church,DATINGand MARRIAGE,friendship,happy family

Na the same marriage be dis…?

I usually don’t like sensationalism. And in Nigeria, we thrive on it. I hear a lot of sensational news and I usually have an opinion which I sometimes want to share on my blog, but I have learnt to keep it, whether in support or against, to myself as I don’t want to further spread a gist I would rather died down. But two days ago, I saw this tweet by a news blog site on a certain comedienne whose 7 MONTH OLD MARRIAGE HAD CRASHED!!!
First thing I thought was that being that she is a comedian, they must be joking.
‘Cheap bloggers looking to drive traffic to their blog with sensational news…’ Mschewww.
And then later, I saw it on Linda Ikeji’s blog complete with a quote from the horse’s mouth. Look if it was America, I wouldn’t even blink but to hear this in Naija…? That problems started within two weeks and in a couple of months, they were already separated but didn’t go public with it till now…
Then I asked myself… ‘Na this same marriage dem dey talk?
I was so vexed in my spirit. Like, are you guys kidding me right now? Aku m just kept wondering why I take things like this too personal… I didn’t stop sighing and hissing.
I was still smarting from that yesterday when I saw the story of a PREGNANT woman who allegedly sliced her hubby’s penis. I usually don’t look at ‘viewer’s discretion advised’ pictures but I didn’t know when I chanced upon the gory pictures while reading the story both from the man and his wife’s account. The story was just incredible. How does a man and his wife become this set of people who fight and involve neighbors, chase each other down the street, pour plate of beans on this head, break plastic on the other’s head, and all sort of dirty unimaginable things IN FRONT OF YOUR SON. Then before we know it, we are talking of a sliced penis which happened in the middle of the night when husband and wife should be asleep in each other’s arms biko nu… Though woman says it was her fingernails she used, man insists it was a knife and frankly darlings, I am going with the man. Aint no finger or teeth bad enough to do that damage I saw ooo.
I can’t put a picture here. Please Google. Or visit LIB…
Thank God it could be stitched. Thank heavens dude made it alive ooo. My spirit was really down at that news. And when I am upset, I gripe. I griped and hissed and sighed so much to Aku m that he just gave up on me and continued playing the Subway surfers I taught him ooo. I kept on asking myself…
‘Na this same marriage dem dey talk…?’
I was still saddened by that when an update on the case of the Arowolo’s came up on Channels TV news at 10. I could have sworn someone was out to make me real mad by bringing all these stories to me in quick succession. Kilode?!?!?!?! The case of the man Kolade accused of allegedly killing his wife Titi in 2011. Almost two years now and case is still in court. The pathologist who did her autopsy said she was stabbed 76 TIMES and the hubby claims that she inflicted such pain on herself by herself when they were fighting because she was mentally unstable, meanwhile he had just about 12 injuries, some even superficial. How does someone stab herself 76 times biko nu? Too sad!!! And Titi was just 29 years YOUNG with her whole life ahead of her when she passed…
Abeg, again I ask, na marriage be this?
Most of us know that my hubby is a lawyer so he took it upon himself to torment me even further by giving me more real life examples of marriages gone south with plenty of drama… How does a woman POUND her husband to death? How does a man beat away pregnancy from this same wife that he will pull moves on under the sheets at night? How does a husband and wife get to the point where they argue to a point where it gets physical, involves neighbors and then even leads to such grave physical injuries and death in extreme cases…
How do you even start having problems in a marriage of TWO WEEKS? Shouldn’t you still be on honeymoon? Or did the problems start BEFORE the wedding but you chose to turn a blind eye and be a wishful thinker?
And where there are misunderstandings in the marriage, can’t they both work it out in a loving atmosphere? Why are people too quick to head for seperations and the Court when they should be running to the altar where the covenant was cut in the first place?
Like Bolaji said, it has become easier, even cool to divorce or separate because they have many examples ahead of them to look at… Many people are doing it now… Stars and non-Stars (lol) and they are still alive, no?
Chai!!!! Na this same marriage be this?
Truly, no marriage is immune to issues and even the big D. We all have to work to make our marriage the marriage of our dreams…
But even before we get to the big DO, we need to be sure we are choosing rightly. We need to be sure we are letting God lead us in this choice because frankly you can’t run this thing called marriage in the physical ooo. Recently, a female friend asked my husband if she should continue in a relationship even as her boyfriend keeps beating her. That will he change? I mean, why do we ladies do this to ourselves? If he is beating you in courtship, of course he will beat you in marriage. You don’t even need the Holy Spirit to know that. If he is even threatening to beat you in courtship, that’s a RED flag right there… Shine ya eye…
If he/she is sha beating you in marriage, by all means, for your safety and life, biko separate temporary while you try to work things out from a safe distance. There are many more Titi-like stories out there…
And by all means please, if you are not convinced of that partner, please DO NOT MARRY. Forget the pressures from anyone, be it mother, father, aunties, uncles, society, etc. Let them pressure you, no answer them ooo. Na only you go marry not them. You are in it alone. After the wedding, no one follows you home. No one will be there when you are suffering the wrong choice they have pressured you into making.
And nne, when that choice leads you to hell, either in form of a separation, a divorce or even death, they will be the first to spread your news and mock you. You are better off single and happy than married and mad/divorced/separated. If you don’t feel a conviction from the Holy Spirit complete with the peace of God, please let that person go. A broken relationship is way better than a broken marriage. I truly wish these people knew this… I feel so sorry for people who have these issues and I can’t even imagine how they feel…

Now, I know that I am not qualified to be the one to talk to anybody about pressure. True, I was blessed enough to have that aspect of my life sorted out for me really early. I won’t lie and say I know how it feels that another year has gone by and left you single and frankly 2014 doesn’t look any brighter. But I have a Sugar daddy and He knows how to say ‘You will testify’ and then gives you SPEECHLESS testimonies. Do you wanna ask Dumebi? Or Pastor M?

I can pray to that Sugar daddy… I will be standing in the gap for you too…
I truly pray for my single (and even married) friends, YOU TOO WILL HAVE AND ENJOY THE MARRIAGE OF YOUR DREAMS…
Stay with God, work His Word and I am trusting God that those of you who so desire will make the right spirit-led, pressure-free choice and will testify this coming year 2014.
Some cheery news to end this Post…
I kept on asking ‘na marriage be this’ as I recounted these stories above because I can’t even imagine the marriage that I have been in for exactly one month today being anything short of heavenly…

I mean, how? It has been one whole month of heaven on earth and I have never been happier with this man…

30:11:2013 to 30:12:2013
One month of my heaven on earth because I have my perfect slice of heaven with me on this journey…
We just got started baby

And just incase a clown is thinking ‘…Tz just one month E’. Too early to say… Wait until later before you start talking ooo cos you never know…’
Bleh…

Because we are right living people, our marriage path shall continually glow with light. The longer we stay married, the brighter our marriage shines…
And aint natin the devil can do abourrit…

Love you forever baby…
Then I am thrilled about the 31 Fab voices kicking off in January. Whoop!!! Burying the devil, one testimony after another… Remember, we are looking at our plans for 2014 and NOT how our 2013 went. So feel free to share your plans- the good, the funny, the serious, etc- for 2014 with the FAB community and let’s pray together and also learn from each other too. And yup, you can still send your entries…
Then my final post for the year comes up tomorrow. I keep thinking of how I want it to go… I am trusting God for inspiration ooo looool.
Meanwhile, two posts I ran into and thought fabulous enough to share with y’all
http://marriagebydbook.wordpress.com/
SEXPLICIT… which talked to the ladies on staying sexually pure…
State of the Union. Amazing post on how couples need to do regular reviews. Singles and married, y’all need to read this. I am even taking this beyond married couples to the relationships in our lives whether with lovers or friends. It is very imperative that the relationships in our lives are reviewed from time to time so that we are sure we are building healthy relationships and not just wasting our time and lives…
Oh then this one on Vine Magazine on ‘If staying married is so difficult, why get married?’
http://vinemag.com/if-staying-married-is-so-difficult-why-get-married/
Awesome piece…
Alright, let me get out of your faces… FOR NOW
Hugs and Kisses,
E’

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36 Comments

  • Reply
    oluwaseun
    December 30, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    Hmmmm!We should really thank God for the good marriages around us(I mean,those of us who have seen great marriages)I honestly find it difficult to believe what happens in some homes!Imagine the story of the couple you spoke about in this post..too bad.Thanks for the advice to those of us who are single.More Grace dear.

    • Reply
      E'
      December 30, 2013 at 8:00 pm

      My dear
      Thank God ooo

  • Reply
    Ada
    December 30, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    I am a firm believer that we can have the marriage of our dreams…. I am living mine right now…but it takes work and commitment. You should always strive to make your partner happy, better (fatter in your case E’) etc. And always remember that the grass is never greener on the other side….even if it is, the water rate bill is always higher.

    • Reply
      E'
      December 30, 2013 at 2:45 pm

      Adadioranma
      Loooooooool
      Fatter yesoooo. That is what I am doing with all passion…
      Choi
      Water rate indeed.
      Ada brings her flavour to my blog.
      Fab welcome darling.
      Keep enjoying the marriage of your dreams jare

  • Reply
    E'
    December 30, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    Yesooooo darling.
    Just keep storing them.
    Me too the thing taya me no be small.
    Hiss…
    Thank you love

  • Reply
    Bibi
    December 30, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    May God help us all…..lovely wedding gown btw….fab!!!!

    • Reply
      E'
      December 30, 2013 at 4:10 pm

      Amen ooo.
      Thanks darling

  • Reply
    ij sweets
    December 30, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    Hmmm things are really happening ohhh.I didnt bother reading that story of the sliced penis ewwwww.am not good at opening `viewer discretion advised stories „God help us.

    • Reply
      E'
      December 30, 2013 at 5:59 pm

      Things be really happening nne. God will help us. Amen

  • Reply
    imperfectlyperfect
    December 30, 2013 at 5:34 pm

    First of all,congrats! One month of bliss yeah? May it become even sweeter as time goes by in Jesus Name, amen!
    Thanks for the tips to us single ladies, if the Holy Spirit isn’t giving go ahead along with feelings of peace in us then no way. And commonsense comes in to play here too,he dey beat u but u still dey shook head put,wetin u expect to happen? Sometimes,we just gotta chose our happiness and wait for the great one that God can give to us. Life is too short to spend d remainder of ur life unhappy in a marriage,aint no body got time 4that.
    That said,I don’t sigh and hiss at marriages breaking down in less than a year,I am a product of one where at a time,it was quarrels with accompanying fights and neighbours settling them everyday,they are back together now, and no,it wasn’t that they didn’t start out right,sometimes there could just be issues that you can’t imagine that both couples are facing,each to his own,you never can tell what goes on in a home,in a marriage,only they that wear the shoes can tell where it pinches.
    I do sigh at the killing ur wife and cutn ur hussy’s penis thing anyway,its bad,sad…God help us all.

    http://imperfectlyperfect92.wordpress.com

    • Reply
      E'
      December 30, 2013 at 5:59 pm

      Thanks Sweetie.
      Amen!!!
      And yup aint nobody got time for that ish…
      True talk darling… No one really knows how the shoe pinches except those who wear it. But one thing I know for sure is this… THIS IS NOT THE PLAN…
      There are biblical recommendations of how a marriage should be. Everything, Every adjective God said about/used to qualify marriage is GOOD. Including where He says there is ‘work’ in it because there is a GOOD reward after the work. He wants us to totally enjoy it as we pay the sacrifices.
      Anything short of that makes me hiss…sigh and just be sad!!! Jesus didn’t die for this!!! His plan is perfect. Tz we His People that aren’t. And so we should take our blame jare.
      Nne, I am super happy at your parents’ testimony. It is incredible.
      Mega congrats again to them…
      🙂
      E’

  • Reply
    Teggie
    December 30, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    Hmmmm… IT IS WELL!!!

    • Reply
      E'
      December 30, 2013 at 5:52 pm

      AMEN!!!

  • Reply
    imperfectlyperfect
    December 30, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    Read my comment again,flowing from God help us thing, its also more than God helping us,we’ve gotta shine our eye too. Don’t marry out of desperation,chose well and let God guide + be ready to work it out when in the marriage…its a lot of different things so back to the God help us. We should leave marital issues from choosing a spouse et al in the hands of God and follow His leading,otherwise,e go be wahala.
    Thanks again E.

    • Reply
      E'
      December 30, 2013 at 6:15 pm

      Walahi
      God will always play His part so long as we are humble enough to invite Him In. It is left for us to play our part. Otherwise there will be wahala. Plenty wahala

  • Reply
    phebe
    December 30, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    ‘E sowy ehn. there are some pages that before I load I first turn of the picture loading settings. abeg my brain conjures enough pictures from d words I read, can’t even be adding some horrific things.to.it.
    well so much goes on in marriage dat one must just say ; dupe ti e… and while ure thanking him ask him to teach u to be d husband or wife you should be.
    How many Christian men and women obey d injunction of Christ in Ephesians 5?
    How many Christians go for godly counsel when their marriage begins to get strained?
    How many churches still do real counselling before wedding sef?(my friend’s sister’s church spent weeks modifying her very SU gown they forgot to counsel her. true story, now my friend has decided she’ll av a parlour wedding)
    If we Christians are not doing the right things, how is the world supposed to know how to do it right?
    Plenry questions. well me I’ve decide to marry the right person o. my marriage must live out the reasons why God instituted marriage.
    feliz aniversario.

    • Reply
      E'
      December 30, 2013 at 6:47 pm

      Dripping with truth… This comment!!!
      Infact, you can ‘buy’ the counselling sef and the church… Sad. Then the too much focus on the dress is beyond me. Ugh!!!
      I mean, if we can just obey that injunction that commands men to love and women to submit adding a large dose of wisdom to the mix, marriages would be made in heaven indeed.
      Lol at parlour wedding.
      Yes babe, you will marry VERY WELL!!!

  • Reply
    salsera
    December 30, 2013 at 6:51 pm

    76 times….so hard that the blade of the knife was left in her neck.
    Hmm, I’ve had to bear the brunt of a marriage where neighbours friends family home and abroad were involved.Pics shared, disgusting and revolting things shared – taunting texts, fights the works. Things happen.

    Hmmm,
    I’m choosing to jump and pass those ones and look at those who married well.

    E’ – truly you are not qualified in this waiting matter oh, some of us our matter tie wrapper, wear gele plus pointed shoe (and we be Pstr M agemate)

    Pray that the grace you’ve experienced be a cloak over us

    • Reply
      E'
      December 31, 2013 at 10:09 pm

      A huge range AMEN to that!!!
      Nne you will surely testify. I celebrate you and with you already
      See ya 2014

  • Reply
    valerie
    December 30, 2013 at 8:39 pm

    My dear the word for today “marry right,fight for ur marriage”

    • Reply
      E'
      December 31, 2013 at 10:10 pm

      Very well put darling.
      Simple, short and on point

  • Reply
    Mercy
    December 31, 2013 at 11:13 am

    E’ I ┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥A̶̲̥̅♏ a regular reader of ♈̷̴̩☺ΰя blog. I love d̶̲̥̅̊ way U̶̲̥̅̊ talk abt your daddy. I wish I will hav such r/ship ₩ɪ̣̝̇†̥ him. Pls can U̶̲̥̅̊ mentor ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥. I want to grow in d̶̲̥̅̊ coming year and hav a better work ₩ɪ̣̝̇†̥ him. How U̶̲̥̅̊ talk abt him makes ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥ want to be devoted to him. I told PM abt how I desire your friendship but was scared bc I might not be qualified to be among those close to ♈υ̲̣̥. She adviced I comment on any of your post and U̶̲̥̅̊ will take it up from dere. Pls can I learn how to love God through ♈̷̴̩☺ΰя help. Pls help ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥. ┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥A̶̲̥̅♏ waiting for your response. Tnk U̶̲̥̅̊ E’

    • Reply
      E'
      December 31, 2013 at 10:14 pm

      Mercy darling
      First happy new year.
      Thank you for your very kind words. I trust God that he will work a great work in you andsshould He deem it fit to use me as a vessel, I yield myself willingly.
      I hope you dropped the correct email addy? I will mail you early in the new year. If you don’t hear from me by the weekend please holler. Eziaharx@yahoo.com
      Hugs
      E’

  • Reply
    ujesta
    December 31, 2013 at 11:20 am

    Congrats dear..it will always get sweeter..
    marriages get pretty sour oo..I know of a couple that started having it tough on the night of their wedding…weird right??
    The thing is a lot of people especially ladies RUSH into marriage for the wrong reasons and with the wrong people..overlooking all sorts of things with the feeling that he/she will change..there are some ‘bitterleaf’ marriages out there..pretty bitter I tell you…we all need God and a discerning spirit!

    • Reply
      E'
      January 1, 2014 at 4:11 pm

      Lol at bitterleaf
      Thank God tz not our lot oooo

  • Reply
    Booski
    December 31, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    Hiannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
    That’s all.

    • Reply
      E'
      January 1, 2014 at 4:14 pm

      My Booski is speechless.
      That’s something.
      E reach to be speechless gan

  • Reply
    worshipandswag
    December 31, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    It’s really sad chei. But you have nailed it with your analysis. May God help us all and may your marriage be fruitful. Happy New Year!

    • Reply
      E'
      December 31, 2013 at 7:45 pm

      Amen nne. Thanks. Amen again. Happy 2014 to you too

  • Reply
    Kemmiiii
    January 1, 2014 at 1:12 am

    Chineke! I have missed! Happy married life and happy new year. Much love. :*

    • Reply
      E'
      January 1, 2014 at 4:17 pm

      Thanks darling…

  • Reply
    Tomiwa
    January 1, 2014 at 9:15 am

    Preparedness always counts, and it goes a lonnnng way. Godly wisdom is also key. E, already? Wow. Many more years sweetie.

    • Reply
      E'
      January 1, 2014 at 4:18 pm

      Amen. Thanks b

  • Reply
    waterwalker2013
    January 1, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    It is well oh.

    this post brings back memories and also gave me the right counsel and perfect example to give to a friend.

    God is a jealous God so it amazes me…why love and cry over a mere mortal that choses u as his punching bag when u have the love of a God who gave His ALL for you and (remind me of that scripture now) is willing to throw in MUCH MORE….God bless Granpa Rev Femi.

    Biko pple, look well. Marry a person who is submittted to God and has a higher authority that he/she can submit or is accountable to.

    • Reply
      E'
      January 2, 2014 at 9:30 am

      Very well said nne…
      2nd Sam 12:8… Much more indeed oooo
      I just pray ladies keep making the right choices… Amen

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