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Why am I still SINGLE? A message preached by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

I just love this message. I am not sure but I think this was the last LoveDating&Marriage seminar I attended at DCC Lagos. I love it so much that it is the last Singles message left on my phone. It just seemed soooooo practical and useful. So this is dedicated to all my Single FABers. So much to learn from it. Preached by my Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo wpid-pastor-k.jpg So why am I still single? He answers this with 5 questions… Enjoy.

  1. Am I available?

Some people are actually NOT available but they think they are. Some actions or way of life make you NOT available in the ‘Singles market’ which is actually over saturated. There are some mindsets you may have which unknown to you may be sending out vibes to men that you are not available eg Do you always walk around with this thought ‘there are no good men/women anymore’ whilst praying for one? Honey, daz not ghanna wok. As a (wo)man thinketh in his heart, SO IS HE!!! Also if you are carrying emotional baggage, you may think you are available but you are not.

photo courtest intl workplace

photo courtest intl workplace

The energy flowing from you ain’t in line with what you praying for. It is like a house which has a ‘Welcome to our home’ doormat but yet a big dog right at the entrance. You know you ain’t welcome. Emotional baggages would keep getting in the way of conversations with even remotely interested opposite sex and aint nobody got time to continually hear about your ex John who dumped you or whatever horrid happened in the past. Please let God heal any hurt from your past. Also are you dating someone you KNOW you cannot marry whilst yet claiming ‘Single’? Eg dating a married man or some ‘bad guy’.

photo courtesy blogherdotcom

photo courtesy blogherdotcom

You may be thinking you are just holding that person in the mentime till the ‘Mr Right’ comes along but hunnay, you are sending signals even you don’t know about and people can pick those signals. You are emotionally involved no matter what you think. Usually when you meet someone, you are NOT as interested as a fully single person is only you don’t know.

Photo courtesy Doc Love http://uk.askmen.com/dating/doclove_600/671_doc-love-shes-not-interested.html

Photo courtesy Doc Love
http://uk.askmen.com/dating/doclove_600/671_doc-love-shes-not-interested.html

Also, if there is this ‘Bro John’ you have been ‘claiming’ although dude has neither said anything nor is he feeling you laidat. That HUGE emotional investment in Bro John has made you less emotionally available to others but you dunno. It will be clear that there is NO VACANCY in your life for other people. Please don’t lose a good guy waiting on Bro John whom you have seen in a vision lol. Keep it moving and ‘empty’ Love. Bro John aint interested. PK tells the story of this girl in this uni who was overheard praying and claiming a certain ‘Bro John’ who everyone knows was already engaged to ‘Sister Mary’. The girl just dey pray dey claim the man calling out his name and surname sef. You see such a lady, though she is single, she ain’t available. Another way to check if you are available is to find out if you have unrealistic standards. The person some ladies/guys wanna marry is A PEOPLE- 4/5 in one person. I wrote a post on that here. Nobody is 100% and hey even if there was someone like that, guess what? That person wont be able to stand you cos you are not 100%. I want a man that is very romantic, rich, successful, Prayer warrior, Bible teacher, good singer like Don or Kirk, humble like Adeboye, have faith like Oyedepo, excellent like Adefarasin, Prayer warrior like Olukoya, funny like PK, HABA SISTER, ONLY YOU!!!??? Humans are work in progress. That spouse doesn’t have to come 100% perfect 2. Are you accessible?

Photo from Flickr

Photo from Flickr

Some people are available and eligible but they are NOT accessible. They cannot be reached. Nobody got access to her.

Photo from flickr

Photo from flickr

Almost like all those sheltered children whose father had this shotgun or a big dog for any man that dared to visit.

You are certainly not welcome on this property... Photo from Flickr

You are certainly not welcome on this property… Photo from Flickr

As a single person, you must be able to be reached. You can’t be praying for a spouse and continually sit in your room under your bed, tz only mosquito that will see you. And God. But God doesn’t wanna marry. Ain’t no eligible person gonna come under your bed and see you. Which is why it is good for instance to belong to a church and a service group. Too much stories of couples who met whilst serving in church.

photo courtesy mix949

photo courtesy mix949

Being a member of the church ain’t enough especially if you are in all those big churches. Chances that you would be seen are low when all you do is come in, worship and after service you just leave. Ah!!! Bae, how is that gonna work? Join a department/small unit/connect group/house fellowship and let people SEE you and interact with you.

photo courtesy crossedroadsabc.com

photo courtesy crossedroadsabc.com

Not that you just rush into your car after every service without interacting with anybody. Don’t always walk sooooo fast. If you are single, reduce your pace hehehe. But frankly, I met one of my readers who said some people complained that she always walks too fast and with a straight face everytime in church and so was unapproachable. So please, catwalk ehn. Especially as a lady because these guys just dey try arrange themselves, gather stamina and muster courage to talk to you but before they reach you, you don disappear. And as a guy too, you gast be wise/. He tells the story of how in Bible school, first day he spotted this girl he thought he would like to get to know. Unfortunately, they didn’t sit so close. The next day he came early and sat close to the area the girl sat, made it a habit and kept finding reasons to communicate with her even if it meant copying notes he already had and asking questions he already had the answers to. ‘Excuse me, did you copy the assignment?’ ‘Did you get what that teacher said here?’ Of course, they started talking from there. My dear, you must be accessible as a single. Position yourself well. Have hobbies and be involved in them. Be sociable. Have friends. Obviously, he is not talking clubbing and stuff. There is healthy clean fun. Take yourself out if you have to, somebody might meet you there ooo. Nobody must take you there ooo. And while you are there, please be looking around small small. Like my Rev would say, watch and pray 3. Be approachable

From a recent shooting with Nemorosa. Thanks for the great shooting!

From a recent shooting with Nemorosa. Thanks for the great shooting!

Some people are available, they are accessible but to approach them is a different, impossible ball game. If you need to practice how to smile in front of a mirror, please do. Some ladies have a natural frowning face. A lot of men are not bold and they fear rejection so imagine they now gather courage to walk up to you and say hi or anything else to initiate conversation and you just size them up and down and are generally not very polite or welcoming.

photo courtesy flickr

photo courtesy flickr

The guy will just change mouth, turn you to traffic warden and ask you for direction or to borrow bible or something else. Anything but what he was on his mind because your countenance is bad. Please greet people and respond warmly. He that hath friend must show himself friendly. Recall Rebekah and how approachable and friendly she was to Abby’s servant and how she landed herself a rich young eligible blessed man. Another thing is when ladies always walk together like a gang and their countenance makes it hard for any guy to get that opportunity to speak to one privately. Don’t look down on people who don’t have it all now and be like ‘he is not my type’ lol. Some of these hunks we see now have not always been hunks ooo. For example see Rev and PK’s Surulere pix hehehe

hahahahahaha lol

hahahahahaha lol. I wish I can see the third man now

See them today

See them today

so some of these guys you boning now may be multi-millionaires in a few years. No use today scatter your tomorrow. Be approachable. That’s all for Part 1. Part 2 will be up same time next week. That’s Tuesday. Until then, share with your friends aii… Especially your Single and ready for marriage ones Trust you enjoyed this. Please share with your single friends, male and female and you can worship with DCC here WORSHIP WITH US DCC Lagos Victory Dome Behind PHCN Office, Fatgbems Bus Stop, Amuwo Odofin, Lagos 1st Service – 7.00am 2nd Service – 8.30am 3rd Service – 10.00am Midweek service Wednesday 6.30pm DCC Victoria Island Elegushi Beach Road, Beside Meadow Hall School, After 3rd Roundabout, Lekki, Lagos. Sunday Service – 11.00am Rush Hour Fellowship (Midweek service especially for those who work on the Island) Tuesdays:                    6pm at Silverbird Cinema, Hall 4. Instead of going to enter traffic, enjoy Rush hour fellowship and be refreshed. Love Dating and Marriage (the program where this message and such relationship messages are preched) holds at different intervals in the year. If you would call our numbers, they can send you reminder texts if you wish. Website: http://davidschristiancentre.org/ Phone number: 08077714411   And then of course we have our annual WHEN WOMEN WORSHIP coming up next week. Please click on link to get all the details. Friday June 19- Sunday June 21.

WHEN WOMEN WORSHIP 2015

WHEN WOMEN WORSHIP 2015

Ladies, you know you can’t afford to miss this one. Hosted of course by Pastor Mildred Kingsley-Okonkwo

Gorgeously preggo

Gorgeously preggo

Stay blessed y’all

E’

PS

In the, an amazing relationship blogger and sister has this beautiful post up on tips to surviving wedding season. Check it out here http://www.inthemidstofher.com/2015/05/5-tips-to-surviving-wedding-season.html

Feel free to snoop around her amazing blog too

Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

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19 Comments

  • Reply
    blinkyblast
    June 9, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    Talking about timing, this just came up at the perfectly right time for me…the ‘brother John’ story though. Laughing out loud at the ‘surulere’ picture. Despise not the days of little beginnings. But then, is it possible to be in a relationship and then God will be leading one to another person? Like you are in a relationship and then God is saying that relationship isn’t right, this is the one for You??

    • Reply
      E'
      June 9, 2015 at 10:44 pm

      it is hun
      but going to chapel for example and calling his name 247 in prayers aint gonna bring him. if God has spoken to u, God will speak to him so we should calm down

  • Reply
    Suzanne
    June 9, 2015 at 10:37 pm

    “good singer like Don or Kirk, humble like Adeboye, have faith like Oyedepo, excellent like Adefarasin, Prayer warrior like Olukoya, funny like PK, HABA SISTER, ONLY YOU!” This part cracked me up big time, funny but true. Thanks for this post E’, it is loaded with such deep truths

    • Reply
      E'
      June 9, 2015 at 10:46 pm

      You are welcome hun
      u know pk na lol

  • Reply
    Adamazi
    June 10, 2015 at 7:26 am

    Was just looking for all the info about DCC, time for sunday service and midweek service. Got all that now. Thanks E’.

    • Reply
      E'
      June 10, 2015 at 7:28 am

      you are welcome boo

  • Reply
    ijsweets
    June 10, 2015 at 9:49 am

    Nice write up Ezi..I learnt a lesson or two…..

    • Reply
      E'
      June 12, 2015 at 7:18 am

      You welcome darling

  • Reply
    Chioma
    June 10, 2015 at 10:52 am

    Deep truths_story of my life. ..u walk too fast…u too bone… dem go turn you to traffic warden ?.
    I have a lovely smile even 32 go show but these men Don show person pepper na to just smile without teeth go surface.
    Thanks Ezi. ..I will try to smile, catwalk et al. ???

    • Reply
      E'
      June 12, 2015 at 7:20 am

      Hahaha Chioma
      I can imagine the pepper but you know there are a few good men out there?
      Sending love and good vibes your way. You certainly made me laugh. Hahaha

      E’

  • Reply
    Teal
    June 16, 2015 at 3:39 pm

    Am guilty of the frowning face thing o,its the cover for my good,gentle and shy girl image especially when am walking down the streets.it also reduce advances{note the word reduce} from random guys.but when i smile eh,u will be tripping{lol}.infact once am frowning or looking dull,everybody asks if am alright.i can say am single by choice esp as at least two guys dey on top my marra for at least four years now.sometimes am just lk girl ,are u sure u are not been unrealistic? But other times am i just lk,hv seen too much to just make random choices esp since my spirit doesnt agree with them.cant miss the opportunity to turnup at WWW,hv bin dreaming of it since lk last year.
    PS Yay! am finally out of the ghost readers league.And yes if i see u pere,every spirit of shyness must flee and i must famz

    • Reply
      E'
      June 17, 2015 at 6:13 am

      looooool that spirit better runn
      btw these two guya best not be blocking road ooo. Anyways I trust you got God on this journey.
      See you at 3nights in the secret place boo

  • Reply
    My life in THREE Junes… | The F.A.B. Sister's Blog
    June 17, 2015 at 12:47 am

    […] guys. So I know I am supposed to be posting part 2 of WHY AM I STILL SINGLE but let’s put a pause on that for now, shall we? […]

  • Reply
    Omoluabi
    June 17, 2015 at 8:56 pm

    Thanks E’!

    Love to King Daveed. Hope I got the spelling right.

    • Reply
      E'
      July 1, 2015 at 8:55 am

      Yes you did love
      But tz just one word
      KingDaveed

  • Reply
    Why am I still single Part 2… A message preached by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo | The F.A.B. Sister's Blog
    July 2, 2015 at 11:39 pm

    […] is coming about 2weeks later than I mentioned. My internet has been craps!!! Please read Part 1 here […]

  • Reply
    zaramekpere
    July 15, 2015 at 11:07 am

    Likey! hope I can reblog sweerie?

    • Reply
      E'
      July 15, 2015 at 11:15 am

      Sure darling

  • Reply
    Zharam
    July 15, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    Reblogged this on TeenTalk and commented:
    Thank you for letting me share! Please follow Eziaha’s FAB blog on eziaha.com for pingbacks on this post.

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