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What my Neighbor doesn’t know…

So recently, a neighbour, whose name I don’t know and whose house I have never visited to gist but with whom I am cordial and ‘neighborly’, said something to me that was WRONG on every level…
I was returning from picking my son up and I greeted her as I passed and she said

‘…bobo, this your mother that is NOT DOING ANYTHING, yet she will go and drop you at the mercy of other women and sit at home doing nothing…’ 

I will end this with my initial reaction, my hubby’s reaction, my proposed later reaction and my final reaction but first, let me tell you what my neighbour doesn’t know…

Aside the fact that she sees me work out

My neighbour doesn’t know that God Himself endorsed my going to enrol my then 15month baby in Daycare and because He did, my Baby is not at the mercy of any human but under the safe shadows of the Almighty…

My Heart’s delight

She doesn’t know that from birth till 15months, (save a couple of weeks I have a help) it has been ME ME ME playing Mommy fully and that it was time to incorporate, birth and nurture the other dreams and seeds God had put within me.
My neighbour doesn’t know that from the SECOND I drop him off, I immerse myself in work until 5pm when I go to the gym and then go pick him up. I do not ‘sit at home doing nothing…’. Matter of fact, being my own Boss makes me double accountable, and so therefore, I am BRUTAL with my time and time management. 

Should I explain to my neighbor that even though my radio interview was moved by 2days only, I couldn’t spend 2days extra at my Sister’s away from ‘my office’ so I had to go back home and plan a return to VI for the interview? 

Err, she might not get it. 

She doesn’t even know that I sleep at 9pm and wake at 2am (or 10 and wake at 3am) and then spend the first one or 2hours , sometimes 3hours just downloading from heaven for my life, my hubs, my kids and my ministries…

Oh dear Neighbor, how will I explain to you that I am in a birthing season of my life and like a woman in labor, I don’t have time to slack or take my eyes off the goals…

Can she even wildly guess that I have the fire in me to deliver FOUR books this year and it takes a LOT to immerse into that writing head-space and just stay there for hours and hours and hours crystallizing your thought into Words that have LIFE!!! And that for early next year, HE is already telling me of the Writing projects I must take up (and I am like GOD CHILL!!!)
Oh does she even know that there have been 3straight days and nights I have not slept because an ‘inspired moment’ needs to be taken advantage of within its lifespan…

Oh and I didn’t pause being a mommy or wifey in those days but I have zombi’d myself around and prayed for second winds (and third and fourth and fifth) because I don’t want to be addicted to coffee…

Oh she knows that my husband is not around and she probably further judges me and pities him because his wife just sits at home and does nothing while he slaves away for the family. 

But what she doesn’t know is that even though I stay within the four walls of my home, I don’t sleep and watch TV all day. She would never guess that I have the privilege of being a Food&Fitness Coach and that in July, I had to coach 60 ladies through losing weight.

Can she even imagine how much of my SOUL I pour into Coaching? 

Feedback from my students

Does she know that I allot some time daily to get even more knowledge on this path because even though it kinda jumped on my laps, I also need to be excellent and go for wisdom/knowledge too? 
Does she know that I go on YouTube just to watch Jillian’s interviews and jot down points from what she has said and do my own research too? 

Does she know? 

Does she know that I have a Journal called ‘CoachE’ Diaries’ where I make a BIG DEAL of Coaching by constantly researching, because I encourage my Students to ask me questions and I want to be ready for answers…

My neighbour doesn’t know that only recently, a friend gifted me an Online Course from Shaw Academy on Nutrition and Fitness and that I am currently in School because 

Eziaha is a CERTIFIED Food&Fitness Coach’ 

don’t sound bad at all…

Does she know that publicising my business takes me sometimes as much as 2 or 3hours daily and I get exhausted too?

Does she know of all the TV, Radio, Print and Blog interviews and features I have the privilege of being asked to do? 

On set Wazobia max

Does she know I have turned down a few, quite painfully, because I didn’t have the time to do them?

Does she know that I have this Green Book, I fondly call my MONEY JOURNAL where I have crazy unbelievable Scriptures that I confess over my Businesses and Blog and Life in general? That I LABOR in the Word and Confessions too and I have to be intentional about it, releasing Heaven’s PA system, and calling forth the media into my businesses and ministries, and declaring that I stand before kings and their loins are loosened for me, because ‘Victories do not come by accident…’

On set Ebony Life

Can she imagine that in the middle of my day, I go put my TV on, not to watch AfMagic or E! but to watch Joyce or Lisa or Bimbo Odukoya or Chris Caine or Shirer or Heather from my flash which is permanently attached to my TV…

Or maybe she thinks that whenever she hears the TV, I am watching Telemundo or Zee World!!! 

Oh goodness, can she even guess that for almost 2months, my subscription expired and I didn’t notice at first and when I did, I couldn’t be bothered because it was wasting anyways. I only bothered to renew because I was going to watch myself on TV… (and the Voice Nigeria finals). 
I won’t even bother telling her that even the last subscription, it was when Hubs came back that he did it. 

TV and I have not quite reconciled after my DETOX but hey, who’s telling her?

Does she know that I invest some good time reading and that when I read, I ENTER the Book so I can read one Book for One year because I need to FULLY GET it and practice it.

Does she know that when it comes to TIME MANAGEMENT, I am BRUTAL!!! That a lot of times, I deliberately keep my phone on Silent mode and turn it face-down because I can’t take calls or chat at that moment. 

And that even though I spend some time on Social Media because it is both Work and Ministry, I keep the Social part to a healthy minimum. 

Infact, she would never guess that I have hours when my data is turned off so that I am not even tempted to check what someone has posted on IG… And hey, data ain’t my problem because Spectranet keeps rolling it over and I currently have over 50gig Daytime data and unlimited night browsing, but I still don’t waste time online…

Delayed gratification? 

Has she heard about it before? Does she know that if she leans into my life a bit, she would know what it is to have the ability and means to gratify yourself but be disciplined enough to say ‘NO THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT’

Does she have an idea how even though my baby is not home, and my hubs is away, I don’t stop being a wife and a mom and a homemaker? Does she know that I see my home as my FIRST ministry and so I am constantly praying and reading and applying wisdom in building this home? 

And that even though my hubs is out there working, I have to be sure that I am being a prudent manager of the finances of the home in a way that puts him under absolutely ZERO PRESSURE and that means I have to be best friends with the Holy Spirit and take constant lessons on financial prudence. 

Oh she doesn’t know that I deliberately look for videos that talk about being a good mom, raising kids in a godly way, being a healthy support for your husband, managing the finances of your home, and so on ALL FROM A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE???

Does she have any idea just how much energy I pour into that? Does she know that striking this balance as a Woman is a continuous thing and that I harass my Pastors and Mentors a whole lot just to gain wisdom from their many years on me? 

Oh dear Neighbour, do you know that I have this absolutely AMAZING blog whose impact and reach just floors me? That one blog post takes me nothing under 3 hours to write and sometimes as much as 5hours, because I have to write mini-books? Lol. 

And that i invest prayers into every post?

And that on the platform of this Blog, God has enriched my life with the most amazing relationships which have to be nourished and defined with wisdom? 

Arit and I

Oh and that I have incredible mentees who really are at seasons in their lives where they need my practical counsel on a whole lot of things and so I stay pouring into them? 

Bimbo and i

Not just with Words but in prayers too. 

Me and some of my mentees at BECOMING 2.0

And of course, how would she guess that I have BEST FRIENDSHIPS that I also have to nurture and nourish which entails better time management because GIRL FRIENDS ARE THE BEST!!!
Oh she has no idea how I LOVE visiting people and hanging out but I wish I could tell her how many Social or even Spiritual gatherings I’ve turned down because they came either impromptu or during my office hours…

Oh my life. My CRAZY life that God takes and makes this BEAUTIFUL…

There is a LOT that my neighbour doesn’t know and from her very limited point of view, she had washed, hung and dried me out with JUDGEMENT!!!
And this would be her second time of poke-nosing in my biz. First time was when my baby turned one and she told me that now he’s one, I need to start looking for a job ooo. 

So this second time around, after I had some time to think about it, I knew this was crossing the line. 

My initial reaction though was to smile and keep moving. In my mind, I just thought ‘…if only she knew…’. 

I didn’t feel a need to say anything to her. But when I told my hubs, he said that such behaviour should be corrected because she may not even know that what she is doing is absolutely wrong and she may say that to someone who won’t react even remotely like me, so this needs to be stopped. 

(My hubs is WISE walahi… i am SPRUNG)
My anger was very delayed, I must say, so I started to plot my response. 

Revenge is best served COLD!!!

I knew she would speak again in that wise so I waited patiently with my plan. 

It went something like

‘…Madam, you won’t even believe that after dropping him off at the ‘mercy of other women’, I still get someone to clean and wash for me so I don’t do anything AT ALL at home and if you don’t mind, I would like to ………………………….’

And because the part B of that statement hit way below the belt, I won’t share it here lol… 

I didn’t even share with my hubby what I was going to do cos I knew he wouldn’t approve. And I certainly didn’t check with God either. But trust a divine interruption when I go before Him in prayers. He just totally CHECKED me with Colossians 4: 5 and 6 (an exegesis on this deserves an entire Blog post) and I repented and found a better way to communicate my displeasure, without ruining my witness.

Plus why does Michelle Obama have to keep giving me LIFE GOALS????

Now God keeps flashing that part of her speech to me every time
..No our motto is when they go low, we go HIGH…

The way she even said the ‘high’ made me repent. 

Trust me, I had a really low blow as my comeback…

#LeSigh…

Now let’s drive this a bit home, because it truly did cause me to look inward at those times when I have judged others harshly, even if in my mind, without having all the details. One of Propel Woman’s definition is

She’s UNJUDGING… Of the choices and the priorities that others make in different seasons of their lives…

Trust me, that’s my favourite definition of the Propel Woman because this is something I can easily slip into if I don’t check myself. Now I am not a blabber-mouth and won’t go about giving my opinion where I haven’t been asked, but what of those times when I judge them in my heart, and then react in subtle ways that come from that place of judgement. 

Can I just sincerely tell yawl that I used to secretly judge women who kept their babies especially 3months or even below, in a creche just to go to work??? It never made sense. Now, hmmm, God knows I don’t have any guts to dare judge another mom and and choices. 

God has done a deep work in my heart with that I must say but we should continually do our Open Heart surgeries https://eziaha.com/2016/03/13/my-open-heart-surgery/ from time to time to be sure the devil ain’t planting no tares.

I do believe things should be judged though. 

OF COURSE, things should be judged, and by that I mean evaluated, reviewed, etc BUT I don’t think we should be the Judge of every matter. Think about the Law and those whose make a career judging cases. They don’t judge without all the details of the case available to them. They keep perusing and debating a matter before a final judgement is passed because they do not want to commit errors in judgement.

They QUALIFY to judge. They have the degree, the years of experience, the information as much as is humanly possible, after which they judge!!!

Many of us may know Nelly of the IT WILL END IN PRAISE fame. 

Nelly has been on her weight loss journey for a while and she was one of those from whom I drew inspiration and learned while on my own journey. Now how easy it would be for any of us to sit and judge her weight until one day she shared a story of how her son had this issue at birth and had to be operated upon and so on… 

Now which mama is thinking of actively losing weight when she is on a struggle for the life of her child? 
Certainly not me!!!

So don’t just jump into judging a matter. Ask yourself first, AM I QUALIFIED? 

If you aren’t, just let it go. Save your emotional energy for something else. 

Like maybe teaching yourself and your kids manners and boundaries. 

The simple truth is a lot of things are NOT OUR BUSINESS and we have to be fine without feeling a need to just let it go and not advice or Judge. 

Here is something you can do though, especially if you feel so strongly about a thing…

P R A Y!!! 

Pray to that Perfect Judge. God!!!

Cheers… to minding your own businesses, all day, err’day!!!

Love

I woke up like this…

E’

PS

Maybe one of the BEST interviews I ever granted yet

http://www.kacheetee.com/blog/2016/7/26/weinterview-eziaha-bolaji-olojo

Kachi did an awesome job and i’m thankful to have such a brilliant writer in my corner. 

Show some love in the comments section too let Kachi and I know what you think… And subscribe. Her blog is amazing. 
PPS

Happy New Month guys. 

August looks super fast paced for me so hey Super Woman- Super SUPER God mode activated.

Super.PUMPED!!!

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33 Comments

  • Reply
    requ1ne
    August 1, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    I love this…it’s funny that for a couple of days now, this has been recurring in my conversations too,” I don’t know the whole story…so I can’t judge.”
    But what if I do? I still shouldn’t judge others based on my opinions and convictions anyway.
    Because everyone has their own lane, goals, battles, and the season of life they are in…

    My own life is a FULL-TIME Job already. So it’s more healthy to MIND MY OWN BUSINESS, and trust God to take care of others.

    Thank you for sharing,
    You inspire me, as always.

    More grace!

    • Reply
      E'
      August 1, 2016 at 9:10 pm

      Lol at pained… thank God for wisdom to handle it…

      Thanks darling

  • Reply
    Matilda
    August 1, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    Heheheheheh!
    I can not finish laughing o! Also, I am making a comment because of your creative way of ”drawing it out”.
    Actually, I rarely make comments on blogs. (e-mail submission ishs)

    So, Eziaha! You have always been a huge testimony, godly, intelligent, smart, goalgetter and much more. I remember someone asked for my counsel on an issue and I ended it with also, follow Eziaha.
    (and I remember adding, you don’t have to call or go to her or soo. Follow her posts, Read them from your heart, Open up to the Holy Spirit and you will Catch Wisdom without seeing her in person)

    I guess I do that myself too.

    Weldone Darl!

    You reign!

    🙂

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:44 am

      God bless you darling.
      Thanks for commenting too. And truly LOVE your comment

  • Reply
    blinkyblast
    August 1, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    Human beings can have bad mouth.. Eishhh!!!!
    One word, MIND YOUR BUSINESS.
    BTW, I’ve been looking for that picture oo… Thanks for pouring yourself into us. Your investments are sure paying off well

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:45 am

      Happy to find d pix for ya

  • Reply
    Goodness
    August 1, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    saw dat line from war room: indeed victories doesn’t come by accident. I’ve been meditating on the proverbs 31 woman and sometimes I get scared but I’m holding up to God anyway cos if she could do it den we can some of d tins He tells me I’m just scared and then on Sat He just took me to Isaiah 7:9b ‘…..if I don’t believe, I will not be established’ pls just keep up d good job cos even if u explain some persons would still refuse to understand. more grace

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:46 am

      Thanks hun. Plus i always tell myself that the P31 woman is there to INSPIRE not intimidate

  • Reply
    Goodness
    August 1, 2016 at 4:19 pm

    saw that line from war room: indeed victories doesn’t come by accident. been meditating on the proverbs 31woman, if she could do it den we can. more grace

  • Reply
    Chibuzor Bajeh
    August 1, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    I really wonder why humans don’t mind their busines.I really understand where you are coming from I have had people want to force themself into how I raise my son,but I have learned to ignore people alot because you really don’t own anyone any explaination.Once God endorsed it and your hubby approved it that is all that matters.welldone girl just keep doing what God has called you to do.

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:46 am

      You are spot on girl!!!

  • Reply
    Motunrayo olushi
    August 1, 2016 at 4:57 pm

    Nice write up.you are indeed a superwoman looking at your daily schedule.iam inspired.pls leave your neighbor ooo.talk is cheap.remain lifted.
    P.s pls how can I find the post did about Jesus being your own sugar daddy.

    • Reply
      Dee.
      August 1, 2016 at 7:52 pm

      Momma has punctuated quite a number of posts with that word, I doubt there is a single post she mentioned it. Type the word ‘sugar daddy’ under the search menu.

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:47 am

      Dee answred well
      Thanks dee.

      Lol at superwoman. Yes ooo cos of my super sugar daddy haha

  • Reply
    Aijay
    August 1, 2016 at 5:49 pm

    Mehn! No time to dull o. You know…I saw something profound whilst reading Proverbs 31 woman. One of the verses (can’t remember which one now) said – she ensures all her dealings are profitable. Mehn. That hit me way in. So from now, if that thought… Action…Word…talk…work…chat…whatever, if it won’t profit me and God’s Kingdom. Sorry but am not a part of it. If it doesn’t add to me, it doesn’t add up to anything… It’s not being selfish because when you do something you gain nothing from, out of love, it still profits you because you are obeying God’s instruction. But those things God did not send me to do…it won’t add to me. Am out. Sorry. No time to waste. I will spend my time fulfilling purpose and building other women. No time to waste. Especially when God has mapped out my life assignment and there’s no kidding abourrit

    • Reply
      E'
      August 1, 2016 at 9:11 pm

      P31 woman steady giving us GOALS!!!

  • Reply
    Nneoma
    August 1, 2016 at 6:31 pm

    Now i was so pained when i saw that comment from your neoghbour but somehow I was so sure you will be so able to handle the situation. Sumtyms i sense jealousy when people are so judgemental. Thank God for your hubby and You are a strong godly woman/ role model.

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:47 am

      Lol at pained…

      Hugsssss

  • Reply
    Ada Alisigwe
    August 2, 2016 at 1:01 am

    Wisdom drawn ,weldone Eziaha may God continue to fill u with wisdom et knowledge

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:48 am

      Amen amem. Thanks hun

  • Reply
    Valerie
    August 2, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    Erhm, I still will tell her to pls keep her judgements to herself.cos she will continue.there r ppl like that who derive pleasure in poking their nose into other ppl’s apple pie,while theirs is burning in the oven.imagine me using the staff toilet once, only for a matron to say doctor did u drink pap?? I jus ignored her completely.no I dint only drink pap infact I swam in it.

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:48 am

      Hahahahahahahahahaha vee oooooo. I trust you

  • Reply
    Zevida
    August 2, 2016 at 11:12 pm

    Wow!!!! ? first time reading your blog and omg it’s amazing, heaven knows it’s going to become one of my favorite places on social media. God bless u.

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:48 am

      Whoop. Welcome darling

  • Reply
    spiritoria
    August 3, 2016 at 6:26 pm

    I’m waiting for when WordPress will upgrade their buttons to ‘love’, ‘wow’, ‘speechless’
    I’m totally awed by you ma.

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:48 am

      Hahaha. I feel you. Thanks hun

  • Reply
    ChinyereDistinguished
    August 3, 2016 at 10:22 pm

    Your life, your posts, your goals are all inspiring. I don’t regret subscribing or reading your posts. They’re always worth my time cause I always leave better than I came.

    May God, our just God answer your neighbour on your behalf.
    Much love ma’am

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:49 am

      Amem amen. Thanks hun

  • Reply
    Tamie
    August 4, 2016 at 8:54 am

    Thank God for Jesus oh…I was already replying your neighbour in my mind and it wasn’t sounding pretty.
    lol

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:49 am

      Hahahahaha i KNOW right

  • Reply
    mzquinn92
    August 6, 2016 at 10:33 pm

    all I have to say is thank you. God has just used you to correct my wrongs cos I do judge in my heart most times without knowing the full details

    • Reply
      E'
      August 7, 2016 at 4:49 am

      Awww bless God

  • Reply
    E'
    August 7, 2016 at 4:44 am

    Happy to find the pix for ya

  • Leave a Reply to ChinyereDistinguished Cancel Reply