My friend Yinka invited me to her IG group for young wives to speak on PURPOSE in marriage.
Marriage is not the first topic I jump to talk about but the good thing is as I prayed, the Lord just opened my eyes to 3 seasons I have lived through in my own life as a wife, and told me to share on that. The network was super crappy that day so we didn’t achieve much but the Lord told me to do a post about it instead. My focus will be on the 3rd season which I am currently in, but follow me on this journey as I go right back to the first season…
The theme was THE PURPOSEFUL WIFE and basically how to have purpose still as a wife and in your marriage. I am pretty young in my marriage (4 years November) and I certainly am not the PURRFECT wife, but hey, I am happy to share what I have learned if it will help another…
So here we go…
SEASON ONE: PURPOSE BEFORE YOU ARE FOUND…
He that finds a WIFE… Proverbs 18v22
One of the most popular passages in the Bible on marriage and I like it because it calls the thing that is not as though it were… You are first a wife before you are found, so the presence or absence of a ring is not exactly what confers the status on you. I love how John Gray puts it… He says some of you ladies be walking in the spirit of GIRLFRIEND and expecting to be WIFED!!! Ouch…
As a single Chick hunnay, you BEST be walking in purpose, not waiting for a man to find you, wife you, and then give you purpose. Purpose is something we discover as we walk with God not when we become Mrs Somebody. I mean you should be so busy on PURPOSE’s lane that a man has to even do some work to catch your attention, and even then, when he finally has it, he can only sustain it if he too is working in purpose. A strong sense of purpose ultimately helps you make better choices because then, some comedians are auto eliminated as they wont fit in. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you gotta have your life ALL THE WAY together before the man turns up, NOPE. It doesn’t have to be perfect but you have an idea of what God is calling you into for life and are on the path to it. You are spending crazy time at His feet, In His presence, in His house, serving, learning, bettering yourself, etc. Whatever thing your hand had findeth to do, you are doing it well, whether as a student, a Corper, a Corporate mega Chick or one still looking for a job. You are filling your hours with productive activities in line with purpose and not just waiting for the man to find and wife you. Trust me baby, a PURPOSEFUL WOMAN IS ALWAYS MORE ATTRACTIVE.
In my case, I met Bolaji as an undergraduate.
I was serving like crazy in the house of God, I had just failed out of Pharmacy school and making that choice to NOT even smell the Sciences anymore because I KNEW that God didn’t put a Science bone in me (I ended up in Sociology for those who don’t know my story, and not only graduated with a first class, but also made Best Graduating Student in the same school. Hopefully will share that story in full on the blog or vlog soon).
That single decision to cross into the Social sciences laid the kinda foundation that I am still building on per productivity, balance, and fruitfulness cos I learned a LOT there cos that season was GANGSTA full and BUSY. In church, I was serving in various units including Press and Publicity where I later became the HOD. I was also writing constantly on my Facebook notes because I knew writing was part of God’s gift to me to serve humanity. Even in my hall, I was Managing Editor of the Hall Press. I also started my blog at the time too. I hosted a TV program too because I knew I had media in my future. I also had a social media management job which I did proxy for Emzor, all of which I didn’t know how much they were setting me up for the future. See how my life today just reflects all I did with my single days, even BEFORE I was found and we started courting. Bolaji saw me cradle all these responsibilities, wasn’t intimidated by it, instead supported me and even kept giving me better beta prophecies about my future (I NEVER FORGET how he kept telling me that God told him I was going to be a GLOBAL figure). I had an ex who with all I did kinda made me feel like I was just doing too much and soon I would pipe down. I still recall the term he used… ‘Initial gragra’ lol. So you see why I said a strong sense of purpose helps with your choices? When my ex was trying to make a comeback and I was almost falling, I could easily place side by side both of them and see that Bolaji indeed would help me birth all that God had put on my inside, while the other brother would have made me a by-force housewife cos he was RICCCCCH lol. I am serious though.
Ok I certainly didn’t plan to spend this much time talking about Purpose in singleness first as a foundation but the Lord just kept reminding me of truly just how important that season is. If you are purposeless, the chances that you settle for any guy that says HI would be HIGH, and we most likely would end up with the wrong choice.
Again, a strong sense of purpose helps us as singles make wiser spouse choices and a PURPOSEFUL single woman is always more attractive.
I can already see that this will have to be in 3 parts so see you tomorrow with the second part where I discus my second season where I started out and then lost it as a PURPOSEFUL wife in marriage.
Btw, do you know you can subscribe to my blog so you get email notifications when I blog? The subscribe pop-up appears on the homepage, or you can just scroll to the end of the blog and fill in your email there.
Ok darlings, good night and see you tomorrow
If there is something you specifically want me to address on PURPOSE as a wife, please ask in the comments and I could take that into consideration if I get it before I am done with this series or I could collate the questions and address in a fourth post on same topic but next month…