church,church girls,church guys,fab lane,Letters to My Family

Tz a FAMILY AFFAIR!!!

I love to observe my environment.
Not just casually, but scientifically.
Before, I used to be a participant-observer (read ‘get into arguments’). Then I got my fingers burnt some. So I flipped to non-participant observation. 
And as a Social Scientist, it behoves on me to not just study and criticise but proffer solution as much as I can. And cos I am a Sugar daughter, I’ll have to do this my Sugar Daddy way. 

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So what exactly am i saying? And why all the Sociological talk? Aside showing off that is
Simples.
I did some Twitter and Blog studying while I was away. In some instances, my heart bled. Bled at the sheer ignorance of some believers. Paul actually calls it STUPIDITY!!!
At this point, may I emphasize the fact that I am writing this to BELIEVERS please.

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You know, like Paul wrote most of his letters to the CHURCH and the LEADERS. So biko ehn, don’t come and send me one email blabbing one rubbish. That’s how after I wrote the Post on what I thought about the gay bill, some atheist FINISHES me in a message. I had to patiently tell her that it really wasn’t an open letter per se. I was writing to Christians, Sweetie. Believers. And I made that clear enough in the Post, no?

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It would not be right to address us all the same way....

Which throws me right into what I wanna talk about… Somethings are FAMILY AFFAIRS. We certainly don’t need no outsider butting in our business but we also need to be very certain we are not taking our business out there, inviting outsiders to come and judge.
This is going to be a really long read…
Popcorn on you. Drinks on me… Just be sure you are drinking water.
Enjoy!!!
So let’s jump right into it… Starting from a scripture God opened my eyes recently.
Ist Cor 6. A letter from Apostle Paul to the CHURCH in Corinth.

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I don't agree with 'lesser known' tho

Quick clarification before I continue. You do realize that Christians are not perfect, yeah? Of course this is not license to keep walking in sin but my darling, there are absolutely NO perfect human beings. Much as I love my Pastors, I am aware they are NOT perfect. Ditto my hubby. Ditto the Pope. Ditto me. Ditto you. The difference between us has to be the fact that we do not continue to deliberately live in sin. So when we fall (not if we fall but WHEN), we collect grace and forgiveness and keep going. And our God? He loves us perfectly. Warts and all.

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Yup!!!

He too understands our ‘humanity’ hence His cleansing/sanctifying us daily by the washing of water with the Word… (Eph 5:26,27).
I love that God, the perfect One understands that occasionally, we would be far from perfect, we would offend/hurt one another, we would make mistakes, we would have fallings out even amongst ourselves as believers. We would not always agree with each other. And that itself is to be expected. So how do we handle it? How do we handle a believer stepping outta line? How do we handle a Pastor, Deacon, President of PFN/CAN/whatever who crosses a line? How do we handle a Saint whose sin has become apparent (sometimes to you only)? Again, recall this has NOTHING to do with someone who makes a practice of sin. I am talking TRUE BELIEVERS here.  Misunderstandings and stuff, Believer to believer. Saint to Saint.

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Bible as a weapon...literally

So how do you handle it?

Let’s ask our brother Paul…

“… 1-4 And how dare you take each other to a secular court! When you think you have been wronged/have a dispute, does it make any sense to go before a court that knows nothing of God’s ways, men neither upright nor right with God instead of a family of Christians? Don’t you know that one day, we Christians will form a jury that will judge the world? Even Angels. Isn’t it a good idea to practice on these smaller petty everyday affairs/cases? As these disagreements and wrongs surface, why would you ever entrust them to the judgment of world people you don’t trust in any other way? Men who count for least and are without standing?…”

I mean seriously? How dare you!!! How dare you take a family affair to Twitter or your blog for ‘outsiders’ to take it apart?  Don’t you realize that we are FAMILY?

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LOVE!!! Like a movie

Tz just like my hubby and I have an issue and I go and call someone who is not only a Christian but has divorced five times to handle the matter? Am I not being STEW-PEED? Why would I take to my blog to rubbish a man of God? As in a really REAL MOG who has made a mistake or made what YOU think is a mistake? Why would I tweet and RT such filth? Why would I dare make such ‘inside gist’ popular? Someday, we would settle our ishs but we would have tarnished the family name with people who were waiting to take us apart before. Tz a real battle we are fighting here. We don’t need no outsiders in the ring, thank you!!!

Ok E’ I hear you. So what do I do when someone has really really hurt me? Or when a believer is doing blatant wrong?
Let’s continue with Paul….

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“… 5-6 I say this as bluntly as I can to wake you up to the STUPIDITY of what you’re doing. I say it to move you to SHAME. Is it possible that there isn’t (at least) ONE level-headed person whose actions are governed by piety and integrity among you who can make fair decisions when disagreements and disputes come up? Those who are wise and competent enough to decide the PRIVATE grievances, disputes, and quarrels between members of the brotherhood? I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!! And here you are, brother taking another brother to public court right in front of unbelievers!!! People who don’t even believe in God!!! How can they render justice if they don’t believe in the God of justice? Gentile Judges and unbelievers without faith or trust in the Gospel of Christ, haba!!!

Hmmm. Ok E’. Seen. What if I do that and still no change. Nothing happens still?
Please continue with Paul…

“…7-8 These court cases, the very fact of your having lawsuits with one another are an UGLY BLOT on your community/family. A defect, a defeat, an evidence of positive moral loss for you. Wouldn’t it be far better to just TAKE IT, to let yourselves be wronged, defrauded, robbed, deprived of what is your due and just FORGET it? Leave it at that!!! All you’re doing is providing fuel for more wrong, more injustice, bringing more hurt to and cheating the people of your own spiritual family by treating them so….”

Seriously, Paul is actually saying that!!! And truly, sometimes I believe you should just shut up and forget it. Let’s be sincere for a second, most times tz just for gist sake that you mention it. Or just to fuel your bloated opinionated status. ITK tinz. Trust me, you can just SHUT UP!!!

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So now, you are wondering, how will these people who do this wrong be punished? God can’t just give us all these rules and regs and let them get away with hurting us/others, no?
Like Abraham, you ask ‘Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?’

Of course. Like my mama Joyce Meyer says, you don’t have to worry about people getting by with sin or giving vengeance. Sin will always have its consequences.

But Paul isn’t done
Verse 9-11 answers that question…

“…Unjust people who don’t care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. The unrighteous, the wrong doers, Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it, don’t qualify as citizens in God’s kingdom.
The unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived (misled): neither the impure and immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality. Nor cheats (swindlers and thieves), nor greedy graspers, nor drunkards, nor thieves, nor greedy people, nor foulmouthed revilers and slanderers, nor cheats, nor extortioners and robbers will inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God…”

I am sure one of the sins/hurts mentioned here are part of what your issue with that believer may be… That’s just God simply saying, I’ll deal with them myself. Don’t worry your sweet little head especially if you didn’t find a way to resolve it in the family.

Oh how I love verse 12…

Cos sometimes tz easy to fall into the trap of ‘…Afterall what I am saying is right. I am not lying about what so so and so did…’

Verse 12 is for you… Served Triple Delight

1.  Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable WHEN CONSIDERED WITH OTHER THINGS… AMP

2.   You may say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything… NLT

3.   Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims… MSG

Gbam! Gbamer!! Gbamest!!!

You see ehn, a Believer who sins is not a Sinner. He/She doesn’t auto become an outsider just because…
If you are looking for a perfect sin-free Christian, you are sleeping on an okada.
You will soon crash.
Listen up, I have heard a billion thousand things that have totally broken my heart from and about Christians. Pastors inclusive. Ministers not excluded. Some practices in some churches are not exactly my kinda thing. Some may even be ‘questionable’ especially by an ‘elite’ or ‘intellectual’ crowd. For example, the rules and regs that come with wedding in the church? Or why this church allows this and another doesn’t? I can discus it with my spiritual authorities. I can discus it with a sensible mature believing friend like my Booski or hubby.

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Booskiiiiiiiiii... FAMILY!!!

But I am the LAST person to discus it with an outsider. To bring it on Twitter. To blog about it. Or take it to any platform that is ‘open’. 
My dear, you know why we can’t afford to?
Cos a house divided against itself can NOT stand…
Plus the outsiders are waiting. Waiting for any loophole to attack the church. To attack Christians. To attack Christianity. 
True true, these things are an ugly blot on our community. Someday, we will settle it. And will wanna move forward. But we have already done major damage. These outsiders will NEVER forget. They will use it against us. They will bring it up when it won’t favour us. Trust me. Something happened last year and I was surprised when some Christians I knew kept messaging me… ‘…You should blog about it. Have you heard? That’s how these Pastors deceive people. Etc…’
One actually said to me
‘…I hope you have heard. All this love and follow follow you do with your Pastors…’

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Daddy's Fave Girl....Forever!!!

Loooool. iLaugh. Of course I ignored them. But what I found the real trip was when this ‘outsider’ on/from twitter sent me a Post, asking me to run it on MY blog and in there she was rubbishing our kingdom cos she had ‘facts’.
See guts ooo. Choi!!!

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Inukwa biko...

This is a problem in MY Kingdom. Among my people. My family. You, an outsider wants to be the one to cast the blames? No baby, you don’t qualify. Leave us alone.
Now you can now imagine a believer being the one to propagate and spread such.
Ignorance and/or stupidity much?
We really have to protect our kingdom. Not to endorse rubbish or turn a blind eye always but settle ishs without outsiders coming in. I am amazed as to how Boko Haram gets their members to be so unflinching and faithful to such a cause!!! And I’m trying not to qualify the cause here. But we, we who have something far better are quick to tear it apart when one of us errs. And publicly too. Inviting those without moral standing in to join in the massacre.
Sad!!! Too sad!!!

Christianity is a PERFECT religion/relationship.
Tz we Christians who are not.
The outsiders sadly don’t know the difference. And a lot of times, the full story is not even known. They move from attacking the Christians to attacking Christianity as a whole. They rubbish it, making a joke of it.
Oh and that’s the painful part… The generalising. Have you seen these hounds attack such on Twitter and blogs? Or even in person? Ah!!! It moves from one person to ALL Christians.
Darling, we don’t want that. Don’t join them. We have a lot of people fighting us without us fighting ourselves.

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Do what you can to help a family member up... Even if tz to just PRAY for them

Disagreements will come. Christians will sin. Believers. True Believers that is. And dear brother/Sister in the family, for the love of our Father’s name, please RESPECT YOURSELF!!! But when we err, can we handle this our way? Can we have ‘private discussions’? Can we NOT tweet RT, broadcast, or re-blog anything that paints a true believer and Christians generally in bad light? Can we still treat that erring person as a sister or brother indeed? Can we have wise, competent, level headed spiritually mature persons handle the ‘buts’? Can we even just let it go and roll it over to the Judge of all the earth if all else fails? Can we just SHUT UP especially when you know that the stuff you wanna say or write gives outsiders a vote against us? Can we have private discussions and private ‘fights’ but out there protect our own with our blood, especially but not limited to those who hold positions of spiritual authority when they err? Can we keep the outsiders out?
Why?
Cos tz a FAMILY AFFAIR!!!

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No OUTSIDERS allowed

#GroupFamHug#
E’
Testifying FORWARD!!!

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44 Comments

  • Reply
    tannie
    April 6, 2014 at 9:52 am

    Eziaha.. U are 10 much! Yes 10 llike that!!! Prepare to be a god mother to one of my sons…
    Just this week I re listened to PK’s Msg on the woman caught in adultery and then it dawns on me that even the mightiest of men will make mistakes but then it should not take away our love for them. PK’S example of his rship with Rev was just everything to me.
    If ur bro/sis has done wrong, ur blog/fbook/twitter is not the place to be advising or correcting them. Neither is it ur business to propagate the gist.. If u must propagate anything then let it be the gospel!!!
    Let me sum up with Pastor Poju’s words “why do u want to be a referee of the game u are also playing?”
    May God give us the grace to consciously help and stand for one another.

    • Reply
      E'
      April 6, 2014 at 10:30 am

      Yaaaaaay
      Godmother status increasing… And I know how to pamper… He he he
      Thanks boo. And yes, I actually forgot to listen to that message before I published this. I planned to and steal some power points. Now I will go and listen to it again.
      Muah
      E’

  • Reply
    Jane Isichei
    April 6, 2014 at 10:19 am

    Perfect… Jst perfect. Bless u bestie

    • Reply
      E'
      April 6, 2014 at 10:29 am

      Virtual bestie mi….
      I looked for you taya as I rounded up my 31 voices…..
      Where have you been? And how have you been?
      Muah
      E’

  • Reply
    phebe
    April 6, 2014 at 11:07 am

    No additions biko. uve said enough for the wise already.
    meanwhile the water cost just #1000 and no, the message in d blog doesn’t pay for it. I shall send u details. lol….
    Tannie do u attend C3? sounds like something Pastor said last week.

    • Reply
      E'
      April 6, 2014 at 11:17 am

      Na wasn’t thinking of adding…
      Hehehe

    • Reply
      E'
      April 6, 2014 at 11:18 am

      And is the water Berry-flavoured?
      Loooooooool
      Nope Tani doesn’t… But she listens to Pastor Poju a-plenty. So tz possible.

  • Reply
    Rosebud
    April 6, 2014 at 11:16 am

    I soooooo agree with you dear! 100%!

  • Reply
    Oluwateniolafunmi
    April 6, 2014 at 11:49 am

    Thanks sis for ds wonderful and great msg, such an insightful post, God bless you fa! Keep d vision burning. Much love mee

    • Reply
      E'
      April 6, 2014 at 3:15 pm

      Thanks Teniola darling
      And amen!!!!

  • Reply
    Tomiwa
    April 6, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    Reblogged this on and commented:
    Gbam

  • Reply
    ify
    April 6, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    Singing….*Tz a family affair eee, tz a family affair*
    Nne ehn, this is sooooooooo true… Thank you excellently much for writing this… And thank you for stating ever so correctly that this is for believers ooo, outsiders not allowed!!! Gbam Gbamer Gbamest…
    I can’t add anything joor…God bless your heart, your mind and your family E’licious… You are forever Sugar Daddy’s writing baby… Love and peace of Christ Jesus…++++ happy sunday Fabers’

    • Reply
      E'
      April 6, 2014 at 3:15 pm

      Thanks darling Fey’licious
      🙂

  • Reply
    BlessedV
    April 6, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    Wow! Preaching sis *shouting*……nice message. Abeg permit to say ‘Kabaye’.

    • Reply
      E'
      April 6, 2014 at 3:14 pm

      I said that at several times as the inspiration for the post dropped.
      Kabaye!!!!!!!
      🙂

  • Reply
    Naijawife
    April 6, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    God bless you for this post. These verses were really on my mind a few months ago during that big pastor scandal. I couldn’t find any verses justifying putting out an issue between believers into the “outsider domain”. Everything indicated settling it within the body of believers
    Then recently, Me and my twinnie were debating on Twitter some time back when I realized,….xtians should probably keep such debates via dm. 1) so as not to confuse outsiders and 2) so as not to reflect badly on the kingdom

    • Reply
      E'
      April 6, 2014 at 8:05 pm

      Exactly nne…
      Those two points just summed up my post.
      Bless you boo

  • Reply
    valerie
    April 6, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    I v discovered that christians enjoy judging people,rejoicing when other christians pastors fall,so that they can gleefully “pharisee” them
    Satan is waging war against Christians,we shld unite to fight/pray,pull up soldiers who fall on the battle ground!and not trample on them.
    The weapons of our warfare are not carnal!it is a spiritual battle that doesn’t end until Jesus comes!the sooner we Christians realise this!the more we’ll help each other along the way and KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY.
    Ps:thrz a special place in hell for judgemental ppl o(marykbaxter said so)

    • Reply
      E'
      April 6, 2014 at 8:08 pm

      Looooooool Vee
      Special place in hell indeed.
      Absolutely valid point you added
      Muah sweetie

  • Reply
    Inthe...
    April 6, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    Gbam! Let me not act like theres anything else to say. You are so spot on its ridiculous!!!

    • Reply
      E'
      April 8, 2014 at 10:25 am

      My blog mama…
      Means plenty.
      Daz why I love you plenty too
      Muah

  • Reply
    1 + The One
    April 7, 2014 at 8:35 am

    Excellent post! I totally agree with you.. It is a family affair, keep it in the family!

    • Reply
      E'
      April 8, 2014 at 10:34 am

      Thanks Ayo darling…

  • Reply
    Chicadimples
    April 7, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    Eziaha, u have talk it finish! Lol
    1000 likes!
    God will continue to increase u in wisdom!

    • Reply
      E'
      April 8, 2014 at 10:33 am

      Amen!!!
      Thanks boo

  • Reply
    pastormildred
    April 7, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    Reblogged this on just us girls naija and commented:
    I totally totally love this. It’s a must read for every Christian…

  • Reply
    pastormildred
    April 7, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    I’m just totally more in love with you after reading this….is that even possible? hmmmm….

    This is such a breath of fresh air. I feel like this is God’s heart for this season.

    A thousand likes and million hugs and kisses

    • Reply
      E'
      April 8, 2014 at 10:32 am

      Awwwwwwwwwww
      *sniff sniff*
      Collecting all the hugs and kisses… Storing it…
      Thank you mama…
      You are an E’ inspiration.
      And you know I got LOVE for you plenty!!!

  • Reply
    Ada
    April 7, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    Spot on ! You deserve 2 huge jerry can of petrol from me for this piece 🙂

    • Reply
      E'
      April 8, 2014 at 10:30 am

      Loooooooooooool
      That’s huge tho…
      Coming to gerrit!!!

  • Reply
    mayreeh
    April 7, 2014 at 11:08 pm

    Great! God Bless You E’.

    • Reply
      E'
      April 8, 2014 at 10:29 am

      Bless us all, amen
      Mary darling, I have missed you a plenty.

  • Reply
    Shot caller
    April 8, 2014 at 6:24 am

    the book of 1cor6…. this is exactly where i was reading yesterday….. go girl! you have so dissected this passage for me…. you’re so in the spirit! thankyou so much for this

    • Reply
      Shot caller
      April 8, 2014 at 6:33 am

      a little addition…. i have this barbara johnson calender on my desk and today’s quote reads….”God cleanses us and makes us new. i like to say the one thing God cannot see is our sin because it is covered by the blood of Jesus. we are forgiven – and as christians we know it”……. pinish!

    • Reply
      E'
      April 8, 2014 at 10:28 am

      Thanks for reading dear…
      And what’s up with your blog/website?

  • Reply
    mcieonnanna
    April 8, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    Okay emmm….lengthy post but the message is clear: it’s a family affair-a kingdom blood-washed, blood built! They will never be clean enough to judge us*smiles*

    • Reply
      E'
      April 10, 2014 at 5:40 pm

      Never!!!!

  • Reply
    SUZANNE
    April 8, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    E’ let me start by saying God bless You a million times. Just gettin to read this now and I must say this post hits home. The sooner some believers come to understand the folly in such actions the better for us all. God bless you!

    • Reply
      E'
      April 10, 2014 at 5:42 pm

      We miss you ooo sweerie
      God bless you too boo
      Muah

      • Reply
        SUZANNE
        April 11, 2014 at 1:19 am

        I MISS U MORE MY DARLINGS, WLD BE BACK SOONEST BY GOD’S GRACE, XOXO…

  • Reply
    StupendousGrace
    April 9, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    Dear E,
    I couldn’t have said it better. Thank you!!! And you have no idea what the visual image of Paul did to me as I read. Just seeing that image and reading his letter immediately afterwards was a strong image imprinted in my mind and a solid reminder. I think we all need to be reminded and with that sense of ‘family’, we will act better.
    We can hold our family meetings and sort ourselves out, but to take our family matters out there? Mba! I think that there is an increasing level of liberty we feel now especially as pertains to life and it aligns with a freedom of expression and opinion. I fear that we may have adopted that culture and deployed our ability to express ourselves to the extent that we forget that our primary loyalties are to Christ and to the kingdom. We belong to the family FIRST and the rules of our family are often COUNTER CULTURE.
    So, if for instance,prevailing culture is to call out a wrong doer, our family says we must correct in love. Sometimes our actions that are not in consonance with the scriptures are borne out of our egos rather than truly upholding the kingdom and I am learning everyday that the Spirit of God is never exalted when our egos show up.
    Thanks E. Apologies for my lengthy comment, I didn’t expect it to be this long. 🙂

    • Reply
      E'
      April 10, 2014 at 5:42 pm

      You nailed it el Darling
      Yup tz indeed the increasing sense of liberty, freedom of expression n opinion. Thank God for vers 12… You don’t have to say it out there just because….
      Thanks darling
      And you know I LOVE long 🙂

  • Reply
    waterwalker2013
    April 10, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    Reblogged this on GFG's Blog and commented:
    True talk…pls read…..

  • Reply
    ewaoluwa
    April 24, 2014 at 6:58 am

    Reblogged this on LIFE EMPOWERED and commented:
    Hello blohearts. Saw this post and I knew I must share it. Hope it clears some cobwebs on the blog sha. 😀 . Love you all

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