church,DATINGand MARRIAGE,dcc,relationship messages

Your Girlfriend is NOT your wife… Part 1

Your girlfriend is NOT your wife…

So this message was preached a few years back by my Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo…

papa k

I am not sure where he preached it but does it matter? I doubt… I ma just happy he preached it because it is like one of my most fave messages…

It has a lot of yabis sha but ladies… No vex… I will try and tone it down some but I promise sha, it may still be scathing for some…

You see eh, not every woman is a wife ooo. Guys sadly know how to follow hips but the real qualities they do not look out for and guess who gets burnt?

And the average woman? She is stuck in a world that is NOT real… Hollywood, Mills and Boons, Nollywood, etc. Oh did I mention the magazines and websites that almost move me to tears with how FAKE they are…And ths orry LOVE prescriptions they offer…


Truth is, if you don’t know the qualities that work, you can learn. Don’t be allergic to knowledge. So read this (which is of course not exhaustive) and share with everyone you know… Ladies and Gentlemen alike…

Ok let’s separate the girlfriends from the wifeys…

Again, message by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo of David’s Christian centre, but I would of course color it with some E’ flava for your reading pleasure…


Proverbs 18; 22… He who finds a wife finds a good thing…

For Pk, it is just incredible how and why single men can not see. Infact, a National prayer meeting just for VISION so that they can see what true virtues are…

Not hips, lips and finger tips…

Sadly, most single men are looking for girlfriends and NOT wives. BLIND AS A BAT yo… It takes training to see… Many are the eyes that look, few are the eyes that see…

Eg, some men are still more interested in the lady being slim than the virtues within. Slim, tall and fair is what most men want even unknowingly. Sometimes, wives don’t come like that… Wives may NOT be too tall, a bit plump, dark sometimes… Some men actually don’t know that when that woman gets pregnant and starts dropping, she may lose the slim oooo… I mean, it is NOT bad in itself to want certain physical qualities but it should be reasonable. What should be uncompromisable should be the inner values and virtues… So if it is only shape you married for, if she loses it, that marriage may be on a downward spiral…

Usually, when couples come in for counseling because of issues in their marriage, PK says one of the first thing he asks them is

‘…Where did you meet?’

Because there are places you meet girlfriends and there are places you meet wives. Eg, Rebekah was found at the well at the time when diligent women come to draw water… Location is important.

Another question he asks is ‘…why did you marry him or her?’

That’s how you trace a faulty foundation. Cos some of the answers are CRAZY mehn… some even say they do NOT even know why… When hips have blinded you… loool.

Some say, someone, an agent linked them up. Looool.

It is usually girlfriends that have agents that are looking for husband for them Not wives. They have self dignity. There are some channels and mediums used to meet men that smell of desperation eg dating sites, radio shows where you drop your number and email addy and credentials looool. Ihe uwa sha

‘Call me if you need a wife…’


And PK said he has met with MANY men who have hooked up with all these internet girls, slept with them EASILY and dumped them. Chai, ladies be wise na… That is cos the men know that for you to drop your number anywhere online, you are desperate and would give in to their any desires since you dey find husband desperately. A guy even asked PK for prayers against fornication cos he was sleeping with them internet girls on  per second billing.

That is how CHEAP they are.


Nne eh, if you marry on the internet, you will most likely enter a net. Wives are NOT met like that. Even if the world pressures you, resist the temptation to make yourself cheap or unnecessarily available.

Any thing too common diminishes in value (Got this line from my Papa TD Jakes. Love HIM HUGE)

Prov 18;22

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord…

In the kingdom of God, we don’t find babes or girlfriends, we find WIVES. You are first a wife before you are married. If doesn’t jump on you on the altar. The man leaves his mom and dad and cleaves to his WIFE.

Please don’t get me started on the Bomboys… ewwwwwww

Prov 31; 30

Beauty is vain, charm is deceitful. A woman that fears the LORD is what we talking about yo!!! (Loool that is my remix)

Not that it is bad ooo but for beauty and charm to be the major reason you are getting married…??? No Sir…

So if you don’t have the CD ‘7questions wise women’ ask, this is a good time to go and buy it…

Oh wait… I have already blogged about it before…

Oh sorry, that was 7 qualities wise men want… (search my blog)

Go and buy the CD jor. Call 08077714411 or 08028356363 to order jor…

This is a good place to stop… Check back in two days (Tuesday) for Part 2…

I will kick that off by discussing one of the 7 QUESTIONS WISE WOMEN ASK… And then we will proceed proper into separating the girlfriends from wives…





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  • Reply
    August 18, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    Attagirl,he who finds a wife na hm bible talk no b she who find a husband!ladies pls let’s say no to autosuggestion !God wil help us in Jesus name.

    • Reply
      August 18, 2013 at 2:17 pm

      Looool at auto suggestion Hahaha My pastor bimbo (rest her soul) used to jokingly say that maybe if God gave the woman the task of finding, they would have done a better job… Cos these men sha Some of them that is… Sha ladies wait oooo Tz well E’

  • Reply
    August 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Much respect fσr †нε ladies who can attract a man’s attention wι†н her personality rather †нαη †нε shape of her body!

    • Reply
      August 18, 2013 at 2:15 pm

      Much respect ooo
      And the funny thing is that even the men know that auch don’t last
      The real men that is…
      Sometimes even the stupid ones
      So they mess with girlfriendssss and then go look for a wife when they wanna settle down
      Oh but there is a karma alright

  • Reply
    Kemi Aribisala
    August 22, 2013 at 7:34 am

    Anything too. Common dminishes in value.#word! The truth of the matter is, guys are not to be blamed to an extent cos some sistas re selling themselves so cheap and that’s disheartening. “Many are the eyes that look, few are the eyes that see.Now, let me rephrase; For many eyes that look are visionless and many eyes that see are visioneers. LOL Sisters O sisters be wise!

    • Reply
      August 22, 2013 at 9:49 am

      I like the rephrase
      Love actually

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