That’s what my mama started calling ’em after the drama that happened in UI in my final year
when we HEARD that they had written a letter to our school (and like two more schools) that they were coming to bomb us next.
*insert your BEST ‘shuo’ face here*
I’ll spare you the details of the shutdown, students protest and refusal to write exams, and increased security presence that happened then in school and just tell you how my mom and sister didn’t stop yabbing me about it all cos I even repeated such crap to them…
So whenever she called, she will say
‘…ndi boko ha landiala?’
Literally translating to ‘have the ‘boko people’ landed?’
Tz crazy hilarious in Igbo, plus the way she always said it amidst laughter while my sis will also be laughing in the background. Choi!!!
Momma of mine… Dramatic to the C
Anyways, the truth is rumour or not, students were taking absolutely NO chances.
Exam gbakwa oku, omo, the campus hostels emptied out like we all saw the letter with our korôkoro eyès.
Parents ringing their kids to come home. This was one rumour we didn’t wanna wait to confirm cos that would mean heaven or hell straight up!!!
It just made sense and spirit to vamoose.
Yup…Ndi Boko had such powers. Lol.
Fast forward to later that year when my NYSC posting came out. I recall telling my parents I was posted to Bauchi. That period, ndi-boko were killing crazy in that region. Infact there had been calls to stop posting Corpers there as several had lost their lives. Mehn, trust my dad, first thing he said was ‘You are not going!!!’. And momsie? She had started calling people already to ‘effect necessary changes’.
No way on God’s green earth were they going to let me go to Bauchi!!!
And fact is, I knew plenty people who postponed their NYSC to the next batch cos they were posted to problem states. And I know a few who lied that they had all sorts of unprintable diseases just to be re-posted from camp.
That’s to show you how much we value our lives. Nobody wants to deliberately die from Boko-haram bombings and certainly not at this young age. So we find both godly and ungodly ways to stay safe. And alive.
Today in the news, (and I do think you have to make sure you are reading your bible MORE than you are watching the news otherwise, the spirit of despair, fear and depression would soon tackle and overpower you)
ndi-boko gist is everywhere. Where they aren’t bombing, they are threatening or jail breaking or clashing with our Security operatives.
Almost daily, certainly weekly, one drama goes down. And takes with it innocent lives. Only this year, we have lost near thousands. Kids and students not excluded.
Viewer apathy is actually starting to set in. Gosh!!! God forbid.
So why did I lay out all this Boko drama? Or is BH all I wanna talk about today?
Ok, let’s dive in.
One week, one of those weeks when I had just heard about ENOUGH marital or relationship HELLISH news including how the kids were being affected, a friend now told me of another marital story gone BAD for a colleague of hers.
Then it just dawned on me that some times, we use our own legs and walk straight into ndi-boko camp and let our lives get bombed up.
Yup, that’s EXACTLY what happens when you marry wrong.
That’s the real Boko haram. And this time, You become your own boko-haram. You too are guilty!!! Of aiding and abetting your own ‘death’.
You get yourself into a real ticking time bomb situation when you end up with the wrong life partner and sooner than later, it will go VOOM in your face…
Lemme talk to the ladies here. Cos most times, we suffer more in such situations. We are the casualties of this war.
Sweetie, I beg You in the name of God, please don’t COMPROMISE your faith cos of a man!!! Don’t lower your standards just cos your life’s aspiration is to marriage!!! Now I am going to assume that I’m talking to real spiritual believing ladies here. If you aren’t, nne get right with God first ooo cos you can’t make this all important decision without Him. Don’t deceive yourself ooo.
Ok so let’s proceed…
If Mr Tall Glass of all things HOT n SPICY is NOT a born-again and unquestionably saved believer complete with FRUITS of the spirit NOT just the GIFTS, he is BOKO HARAM!!! Run!!! His soul z not saved/renewed and according to Eph 2:2, there is a DEMON Spirit at work in the sons of disobedience, those who refuse to obey God. Hmm, that spirit can move him to do ANYTHING at ANYTIME!!!
Nne that is the real boko-haram. Don’t even think about marrying him!!! Run!!!
If he is Mr Swags-on-point, but he doesn’t have any spiritual authority or mentor over him that can call him to order when his head starts touching, and he is even one of those who talk down on Pastors and MOG, he is a ticking time bomb, RUN!!!
An un-mentored man has already been recruited into the Boko Haram army. Don’t let him practice his skills on you ooo. Experience z NOT the best teacher for the wise.
If our Tall, Dark and Handsome doesn’t go to and SERVE in a church or pay his tithe REGULARLY, run!!! A man who cheats God will cheat and shortchange you of life itself… Plus he has no covering!!! Boko haram identified!!! And rejected!!! Tsk tsk tsk!!! Run!!!
If Mr Suave is also Mommy’s boy, honey, you can’t compete with his mom ooo.
Neither can you fight it if the boy aint willing to free himself from mommy’s apron.
And no wife wants to play second fiddle in her ‘real estate’. It may seem like just a spark that would soon go out but trust me, I recently heard of an under one year divorce case cos of mummy’s influence!!! Tick tock tick tock BOOOM!!!
Bomb will sooner than later detonate in your face!!! Run baby, run. But first, gift him this sucker!!!
For me, the next point is probably my most important…
If your spiritual authority says ‘don’t marry this man or quit this relationship’ baby mi, don’t even think it. Of course this is me assuming you have Pastors or mentors like my PK and Rev.
Trust me, he is NOT gaining natin by stopping you. Instead he is saving your life from being blown up!!! Listen!!! Ask him why…Then take notes to identify any other BH man and then Run!!!
Run like Road runner. Don’t look back like Lot’s wife. Make sure that loser NEVER catches you. Your life can scatter my Love. Scatter!!! If you dare to disobey spiritual authority especially on this all-important marriage matter, and maybe even now start dodging or fighting your Pastor cos you suddenly think he wants to pour sansan in your garri…. Hmmmmmmmm.
Some mistakes are DEADLY. Even when you repent of it and attempt to get your life back on track, the scars remain. Sometimes very VERY obvious.
When your hands have burnt and you come back to your mentor/Pastor, he will accept you but you will deal with the consequences of that isi-ike FOREVER.
Hmm, and the koko one, if he beats you in the relationship, and you go ahead, spurn better judgement and marry, please lemme know. So I can gift you a coffin on your wedding day. Sweetie, an abusive man is Boko haram’s ring leader. Someday, your corpse will be what will be taken out of that marriage.
If he is sexing you in the relationship, hmm both of you are being stupid but the girl more IMO. My LOVE, stop!!! You can repent NOW. And if he no gree, baby, madness occurs when you as a wife has ZERO trust in your hubby cos the same line you cross to fornicate is the same you cross to ‘adulterate’. You will just become a detective for nothing. Unpaid crazy one. Nne, no TRUST, No NOTHING.
Then he will now boko-haramize you when you now dare to ask him questions!!! Sweerie, oso Abiola… RUN!!! Leave your shoes behind if you have to.
Forget that He is the hottest thing Alex-Ekubo-aint-got-natin-on-him. He oozes class and panache like Paddy Adenuga. He is so charming Okija babalawos and their many charms pale when he appears. Those things don’t matter as much ooo. The difference between Charming and Harming is the letter C…
See how Harming goes with Haram-ing if you can attempt to ‘funerize’
Now, my blog is NOT a strictly relationship blog but for some interesting reason, majority of the mails that come to me are relationship related from ladies. Hmmmmm. Like Inthe…, I can actually say tz my ‘bread and butter’ especially when the ladies are actually really ready to follow wise counsel. But guess where the real wahala happens?
When despite wise counsel, she tells you how hard it is to do what’s right, and then goes ahead with ndi-boko and BOOM!!! She is haramized… I wish I could FORCE them but I have learnt that I can’t… I can only talk and pray and hope you make the right choice.
My Pastor Kingsley always says ‘…you deserve who you marry…’ and he doesn’t pity people with ‘marriage drama’ anymore… Because counsel po… Wise counsel is everywhere if we open our eyes a bit. Somewhat like the lawyers will say ‘Ignorance is not an excuse in law…’ Most times, we just ignore or not heed to counsel cos we think we know better. Whatever you see in marriage, you would have seen a shadow in courtship but love dey blind and shack you.
At first, I thought PK was being harsh. Right now, I believe him. It may sound like a harsh thing to say, but tz the truth. Sorry.
Before I start pitying you, I like to ask questions. When you ask questions deeply, you will realize that the cracks were present. The red flags… The ‘Potential Boko haram’ billboard. She just ignored it or downplayed it.
Don’t come in here and be telling me ‘people change, you just never know what you will see in marriage until you enter or you are still in the creche of marriage and things may change so don’t talk yet (I had a comedienne tell me that once. I was amazed as to how the devil has blinded and deceived people. I immediately prayed for her cos she sounded like a Haramized wife)…’ And all such absolute rubbish…
Our heavenly Father is NOT wicked. He will NEVER leave you without a witness and neither will He lead you into something that has the potential to change for the worse. No baby, not my Sugar Daddy.
Singleness is NOT a sin. It is NOT a curse. It is NOT a disease. You won’t be sent out of heaven if you don’t marry BUT marrying the wrong person can take you straight to hell, boko haram style.
Psychologists have even proved that the wrong person can reduce the quality of your life by 62%. Wow!!!! That is HUGE. Tz way better to be single hoping to be married than to be married, living with the fear of Boko haram and craving singlehood ooo.
Shine your eyes, shine your brain and of course, shine your spirit.
Don’t sacrifice your future on the altar of just being a Mrs…
Let’s do this exercise baby…
Get a mirror…look at your beautiful face therein. God-girl that you are.
I am worth more than any Boko-haramization!!!
I am Priced far above rubies.
Too precious to God.
Sugar daughter of THE only Sugar Daddy.
I am God’s biggest deal. He’s invested His ALL in me so I can’t miss it marriage wise cos He’s got His eyes on me.
He will perfect it for me at the right time. He that would come will come and not tarry. I will patiently wait for him while working on myself to be the best mum for my kids.
And I do owe my kids the best Daddy too.
I deserve more than a ticking time bomb.
I will let that loser go… I release him even though it hurts. I sow him as a seed to God. He will bring me a bountiful harvest. My very own David. My perfect slice of heaven. My heaven. My very own ‘Love like a movie’.
*feel free to add more darling*
You are a King’s daughter baby. Don’t settle for less. Don’t reduce your standards so low that even lizards can apply and of course at the same time, don’t raise them so high even the Pope can’t apply. Wisdom!!!
Like I said, information is everywhere yo!!! Good ones ooo. Don’t even think your speaking in tongues alone will teach you all you need to know. Try learning to drive by just scabashing and come back to tell me how that goes. Please nne, deliberately read good books, attend good seminars (like LDM), buy messages, etc.
Now I know there will be some married women who are in some kinda haramic situation reading this. My heart bleeds for you. Gosh!!! So what do you do? Can I be sincere with you here?
I dunno. Truth. Cos situations are peculiar. I can’t say what you should do here but I do know you can get counselling. Customised counselling. If you really do need one, I could hook you up. More than anything, you can too pray. Yes PRAY. Gragra won’t do shingbai. God can and will teach you what to do.
Which is why I love to talk more to the Singles. You have the opportunity to get it right. You can still press the CAUTION button and check out every man to be sure He is not a Boko-haram member.
Which is why I’m delighted to invite you to this month’s LDM seminar in Abuja themed
CAUTION for Singles!!!
I mean, if you don’t know, you can learn yeah?
Cos that safety sign C can be the difference between heaven and Boko-haram.
Of course you know David’s Christian Centre got relationship on a lock down yeah?
Like we do relationship right. Right from our Senior Pastor to the Ministers and then Eziaha (loool) and the rest of us, we just dey enjoy heaven on earth in our marriages. So when we call a relationship seminar, clear your schedule and come!!!
This Sunday April 13. Petrus Hotel, off Gimbaya street (after Toprank Hotel), Area 11, Garki Abuja. 4.30pm
My Pastor drops it like He hears it. Undiluted and Powerful!!! You don’t wanna miss it. Single or married, this meeting will bless you…
See you there *winks*
Stay FAB darlings.
Yes. Posts come up here once a week now. At the weekends. Seldom twice.
I know, stop protesting already hehehe.
By the way, you guys major rock!!! #FAB4Life
Oh btw, you can reach me on firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @eziahaa
Cos I am super nice, I have attached a couple of links to posts that can help my Single Sisters out there…
@inthemidstofher The measure of a (1st Tim 3) man http://www.inthemidstofher.com/2011/03/my-criteriathe-measure-of-man-part-1.html?m=1 (while on her blog, snoop around for Part 2)
Don’t marry Him if… by E’ https://eziaha.com/about/messages-i-have-transcribed/ (Just click and enjoy the relationship posts there)
Why don’t you have a Pastor? By Pastor Mildred Okonkwo http://justusgirlsnaija.com/2014/03/29/why-dont-you-have-a-pastor/
Dangerous men by my Booski http://dumebie.com/2014/03/17/dangerous-men/
Guys, you can actually just read between the lines and know the kind of ladies who have enlisted in the BH army.
Someday God will help me transcribe ‘Don’t marry her if…’ By Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo.
Until then, just believe God. Lol