‘You are now BEAUTIFUL again…’
Those were his EXACT words yesterday in church and this was EXACTLY how I looked that day he said it.
I heard the above statement at my first Sunday back in DCC Lagos post-delivery and I had made the effort. Effort to look good. You see, these days, i had to MAKE THE EFFORT to look ‘BEAUTIFUL AGAIN’.
Frankly my initial reaction to that line was first shock, then I asked ‘AGAIN?’ and then I threw my head back and laughed and laughed and laughed and said I was definitely writing a blog post titled that. You see, he didn’t know when he said that and if he could take those words back, he would have cos he had protested that he didn’t mean it ‘quite like that’. But no need, he was speaking quite the truth.
You see that famed pregnancy GLOW??? I had it first and second trimester. I was feeling all ho’ and sexy mama…
I wore heels, dressed up and took pictures all the time. I was H-O-T. I got all the compliments from work, church, strangers, neighbours, ANC/Hospital etc. Everyone who knew I was preggy paid me the sweetest compliments and I always heard ‘Wow, you don’t look pregnant, even with the bump.’
My doctor always teased that I had refused to look my ‘status’ what with the gowns and jeans I didn’t stop wearing. Add that to the fact that my health was tiptop. No issues whatsoever. Infact, my strength levels were WOW!!! I was POSTER GIRL for ‘How to be preggy, Hot and oh-so-FAB!!!’
Physically, I was fine. Medically, I was fine. Spiritually, I was fine. Peace and joy to the world, ho ho!!!Then wham, enter December, month 7, trimester 3 and I started bloating all over. Or let’s just call it what it is, I started getting FAT,
my nose and face widened, my color got darker and NO it wasn’t glowing anymore, my digits got swollen, fave shoes didn’t fit no more, my ring was confined to my bag because it was now war to take it off and I didn’t want it to get stuck and have to be broken, hot cloths didn’t fit no more, my natural hair(styles) were now more messy that trendy, etc. Infact, If insisted on using HOT as an adjective around me, you probably meant HOT MESS!!!
Let me tell you what made it incredibly worse. My strength levels dipped. I would go to bed tired and wake up TIRED. I started having headaches. My toothache peaked too at night when I lay down so I was getting little sleep at night. And even when I slept during the day, I would wake up TIRED still. So in addition to not looking ‘beautiful’ AGAIN, I felt worse. I especially hated how tired I always felt. Bear in mind that I had stopped work already and was in Bonny Island. I was frustrated and ate more and kept ballooning.
Now let’s take this a notch higher, some incredibly ignorant persons would always want to stop me on the road and say ‘Oh you are so fat now’ ‘Oh you have added so much weight’ ‘Ah, you are now darker’ etc BUT the worst for me was ‘Ha, you look sooooooo different’ and they would say it in such a way that they might have as well said ‘Gosh didn’t know you had it in you to be sooooo ugly Eziaha’
I can’t forget this day I had made the effort to look good, or as good as I could look, and then some chick in church sees me, squeezes her face and goes
‘Ah, you have added sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much weight…’
It took the TRINITY in me to not give her the comeback she deserved seeing as she had a bigger tummy than me, she was NOT pregnant and she was FATTER with fat arms, folds, love handles and all. Did I repeat that she WAS NOT PREGNANT and has NEVER BEEN???I was so pissed my goodness.
And there were very many others. Some people would visit and go on and on about their sisters, cousins, colleagues, etc who were all ‘kim kardashian’ when preggers. Others would not forget to mention how it was IMPOSSIBLE to lose the weight and so many other stuff I don’t even want to mention here but still just as annoying and painful to hear. I was hormonal, so yes they were painful to hear. Someone actually called me UGLY once to my face. I cried!!!
And did I forget to mention the demographic of almost everyone who spewed out the wrong stuff
- Nulligravida (Never been pregnant)
The men were a lot more sympathetic.
I had to think back to my pre-preg days when I saw women who had added weight as a result of pregnancy. I don’t recall saying anything like that to them. Infact I certainly remember telling a certain someone who kept saying of one woman in a rather disgusted tone ‘She is now SO FAT’. I just kept telling the person not to think of mentioning such to the lady’s face ooo. Infact, I generally think saying that a lady is FAT is rude, pregnant or not. Except of course, you guys are padi padi…
Another exception when it comes to ‘all things fat’ that pregnancy brings, it is perfectly understandable for of course pregnant women to poke fun at themselves, a multigravida can poke fun at a pregnant woman too especially if she has been there, done that as per pregnancy weight and all. But it is these ones that are the most compassionate. And even when they yab, they do it in a compassionate way too especially when we are padi padi. But if you have never had a baby and you are not ‘tight’ with this ‘fat preggo’ SHUT UP!!! Trust me she most likely is dealing with it too. There were days I didn’t even want to come out.
Oh bless this chick called Onyinye.
The first time I appeared in DCC Lagos this year and after a long time away, I must admit that i actually felt comfortable despite my ballooning size.
The defence I had planned was to just yab myself before anyone yabs me but most of them were all like ‘oh don’t worry, you would lose it soon enough’. The hugs were reassuring and didn’t feel the least patronizing. Onyi went a step further and was like
‘…do you know so so and so, if you see her now ehn, she even got bigger than you but she has gone back to shape…’
She actually kept looking for her to show me. She was too reassuring. And yes, her baby had just turned one and though she was a hotter preggy than me, she made sure I got it into my head that I would lose it all again.
Oh and my bestie Valerie, oh my gosh!!! Everyone needs a friend like that. The most encouraging girl in the whole world. When she visited, she made sure she made me feel good about myself and now tell you how I am even hot compared to the ones she sees. Valerie would get you rolling with her questions. She would always have something encouraging to say. She even looked at my tummy and complimented the fact that I did not have stretch marks like that. Oh she was a joy to have around. I was so relaxed with her without feeling a need to apply makeup and stuff. She even went on a walk with me and sha advised me small small. Yup she is a FAB doctor and an INCREDIBLE bestie.
Oh and there was OLAEDO an amazing amazing GORGEOUS lady I met via this blogKept reassuring me that I would lose the weight and giving me tips… Awesome lady. See her lovely kids hehehe. They visited and loaded me with Oats knowing how much I love it and am trying to keep fit. And gifts for KingDaveed. (Lol Sorry Olaedo i had to put your business out there lol. Forgive hehehe)
Now back to the convo that inspired this. The man actually said he and his wife were said AMONG THEMSELVES that ‘pregnancy no fit Eziaha sha’ lol. It was the truth. That third trimester no fit me at all. But he and his wife, who is my padi and had been sweet all through my pregnancy, said it to themselves but it is only now when I am getting ‘beautiful again’ that he can now refer to it and laugh about it. Timings!!! Timing is everything. Save your snide remarks for later.
Because let us face it, some women have those kinda genes that would aid them glide through pregnancy like a BOSS and still look hot and smokin’ with only the tummy protruding and then proceed to lose all the pregnancy weight as easily as ever. But some of us with the other kinda genes would add weight, get all puffy and BLACK and sweat for months and months before we lose it.
Don’t make it any harder for us. BE SENSITIVE!!! Thank you.
Mehn, this weightloss business is serious.
Eating healthy, exercise, the works. Some days I am all hyped, some days like Sunday at TK’s dedication, I ate rice like it was going out of proportion. Sigh!!! Anyways, my mantra is still NO SMILING TILL KIMK BODY!!!
Happy to start getting the compliments again tho. Infact today as i stood by the road waiting for something, i actually got a toaster hehehe. Told him i had a baby inside lol
I recall when I used to hide behind people to snap right after i gave birth
Now i dey try sha but as I am still exclusive breastfeeding, there are limits to what i can do diet wise.
Of course pregnancy is such a gift. I certainly cannot discount it.Just sharing my story to encourage others in my shoe and school others who dunno how-to and what to say… I will also share my Birth story soon. Na time…
Imagine, Yesterday i put up that picture feeling all hot and all with my ‘hips don’t lie’
and a friend actually said ‘Eziaha na you fat like this? This baby is making you FAT ooo’ I mean people were paying compliments and that was ALL she had to say??? Had to correct her immediately. Yup your guessed it- single and nulligravida.
HMM let me commit myself. I have this post I have been working on in my head. Tz a transcript of a message by PK… WHY AM I STILL SINGLE!!! Love it so I wanna share it. Transcribing a message is HARD WORK but this June, I am all fired up so let’s hope it is my next or max next two posts.
Happy New month darlings. Bless!!!