’Eziaha get your sh*t together…’’
I don’t mean to be blasphemous ooo but I truly feel like those were the words of the Holy spirit to me sometime last week when I was about to go all the way off with a bad attitude I thought I could justify.
You see, I had my day planned like I wanted it to go but then, I stepped out of the house and a few people in the universe didn’t get my memo and so were making my day go otherwise.
I was in a supermarket at the time and yet again, someone upset me but just before I said a word and reacted emotionally, the Holy spirit told me
Eziaha, get your sh*t together
You can’t afford to push out bad attitude. Nobody really is your problem; YOU ARE YOUR OWN PROBLEM so fix yourself
Ok, well!!! Thank you!!!
But as shocked as I was that Jesus wasn’t joining my pity/attitude/blame party, I also knew I was losing it, and any external manifestation of bad behavior whether in reaction to what someone did to me or not, was strictly my internal crap to deal with, not them
I immediately cancelled my day, came back home, brought out my pretty pink journal and wrote out my entire thoughts to Him, with a firm promise not to complain or have an attitude. It didn’t matter what was going on around me, I would get my sh*t all the way together so I don’t stink.
Two seconds later, one of my mentees sends me a message. She was about to lose it about a few things in her life. Yes, like me some of it were justified BUT when we walk with God ehn, we soon learn that obedience needs to happen whether or not our converse actions are justified.
So, like the Holy spirit told me, I told her to get her sh*t together and look inward FIRST before doing anything outwardly. That is where the real battle is. For me, going back home and journaling fixed my life!!! Once that was sorted, there was not an external fight anymore to navigate. The internal victory had handed me all round victory.
Why? Cos, I got my crap together.
One thing I continue to learn this year is how I MUST take responsibility for my own life. Ah!!! No, my sister, I can’t blame anyone again. Once I take my tail and sit before God on ANY matter, He lets me see how Eziaha must take responsibility. Sometimes people are apologizing to me about a matter that really deserves an apology but I don’t see why, cos I have taken responsibility for my own part IN FULL. I am not outsourcing any area of my life, please. Everything now is viewed from the lens of ‘What can I do better?’
Ah that level is the real deal ooo. Cos you are saved a TON of heartache and drama. Eish!!!
Recently, someone in my life upset me. Just as I processed it, the Lord started to show me how it was also my fault. You see, this human being is what I call HIGH MAINTAINANCE. But not in physical cash, but in emotions. I realized that for all the years I have known her, I have walked around her as one walking on egg shells. I always didn’t want to seem insensitive, or mean, so I would always seek to manage her emotions. A recent event however shook it and I found myself exhaling in relief.
For the many years I have known her, I have held my breath and I didn’t know. Sadly, it hasn’t done her much good cos high maintenance people don’t get to keep rich authentic relationships. At least with those that matter. They only have depth with butt lickers and emotional people and sadly. Nothing EPIC happens at that table.
So, like I said, instead of blaming her, I looked inward and repented for every time I held my breath and treated cautiously when I should have dealt with her with tough love. I squirm at every time I smiled and hugged when I should have scolded and firmly corrected without a smile. Sadly, I didn’t help her get her sh*t together so she is dealing with a stench. It is really sad.
I also quickly looked inward my own life to see if there are relationships where people may term me HIGH MAINTAINANCE emotionally. I recall about 3 weeks ago Pastor M called me to the carpet on something I had done. Gosh, I cried and cried and cried my eyes out, but not when she was talking to me. I did that in private, and then moved on to fix the issue that was a problem. I then went back to her and SINCERELY thanked her for calling me out on my (yes you guessed right) SH*T.
What if I was this hugely emotional human who everyone is scared to correct cos she would come with an attitude or 7? Gosh that scares me. I want to be called out where I stink, whether by the sweet Holy spirit or humans. I don’t wanna react to things emotionally whether in my private life or as I relate with people.
I don’t wanna fall apart when the going gets tough. I don’t wanna stink on the big stages and places of life, which is why I embrace correction very well now. I didn’t cut away from Pastor M cos she corrected me. I even further gave her permission to call me out on anything else if she ever sees it.
This week, and going forward, can we Christians who have the Holy Spirit of God get our sh*t together? We need to stop going around with a stench and replace that with a sweet fragrance of the sweet Holy spirit.