Hey Blog fam…
Let me start with happy news before I go IN, cos the girl is going all the way in on this blog.
First, my blog works PURRFECTLY now, ditto my email accounts, my FAB E’Reader App and all.
At the end of this post, I will bring you up to speed on the blog posts you may have missed when it was malfunctioning. And also, info on TFS Here if you applied.
Ok let’s go IN. I am slightly riled about this topic but I believe it is going to set A WORLD of us FREE!!!
What exactly does that mean? I won’t be referring to the dictionary but in my own terms, being vulnerable is sharing a less than perfect or even OK part about you publicly in a bid to show others that ‘me too…’
You are not in the struggle alone. I too have my less than fine moments.
You totally messed up your diet and have fallen yakata off the band wagon? Oh, me too, I have days like that.
You were disrespectful and not submissive to your husband? Me too. That was me, Tuesday last week.
You gained weight over the holidays. Me too!!! You should see my belly nekkid…
You have trouble waking up to your alarm every day? Me too. Last week was the WORST for me.
You let your kids watch hours and hours of TV? Me too. Sometimes, I just need that break.
You get the point by now…
We share our vulnerabilities, weaknesses, if you like, in a bid to CONNECT with others.
Nothing wrong with that, honey.
My problem is with faux vulnerability.
Faux vulnerability is when you don’t share the FULL STORY. You connect with people in their dump, BUT you leave them there because you didn’t tell them that UNLIKE THEM, that is NOT the norm for you and so it better NOT be the norm for them
You too fell yakata off the fitfam wagon BUT hey, look at you in your size 10 but they are bursting out of size 18 cloths. You connected with them, made them know you too are in the struggle, but didn’t tell them that you have MORE days when you are ROCKING that wagon than days when you fall off. That’s why you are so fit, and they are, well, NOT!!!
They posted how they just finished a HUGE box of cookies and you connect with them on that level, but what you didn’t emphasize was the MANY days you said no to chocolate and ice cream, had a salad, green smoothies and stir fry eggs
You were disrespectful to your husband, but you didn’t tell them too that it only happened 3 times last year and it hasn’t even happened this year. No, you let them KNOW you are less than perfect, but you didn’t QUICKLY pull them up from their mess by sharing the MANY times you wanted to be disrespectful but weren’t. So, they take that your half story and make it their standard. Cos, they look up to you as an influencer, celebrity or role model.
You let your kids watch hours on end of TV? But girl, did you tell her that for the most times, your kids are on a routine that allows them a cumulative of 6hours TV time per week? Did you tell them that even those rare days when they watch more TV, you regulate what they are seeing and not exactly hand over raising your child to Nickelodeon and Disney Junior?
No, you didn’t…
Oh, you sleep past your alarm? But hey. That happened TWICE only in January, but she is sleeping past her alarm and having unproductive days every day. Somehow, she thinks that is what we are ALL doing. Then you go along smashing your goals while she is low key getting depressed daily.
JUST. STOP. IT!!!
I am tired of people, leaders in ANY capacity, doing this faux vulnerability thing. Telling half the story so they can connect and be liked, yet killing people softly, NOT!!!
Yesterday, I had a BAD day. I ate nonsense, didn’t work out, let KingDaveed watch at least 5hours of TV cumulatively, skipped lunch for my kids and gave them bread instead, didn’t pray until almost midnight, didn’t read my Bible, and so on.
If you come to me and tell me you had a bad day, yes, I will connect with you by sharing my story, but you will be a JOKER if you think that is my life. In that bad day, I still did a whole exam, got a distinction and added another certification to my bag.
By 10pm, I was at my work desk redeeming what I could of the day, and did a whole schedule complete with assigned priorities for the next day, and kissed sleep for the night goodbye. I may have bad days but I don’t live in bad days.
And that is what I want for you. I can’t get on the mat with you and only be like
‘Oh, group hug for bad days’
No honey, NO!!!
I will call you higher cos girl, you are MORE than that.
I will show you my weakness and vulnerabilities but before satan gets the day, I will also show you MY STRENGTHS
I connect with you through my weaknesses BUT I have to lead you WITH MY STRENGTHS
What it means is I may not tell you what your itchy ears wanna hear. I may actually have to call you LAZY.
Tell you how you lack discipline.
Show you your sin, cos I want you to repent and DO BETTER.
Sadly, most people in leadership, in this crazy world today of social media and the likes only wanna connect with and engage you, but they leave off their strengths cos they don’t want to be unpopular with you.
6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”
7 “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
8 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 9 At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
Girl listen. And think for 2 seconds about this…
If there is someone you admire who practices faux vulnerability, do you THINK that is how she got there? Achieving those things that make you admire her?
Can I quickly talk to you who falls for these stupid faux vulnerabilities?
Girl, wash your face and get some sense/wisdom.
Don’t be deceived by those one-off moments and think
Well, even XXX does that
No honey, she doesn’t. but she thinks if she tells you the whole truth, you MAY stop liking her posts on Instagram, so she connects with you, validates your emotions, but nothing changes.
Actually, things change… FOR THE WORSE!!!
You can tell I am ANGRY right?
Cos people in any kind of leadership position, who have a platform, should KNOW better and DO BETTER.
God has given you a platform where people, God’s children look up to you, but you treat it anyhow cos you wanna be popular?
Now of course, I know there are people, leaders who share in full, but people they lead conveniently skip the strengths. I am not talking about you. I am talking about those who are killing others with FAUX VULNERABILTY
Girls, let’s do better!!!
Wisdom, common sense, and love
So, I said I would catch yawl up on the blog. A few things
1. Lawyer and Blogger, Omowunmi, one of the awesome ladies in my discipleship program (HYPER LINK), shared something I said to her about 5 KINDS OF MENTOR FIGURES WE ALL NEED. It is SO GOOD. Find it here
2. Funmi and Roseeeeee are two of my people who have also shared their journey so far on discipleship. I get the privilege of discipling 10 ladies and let me tell you guys, I AM SEEING CHANGE I want to SCREAM!!!! Time to time, they will get real estate on my blog to share what they are learning so yawl can pick what you can. Check their stories here and here.
3. Domestic Queens, are yawl READY?
Worship & War-ship comes up NEXT month and I did a whole post with details here. Check it out please and register already: bit.ly/Powwowqueens
4. On a professional level, CoachE’ launched a whole new program, His&Hers Squad and all the details are HERE
5. If you applied for TFS, expect my mail today, whether you are selected or not. Thank you to everyone who applied. Sadly, I cannot take more than 5 cos I wanna really give all, and with the way my life is slammed, I can only give my best to
Ok that’s all.