MomE' Diaries,motherhood

#AugustFruitful31.24… MommyE’Diaries… BOUNDARIES & STRUCTURES

Ok so the time is currently 10mins to 11pm and I am just about to type today’s blog. I have just finished working on CoachE’ posts for the next 5days and posts to go up on my personal page for the weekend.
I plan these things in advance most of the time so I am glad that my Social media Assistants can handle my social media for the next couple of days while I plan even more ahead.
Ok so as I started work at about 8pm tonight, my son was beside me and watching Barney and the likes on YouTube. He’s had dinner and brushed his teeth so was good for bedtime. I kept looking at the time waiting for 9pm and the moment it hit, I took my phone away, took him to pee and we went to his bed. Knelt down, prayed a Psalm over him from his Bible, prayed a bedtime prayer, and put him on the bed, covered him, kissed him, told him I love him and had him repeat it to me, put off the light, and left. He fell asleep in minutes.
I couldn’t help but thank God for all the mommy wisdom He has given me mehn!!!
Phew!!!

GOD’S WARRIOR… KingDaveed

This week in my SavedFit&Pregnant Squad, I was sharing with one of the moms especially how IMPORTANT structures are for our kids, since she is gearing up to be a mom of 2 under 2 and outside Nigeria too where you can’t just get a maid. Gosh, we MUST train these children with structures and boundaries if not we will realize that we spend an entire day being exhausted from being mommy alone and nothing else, meanwhile there is SO MUCH MORE to us.
I love something Lisa said…

she said that our kids ARE NOT to be treated as though they are the CENTER of our worlds and so EVERYTHING revolves around them. NOPE!!! We were here long before them, and they have been ADDED TO OUR LIVES not to dictate the pace, but to obey whatever things we have put in place for them – boundaries, structures, disciplines and more – so that they grown up into RESPONSIBLE adults and you as a mom can be FRUITFUL too.

I loved it.
So while I absolutely ridiculously LOVE my son, I make sure I TRAIN him in the right way too even if he has to cry through it.
I recall those days when I lived alone with him, No daddy and no help and no daycare either. I would be SOOOOO overwhelmed. I had to take him everywhere with me, backing him, and even inside the home, he was soooooo clingy and would demand that I CARRY him everywhere too. infact, if I am backing him, I must stand up and be pacing, imagine. I literally could NOT breathe without him. Or was it the other way round. Either ways, it wasTOUGH. I cried. A LOT!!! I was mentally, emotionally and physically SPENT. Days morphed into days and I didn t achieve much with my life. While motherhood is a calling, I truly believe that being fruitful in other areas of your life as a woman, especially with what god has deposited in you to birth, truly makes for a richer MOMMY life. For more, please read my blogs on what Pst Dotun Arifalo said http://66.147.242.195/~eziahaco/2016/04/20/propheticmotherhood-what-pst-dotun-arifalo-said/ and what DDK said at Prophetic Motherhood here http://66.147.242.195/~eziahaco/2016/04/19/propheticmotherhood-what-ddk-said/

Thank God for wisdom. One day, after I had finished bawling, I heard the Holy Spirit tell me that I was the one suffering myself. And he said, fasten this boy on the high chair (he was about 1 at the time), put on an ABC learning song, make sure he is alright – no wet diapers or heat- and safe, put him right in front of the TV in the loving room, go inside your room and REST for some time ALONE. Oh my gosh, KingDaveed SCREAMED like he was being circumcised again LOL. But I needed to rest so I blocked the noise out and just relaxed for about an hour. By the time I came back out, he had settled of course.
My people, that was the beginning of training ooo. I started to let him cry when he insisted on being carried and backed every time. I started to spank him too. I got cane and cut it to his size lol. Siesta time was no longer an option. Night bedtime too. When it was time to sleep, I take him into the room, make sure the room temperature is right for him, stay a while in bed with him, then get up and leave, locking the door behind me. He will cry oooooo, then sleep off. This training was hard because KingDaveed is STRONG and STRONG WILLED sha, but me I put my foot down ooo. Even when we had to go out and I had to take buses or cabs with him, I would throw the cane in my bag and spank him when I needed to. Public or Private, discipline was key.
That was how I made room in my life to obey God in other areas of my life. When it was time to play, I was ALL IN. When it was time to do other things, I started to train him to let mommy be. Him being alone, within my supervision of course won’t kill him. He didn’t have to gumbody all the time. I got him toys he could play with alone. There was a period he would wake at night and I am awake trying to do XYZ and before, I would go back in bed, stay with him sometimes for up to an hour because every time I wanted to leave, he would wake. Ah, I stopped that ooo. Lol. When he wakes, he cries, self-soothes and goes back to bed himself. Those night seasons were my uninterrupted me-time abeg, and should be his sleep time. After some time, he would wake and sleep back on his own.
I also didn’t create confusing environments/situations for him. I was consistent. Not come inside when he is crying today, leave him to cry tomorrow. No matter how hard it was, I would let him cry it out so long as I knew he was fine otherwise.
I started to also teach him small small message like go and throw away your diapers, keep the dirty cloths in the laundry bag, bring wipes/diapers/changing mat, go keep your plate in the sink, etc. Those little things meant I could stretch leg sometimes biko. It also meant he started to see work as a natural part of life, not punishment.
Same thing when it was time to potty train. The moment he turned two, we began. I taught him well and some accidents required spanking which I did. He actually learned pretty fast I must say. Ditto when it was time to move him into his room and bed. This one was SOOOOO EASY I’m sure because he already knew that tears don’t work. First I made sure the bed and bedsheets were pretty and in cartoon characters he loved. So I set it up in the daytime, and he just kept jumping around it, etc. By night time, I got in with him, played, prayed, etc. and when I left, he cried for like 2mins and slept off. By day 2, we was good. Occasionally he still cries but NEVER for long. When he has siesta (I don’t enforce it these holidays though), he just stays in after he has been tucked in and sleeps off. I recall the first time hubby came in after he had moved to his bed, so hubby took him to his bed to see if he would stay or cry and come out. The boy stayed ooo. Hubs was so impressed. I am like ‘Are you trying me?’ I recall even with potty training, hubby thought it was too early too but I did it and he came home to see the results. When I stopped night diapers, hubby thought too early too but we have had REALLY few accidents and have saved A TON of money on diapers. Has it been stressful on my part? Yes!!! But someday, he will learn to wake up himself at night. Good to know I won’t have two kids in diapers. If I didn’t put in the hard work of training him now, we would have a boy without boundaries, who stays up at night till midnight, sleeps only when he is ready, watches TV all day, and more. Nope. Some days, I intentionally not let him see any cartoon but we do other kind of educational play. Even if he is on YouTube on my phone and I need my phone and he starts misbehaving, I let him know he won’t have it again.
I had to also TRAIN my help to get on board. I always tell any help who comes here that the fact that I am at home a lot doesn’t mean I am jobless, so there are times when I NEED to be ALONE working and in those times, I expect her to take complete charge of my son and the home. I tell her what and what activities to do with him, and all so nobody will be knocking on my door for one thing or the other. So I get into my workspace and lock the door. KingDaveed will know I am in and will come from time to time to knock, and then go away again. When I need to take a break, I go and play with him and all. Then go back in. Two days ago, my mom called and was like let her talk to KingDaveed and I said I was locked in and he was with my help, and she was like ‘This my daughter and her rules ehn…’ Lol. My dears, we mommies must have mommy wisdom ooo. We can’t do this mommy ride emotionally biko. If I don’t do like so, I won’t do anything all day.
I actually believe that God would give us the wisdom that we need FOR OUR OWN BABIES and homes. You don’t have to copy me, but what I know is that whatever method you chose to TRAIN your kids would require HARD WORK from you as the mom, but in the end, it will be soooo worth it.
Lisa Bevere said something in her latest blog devotional TO BE A MOTHER IS TO BE A WARRIOR…
‘Women intimately partner with God as they bear and raise children…’
Sooo true. I believe that as we walk with the Lord and spend time with Him, He will download the precise instructions we need to TRAIN AND RAISE our kids in such a way that they grow into responsible adults, and we lead and live rich fruitful lives too.
Seriously I look forward to having a second son because I am ready to put in the hard work to train so that I will see the fruits later… Plus KingDaveed will be on board to help me train his brother by observation especially so it will definitely be easier…
I hope this helps our mommies to be and new moms too…
They are not too young ooo, just walk with the Holy Spirit. You don’t have to ‘sufferhead’.
My next Powwow will be for stay at home moms in October/November where I will share even more practical tips on how to rock being a SAHMom even if you have an income-bringing job or not.
My desire is that more and more women enjoy motherhood to the max without compromising fruitfulness in other areas of their lives especially as SAHMoms.
See yawl tomorrow. It is almost midnight haha. Sure some of yawl thought I would miss today, maybe cos I don born haha.

Muah
E’

PS
I put up this pic above in a couple of places recently and I have had quite some.. WHERE DID YOU GET THE BED? etc. My dears, it is a regular 3ft by 6 bed ooo but to make it work for a Toddler, i had the carpenter make it closer to the ground, use CORRECT wood and then i chose the color i wanted it sprayed.

The good thing about where i live (Isheri) is that life is REALLY cheap so i got this bed for ALL OF 15K lol. My sis has same and she lives in VI and it definitely cost an arm and leg lol.

I also had my cot-bed resprayed in the same color theme

Ditto my boys’ room in general, the painting and all. Cost me close to nothing since i already had the concept in mind.

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16 Comments

  • Reply
    Bisola
    August 25, 2017 at 12:41 am

    Waoh! What great foresight you have in teaching him to be self sufficient and less clingy. Imagine having two clingy babies. You just saved yourself a whole load of stress when Prophet arrives. I don’t have a child but I imagine it must have been so hard for you emotionally in the beginning but once you saw it didn’t kill him plus the benefits you resolved and hardened your heart.
    Thank God for wisdom. And it will bear good fruits in Jesus name. Amen
    Thanks for this. Totally unexpected post but necessary.

    • Reply
      eziaharx@yahoo.com
      August 25, 2017 at 12:47 am

      haha i love how you said totally unexpected post. i certainly didnt think to write it till i shared with my preggos and it struck a chord then i thought MORE CHICKS SHOULD KNOW THIS please!!!
      Yes i really saved myself additional stress when baby 2 is born.
      ah!!!

  • Reply
    Sandra
    August 25, 2017 at 8:04 am

    You are so spot on with the discipline. I’ve been like that with my 3year old that sometimes I feel she might dislike me. Hi then again my primary responsibility is to train so it has to work.
    Thanks for the reminder that I’m not alone.
    I need to make the night time prayers and bible reading more regular in our night time routine.
    God bless you.

    • Reply
      eziaharx@yahoo.com
      August 25, 2017 at 12:58 pm

      Oh you def aren’t. The Lord loves us enough to spank us in His own way from time to time.
      Yup to bedtime routines of prayers and more

  • Reply
    Ezioma
    August 25, 2017 at 9:47 am

    I Love you Eziaha!

    • Reply
      eziaharx@yahoo.com
      August 25, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      Haha loversssssssss
      Eziiii darling

  • Reply
    Onyinye
    August 26, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Thanks for this Eziaha. So insightful as always

    • Reply
      eziaharx@yahoo.com
      August 26, 2017 at 7:53 pm

      My pleasure love

  • Reply
    requ1ne
    August 27, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    ❤️❤️❤️
    *multiple likes*
    Mommy tips saved for the future.
    It takes a disciplined mum to raise a disciplined child.

    Thank you Coach!

    • Reply
      eziaharx@yahoo.com
      August 27, 2017 at 8:07 pm

      EXACTLY

  • Reply
    Marylinda Collins-Ikenna
    August 29, 2017 at 11:25 am

    Need this one badly. Mum of two boys too 3 going on 4 and 1 going on 2. I don’t think I have been training well. Thanks for this. I have learnt a lot. God bless you.

    • Reply
      eziaharx@yahoo.com
      August 29, 2017 at 3:11 pm

      Awwww praise God mehn
      All the best mama as you partner with God to get this mommy job going

  • Reply
    Chibuzor Bajeh
    August 29, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    I thought i was the only one who has structures and boundaries for my son but hearing you talk about it shows me that i am not old school.started even before he was one.structures and boundaries are so important to kids.My son id going to be fourin Nov but people think he is older becos of how disciplined he is from his conduct and how he runs errands.Some people even think my own is much.I don’t joke with disciplining my son because I really want him to grow up in the way he should go and most importantly I also know that I am raising someone’s husband and father in the future .I started following Lisa recently but one person I have followed even before I got married as regards raising kids and marriage Is Stormie Omartian.Welldone E this post has really encouraged me that I am not old school.

    • Reply
      eziaharx@yahoo.com
      August 29, 2017 at 6:09 pm

      Lol at old school. I would rather be called an old school mom than have a child that brings me disgrace in the future
      Well done Love

  • Reply
    Ann Ugonne
    September 2, 2017 at 5:59 am

    As the preschool teacher I am…I feel like translating this to Chinese and giving it to every new kids mum in my class. I understand the first few days are hard for both mum n the 3 year old but the sooner you stop responding to every tiny tear and staying behind to feed him breakfast, the quicker the transition process. It’s worse here because they only get to have one child and the whole family will literally bring him/her to school (I’m talking both grandma and grandpa sometimes). I thought maybe I’m feeling like this because I don’t have a child yet but see now. I know how IMPORTANT structures and discipline are for us in a classroom of 15-20 3 year olds. Thank God for grace for the hard work and the wisdom available to us in each season. I’m learning everyday!!! Thanks for sharing Eziaha. This is so impactful.

    • Reply
      eziaharx@yahoo.com
      September 2, 2017 at 12:41 pm

      Your comment is so insightful hun
      I love the oerspective you bring in
      If we do our jobs well at home teachers dont have to do so much
      God bless them
      And choi at one kid. Do they make them go on by force contraceptives or what???
      Or the men get a snip
      Thats crazy mehn haha

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