you are in – single, married, with no kids, with small kids, jobless, underemployed, overworked,etc ON YOUR WAY TO THE NEXT SEASON!!!
It don’t mean you are complacent or laid back but you understand the AUTHENTICITY and UNIQUENESS of your own journey, as scripted by God and you are taking your own, maybe baby steps, but steps all the same.
Lemme tell yawl, PRESSURE COMES FROM NOT KNOWING WHAT GOD HAS SAID ABOUT YOU!!!
Then with the pressure comes frustrations and unnecessary drama, beef and so on because you wont stop playing the game of fools – COMPARISON!
You know what, I totally celebrate my NOW…
My days of being a FT mommy to this amazing, extremely energetic bubba whose smile makes me deliriously and unimaginably happy.
I enjoy BLOGGING and being a MENTOR to so many young girls who God has graciously entrusted to me.
I enjoy being this Home maker whose timings are sooooo off tz ridiculous but hey…
Oh goodness, I have learned to find joy in this journey because I know what God has called me to do RIGHT HERE AND NOW!!!
I have much more PEACE than before because I am on my own path and in HIS PERFECT WILL!!!
Does it mean that everything is perfect? Does that mean that I am all of a sudden complacent?
Of course not.
Things will NOT ever be perfect because once you settle one, you will promptly have another ish to deal with, but you should have an overaching banner of contentment over your life that defines you as a person. This means that inspite of all the imperfections and hurdles and even occasional ‘off days’, I can go back to this WORD, draw my strength and keep it moving.
Infact, I am sooooo SATISFIED that I can WHOLEHEARTEDLY compliment another sister who is probably on the path of what God has called her to do, different than but not superior to mine.
I was chatting with a friend of mine on WA two weeks back and she said she was UAE-bound for a training.
Such things used to just make me sad thinking
‘…Chai, if I was still working I would have been going to New York and Geneva too ooo…’
But frankly, I just hailed her that she was ballin’ ooo and teased her that I want her job and she teased me back that she wants KingDaveed.
After that convo, I just had a sweet convo with the Holy Spirit who just reminded me how far I had come from being a tensioned comparison-prone woman to this BRAND NEW WOMAN and I just smiled.
Guys, it pays to know what God told you. I dunno how else to say it.
One of my mentees, Dee, did this lovely post on ‘To hustle or nah’ and it just reminded me of how everyone expects that after BSc na MSc straight and so the tension is up!!! But did God tell ya?
I KNEW like I know my name, that MSc was NOT part of my own life’s journey then so I DID NOT CARE A HOOT who was doing MSc whether in Nigeria or Yankee.
Absolutely NO TENSION!!!
For the records, I was the best graduating student of my set and made a First Class ooo so my Lecturers, a lot of whom I am friends with, used to harangue me to go get a Masters. I was eligible for a scholarship in my school and then some Profs were willing to help me secure scholarships abroad too because my grades were over the roof.
A Prof actually told me that I was wasting my first class…
He missed it.
I KNOW why God gave me a First Class and…
Infact, one day, I will tell a story.
Darling, You go sit before the Lord and get a BLUEPRINT for YOUR OWN LIFE, run your race and quit being a SPECTATOR in another man’s race.
But on your way to the finish line, enjoy the season you are in.
Another angle to looking at being AUTHENTICALLY YOU is that sometimes, some seasons come and then there are just some things you cannot do even though it may be embarrassing or unpopular to admit.
A dear dear DEAR friend (haha she knows herself) was one of those who were to contribute money for something for someone. We had agreed on 5k each I think. 5k seemed like a fair amount for everyone and I was the one to collect the money. Then babe comes to me and says she can only afford 3k ooo so maybe someone should complete her own.
Frankly ehn, that day my respect for her peaked!!! And I have since told her this, over a year later.
Is it that it was only 3k in her account? No. maybe if she pushed herself she may have brought out the 5k but her and her hubs had things to do with money and this was impromptu and it was a gift so she was CONFIDENT enough to say THIS IS ALL I HAVE kpom kwem.
How freeing it must be to just BE AUTHENTICALLY YOU and unapologetically so!!!
Authentic enough to say if need be
‘Babes I am sorry, I CANNOT afford your asoebi but I would be happy to come for your wedding’
‘I think 20k each for a bridal/baby show budget. If you don’t mind, I will pay 5k…’
‘Sorry, I have to be home not later than 10pm so I can NOT hang out with yawl all night…’
Catching the drift?
Because sometimes, it is all in a bid to prove who we are NOT to impress those who don’t really care that we begin to do things that are ‘unlike us’.
I just LOVE meeting women/ladies who are FREE to be themselves, authentically, and then are very quick to compliment and affirm another woman. To celebrate and encourage another.
I have a friend like that. One day I asked her how she was always so encouraging and celebratory of other’s successes EVEN when hers is yet to materialise.
She told me she had to learn it ooo because it did not start easy. But she knows that in celebrating them, she is paving the way for her own. She genuinely celebrates when others marry, deliver, do anniversary, etc. She is the one to always holler whenever i put up KingDaveed’s picture and just commend me for doing a great job with him. Chisom never tires of saying it. That my friend is very amazing walahi. Even when she was out of job, her I CELEBRATE YOU party did not stop. I had to learn from her, plush she used to attend COZA.
You too can LEARN it.
No wonder Paul said
I have LEARNT the secret of being content in and every situation… Phil 4:12
I believe that a TRULY SATISFIED-IN-GOD HEART would be quick to both celebrate and call out GREATNESS in others.
We have to find crazy ways to encourage and compliment one another. Not just on the superficial stuff (your hair is nice, I love your dress, which no doubt are also important) but also on WHO the person is (You do a GREAT job with your kids. My goodness, you are a great home maker. Since you became my boss, you have taught me so many life lessons. I am so blessed to be under your ministry. Your blog has changed my life for good. I covet the skills you have to balance your home, church commitments and work, etc).
All this ‘who does she think she is? Na wa ooo, this one that just got married is now feeling important, etc’ CANNOT help anybody ooo, especially YOU.
Forget BEEF and just CELEBRATE another sister. Like Shirer said, there is PURITY attached to a compliment from one sister to another that may be absent when it comes from a man.
And please not those STUPID backhanded compliments ooo that always come with a BUT which I will address in a separate post. WHOLE compliments.
I random drop voice messages for women who have blessed my life. I recall one beautiful lady I met off my blog and then in person.
In the short while I have known her, she has taught me so many things both as a mom and a homemaker and one day I just random sent her a long voice message celebrating and thanking her. She was REALLY surprised that anyone would do that. Infact most people I have done that for have come up SURPRISED!!!
My sisters, how about we make this the NORM!!!
I think it is innate in every one of us to want to be celebrated and we would draw closer to healthy relationships that affirm us and give us the freedom to be us, even though we are not all on the same level.
Frankly, I want someone to buy a car/house and feel so free to ring me and tell me what God has done for her, knowing that I will wholeheartedly celebrate her even though I am yet to buy mine.
I want to be able to freely share with you and we can pray for one another in purity of heart.
Frankly, I am TIRED of beef, comparison, tension, hate, etc…
Let’s RESOLVE to be
I WILL ACCEPT AND CELEBRATE MY UNIQUENESS AND WILL ESTEEM AND ENCOURAGE THE DISTINCTIONS I ADMIRE IN OTHERS.
I DO SOLEMNLY RESOLVE TO EMBRACE MY CURRENT SEASON OF LIFE AND WILL MAXIMISE MY TIME IN IT. I WILL RESIST THE URGE TO HURRY THROUGH OR CIRCUMVENT ANY PORTION OF MY JOURNEY BUT WILL LIVE WITH A SPIRIT OF CONTENTMENT.
Have a BLESSED week guys and IGNORE JUNK FOOD!!!
God loves yawl like crazzzzzy
This October challenge is almost over… HALLELUJAH!!! Two more Posts to go.
Oh and I think I have a bonus post or two.
No promises. But in 3days, we have THE SPIRIT OF SHUT UP pt 2
Find Part 1 here https://eziaha.com/2015/10/07/the-spirit-of-shut-up-pt-1/