After all, you have 10,000 teachers/guides/tutors/instructors/Chrises/Joyces to direct/lead you…1Cor 4:15
Guys, I WISH I was doing a vlog instead on this topic!!! I want you to SEE my heart and how it beats about this. But since I ain’t doing no vlog, I just pray that my writings are alive indeed… AMEN!!!
(But I’m gonna start vlogging soon. As soon as I get my nails done. Hahahahaha)
Can I just start by saying that in this day, age and time, you are absolutely INEXCUSABLE if you are ignorant?
Gosh, information is absolutely EVERYWHERE all thanks to technology. One of my biggest 2016 lessons has to be ‘When the student is ready, the teacher will appear’.
But what we have these days are a bunch of lazy people who want you to spell EVERYTHING out to them personally and won’t do no work.
You know, I listen to PK a lot and have for at least 5years.
There was a time he used to go on about how people come to him for counselling on BBM or so and he tells them ‘oh I have this EXACT message/book where I dealt with it indepth. Please get it’. And then the comedian will say ‘ehn Pastor just type it out for me now’
I mean, REALLY???
Even if PK was jobless.
I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me.
You send me a message telling me this and that and I tell you ‘oh I blogged about THIS exact thing last week’ or ‘lemme recommend this video on YouTube. Please download and watch’ then the person tells me to please just type it out for her.
Or tries to make me think her own is unique.
No hun, it is NOT!!!
I mean, aside this being unfair and impractical, it is just you being lazy.
Only this year, I’ve had at least THREE encounters where I have suggested ways and the person makes it look like ‘what am I doing now that I can’t answer again’ and I am just W O W E D!!!
Then the next thing is ‘what am I even feeling like blablabla’
One person actually basically called me proud!!!
Phew… thank God I am F R E E of people pleasing. I have a darn good relationship with God and a resident holy ‘pokenoser’ in the person of the HolySpirit.
Do you KNOW how many questions I wanna ask Joyce? Or Chris? Or Heather?
But I KNOW that these people have a TON of resources ONLINE and if I put in the effort, I will find it. So I won’t waste my time disturbing their peace with long emails.
Except of course to tell them how absolutely amazing they are.
Like I say, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.
Look, literally we have TEN THOUSAND teachers, resources, etc to guide us through life.
There was just this time I needed incredible wisdom on some certain issues in my marriage. And wham, God led me to Heather. She had some videos from the marriage retreat last year and God used those videos to answer EVERY question I had.
Another time, I had some questions of balancing life and everything. Priscilla literally read my mind and answered it in a video.
God didn’t open my browser and chuk the video there. I went searching and God led me to my answers.
Infact there was this night I worried so much about something till I got a headache. I slept and the next morning, God told me to go watch a certain video. The title had NOTHING to do with my issue but I obeyed.
It was JUST one line the speaker said and my answer came with PEACE!!!
Sooooo many times I am stuck about something and as I listen to PK or Rev, I get clarity. I don’t have to blow up their phones to get my answers. I can go HARD on their resources and get my answers.
Sometimes if I can’t find something, I actually ask one of my many teachers ‘Please can u RECOMMEND any resource/book/study on XXX‘
I think for me that marks a healthy mentee. Most mentors LOVE that. It shows you are hungry and teachable. Not lazy and lazy.
Recently I did that to one of my mentors. I just needed to go HARD on a particular topic so I asked for references.
There is absolutely NOTHING you should be permanently lacking knowledge in today.
You have wayyyy too many teachers at your disposal.
Instead you prefer to use your data to watch nonsense on YouTube and waste away on Twitter. Don’t get me wrong, have your lil’ social moments. But when you find yourself lacking on any topic, find your teachers, lean all the way into them, and GO HARD!!!
Stay hungry guys. Don’t always want a QUICK FIX!!! Put in some effort and you will see your teachers.
Sometimes, you may even find your ‘Elizabeth’. The person who makes the baby in your womb leap.
And when you find them, stay even hungrier. STALK them!!!
Some of my teachers and ‘Elizabeths’ are Heather, Joyce, Chris and Shirer.
Best thing about Americans (and well Greeks lol) is that they are quite OPEN in sharing their lives, both the good and the ugly. We Africans have a more ‘hiding’ culture. So info on them are plenty.
Look, I am sure I can author a tidy biography of these ones.
If you check my phones, my laptop, my journal, my browser history, you will drown in teachings from these women.
Guys, I go hard, I lean all the way in and dig deep!!!
When I listen, I listen for the ‘story behind the story’.
Same way if I need wisdom on a certain area eg in raising my boy, I get on YouTube and find Christian resources. Or just Google.
I go hard, get scriptures and go get a Doctorate on it.
Recently, I had challenges with just running my home. One morning, I switched off every distraction and sat with Proverbs 31 and Titus 2. Then God led me to some resources and blogs online. Wham!!! Questions answered. Wisdom downloaded.
I pray to do the post God gave me from that encounter.. ‘ Home maker with a sense of purpose’ (may rename tho)
I didn’t leave my job in the UN in Abuja even when doors were opening for me, and relocate to Lagos to be slothful in ‘business’. MBA, I am crazy with getting wisdom and knowledge.
Lemme just share this I picked up from Diche, Pastor M’s sis.
She’s an amazing script writer and so she said after seeing War room, she went to see it again, this time as a professional/scriptwriter. A CHRISTIAN one. She wanted to LEARN more about the craft from a Christian perspective so she was going hard on the Kendrick brothers.
I recall she asked me quite some questions too and from time to time when I run into some professional info she could use on them, I share with her.
(for instance, any near romantic scene you see in any Kendrick brothers’ movie, they use a body double, the spouse. Eg that kissing scene in Fire Proof. He kissed his real wife. That moment between Liz and Tony when he was apologising in War room, it was his wife’s leg he was romancing not Shirer’s. Etc. Lol I went HARD on War room. )
Frankly I am a certified stalker. Some of my ‘teachers’ are Christian bloggers. The way I folow Inthe’s blog ehn. I’m sure I can be arrested. Ditto Pastor M. And Dr. N. I learn. I apply. I connect the dots. I see the ‘whys, how’s, etcs’
I’m the crazy person that would remind you of something you blogged about 3years ago. Haha
One of my mentees is crazy like me. Dee.
When she reminds me of something I blogged about, I’m like ‘hi stalker‘ Haha. But I absolutely LOVE her for that. She makes me soooo happy to mentor her. She won’t just say ‘mama I love your post’ or ‘that was for me’. She will give me details of what she loves and how she applies it in her life.
Gosh, she makes my heart so happy.
I’m soooo proud of her. Even when I delay in answering her, you bet she will keep on reminding me.
Any mentor would LOVE you for that. And even seek more ways to bless you. Because you can see a HUNGER!!!
OK back to my teachers.
These are women in ministry and so I’m not just hearing the word, I’m learning how they treat their husbands, run their homes, recruit staff, spend their quiet time, relate with their mentors, how they spend vacation, raise their kids, relate with their girlfriends, early days in minstry, turning point in ministry, why they live where they live, etc. I also do a lot of ‘connect the dots’ from various messages. So you and I can listen to the same message but we sure didn’t get the same thing.
I dig real deep and go hard!!!
Infact I literally start studying for a Doctorate. I stalk articles written about them by people who met them either formally or informally.
Recently, I have been on Joyce and Chris. Oh I just finished with Heather and I’m applying all the knowledge I got from her openness about her marriage and home. So my study on her has paused for now.
Just on Monday, I was cyber stalking Joyce and Chris….
Oh before I go on. How these two met amazes me.
About 20years ago, Joyce was attending a conference by the church where Chris was a youth leader. Babe made herself the person chosen to drive Joyce from the hotel to the venue and kept believing for it even though they had told her she won’t drive her. She saved up for weeks and kept detailing her car daily for two weeks in the hope and expectation she will drive Meyer. As God would have it, the night before, she got a call that she would drive her.
Pick up time? 8am.
Chris arrived at 530am because she didn’t wanna be late. She said she borrowed a suit because she didn’t have money for one.
Then went to stand 3doors away. Joyce sees her when she came out to get her brekkie and again when she rolled the trolley out. Of course Chris kept flinging her face.
Then Joyce walked up to her and asked if she was there for her. Long story short, mama invited her into her room, they got talking and that my people birthed this absolutely beautiful and refreshing ‘Mother-daughter’ relationship I covet with all my soul.
Chris actually says she had been a Mentee of Joyce LONG before she met her.
She followed her teachings and books sooo closely and so you can imagine the kinda conversation that would have happened that fateful morning in that Hotel room that made Joyce literally adopt her and start supporting her ministry.
You know, some of you are real comedians. You ask the funniest shallow questions and conversations with your teachers.
How was your night?
Have a great week!!!
What did you eat?
I’m puling out my dreadlocks!!!
Can anyone imagine what would have been coming out of Chris’s mouth that day in the Hotel room?
Plus both have similar pasts of sexual abuse
Some of you sef have mentors and teachers you NEVER visit or lean into personally even when they have given you the gift of access especially on Social media. You abuse it by asking stupid questions or even worse, FOR MONEY. But you are happy to say ‘I have XXX on my BBM’ or ‘XXX follows me on Twitter or IG’ or I have YYY’s number.
Have you actually ‘used‘ that teacher well?
Do you ‘study‘ his/her updates and posts?
Do you ‘see’ a pattern in how that person lives?
Do you ask vital questions that gets the person’s heart happy to answer you?
Do you MAKE the effort to book a LIVE session and actually SEE that person???
You see Rev!!! I follow Rev like a tradition. If I have to push myself some, I do, and attend a meeting he is preaching at in my location. Just to be physically enriched listening to him.
And the best part about a hungry student is the fact that the teacher is going to start looking out for you too.
Rev had told me three weeks earlier that he would be in DCC that last Sunday. I cleared out everything. I had to see him. Not for anything but just to SEE him. E don Tey.
Now you see the funny thing, I had questions on some areas in life and my Rev covered it in his message.
Plus I got him to pray a blessing over my family too.
Don’t confuse having someone on your social media with actual relationship ooo. There are some things we would NEVER hear/say on Social Media ooo.
Of course we can’t discount SM relationships(that’s all I have FOR NOW with those four ladies I mentioned) but what if one day God gives me a chance to meet them, you bet they will adopt me.
As either sister or daughter.
Cos they will be like ‘this girl is ready for some real one-on-ones. She is really HUNGRY!!!’
Side story: I recall the day Pastor M introduced me to PC, the choir director in DCC Island.
As we spoke, I kept downloading info on his career and album to me and he was like ‘ ah, you really dug deep ooo‘. I just smiled. I told yawl I was a stalker. Haha.
If I get on your case, forgerrit.
Ditto when I used to stalk Funmi Iyanda. I ended up anchoring her show, New Dawn.
Because after studying and stalking, I sent her the kind of email she would LOVE to read and wham, I get invited on set.
Awesome. Stalker. Chick.
Side story over.
Was talking to one of my mentees late last year. She is number one on BBM to wish me happy new month, good morning, blessed day, how are you, etc. Then an opportunity came for her to actually VISIT with me and sister girl stood me up soooo many times. I told her that look, sending me have a nice day and God bless you and how are you is not where this whole thing starts and stops.
You can NOT claim a relationship with me if you can’t gooooo hard to meet me. Forget shyness or feeling inadequate (she would later confess that to me). Mehn, don’t let the devil make you miss out on stuff with lies ooo.
I recall when I was into Stars and Celebs. I absolutely adored 2Face and then somehow a friend invited me to a Christmas party he was performing at. Trust me, the security was plenty around him but if I tell u the stunts I pulled to reach him and take a picture ehn. I tell you, even Tu was surprised. He kept on WOW’ing.
But you see, I wanted a picture. I got a picture.
Ditto when I was at an event with Stella Damasus. I walked right up to the front, in the middle of the ongoing event ooo, and requested her to snap with me. I didn’t care who was looking or not looking. (Can’t find that picture)
I wanted it. I went for it.
Today I don’t care for entertainment stars. Lol. I actually cringe at how I used to follow all these musicians then. Hahahaha.
I care for my Elizabeths today tho. I am HUNGRY!!! I go HARD!!! I study them.
Someday, if I am opportuned to meet them, I’ll be soooo ready with the kinda questions that would get them to adopt me.
Oh I was gonna tell a Monday afternoon story.
I was cyberstalking my mama and sister when I ran into this blog. (Joyce is my mama and Chris is my Greek Aussie sister) The blogger was actually one of the 20 invited to a mentorship forum all day with Joyce and Chris. And she shared her experience.
It was beautiful. All day with Joyce and Chris. With them pouring into you and answering questions!!!???
I jumped up from my bed and flew to Laterna, bought a journal and called it my Mentorship 101 journal.
There I would write out lessons from the everyday lives of these women.
And my other teachers and mentors.
I have never been more excited at a black leather bound journal in my life.
And you see, this doesn’t only go for ministers and preachers.
Are you a TV presenter? Who are your ‘elizabeths’ or teachers in that field? Find them and go hard!!!
Follow them on every available platform they have. Write tips. Study them.
You don’t have to copy their entire lives. Be led by God on what to emulate and what to nicely ignore.
The Internet has made information cheap. Infact it is so cheap we despise it.
This also applies to our spiritual life.
If there is any area you feel you are lacking in, sit down. Get scriptures. Get materials. Go on YouTube. Type in keywords and let the Holy Spirit lead you to the perfect one for you.
The beautiful thing is that God has sooooo many preachers. I mean the variety is beautiful but the message is the same. If you don’t like A, try Q.
And even if you don’t like A now, you may like him later. I didn’t like Joseph Prince before. Now I drool. Literally!!!
Worded? Check Check Check!!!
Ten thousand teachers guys!!! 10,000!!!
You must find your specs among them.
Don’t die in your ignorance. Don’t let laziness or whatever rob you of your blessings.
And this even also applies to the seemingly mundane stuff.
I recall when I was looking for a help, I spoke to at least THREE Christian wives/moms for counsel. Had not been down that road before and they had so they became my instructors.
Look out for this. Be careful of this. Etc.
Infact just before I settled for one, I still rang one of them and as we talked she advised me on how to control those ‘off days’ issue.
I mean the wisdom she gave was so sound that even my bestie had to applaud it.
Some of yawl are way too proud.
You won’t humble yourself with your teachers. You call them once, twice they don’t pick and wham, ‘who does she think she is sef’
Well, she’s apparently she’s all that which is why you are calling her.
Like PK said once, that person is obviously busier than you so be persistent. But not stupid.
Don’t give 12 missed calls at once.
Call once, twice. Then send a text.
If response is delaying, pray and/or send a gentle reminder.
Don’t abuse a relationship. Don’t abuse access. Don’t just give up because you feel the person is being proud. Sometimes they aren’t. They are actually busy. Or they wanna see how serious you are.
Don’t ask for money. Had to call out someone who did this. You don’t ask your mentors or teachers for money, no matter the good deed of saving the world you wanna do. You ask them for WISE counsel. And prayers.
Imagine if Chris started asking Joyce for money? Haha.
You see, Joyce’s ministry has actually partnered with Chris’s since that meeting to fight human trafficking. I’m sure Joyce saw sincerity and her spirit and decided to work with her.
Please don’t spoil a mentoring relationship by asking for money. Ask for wisdom. And as God leads them, they may actually decide to bless you financially.
Then when corrected, repent!!!
Don’t now start acting funny.
Moving on, also fight to get what you want from your teachers.
There have been TONS of people who send me invites to speak here or write there. 3 missed calls later, they move on. Or maybe they asked me a question on this or that or want me to help with this and that and a few ‘unavailable’ moments make them fashi me totally.
Makes me laugh how easily people give up.
Guys, how BAD do we want this?
Can you FIGHT for what you want?
The proof of anything is your desire and how much you are willing to fight for and pursue it.
A good mentor will pick up on that.
Frankly if I need something from you, I will fight to get it.
I don’t care how busy you are. I will be persistent. Cutely so. You must answer me. It also helps that I have a great personality and know how to build and maintain relationships (I’m taken tho. Incase there are new guys reading this blog. )
Ah some of yawl give up too easily. It makes my heart break.
Imagine if Caine gave up on fighting to drive Meyer, just because of a few NOs!!!
Nick, Chris’s hubby actually did go hard in his pursuit for Caine. In Bible school, she was his teacher and he fell in love with his teacher (same age tho). So he did some sneaking and found out from her best friend that she went swimming everyday at 6am. That’s how dude started forming 6am faithful swimmer too. Took his chances one early morning and now claimed that he LOVED swimming EVERY morning at 6am so that meeting was purely coincidental.
20years married now and bae says not ONCE in their marriage has Nick stood up to go swimming at 6am.
But you see, for what he wanted, he was willing to go HARD. He literally went HARD on his teacher. Haha.
Let me not go into how absolutely fruitful that union has been.
Nick is handsome tho. Choi!!!
When I started my weightloss journey too, I went hard with my teachers. And they were a LOT.
So many resources available even in Nigeria from BBM channels to blogs to Instagram etc. I meant business and any ‘teacher’ I encountered, I bookmarked. And followed as God led me. I don’t even have to like you. But if you have anything I need, I learn.
Some of yawl wanna lose weight but you want me to spoon feed you every thing. Even when I say it is on my blog, some people won’t visit, they will still come and ask me questions.
Oh my generation can be L A Z Y!!!
I’m just saying it as it is. Me inckudu
Sometimes too, people flat out tell me ‘Eziaha, I want you to mentor me’ and I’m like ‘oh cool. Praise God’
Then they actually want me to be the one chasing them.
This life is funny ooo!!! Hahahahahaha.
Lemme just explain something incase the long story above hasn’t explained enough.
You CHASE your mentors. They don’t chase you. You are the one who needs this and that. When they see your eager spirit, they open up even more.
Not that first few days, you are alright. By day 3 you disappear. .Mehn, I can’t!!!
No wonder some Pastors lament. It must be real hard with some mentees.
I’m just thrilled when I see thriving healthy mentor-mentee relationships. Where the mentor glows about the mentee. I did a post about it here (Give them something to be proud about)I see that between Rev and PK. Rev and Rev Victor. And of course Joyce and Chris.
Gosh Joyce is soooo proud of Chris and Chris literally CHASES Joyce. Even till tomorrow.
Tz sooo beautiful.
You know ehn, Rev is my numero uno. If I go to him on any matter, I OBEY.
Infact, I get into trouble with myself cos once he has counselled me, end of discussion. No matter how hard, I obey and give him feedback.
Some of yawl just disappear after your teacher has poured into you. Then when another wahala bursts, you come again.
No. Give feedback. Sometimes Rev can give me a short answer or even not respond but I make sure he gets my feedback.
If he mentions any resource or preacher, I go look for the person. Or stuff. I follow. I obey. And hard too. Because frankly Rev is not just my teacher, He is MY FATHER!!!
For even though you have ten thousand teachers, you do not have many fathers. For I became your Father in Christ…1 Cor 4:15
Which brings me to my next point.
With all the many teachers all over the globe, you need a ‘Father’ (it could be female). Someone who knows you and can vouch for and mentor you personally.
It would be funny if all I claim is Meyer and Chris.
No, I have Rev. I have my Pastor M. I have PK. I have Pastor B.
These people are my ‘Fathers’. I am their daughter in Christ. If something is killing me, I fly to them as the Lord leads me.
One of the BIGGEST issues I have faced in my life has to be my Ex. He somehow came back into my life after he got married and from ‘we are just friends’ clap entered dance.
Worst part? It was mutual. Even worse from his end.
People, I struggled!!! It was soooo HARD to shake him. Ask my best friend Valerie. And to think this was someone I didn’t sleep with ooo.
So one night, I got tired of struggling. I sent a message to Rev and confessed my sins. Next day, I’m in counselling in his office, bawling my eyes out.
He kept passing the box of tissues and listening patiently. Few words and a prayer later, I received strength to shake the brother off!!!
No judgement. No guilt tripping me.
No indulging me either. Just plain Father’s love.
Guys, you need that kinda person in your life.
And to make that above story less interesting, I was SINGLE then!!!
But hey, I could have been married too. The moral of the lesson there is HAVE A FATHER too!!! One who can closely mentor you one-on-one. But be a teachable and cool daughter or son too.
And something else you can pick from that story is this
Rev is the BEST anyone can have out there.
I’m so thankful for him.
Before this turns into a full blown book, let me end by saying that God (best still the Holy Spirit) is our ultimate Teacher. No human is perfect but God can lead and guide you on how to relate with your teachers.
Let Him lead you to other teachers per time.
So be sure to live LED!!!
I think I can sneak in a Caine video before I sleep.
Yup? Nah. I am sooo sleepy. Tz 1am.
You can enjoy this short one. A clip from Joyce’s conference 30th anniversary.
Chris is too funny I tell ya.
Funny story? Just as I put this post together, I bumped into a short vlog by Chris on, wait for it, Christian MENTORING.
Was just telling my best friend Enny that Chris must have somehow read my post even though her video is some 2years old I think.
Cool stuff. Told you she was my twin.
Plus tz funny that Joyce and Chris both have the same deep masculine voice lol
Guys sleep calleth.
Love yawl like crazy.
God loves you too.