I am slightly riled as I write this and it has absolutely nothing to do with the post, but I hope I can bring this post to life despite my slight riley-ness haha.
Hope yawl are keeping well, or even if there are issues, you are finding healthy and godly ways to solve them? I am tempted to say you can talk to me, but I KNOW that I may NOT be the person for you to talk with, plus I have been known to speak THE TRUTH in love, NOT A LIE/SWEETWORDS in love cos I am here for change not enablement.
Anyways, I am praying you are working through whatever challenges you may be facing, and not making permanent or grave consequence behaviors on temporary, WORKABLE situations.
Context for my talk is in this post right here and I am kinda continuing on that thought, though in a different direction…
Heather Lindsey put up this amazing thought on the behind the scenes of a Pastor’s life as she shared her thoughts on Pastor Andrew’s attempted suicide and death. I quote the parts I wanna kinda unpack a little bit more…
The full quote you can find here and it really is by Ra’Shan Wilson
Plus that post rocks. My Pastor is asking the important question.. Is your Pastor OK?
Read all of this:
“People who RUN [to] pastoring scare me… You’re running to nights away from your wife, studying till morning to secure a “word” that will help encourage, empower and uplift people who won’t show up to hear it; or respect you enough to at least let you know they’re not coming…
…You’re running to some individuals who have an expectation OF YOU that outweighs their commitment TO YOU.
That represents the kinda burden a Pastor has to navigate and even though you may think THEY HAVE A CHOICE abeg. They DO NOT HAVE TO BE ALL THAT. I agree. But even the most detached Pastor still has a level of pressure to pull through. Just as you have in your own assignments, but the EXPECTATION from our Pastors is higher, because we see their own calling as THE CALLING and so they are expected to be ALL THAT AND MORE TO US.
But maybe, we can make this load a little lighter. Maybe we can help just a little bit more to make your Pastor be just a little bit more OK…
Gosh, I am SO GLAD you asked.
Here is something that works personally FOR ME!!!
I build MY OWN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD!!!
What a revelation Eziaha.
But seriously though, I have realized that while my Pastor is there to guide and counsel me, he doesn’t become God and the closer that I get to God, the less pressure I put on my Pastor OR ANYBODY to be anything to me. I just go straight to the Source when challenges come. Then see if He leads me to anyone else.
Now, I need to point out two things. First, I said to BUILD and then ‘the closer I get to God’
Both above speak about a process. At the beginning, I am still a baby so I may find myself running to them more and more, but sister, PLEASE GROW!!!!!!!!!!!
You can’t continue to run to them for every last thing. That pressure is too much. RUN TO GOD!!! He can take it. Lose the crutches gradually but surely.
Today, as I fed KingDaveed lunch, at some point, he started dragging spoon with me that he wanted to feed himself. I let him be. And he did. He made a mess but this was GROWTH mehn. And guess what, the more he does it, the less mess he makes.
So yes, please GROW!!!
It is perfectly OK to make a few mistakes along the way but hey, it won’t kill you.
Now that doesn’t mean you NEVER go to your Pastor ooo.
Mba. For now, KingDaveed still NEEDS me to COOK HIS FOOD, and SERVE HIM but he can eat.
In fact, when it comes to some kinda foods like finger foods, say fried plantain, Chips, Bread, etx, he feeds himself well. If he is still saying Mummy feed me fried potatoes, then there is something wrong cos he can PERFECTLY do it.
Maybe he is just being LAZY and wants to put in no effort in his own growth and development. Matter of fact, some things he wants me to do which he can do himself is cos he is being lazy and maybe is so engrossed in a TV or YouTube cartoon. Of course, I no dey gree. Cos, I need for him to freaking GROW!!!
In the same vein, I have learned to not run to my Pastors every single time I have an issue, even though I enjoy the most beautiful gift of access no matter where they are.
Infact these days, I ask myself FIRST,
God do you WANT me to ask XYZ or will you SPEAK to me directly? Will someone else explain this better for me or do I just sit with my Bible till I get it.
I don’t wanna get from man what I can get directly from God. It pays me AND PAYS MY PASTOR TOO cos less wahala!!!
Ok because I AM ABOUT TO GO ALL THE WAY IN, I will move to the next point…
Please LISTEN TO THEM!!!!
I have heard people, CHURCH PEOPLE, despise the message from the pulpit and even PERSONAL COUNSEL from them. It is like they just spoke to themselves and not to the one who went for counsel, maybe cos they were expecting LIES AND ENABLING rubbish. And the way they even said it was like of course na, and somewhat expected that I see it as normal.
Now listen to me for 2 seconds, when I say listen to them, I don’t mean you have to take every last thing said.
Recall I said you should bring your growth game with Jesus up, so when you go to them for counsel, don’t suspend your spirit too.
Your Pastor is human and a few times may be off the mark in your specific situation, which is why most Pastors would say things like
‘…But pray about it…’ or ‘…I think you should…’
and no absolutes.
At least that is what my Pastors say. If you are thinking, well that is not what mine says, or maybe you feel like that isn’t the case for you, then feel free to check that God led you to that one.
Let me tell you, if God leads you to YOUR OWN PASTORS and Leaders, my sister, IT WILL ROCK!!!
And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding… Jer 3 v 15
Gosh, I am so STINKING FREAKING thankful for my PASTORS.
Oh, I am thankful for the knowledge they dish out to me FROM THE PULPIT and then PERSONALLY too.
I put pulpit and other general means first like their books, social media posts, blogs, videos, etx cos those means are valid too.
You cannot always expect a one on one, private and personal consultation. You can just get on YouTube and find a teaching.
More like be LED. I especially love this Scripture by my Bible boyfriend/Male Bessfren David…
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighted in his way… Ps 37 v 23
I declare almost daily that MY STEPS ONLINE AND OFFLINE are ordered by God. I don’t have a lot of physical human contact so I cant be waiting for physical steps, so I declare that even my online steps are ordered, so the same way I pray that I am led to the right answers from my Pastors and teachers even online cos it is NOT FAIR THAT EVERY SINGLE TIME, I go to my Pastor for every single thing, when she has a WHOLE BOOK or TEACHING SERIES ON THAT MATTER.
The BIGGEST influence in my life is Chris Caine
and with that Chick, my steps are ORDERED!!! Ditto Heather. I am thankful they share the way they do, cos I consider them my Pastors and Leaders and so I obey!!! Of course, weighing it with my own peculiar situation AND the Word of God.
Even at times I feel like ‘errrm, this doesn’t look like it is FOR ME…’ but I PERSIST IN HONOR.
I don’t just run off and start saying
…Imagine what this Pastor said to me, etx…
Which is why my relationship with God is the primary thing and from there I have a healthy relationship with my Pastors, Teachers and Leaders.
Chilllleeeeee I am SO DISTRACTED by Sarah Jakes Roberts cos she is bringing us a FIRE WORD at Elevation Church today so I gotta run.
Sis, Pastors are human beings too. While it makes sense that we just think,
Oh, but they don’t have to take the pressure nah, or they don’t even have to answer the call or give till they are dead, literally,
but let us also help them enjoy this call too.
If you won’t grow your personal relationship with God, you are adding to their wahala.
If you won’t listen and apply, you will just be vexing their spirit and making their labour for you in vain…
Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance… 1 Thess 5 v 12
Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit… Heb 13 v 17
If you keep disobeying them and getting into trouble, you hurt yes, but your leader and pastor who truly loves you hurts too, plus you now legit hit them with your double wahala.
Now let’s click some glasses, TO YOUR GROWTH!!!!
I am UNDONE!!! Sarah Jakes just preached FIRE at Elevation church.
Topic was EVERYTHING HAS TO GO and I am UNDONE!!!! Jesus.
Funny thing is when Holly came up to introduce her and started, I just suspected Sarah Jakes and she was the one.
IF YOU DIDN’T TUNE IN LIVE, PLEASE GET ON YOUTUBE TOMORROW AND LISTEN TO THAT MESSAGE.
Check Elevation Channel.
Did you read my post on answering 100 questions about me? it’s here