And there’s just one thing that I wanna say
THANK YOU LORD
For all You’ve done in our lives
For all the blessings that we cannot (and can) see
THANK YOU LORD!!!
One year already…
Kai!!! Lil’ ol’ lil’ me!!! Mrs for a whole year? You know how we always associate marriage with older mature responsible people? Looool. At least I used to ooo. So seeing me now married and all, omo, eez not a small sontin ooo…
Whenever hubs prays, he is always full of thanksgiving to God. He has been overly faithful. I don’t even know how to explain His faithfulness. This morning as I woke to pray, I was just singing that song above and crying. God has been faithful to us and trust me, I know what I’m talking about…
There have certainly been some challenging days but they pale in comparison to the unbelievably blessed days of ‘Na marriage be dis?’ Lol. Cos it has been a most amazing ride. Just like sleepovers at your bestie’s when you were in school. E no hard ooo. Ha ahn!!! But then again like my darling darling Pastor Bimbo of blessed memory would say, without God and the Holy Spirit, it is the HARDEST work you would EVER do!!!
What has been then most challenging part? Hmm. Being apart. I won’t even advise my enemy to do this. Every single time I have been airport bound to the ‘Buj, I have cried. I ALWAYS cry. I recall once I cried almost all through the flight and ride home. It is NEVER going to be easy because this is NOT God’s will. At least for my own marriage ooo. And thankfully, God is working this out for us FT. AMEN!!! Like this first anniversary now, we are miles apart. I decided that I won’t cry instead I will take myself out on our behalf and not let the devil steal any joy abeg.
Like my Pastor said ‘this is the LAST year we will spend it apart…’ AMEN!!!
But there is something being apart has taught me tho. The man is the cover for the woman. The single E’ is very extroverted. Now being married and away from my hubby has seen me at my most unsocial without apologies please. Omo, you can invite me from now till tomorrow, I aint going lol. And I don’t care what you label me cos I don’t even smile too much with people so turning down invites is easier. Very straight routine… Work-Church-Home. No time. It just can’t be interesting without my hubby being there. Moreover that’s when devil starts looking for trouble. I mean, if anything is gonna happen, let my cover be there biko. Someborry kent be extroverted without her Cover.
Funny how when hubs tried so hard in our courtship days to make me ‘less extroverted’ being that I am not exactly single and I always revolted fiercely. Now he doesn’t need to mention. I just have matured. So tip number one for the wifey who’s temporarily apart, don’t be carrying ya bumbum everywhere. Siddon for house and pray God does the relocation quickly.
Another part of me marriage has exposed is the very unselfish part. As a confirmed last born, I used to be all about ME first. You may wanna call it selfish. With Bolaji tho, tz easily HIM first. From the fundamental to the mundane, I’m thinking ‘Bolaji’. And as I’m even making those sacrifices, I make sure he doesn’t know cos he will want to stop me. But you see, I LOVE my Bolaji so doing all I do comes easy. Even me adonbiliv just how much of an unselfish lover I have become. If dude wants to eat at 3am, I’m game ooo. Without issues sef. Nobody in this world can make me do that ooo. At least until my children come. But love is such a motivation.
Now imagine if this marriage was arrangee or I married a comedian of a man, hmmmm. It would have been a laborious something. Infact, I won’t even bother. And marriage can never work where either or both parties stay selfish. It’s not in the DNA. Selflessness is a major ingredient. Ladies marry well ooo. I actually believe there is work/sacrifice in marriage but with the right person, tz the easiest, most rewarding work you would ever do.
What else have I really enjoyed in this marriage? The fact that my house is a whole lot of fun and drama. Every little thing can turn into some serious comedy show. I dunno how to explain it but tz like you live in your own world, with your own rules and culture complete with your own lingua franca. Yup where a simple phrase like ‘You know what today’s date is abi?’ or ‘No problem’ has the kinda meaning we alone have given to it different from what the world interprets. Your happiness and joy is sacred… Something you two understand that an outsider won’t. You live in your own customised disney world. I guess this is what happens when you marry your cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-live BEST friend forever.
Biggest lessons in this one year?
1. Talk about it!!!
Don’t expect any body to become psychic and read your mind. For a long time, when I’m upset I’ll enter a shell. I’ll just EXPECT him to know that THAT THING hurt me. Then after stewing for sometime, I’ll now explode leaving hubs feeling like ‘wadidido?’ Lol. But frankly, these things I learnt before marriage. PK and PM drummed it on several relationship messages I listened to yet… Ush!!! I still hear PK’s voice ‘Men don’t read minds, they read newspapers’. Ush!!! Forgerrit ooo, just save yourself the heartache ladies and tell him nicely ‘You did this, I didn’t like it’ Simples. You would be absolutely shocked at how clueless they can be. Thankfully, I’ve learnt and I’m still learning. Certainly saves me plenty heartache.
Lemme cite a real time example. Whenever I’m at home, I want hubs eating 3square meals. So breakfast is usually compulsory. Sometimes I’ll wake and prep it and dude will just be like ‘I’m late. I’m not eating…’ Just like that!!!
WHAT!!! Any married woman knows food rejection is the first SIN in ‘Marriage 101’ (If you aren’t married, you won’t understand)
So even if you are in a hurry, reject it NICELY and with tons of apologies not just anyhow.
It vexes me ehn. And of course dude won’t know he has done anything, he will just gimme a kiss and zoom off to work.
After several instances of me vexing while he’s unaware, I now had to sit him down and explain say ‘no be so dem dey do am…’ Lol.
Marriage!!! Tz a school indeed.
Bolaji gets 100% here. I must admit he has beat me to this all the times. I’m still learning. But I am grateful for a husband who fights to keep the peace in the home. Who would apologise first, then trash out the matter afterwards just so peace can remain. Imagine if my hubs carried ego and pride everywhere? Maybe we won’t be here doing anniversary. I’m learning this much from him so where either person is hurt/upset, just friggin’ apologise. Peace is always better than fight hehehe.
3. Two are truly better than one…
I know the Bible says ‘It is not good for man to be alone…’ but this also applies to the woman. I dunno how life would have been alone especially where I have decisions to make. Sometimes even I am amazed at how stupid a decision I have made until my hubs comes along and does the analysis. Lol. And I’m like choi!!! Life is just safer with a sensible partner. Recently, there has been an issue we hadn’t quite agreed upon. Everytime I brought it up, it didn’t matter whether he had been joking and laughing since, he will go all serious and say NO and I’m not joking. Me sef I started to wonder which kain NO be this so I just told myself when the time comes, I’ll pull a smart one on him. Hmmm, daz how one day the HS took me to school explaining just why and how stupid my own decision was in very clear terms looool. Omo, when I went back to tell hubs, he’s like I knew what I was saying plus the entire thing was even for my own good sef. Yet I was there protesting.
Omo, a woman is dangerous ooo. Too dangerous. Thank God in His infinite wisdom, He commanded her to submit to and made man the authority over her. He certainly knew what He was doing.
Again ladies marry well. We really do need the right HEAD to submit to.
Babes, thanks for everything. Thank You for fighting for me when some comedians would have scampered under all the pressure and wahala you went through to wife me. Thanks for taking this girl and making her what she is today and will be in the future. Thank you for endlessly believing in me even when somethings have happened that wanna shake me. Thank you for never giving me reasons to doubt fidelity when we are apart. Oh what a gift!!! Thank you for giving me the freedom to make my choices and guiding me when I need it. Thank you for always having my best interest at heart. Thank you for always providing and making sure I lack nothing even when you have had to make major sacrifices yourself. I mean, it is most amazing. You showed it from courtship days that my comfort is your numero uno priority and even in marriage, I have never doubted that. Thank YOU. Thank you soooo much. I absolutely love you. Now and into eternity.
That’s why I bear Mrs. Eziaha Bolaji-Olojo…. So there are NO mistakes abeg hehehe
With how awesome you have been as a husband, one can only imagine just how awesome you would be as a father. I’m thankful I am making babies with you and no other and I’m certainly looking forward to that next phase in our lives as parents…
Happy Wedding Anniversary to us. And that’s into forever…
WordPress has been doing rubbish today.
This is not quite how I wanted the post. I have had to edit and edit.
Thank God there is something up sha
Thanks everyone for all the love and wishes