Hubby just left this afternoon and as he was about to board and I texted him, he replied saying I should not bring him back this week oooo.
Meaning I shouldn’t born this week.
I told him not to worry. If i born, I will tell him next week.
Between KingDaveed, my mom, my help and my neighbour, I won’t need him. Haha
Ok so on to the gist of my help.
So i was finally ready for a help in February 2016 and I got one in March after interviewing a couple. It was really my sis who did the interview cos I was green. She started off ok and even got better, but me, even though some of my older mummy friends had advised against not bring firm, I was lax with her. Didn’t have so much rules cos I thought she was sensible. Even increased her pay by the 3rd month then come and see drama and rudeness. I would tell she go reply.
Ok. The end. Got the agent to come get her. She begged but I was done.
I decided against another the rest of the year cos I knew God wanted me to do creche. It worked perfectly for me and my season. Plus it was right on my street, the woman truly had a heart for the job, and it was CHEAP. Plus it was an in-house creche which I really wanted so it was PERFECT.
No extra mouth to feed or stress me and pay and the creche costs about 1/6th of my previous help’s pay.
Would drop him off between 7 and 8, then pick him at 6pm, without any stupid mommy guilt. I may have looked like a stay at home mom but I was working and had a super full life. Infact the hours sped by. Recall the post where my neighbour was judging my decision to do creche while I stayed home and did nothing? Lol.
Anyways, that arrangement was perfect and my previous anti-social son started to be more friendly from being with his mates.
2017 rolled around and it was time for my son to start school. The Holy Spirit then told me to start looking for a live-in help again. Plus i had just discovered I was pregnant and first trimester was EXHAUSTING so I knew I needed help.
Morning runs for school and then the runs after he returns were draining me. The Daycare woman said he could do half day after school but I didn’t want that biko. So another search began. This time I had some experience so I did the interviews myself. Settled for a Chibok girl and at the time, I was in my sister’s house that week as i had both PowWow for stay at home moms and Beautified conference with Funto so i needed help from my nieces.
This help had to stay with us there (wasn’t sleeping over though) but after 3days, precisely the day I was speaking at a conference, madam disappeared. Turned out that she had lived as a help to an expatriate before whose family wasnt even in Naija and was an EXECUTIVE help lol. So she couldn’t cope with my own work. Cos in those 3days, I stretched her hard lol.
So the search continued…
Got another who I liked but her uncle wanted her to work only in Lekki and environs.
Got more I didn’t like.
Then got one i reaaaally liked. Nneka. But she was more Hausa than Igbo. Nneka was PERFECT. Stayed for a month. Was so respectful and was learning fast. She also liked shakara haha. But i didn’t mind.
Then one morning, after I got in from the gym, she came, knelt down and was pleading that her mother is sick, blabla. So she had to leave. Infact she had finished all her work before she came to me. My heart sank. I had settled in my head for long term with her.
She said she would go for 2weeks but I told her to not bother returning cos there is an uncertainty to the whole thing
I still recall that day she left. It was my mom’s birthday. I couldn’t even give her any money cos I didn’t have cash on me. As she left, I sat down and bawled my eyes off. It pained me oooo. Kai.
KingDaveed was gonna close school in a couple of weeks so I decided against another immediately since we were travelling for his holiday.
When we returned, the search began again.
After a while, I decided against the Agent i had been using. Didn’t look like his people were working for me.
Aijay introduced me to another her neighbour used, who had good reports. I rang her and the search began.
Oh and just to add, all the above Chicks have been between 21 and 23, even though Nneka always seemed younger than her age.
Ok so in addition to this new Agent, I had a second and both were helping me get a new one. This time, I told them I wanted between 17 and 20 and not more. The first Agent got me this chick and she looked good, spoke well, and hubby was ok with her (after a video call) but I still told her to go back and think on it for 3days before I take her. 3days later, she was still game and she resumed.
Oh Ugochi was SMART. She learned soooo super fast and I could literally sleep or work ALL day and she will handle KingDaveed from school preps to bed time (but i NEVER did, I am a VERY INVOLVED MOM). She could use her initiative while shopping and would make super smart decisions. Never wasted my money in the market and would give accurate records. She used the ATM for me too. I was so comfy with her BUT Ugochi had a few issues…
- She didn’t know how to be grateful. Didn’t matter what you did for her, Ugochi wont say thank you. Told her one day and she said she actually is grateful in her mind BUT she doesn’t know how to express it. I told her it was the spirit of pride and she had to cast it out in JESUS name.
- Ugochi had rude tendencies and would manifest anytime she was corrected. She basically hated to be corrected, and whenever I did, it would look like an evil spirit had taken over her.
Otherwise, she was good.
But how is it possible for her never to be corrected? Long story short, one day she talked back at me and with the back of my hand, I slapped her. Like really fast. The same way i would slap my younger sister if i had one and she dared. I don’t do RUDE at all, and I tell every help I interview that she is free to leave at any time, no need to lie but in this home, only one madam, and that is ME!!! I would later apologize and called the agent to tell her everything cos I was about to send her packing. She sha managed an apology and all went back to well. But my antennas were up. My home is one of prayers and I am always praying for God to shake whatever needs to be shaken no matter how comfy I am. I enter my help’s room often to pray over and anoint. No contrary spirit can live here. Fast-forward to about a month later, she did something else, and we were in my sis house at the time, I corrected her and the evil twin came in. see all day attitude and worst part, she started taking it out on my son. Haha!!! The ABSOLUTE END!!!
I cut short my trip and we left for home. She had no idea my plans, and I didnt even tell my sis who had noticed her foul behavior anyways. We got in and I told her not to enter but stay in the living room. Rang the Agent who was so mad, and that was the end. I really like that Agent cos she CRAZY!!! She said she wasn’t going back to the Agent cos ‘I don’t want anybody to be talking to me anyhow…’ lol so she was going back to the east. I dont think she really had anywhere good to go to as she lived with the agent for two weeks before she landed my house.
Time was past 7pm so I offered to let her stay at mine till the next morning since I knew she had no place to go, so the next day she can travel. No iota of gratitude still, but I wasn’t even expecting. I told her I had to call her father so he is aware. She no gree drop the man number, but when she came at first, I got EVERY possible number from her so I called the man. In the meantime, I told her to go wherever and return at 830pm. Her time with me was up and I didn’t need her around me or my son again. Just come in, sleep and be on your way the next day…
Now because this is getting too long, I will have to continue tomorrow. You don’t wanna miss it because the threat text messages part and the Police involvement is the real exciting part
Oh and of course, my latest help. Will also share on how I put a structure in place for my helps for more efficiency. Learnt this from DDK.
Helps? Mehn, it is God ooo
But I am not one of those who say ALL HELPS are bad. I believe there is a good one and good thing Hubby and I are pretty on the same page and trust God will bring us a more stable one (or maybe He already has with this one I have now…). Just realized she was to go mini-shopping today
See yawl tomorrow
Off to the gym!!! And the irony is I am going to be licking a lollipop while gyming today. Haha. My neighbor was telling me today that one day after I had left, they were arguing in the gym if I was pregnant or just had big tummy till she stepped in and educated them. I so laughed. Big tummy ko!!! Oh btw yawl in business, PAY YOUR TAXES!!! Lol. And on time too. Was in FIRS today to get sorted and I am in tears lol, but we must be people of integrity in business so…. Good thing is hubby is a Lawyer so nobody can bobo me…