How’s everyone doing? Week went well? Me I’m still very excited about WAR ROOM oooo. Eez really shacking me. I believe the Kendrick brothers when they talk about how every step of the way they prayed and are still praying because only trailers and clips wey I see and my prayer life moved up several notches.
#ilikemyprayerlifelikemycoffee Or Green tea in my case,
Ok on to the topic of the weekend.
Several questions were asked and answered and then I decided I’ll run some of them here and answer. I feel very qualified to talk about it being that I am such a great friend and I have such great friends. Toot toot!!! That’s my horn.
And then you guys should please share your experience/opinion with me.
Ok here goes some of the questions/issues raised…
- So have you ever introduced two persons to each other and then they end up getting so close/along and fashi-ing you…?
Hahahaha. Has happened to me more than once. Infact, I’m a pro at bringing people together so I have lost count. One happened in The ‘Buj that stunned me. I wasn’t really close to either as I had just met them under a year ago but individually. I never for once thought they would get along because one even had attitude as I did the intro. Then, like a house on fire they started flowing. And somehow, I was left out. It was funny but I adjusted because they really needed each other and were single, new in town and had some other similarities. Once, I hung out with them and realized NAH, I don’t belong here. I dunno how close they are now but I was too happy for them and proud of myself because my hooking them up was deliberate hence I wasn’t bothered. There have been more sha but you see, I have a beautiful circle of close friends who are loyal to our friendship so hey, if I can help others find such good friendships like I have, why not?
That goes without saying that none of my really close friends have fashid me on account of another. Dem no fit. And I haven’t done that to any of them either. Someone like my Sapphire would hunt you down lol.
- Did your relationship with your friend change when you/she got married?
One of the reasons I couldn’t reeeeaaaallllllyyyy flow with the ladies I spoke about above were our priorities were different. They were both single and searching. Make we no lie, single and married persons MAY not easily flow laidat, not because the married lady is posing oooo, but because… well marriage lol.
That’s not to say that single and married persons can’t be friends especially when you guys were friends before the wedding. You can. If both parties are mature enough to make some adjustments. I have some really cool single friends and we get along fine. But I also know that some people just abandon you after you marry because they think you will soon cucu abandon them so let them beat you to it lol. Happened plenty to me. It was hilarious to watch, I promise. Even when they reach out to you maybe on BBM, they would hurry away because they KNOW you have to go and do something marriage related. Hahahaha. I had to make an effort to show some of my friends that I didn’t spend all day cooking, having sex, or just being a wife. Lol.
One of my besties, the good Doctor Valerie got married 18months plus after me.
We remained besties all the while I was married before she joined me. Nothing spoiled at all.
But there were some I couldn’t ‘save’ so our relationship reduced to ‘we are sha not quarelling sha’ lol
So really, a change in marital status can affect friendship either way.
Plenty wisdom needed.
- Did your friendships change after you gave birth?
Now this one is a big one because the truth is, your baby is your ‘oga’ and dictates a whole lot. Oh my life changed.
There are days I sit down and preach a good motivational Christian sermon to myself just to remind myself that I still have a life outside diapers, breast pumps, wipes, bibs and baby drools. There are days I just sit down on the floor and cry and cry. Lol. Close friends and even ordinary friends need to be a bit more patient because a baby changes (almost) everything. And frankly, the new mama doesn’t have power for ego trips and people wey dey vex. Lol.
And you new mama, when you sef find time, catch up ok. Especially when some people have been real understanding. Which is why there are some friends who I have been unable to keep up with on SM, who I ring up once in a while and we have a good long chat.
So to answer the question, yup. Some people just fashi me totally not because they don’t dig me again but cos they feel I am eternally busy. Lol. Shout out to the amazing ones who holler from time to time. Trust me, we new mamas loveeeeeet. We really really loveeet. Sometimes we are too busy to flow for long but that thought stays in a beautiful corner of our hearts. And you checking up on us makes us still feel like a part of the human adult race. Especially on days when I have to think wella to recall whether I don baff and brush teeth today or not. Looool.
Special shout out to my girls Titi
Oh these two ladies, though single have been Ah-May-Zing. Bless them. They never cease to ‘interrupt’ me in ways I like just to be sure I am doing very well. Kisses boos… I can’t forget you girls. Btw they are finer than these pictures but I wanna spring this as a surprise on them and these are the ones I can find, pele lol.
*side eyes to the friends who went awol*
You better go from there. Lol
- Ever had a friend who well, won’t be your friend?
Hmm haven’t we all.
I had this friend for years who I thought we were all that. Because I know she will read this and come and harass me, I’ll stop here. Long and short is it always seemed I was the one who put plenty in. Ground no level at all. So at some point, I let go. Now with her, I manage my expectations. So that I don’t feel bad if she isn’t ‘there’. And I know there are also several people in your life like that who won’t be your friend like that. Sweetie, manage your expectations with that person and define your friendship. Then run along and invest your friendship energy where you would actually reap results and be very appreciated ok.
Doesn’t make you any less important or special. Tz just the wrong person. Even if it is me lol. The right person will bring as much as you into the friendship. Nuff said.
- When a friend gets too familiar, that is ‘see finish’
There is nothing I HATE like see finish!!! If you do that to me, I move on and don’t look back it would surprise you. I also HATE to be ignored, oh my how I hate it. Don’t think, ‘…shebi it is Eziaha…’ Oh no please don’t evurrrr think that with me. When someone starts giving you the time of day, you respect that person’s time then after sometime, you let see finish happen? Mba. I ring you, you don’t pick AND don’t ring back? I message you, you don’t respond? Haha, no time sis. I’m too old for nonsense. Lol. You see me and my girls Eniola, Ayo, Priceless, and Valerie? NEVER.
Never never never never never!!! My mainest chics ooo but the mutual respect is on point.
No matter how close we get, still give our friendship the respect it deserves as I am sure to do too. Heavens know that I treasure relationships. There are some people who as a result of blogging give me access to them, I make sure to never abuse it especially if I know they are on a higher level than me. Infact there are some persons I deliberately REFUSE to get too close to even though they have granted me all the access in the world to them. Why? Because over familiarity can breed see finish and I have way too much to gain from them to let that happen so I keep a beautiful safe but loving distance. And me too I know how to not be all up in your face too much to avoid see finish
My people, be wise. Handle relationships and friendships with wisdom. You don’t know what you have got till it is gone. SELAH!!!
This is long enough. There were more like frenemies and co but I will stop here. Please share your own experience with friends and friendships with us so we all can learn, ok?
But before I bounce, happy birthday to my darling friend and sister Priceless, nwunye Nnanna Ebiri-Okoro.
My number one rants and bants partner lol. My ‘one phonecall away’ friend.
You are such an amazing woman of God boo. Thank you for being a great great friend. GOOD THINS GS baby, ONLY GOOD THINGS!!!
I love you muchos boo.
And happy birthday to OUR DAVIDA…
Our proof of God’s faithfulness and goodness,
and of course devil’s eternal defeat.
Happy weekend err’one…
Took out my wool hair on Friday and just look at that length and texture.
Once I am fully settled in Lagos, I’m going RED and locking the hair.