Mo ri re Mo ri re …. O SEMILOORE, Morire gba (abi what do they sing lol)
Praaaaaaaiisssssse Master Jisos!!! Hallelujah!!!
Umu Chineke, I just wanna thank Olisa bi n’eluigwe for the life of MY SON KingDaveed Oluwasemilore Somotochukwu Bolaji-Olojo who I gave birth to on Tuesday, March 10, 2015 has attained the GOLDEN AGE of 6months, alive and kicking crawling…
Guys I am so grateful and so happy. It really feels like a birthday indeed.
My joy knows no bounds.
Somedays I still don’t believe that this handsome healthy young man with sparkling eyes and dimples is ALL MINE!!!
I didn’t really see him until the next morning because I had complications after Labour and he too had to be attended to at the Neonatal unit. At first, I was too tired and weak to feel a rush of emotions but as the days went by, I fell endlessly and absolutely IN LOVE with him.
He has changed my life in many ways but people, I CANNOT EVER IMAGINE HIM NOT BEING IN MY LIFE!!! Nope I cannot.
Ok so the journey so far…
First thing I would say would be something I read off Inthe’s blog which I NEVER forget because in this part of the world, too many ITK’S abound and everyone and their dogs actually believe that their USELESS and UNSOLICITED personal opinions count hence their INSISTENCE on you obeying them.
YOUR KIDS/FAMILY ARE YOUR SANCTUARY!!!
Yours and yours alone. Your private HOLY PLACE!!! Only what you BOTH decide for your kids STAND!!!
Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes you will hear superior (medically and otherwise) arguments and wisdom demands should actually ‘bow’ to them, but when someone random decides to enter your baby’s matter WITH THEIR OPINIONS, please remove their nose from your business and don’t feel guilty about trashing their opinions. Even if they have 11 children. Lol
Yes, I am pissed…
With that out of the way, lemme present the rest of this post with subtitles…
On exclusive breastfeeding
Honey, I ain’t even gonna lie to yawl (you all), exclusive breastfeeding, EBF, is a lot of work. Sometimes it felt like that was ALL I did morning to morning with some break in between to bath and eat. And then pumping between feeds to encourage steady supply. But I wanted to do it. I was determined to do it as it is recommended best for baby and I was home FT anyways so technically, that was my FT job.
I recognise that some women, for one reason or the other cannot EBF and hey, your baby your rules. This is not to beat it down, cos usually on most mommy forums anyone who does EBF for 6months is quickly shut down because ‘afterall I wasn’t ebf and I turned out just right’ and ‘there is no difference between ebf and formula-fed babies’ and co… But I am feeling all shades of amazing and like someone needs to gimme a medal or som’in for reaching the finish line. Tz just easier (and sometimes medically advised) to start on the formula, cereals and stuff early on, no doubt like I was temoted severally to, and sometimes, ain’t nothing a working mama can do or a mama who ain’t lactatin’ like a mama cow. But guys, when you meet an EBF mama, give a double thumbs up. Was chatting with one of my readers yesterday and I loved all the hailings I got from her as she shared with me that she had to stop ebf at 4months.
Bottom line, should you EBF or FF?
Your call baby. Whatever is best for your baby, do.
I trust God for twins next time and baby, don’t even ask because ain’t no way in heaven I am EBF’ing lol.
Ok I had to learn all these things hehe. You do some at birth, 6weeks, 10weeks, 14weeka, then 6months, 9months, etc. Bless God for Fashola and his primary Health centres in Lagos. Not only are they free, the one I used in Festac was new and very very efficient. My sis said BCG is 50k in one private hospital she used for her son lol. Hahahahahaha. Same thing ooo. And these PHC follow the WHO guideline for Nigeria. Though I hear there are more which are more expensive and you have to pay for if you want but frankly, I just thought the ones they give are just fine. Recall when I was going to give KingDaveed a pneumococcal vaccine cos we were travelling and then when I took him to the paed and told him, he said NO NEED… So those basic ones were just fine. Then you sprinkle the blood of JESUS on him… That’s all the immunisation you need baby…
On Bath time
Oh my booboo loves water and then being face down on the lap. But turn him in a way as to wash his face and head and you have a screaming and stretching baby. Because he is so tall, he will almost stretch out of your hands, kicking your chest so hard in the process. Mahn, tz such war. Tz like his face is the ORACLE of God… Touch NOT!!!
Hubs started bathing him at about 15weeks and has become quite the pro though a lot of times, he will start singing ‘I want my mommy to bath me, My mommy know how to bath me fast. My mommy is a strong woman, My mommy is yokozuna, My mommy is Yokohama’ Kai, Bolaji. All because he wants to escape bathing him. He usually wins.
On allergies and skin issues
Oh I just bless God for his health and his skin. When I initially got to Bonny, he developed a nappy rash and then rashes on his neck. I guess change of water plus he was drooling buckets hence the neck rash. But it was not so serious and with sudocream and constant wiping his neck with a face towel and water, we were fine in no time. Aside that, my baby’s skin is like a baby’s. Literally. I just LOVE and SWEAR by my coconut oil abeg…
On allergies, this time it was raining daily in Lagos, he caught a cold. I HATED IT cos his nose was stuffy, he was coughing and it lasted all of two weeks!!! I became a pro at sucking his stuffy nose because I frankly found a suction bulb too much dramz and my baby was uncomfy. Sucking it out was easier for me. Went to the hospital after that two weeks again and the consultant, bless him, said I should stop all the drugs earlier prescribed and just keep doing a steam inhalation 4-6times daily. Wham!!! Worked like magic. I just hate loading babies on drugs. All those funny things that we do in Nigeria… start loading them with Ampiclox, Abidec and Gripe water from birth, paracetamol EVEN BEFORE immunization because you expect he would run temperature etc… Hian. Oh at the PHC, they were serious about lecturing mothers and warning us to STOP taking advice from unprofessional people just cos they have had kids. What worked for their kids just MAY harm yours.
And there were sad stories they used to share with us. So no matter what anyone says, I got my doctor bestie on speed dial. I can’t go through labour and now let one stupid mistake cause wahala biko.
Ok that’s all on his health. I just bless God that this boy has not carried us in and out of the hospital. Yup I am a pretty good mama but we all KNOW that NA GOD ooo, last last. Even his teething was seamless. One day we just started seeing the pearly whites peeking out from under the gum and say a week plus later, they had made their grand appearance.
On comparing babies…
Aren’t we mamas all guilty of this? I seriously was gonna do a separate post on it. Started right from my parents, tensioning me when he turned 3months that he needed to start sitting ooo. And everytime they had him, they would put him to sit by force. Lol. By the time 4months rolled around, he was still not sitting without bending forward like the tower of Pisa lol. I just imagined that if my parents saw him then, they would talk. Lol. Me I didn’t even tension myself. I really idnt understand the hurry. That your kids sat at 3months don’t mean mine sitting at 7months is late. Kids develop differently. I recall one of my nieces didn’t walk well till she was 1plus. Today, she no dey waka?
Even today when I took him for his 6months immunization, he was like the only one with teeth there and I recall a mom teasing her daughter saying ‘see your mate’ and we all laughed. Yup he cut his before them but ain’t nothing over special about that because they all gonna cut their own teeth pretty soon. I have met plenty mamas who just don’t stop the comparison, tho without bad intentions. But if you say anything about your own baby, they always counter it with theirs…
Oh my baby started walking at 7months
He crawled at 3months
She made complete sentences at 11months
Oh my baby did not reject any food at all ooo
Oh my baby wore 9months clothings from 3months
Of course saying all this in some context is good, maybe even helpful. But when you just wanna show me that your baby deserves a Nobel Prize cos of that feat, I just smile and change the convo.
While some kinda comparison is healthy and maybe encouraging, I just don’t like that kinda tensioning one…
On strangers and stranger anxiety
Oh my baby is so sweet, has a cute smile for everyone especially in church. If he is outside, he is usually calm and quiet so some people whp have encountered him will be like ‘oh he is so quiet’ and I would say well he is not so quiet inside ooo. Frankly, they stopped believing me. I recall an older wife I visited with before I left, after she had seen how calm he was all through our stay, she said ‘Eziaha abeg I don’t believe you. This boy is quiet. You are just lying on his head’. Even my Dentist friend Vivian don’t believe too cos everytime we hang out at her house, he is an angel, literally. Her kids and her househelp adore him cos if I leave him with the help, he doesn’t stress her at all.
He will eat his food, sit in his car seat and be just calm lol. But with me at home, trust me KingDaveed is a gumbody and attention master.
There was a time he used to wail when his popsie carries him. He will want only me to be carrying him. I thank God that phase passed quick.
But there have been some people he didn’t have no smile for…
- I was looking for a salon around to wash my hair and this woman comes to me and says that why did I not cover his head, didn’t I see the weather, etc and was just touching my baby and his head anyhow. Funny things is the weather was just ok ooo. I was so mad lol. But I didn’t need to say anything cos my baby was shouting at her. It was so cool. Lol. #dontmesswithmymama #mamaknowsbest
- had this couple who visited with us and all the time they spent was spent saying ‘oh you have added SO MUCH WEIGHT’. Now the man’s wife was FAT and had never met me before aside pictures ooo. It was a tiring visit and trust my baby, he WAILED all the time they carried him and kept wailing till they left. Hahahahaha #mymamaisbeautifuljustthewaysheis #gerrarahere mehn!!!
On diapers and poop and all…
Ok, I have used 3 types of diapers and all have been good. Huggies, Pampers and Costco. I will recommend any really but for wipes, I swear by Huggies and Huggies only. Err, just a quick note on pampers premium, please don’t waste your money. Just buy the regular pampers cos ain’t nothing special abourrit… Lol.
Ok so when you ebf, the baby don’t poop like an FF baby. But there was this time dude didn’t poop for almost 5days and every time I would check his diapers anxiously. My dear, what a waste of emotions. He finally did, without issues. Recently it repeated itself and I didn’t even bother. The day he pooped ehn, it was a poonami (Poop Tsunami). And he pooped TWICE in that day lol.
Btw, I have not seen anyone who HATES poop like hubs. Haha. If he wants to bath him and he poops, hubs is gonna use wipes first to wipe and I am like but he ia bout to bath now and he will just gimme one evil eye cos ain’t no way he is gonna touch no poop. Lol. Ajebo hubs.
On screen time, and baby vids
These obodo oyibo people be talking about how screen time is not so good but frankly, the wonders cartoon does, whether from my phone or on the TV is amazing. Biko I dey on cartoon wella. Lol. I download usually from Hoopla kids. Don’t worry, I will find a way to ration it plus he is not permanently watching jor.
On clothing and co
They really varied ooo cos some were perfect for the label as in he wore 3-6months at between 3-6 months. There were others which though labelled say 3months and he wore them at 5months and then vice versa. Cos he had a LOT of cloths thanks to my sister in the US who was sending dresses in their numbers, and then some other people, I gave out quite a bit both new and worn but I was sure to not ‘over wear’ them. And I love that the people I gave it to REALLY needed it.
Btw, can’t wait to have girl children cos their cloths are OH-SO-BEAUTIFUL!!!
There were some dresses I did get attached to of his. Finding it hard to give them out sef and I manage to wear him until he practically removes it himself, lol.
Then laundry, I handwashed until just about a week ago cos I didn’t have a washing machine. Now ehn as I don see washing machine I con realise say HANDWASHING na SUFFERHEAD lol. Please make a washing machine a priority.
On gifts and all…
I am not sure WHY I didn’t expect he would get a lot of gifts and cash. Oh my friends were amazing. I recall one day Tani came to my house with a HE envelop. A couple of them got together and decided to give me this HUGE amount. It was too touching cos almost all of them were from my blog and most I had yet to meet. Oh it was the coolest stuff how KingDaveed got gifts especially off this blog. I just bless God. We even decided to use part of his money to bless people who needed it. Yup my son is already a giver like David. Oh we got plenty cloths too and other baby stuff. The only thing I got I couldn’t use were toiletries cos I wanted to be real careful for his skin.
Actually I hear you don’t visit with or see a baby and not give gifts. Tz like our tradition in Africa. Omo with how KingDaveed was getting, me sef started giving ooo.
On Bottles and Sterilisers
I basically used Avent and Tomme Tippee bottles and then I used to microwave sterilise and then cold water too using Milton tablets. Either methods worked for me but cold water is easier. Lemme just mention that I didn’t use pacifiers though hubs did when I would leave him with him. I just didn’t see a need when I knew what he really wanted was the boob. Interestingly the pacifier worked for my hubs.
On beds, cribs and co-sleeping
Abeg my booboo sleeps right with me. So that should he wake at night, I just breastfeed him nice and easy to sleep. Hubs had to vacate the bed for us Hahaha. I KNOW for a fact that this is the case in most households. (I see yawl cosleeping mamas) I really would want him in his crib back though now that I am weaning him but in our room. Thankfully we got him a mobile bed. Plus did I mention that my baby was one of those who would sleep through the night or if he wakes, just feed him and wham he goes back to sleep. Mahn, my heart breaks for mamas whose babies who would wake in the night and think it is day and want to play or be demanding attention. Choi!!! Not once did brother keep me up at night. I just bless God for that.
His crying and vexing
I am one of those mamas who believe that a baby should cry. Somedays when I really need to get something else done, I let him cry ooo, so long as I am sure he is not hungry, wet or uncomfy. If all he wants is a cuddle and mama never chop or baff, you best believe I’ma leave him to scream. And dude can shout ehn. He will now stiffen his body, close his eyes and SCREEAMMMM. God help you if he peeps and sees you, he will now close it again and scream even more. Lol. My dear, tears don’t kill no baby. I just pick him up late and start speaking words to him that he is not an angry vexing hot tempered baby ooo. And that whatever his temperament is, I declare that it is SPIRIT CONTROLLED. Haha.
And I don’t sing ‘cry cry baby I want to see my mommy, shame’. Lailai. I call anyone out who does cos you can’t be speaking shame into my son’s life. I certainly call them out. I sing MY BLESSED BABY instead and skip the shame part.
On keeping a Baby journal
I love keeping one. I can tell you categorically when he hit major milestones by the week because I documented it all. Chances are that if you ever visited or gave him stuff, your name is in that book lol.
It was a gift from a dear dear friend Bridget. Btw girl holler at me…
It was always a joy to have my own friends visit. And quite a lot of yawl came around. Some more than once. Some came ready to help me work. Helpful visitors are the best. Almost all came with gifts and cash. A lot were LONG visits and I LOVE long visits. Some came with issues for counselling lol. It made me laugh but I loved taking time off baby talk and counselling, ALL took pictures. Wasn’t so keen for pictures at the beginning but later I got in the groove. Some wanted to visit but things always came up either from my end or theirs. One person who I can’t wait to meet KingDaveed has to be my bestie Dumebi. Girl, you better make that happen BEFORE he starts walking or we are stripping you of your godmama status.
On Prayers and confession
I pray for my baby every single day and take his confession for him day and night tho sometimes I miss night. And I anoint him too. His confession is so powerful and I cannot wait for us to teach him to start saying it himself over his life. I also read from the Book of David daily (because DAVID really should have a Book) and then just repeat the blessings and lessons over his life. He may not understand me yet but ddoesnt stop me from praying that with him. I also mention all his names and bless him with them
KingDaveed: The One who RULES and is BELOVED by God
Oluwasemilore: God has done me well/a favour
Somtochukwu: Join me in praising God
I speak over his life that he would enjoy the realities of these names in JESUS NAME, AMEN
I recall once in church when someone asked me what his name is and when I said KingDaveed, he said ‘don’t do what david did in the Bible ooo’
At first I am like, what’s that? And then it hits me that he is talking about the adultery with Uriah’s wife. I laughed… I KNOW too much of the kinda covenant that God had with David to focus on his one mistake. Tah!!!
Just perfectly illustrates what the devil will do to an ignorant believer…
And which brings me to the final one
His name… KingDaveed
No, I didn’t miss the spelling. No, I do not need to explain to you WHY I gave MY son that name. No it is NOT ‘King David’ or ‘david’ or Daveed’ It is not even Kingdaveed. It is KingDaveed simple. One Word. Pronounced KingDAHveed… No I also would prefer you do not shorten it but if you must, KingD it is. NOT KD!!! Lol
Oh I can’t begin to number all the various murdering of both the spelling and pronunciation. Tz funny. He sure will have to be patient a-plenty when he starts introducing himself. Even though it is his decision to make when he gets older but I would love that Titles are skipped when he is being called. Mr KingDaveed is killing it lol. Ditto Uncle KingDaveed, so I would rather everyone just says KingDaveed. But where you have to absolutely add a title, then we go to Somtochukwu or Semilore. But come to think of it, back then in school, one of our Pastors name was King and we all used to call him Pastor King. I guess Mr KingDaveed ain’t that awkz anymore
I dunno if I missed anything out…
I think this is LONG enough though.
But this post would not be complete if I don’t talk about the challenges being a mom brought my way…
I decided to share this because I was chatting with one of my readers/friends today and she is preggy and quite emotional about this and that. And then she tells how she is NOT allowed to be emotional, to say she is tired, to say she feels bad and stuff like that. She is NOT allowed to BE because there are women who don’t have kids and are desperately searching or there are those on permanent bedrest etc. I told her to please OWN the emotions. That is the first step to getting the required solution or healing not denying it, because it was beginning to affect her spiritual life too. That a pregnant woman is emotional doesn’t mean she is not grateful. SHE IS. She is just sick and tired of being sick and tired and the fact that she is not ALLOWED to be sick and tired and CRY if she wants to frankly can make her SICK AND TIRED even more. A very sick and tired and VERY GRATEFUL pregnant woman lol.
And I proceeded to share my own struggles with her post baby and how I healed.
Looking back, I do not know if/that I had post natal depression but one thing I certainly knew was that I was not exactly the Eziaha pre-mommy and that PND is real. There was a time hubs told me that I sounded very frustrated. Looking back I think I was. I am not a lazy person, actually I am one of those super women who can do it all but frankly mommyhood drew everything I had from my tank and reserve so I was always running on empty. My life was no longer my own and because I could not take it out on my baby, guess who took the heat. Yup hubs. It looked like I was no longer the high flying Eziaha but now a househelp as all I did was wash, clean, cook, change diapers, breastfeed, do dishes and repeat all over again day in and day out. I desperately wanted to do things FOR ME but whosai, impossible. I didn’t regret that I was not working. I just regretted not having a life outside all this. I certainly was not ungrateful ooo. Any effort I made to ‘live’ would die a natural death for lack of time. I HATED NOT HAVING A HELP and hubs frankly didn’t/couldn’t do much around to help. I would complain, gripe, whine, etc. I mean here he was, he could go to work and actually LIVE and leave me home and I would quarrel with Him all the time. I just hated the fact that life at that point had reduced me to a househelp lol. I hope yawl get what I mean. IT WAS HARD. Many days I cried. Bless God for good friends mehn!!! I dunno if you can really understand this if you have not walked this road. But if there are mamas who understand me, say uh huh uh huh… Lol.
Taking care of a child may seem easy and fun but IT IS ALSO A LOT OF WORK NOT only fun, forget what all those cute bibs say. GET HELP BEFORE YOU POP THAT BABY lol. Some days I would forget if I had bathed or not. And lemme tell you the WORST part. My spiritual life started to dwindle. I couldn’t spend time in prayer and word study like I used to before because my flesh was constantly tired and I hated the fact that I couldn’t, because I desperately wanted to. Sleep would just carry me. Oh I HATED IT. All through the day I would talk to God and complain and stuff BUT ONE THING I KNEW WAS THAT GOD ABSOLUTELY LOVED ME AND WANTED ME TO COME BACK INTO THAT LEVEL OF FELLOWSHIP. It frustrated me that I could not. I would just literally sit in His presence but be too tired to do anything. My prayers were short and listless. My Bible study was poor. My flesh was WEAK. IT WAS HARD. Maybe, just maybe I was depressed. I CRIED A WHOLE LOT. I imagine some of yawl reading this thinking ‘How is that possible?’
Anyways everyday I would tell GOD to just help me. I missed my HOT spiritual life. It just didn’t seem right. But like I said one thing I was sure of was HIS LOVE for me. I knew even if I didn’t feel it, it hadn’t changed.
Now don’t get me wrong, if Jesus came, I was going to heaven ooo. I just wasn’t getting the fullness of the Christian life and living here on earth. And yawl know if you have reached a certain level, nothing less will do. It was not like going from 80 to -10. It was like going from 100 to 40. I had something, but it was POOR.
Lemme tell you how God restored me… He somehow made my darling Titi mention WAR ROOM movie to me.
My people, I saw trailers and I went back to my secret place in prayers. Oh my gosh, those Kendrick brothers did some prayer before that movie because only previews, reviews and interviews my spiritual mojo kicked back in…
What an impact!!!! Have you heard the testimonies so far???
So WAR ROOM and the ministry of the Kendrick Brothers
Priscilla Shirer and Heather Lindsey also helped me. Somehow I stumbled on their videos and teachings and I saw plenty of me in them especially Priscilla. I think it was a reader who mentioned that she was a preacher when I did the post on WAR ROOM
Guys, these women now are my REAL LIFE Heroes!!! I am SPRUNG!!!
She teaches the Word like I would teach it. She is AMAZEBALLS… I feel like she is my bigsis. so worded and so fun.
Now? SPIRITUAL LIFE check check check check DOUBLE CHECK!!!
And because everything else is predicated on that, ALL IS WELL WITH ME AND THE WORLD!!! Whoop!!!
When I shared this with my friend, she said ‘I NEEDED to hear that. WE SHOULD SHARE OUR STORIES AND STRUGGLES. Now lemme go find a way to get my own mojo back…’ (In my own words)
Fam, my baby is 6months old!!! Alive and very well. Even though he spat my Cerelac back at me, took the ogi with resistance, we won’t give up… Hahaha
Cerelac and breastmilk .no be mates…
Longest post ever, thankfully I am an AMAZING writer otherwise you woulda been so bored.
That’s my horn. Haha
Don’t steal any of my pictures without Royalty ooo, or else…