On my way to work today, I was dosing up on my usual every morning tonic on Inspiration FM, ‘The wake up show with Eyo and Dallas’. Totally hilarious, those two boys. After their usual drama, they introduced the topic of today and it was on spanking a child, whether it be right or wrong…
*Oh the school assembly is on right about now and they are singing my all time favorite hymn – Now thank we all God…’ I love that hymn mega…*
Ok where was I?
Ehen spanking. Several parents called in and had various opinions. Even though some didn’t believe in it but rather encouraged dialogue, ALL had spanked their kids before and ALL were mega spanked by their parents.
I am sure that all of us reading were spanked by our parents. In fact, borderline abused sef…Lol
Ok so because we live by the Word, I would rather share with you the Word rather than my opinion.
Oya open your bibles…
Young people are prone to foolishness and fads: the cure comes through TOUGH-MINDED discipline… TM
Just in case tough minded discipline seems vague…
A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE will drive it far away… NLT
And if physical discipline has an ambiguity to it still…
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child but the ROD OF DISCIPLINE/CORRECTION will drive it FAR from him… AMP/KJV
Ehen… ROD. That sorta settles this yeah? I will be back to explain the kinda rod before someone says Eziahakaego is recommending IRON RODS on kids LOL
Btw, I said Eziahakaego not E’ cos I wanted to say that the full meaning of my BIBLICAL name is found in the very first verse of that chapter.
A GOOD NAME IS RATHER TO BE CHOSEN/BETTER THAN WEALTH… Prov 22:1a
Ok where were we? I just said that to say that if your name is NOT EXPRESSLY in the bible, you need a NEW NAME… Lol
Look ehn, I believe in dialogue ooo. But dialogue and flogging too. You can’t be wiser that God and He has recommended ROD so hellurrrr…
Dialogue alone can’t remove the FOOLISHNESS ooo.
Like one of the Callers said, he overheard his 10 year old son boast to his friend ‘My daddy will NOT beat me no matter what I do…’ Kai, that is a classic recipe for a disaster of a son when he grows. Dude said prior to then, he NEVER recommended beating but on hearing that, he set trap for the boy and when he fell in, he got THE BEATING lol.
I say, ‘Wise man…’
Even the bible recommends ROD AND DIALOGUE… You didn’t know…
Proverbs 29:15 A rod and a reprimand/rebuke impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined/left to himself/gets his own way/ disgraces its mother (and father and siblings and generation)_… E’s MIX version
So while you hold your cane in one hand, you hold dialogue in the other hand…
In most schools including mine, the teachers are not allowed to flog the children. There are more ‘corporate punishments’ we give, and that makes sense. Some teachers may just vex and abuse a child all in the name of spanking so I ENDORSE that one. Now there is a disciplinary unit which would flog if need be. So the spanking is standardized and moderate before someone carries gbese of another man’s child.
Moreover, I already mentioned in a previous Post that the school and teachers can NOT train your child for you. At best, it is is PARENTS-TEACHER COLLABO so please do the spanking yourself and make the teacher’s work easier, thank you!!!
And no, spanking does NOT kill ooo. I know some parents think you would mess up with a child’s psychology and stuff if you spank. Again, God gave you that child and He endorses spanking. You can’t be wiser that God. The child is first God’s child before yours. And He says…
Don’t fail to discipline your children. They won’t die if you spank them/strike them with a rod. Physical discipline may well save them from death… Prov 23:13-14
I especially LOVE how The Message puts it
Don’t be afraid to correct your young ones; a spanking won’t kill them. A GOOD SPANKING, in fact, might save them from something worse than death.
Aha… Like becoming gay, stupid, thieves, wayward, cheats, fraudsters, Yahoo yahoo boys, etc.
Spank them now ooo. So that you can avoid shame later.
All this I love my child, I can’t afford to spank them is just plain FOOLISH ooo because it goes against scripture prescription. One parent actually said once he spanked his daughter, he felt so bad and wasn’t himself till the next day and went to apologize to her and promised her it won’t happen again… And then did all the hugging, tears, mushy mushy kiss and makeup. Huh?!?!?!?! I almost threw up in the car… Choi…
If you love em, you will spank em…
He that spareth the rod HATETH HIS SON… but he that LOVETH him chasteneth him betimes…Prov 13:24
The NIV actually says if you love em, you are careful to DISCIPLINE THEM… Another says DILIGENT to discipline him.
The Message says ‘A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them’
Uka agbasago…end of dsicussion
See ehn, I can go on and on with biblical recommendations but you get the point already, I HOPE.
Now let us balance this up. What kinda discipline are we talking here?
Personally, I HATE SLAPS so I would recommend bum smacking when they are still younger and/or spanking on the palm as they grow older. All this strip, lie down, and them flog on the bare bum or back is PURE EVIL. Are they criminals?
I won’t mind knocking a child REASONABLY on the head (especially for a first time offence lol and not EVERYDAY ooo) or hitting you REASONABLY with my palm on the back.
I also am not cool with this one where you flog the child all over the body. You never know ooo, if cane fly enter eye biko. Moreover that happens ESPECIALLY when the parent is VERY PISSED and I love what a parent said about that. He said when he is very upset, he tells the child to kneel for sometime so he can simmer down some before he flogs. Cos if he hurts her too much, guess who will pay hospital bills?
One mentioned belt that he once used to flog… HELL NO!!! Belt is a NO NO and frankly I don’t care what they have done. Except we are dealing with above 18 adults in which case I wonder why you are still spanking. It probably means you spared the rod while he was younger. Probably…
In Adichie’s ‘The thing around your neck…’ the very first story CELL ONE which is a true life in which she talks about her brother Nnamabia who was NEVER disciplined because his momma over-loved him and overlooked all the small small crimes he committed as a child until he landed in Prison in the University and brought shame and hardship to the family.
That story gave me goosebumps… I teared up while reading it.
I also believe in corporate punishments and taking away some privileges (in addition to good ol’ SPANKING of course) and whatever it is has to hurt the child. Not something stupid like a caller said his friend’s punishment used to be…
‘You won’t fly first class, you would fly business class…’
Or the JOKE called NAUGHTY CORNER even in Nigeria. ‘Go to the naughty corner and face the wall…’
When I got off the radio, I called Aku m and told him about the topic and what people said, he was like
‘In Nigeria? But even the Bible recommends it…’ and I am like ‘I am marrying well abeg…’
Not the one where he will be forming ‘Naughty corner’ and stop me from spanking…
For me ooo, my twin girls had better know spanking comes with the LOVE package. I love you girls too much already to NOT spank you. Foolishness is BOUND up in the heart of a child and tz the rod of correction that can drive it out. Like one of the kids who talked on the phone after his momma, he said he didn’t like the spanking and when Eyo told him ‘Ok stop being naughty’ and dude said he can’t. You see. Spanking can set things straight fast ooo. Dialogue ko. Spank then dialogue.
Someone said the kids won’t be close to you and a woman said her kids are VERY close to her cos after the spanking she brings them close and explains why she did and NOT to apologize for. Instead it is the kids that end up apologizing and most likely, they don’t repeat that stuff again…
My parents spanked us though looking back I think somethings were not right with that spanking but still…
My sister spanks her kids and because they grew up with me, I spank em too.
Spank em wella sef.
Now that the first is a teenager, I don’t spank her again and her mom spanks her less because she is losing the foolishness small small.
Plus she likes parties and sleepovers and going shopping so sometimes all we need now is to tell her that she won’t do any of the above and wham, chic behaves. Lol. Even my nephew that is just under two gets spanked too…
Just find what works and work it the GOD way aii…
Now one more scripture for the road…
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it… Prov 22:6
Btw, may I add that spanking is not the ONLY way to train a child. Some kids got all the spanking and yet turned out bad. Training a child requires wisdom. Ask God for it.
Have a FAB week ahead hon…
For more about my nieces and our last Christmas holiday, read here
I forgot to ask how your weekend was. Mine was all shades of awesome. I already gave a hint in this post on BUILDING THEM NO ALTARS which I noticed many people haven’t read yet. Twitter is just my blog’s best marketing tool. The more I twet, the higher my traffic and I have not really been tweeting… Gosh. No time. Sha read jor… and comment. I feel like it is my BEST post yet and very timely too.
Ok so weekend was amazing. Spent the friday into saturday kidnapped by my bestie and her hubby but we had a great time
and Sapphire and I spent all night gisting and seeing movies.
The next day we picked up my boo from the airport and we went to Ibadan to see my darling Rev and his darling wife.
And other epeople… I also got to eat amala and abula thanks to lizzy…
Rode back to Lag with Rev and Lizzy while Le Boo returned to base. Came straight to church and had a great time in church and closed some good deals too. Amazing weekend indeed. Stressful but fulfilling. We achieved all we had to achieve. Told my boss on our way to work that mine trumped hers. She didn’t argue… She just said ‘when your heartbeat was around how won’t it trump mine? Mschewww’
This week is even looking BETTER AND BRIGHTER AND LOVELIER ALREADY. God is too faithful…