You know, I had just published the ‘are we even fighting at all’ post when in the middle of getting all the comments and likes notification, I felt a strong urge to go and pray.
I dropped my phone and went to pray. I thought my dear Jesus wanted me to ‘fight’ but He’s like
‘nah babe, I wanna do THAT open heart surgery you have been running away from’
Like seriously, I had been running.
I still discussed with someone a couple of hours earlier where I told her I felt like God was about to do a major surgery on me so i’ll just not even let Him ‘go there‘
But that afternoon, there was no where to hide again. I succumbed.
Lol. This is funny, I tell ya
I am currently on a study of Acts and I was going in on
‘you shall receive power after the Holy Spirit comes upon you and then you can be witnesses of Me…’
I could do with all the power in the world biko if I’m going to be a Warrior in Heels.
But God is like,
‘…when my Holy Spirit comes upon you, He’s checking EVERYWHERE!!! He’s like going all the way IN. He’s going to make sure He enters the innermost parts of my heart which I think I have hid from Him. He’s going to do an *wait for this* OPEN HEART SURGERY in you Eziaha!!!”
I heard in my spirit so I opened.
CREATE in me a CLEAN heart. And renew the RIGHT spirit within me.
But let’s back up a little. Historians say David wrote this Psalm when he was repenting from the sin of Bathsheba. They also say quite some time had passed which means he only TRULY repented after a while…
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity. And cleanse me from my sin.
3. For I acknowledge my transgressions. And my sin is always before me.
6. You desire TRUTH in my inward parts…
7. Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean. Wash me and I will be whiter than snow.
Then the verse 10
Create in me Eziaha, a clean heart…
Create!!! C R E A T E!!!
OK Lord let’s do this… Let’s see what ‘sins‘ I have to acknowledge so you wash me…
I’m like ‘Hol’ up!!! Who? Me????‘
And i’m not even kidding guys, I found I had teeny weeny seeds of such in me. God actually named a few persons and i’m like JEEZ!!!
Maybe not a major issue because I could just shrug it away without really dealing with it but God is like,
I’ll tell you what to do babe. You FIGHT that lil seed. You attack it full on!!! Instead of shrugging it off, you attack with *wait for this again* LOVE!!! You attack with the WORD!!!
And God actually gave me practical ways to deal with the funk He had dug up.
For example, for some persons, I’ve actually been on my face PRAYING for them. Or her. Haha. Let’s see how you can be a teeny weeny bit jealous when you are praying for someone. Azzin serious prayers ooo. Lol. God sha!!!
He’s going to do the cleansing and making me whiter than snow as I acknowledge my sin and FIGHT back!!!
Now that’s a different kinda fight to the one I blogged about but the enemy is the SAME and of course WE WIN!!!
You know what guys, I am soooo thankful for that open heart surgery (and any more that needs to be done). I’m not suddenly lil ms. Perfect but God is working.
I don’t have time for drama.
We Believers should NOT have time for these little little sins. We got a dying world to reach and we will NOT reach them half as effectively if we don’t YIELD!!!
If I’m trusting God for POWER, then I’m going to have to give free rein to the Holy Spirit in me. And yield!!!
In one week, I’ve lived lighter. I’ve learned to fight even mustard seed ‘sins’. I’ve learnt to do deep soul searching.
My close friends might not know. My husband might not even know. But God knows. And He knows what big tree such a seed can grow into so He wants to make sure we attack full on from the seed stage.
I shared this as openly as possible because
1. I really don’t mind. I’m a mess. You are a mess. But God is working out all our messes. So no DUST particle gets to sit in judgement seat. Haha
2. I hope and pray it pushes you to go get your own open heart surgery too.
What’s that ‘weight and sin’ that’s easily besetting that no one else knows about BUT Jesus!!! Beef? Hatred? Little little Lies? Spiritual pride? He desires TRUTH in our inward parts, guys. TRUTH!!!
Allow Him, the Master Surgeon to perform an open heart surgery and then create a right heart within you.
Soooo worth it guys. Sooooo worth it.
Cheers to the painful but much needed surgical procedures in our lives!!!
Let me hug you through your surgeries. Haha
I want to apologise that my photo shoot pictures and my 1year mommy journey are not up yet but you probably don’t wanna hear my apology. Lol.
But really though, some things are more important than others.
Like surgery 🙂
Looks like this friend of mine just got a dose of her own surgery. Total Body surgery. We had just ended a convo where I had encouraged her through XXX. I didn’t even mention this post to her though I had it in my spirit to do, and then God enters and seals it.
When she sent me this, my first reaction was laughter. Like ‘of course, that’s what YOU GOD would say’
But really, a surgery always leaves you way better so BRING IT ON!!! Haha
Who else is attending THE BIGGEST CHICK PARTY OF THE YEAR???
Even Joyce will be happy to have us.