I would have scheduled it for 3pm today and people would have wondered ‘Is E’ blogging on her wedding day?’
I even had a dream last night of a bride who kept on changing DPs all day. Looooool. SMH.
Was it Dumebi or Tani that said they would seize my phone from me? Naughty girls…
Rolling my eyes.
Oh but here am I, no wedding today.
Aaaarrrgggghhh. Today was perfect. Too perfect. Which is why I ‘fought’ hard to make it work… We, actually. So much so that ‘they’ thought I was pregnant hence the insistence or ‘hurry’ as they said…
Pregnant??? I thought this was funny and insultive at the same time. Maybe I was pregnant. Especially if God had pulled a ‘Virgin Mary’ on me. Well. iSeeRed as I type so… #tossthat#
Hurry??? iLaugh. I’ve known Aku m for 5years now. 5years and 3months. If anything, we have been slow… Maybe ‘they’ would have known him earlier than March if they were not being tribalistic. If they weren’t threatening to disown me and harm him if I DARED to bring a Yoruba boy to ‘them’ seeing that ‘ndi yoruba can NEVER ever be faithful’ Tell me abourrit!!! People who have not accepted Christ and live by His Word can NEVER be faithful. There are no such tribe divides here. Just two tribes… TribeJesus and TribeSatan.
You see these two people, they are active TribeJesus members. Living by the Word. Not Tradition.
I find it interesting though. That I have had to fight every step of the way. From approval to consent and now to wedding. Heck I even fought through pharmacy school failure and saying it wasn’t cos of him. Looool.
But I find it comforting that through it all, Aku m has shown me so much love it is UNREAL… Someone said… ‘Thank God the guy is worth it abeg’ He is…
I don’t have time enough to mention how consent came to have Aku m (and his people) finally meet ‘them’. But it took a lot of prayers… From us, from our friends, my pastors (Rev, major shalla. My dearest darling Daddy). Ah!!! It took many scriptural confessions and Rhema (God, major Twale Sir. The Word became flesh indeed) It took counsellings and listening to messages (doffing my hat for PK’s classic – I love him but my parents say NO…) It took divine timings too, both hearing and acting on them. Victory came.
I didn’t want any ‘village connections’ called Traditional marriage. I thought it was an absolute waste of time and money. I still think so… One wedding is enough. They agreed. But we still had to settle the ‘umunna’.
It was on my birthday night June 29 that all the wahala began… Settle… The list… Aha The LIST.
That was where ‘uka bidoro’. I can’t go into deeets dear Diary but all I can say is that I saw the WORST I had ever seen. I saw ostriches bury their heads in the sand. I saw wimps roll over and play dead. I saw lions threaten the entire jungle to dare to protest. I heard unreasonable demands being made. Shameful might I add. I saw values I thought we stood for thrown out the window. Sacrificed on the altar of tradition. I saw inconsistency with people I had immense respect for. I heard lies. Oh my!!! I got insulted, abused especially emotionally, accused of betraying (or was it not being loyal to) OUR TRADITION… I saw non-chalence. I saw wickedness. I cried!!! Oh how I cried!!! I got shouted at. I got threatened. Did tradition need to be so hard? When did it become sensible to ‘make it hard for them so they would treat you well’
I begged, pleaded, swallowed pride, grovelled. Whosai…
Several calls went back and forth. MTN made a tosh load of money off us this period.
As we met targets, they moved the goal post. With the most ridiculous things.
One Word tho… Selfish.
They called it LOVE… Shove it please. Love aint love till the other person especially an adult feels loved
Ah, dear diary. I can’t explain further.
I loved today for these reasons
1. It favored us… This statement is packed and I can’t explain it. And it favored them too. If they had an open mind.
2. My two Pastors especially that I love were going to be there. Officiating. Ah!!! That’s a dream come true. E no easy to track down those men ooo. Rev especially is itinerant much. But he had jiggled a few ish to be there to officially join his children. Aaaarrrgggghhhh. Chai… Infact, Ibadan was moving to Lagos for this. And this after an all-night ooo. They were yet going to pile into the cars and hit the road WITHOUT sleep for me. Yup I am a special daughter.
3. August was work free for me. My work place miraculously gave it to me. They didn’t even know I was planning a wedding. When I later told them, they felt good for even being ‘in the spirit’ when they gave me August free (with Pay ooo) Honeymoon woulda been spessssh yo!!!
4. It was TIME to leave. Time!!! TIME… I was friggin’ ready. My spirit was. He too was. We were ready. We had plans. We had projects as a married couple. We had prayer points. Ah!!! We covet the blessings of marriage and the attendant favors. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains FAVOR… I also had career plans. Best finetuned in a husband’s house.
I explained all this. And more. I explained till I was BLUE. I was countered(ridiculed some sef) on all counts. For selfish reasons. iLaugh again. I wish I could explain the reasons. You would cringe. I am so sparing you deets.
Then people tried to save face from some shame and guess who they blamed it on…
How can you blame such a drop dead gorg innocent and fab face biko…
All sorts of emotional blackmail. Ewwwww.
My mom calls me ‘Ogbu agu’. Lion killer. I’m tough like that. But by tuesday last week, an event happened. It shattered me. Then I heard God tell me to change. He told Aku m too at the same time. He confirmed it by telling my pastor too. Confirmations. Did it look like I lost the battle. It did. Did I lose the battle? Mba… TeamJesus never loses yo!!!
I still gave it a whole day. To think it through. Be sure. I was sure. In the middle of all this, I had friends and friends parents call to encourage me. Ah… I felt too much love. I cried after some calls. Out of the love I got drenched in.
Aku m, I doff my hat and heart for you. I never had doubts. The things we went through were enough to scatter any relationship. Some people feared it would. There is afterall only so much someone can take. It strengthened ours. I saw him protect me from whoever and whatever.
Ah, my King David. The King after my heart. Lemme go and learn more for our wedding night and honeymoon. 😉
Ah, speaking of sex. Dear diary you know me na… Prude of Life. I had locked my body up… I was NOT even looking forward to the ‘sex-counselling’ looool. PRUDE!!! But as the days drew closer, I released my self some. Read books and articles. Christian of course. Asked questions. Got my mind a bit more comfy. To move from ‘Sex is sin’ to ‘Sex is a good MUST’ Then the date is moved… Chai… No words. No. I am so sparing you deets. Of course, you know I’ll still wait till it is right…
Speaking of moves… It was the move we made that caught them unawares. I’m sure they are wondering, what is this girl up to now??? Looool. Don’t worry, shebi Aug 3 is here and I didn’t elope. Calm down. Stop all the calls and knocks on my door to be sure I am in. Looooool.
It was a wise allbeit painful move. A move that I must admit has changed somethings for ever!!! Hmmm. Again iLaugh.
Who moves a wedding less than two weeks to? As you can imagine, money would have gone down for some stuff. Some of my very special guests had booked tickets to Lag. Gifts had been coming in even before. Dresses had been bought or sewn as the case maybe. Did I mention money? Hmmm. I’m surprised I’m not even broke. Loool. Actually I am not surprised jare. Jehovah bu Eze.
Oh but something surprised me tho…
The kinda care,concern and love that came from people. Frankly, some annoyed me. I almost screamed. My wedding date got moved didn’t mean I was losing my mind… It didn’t mean prayers should be raised because ‘she must be going through a lot now’ (aaaaaarrrrgGhhhh what’s that???) It didn’t mean I should be spoken to with pity (ewwwww) It certainly didn’t mean that every time I didn’t sound cheery when u called, I was in the dumps!!! Mba, I could be at work or asleep. Ha ahn!!! At work, I got ‘funny’ looks… Chei!!! Me!??? The confirmed cheerful pick-anybody-up-with-her-smile chica. It was funny ooo. See, pity doesn’t look good on me… I didn’t even know I was supposed to be ‘out of my mind with grief’. Like it was normal. I’ll be forgiven. Looool. Like most of my close friends said, be easy on them. People love you so they are just bothered. Just that they don’t know you. Ogbu agu that you are. I do feel a tinge of sadness. Naturally. But grace has shielded me. Shielded us. Plus I know God has a better plan. I’m convinced. It did mess my schedule and planning a bit but… Jehovah bu eze uwa niile… Since I decided to move it, I haven’t cried once. All the tears happened before.
Like I did say, this whole ish has changed PLENTY of things around here. Plenty… Oh plenty. It makes me smile sef.
People ask me, so when is the new date, etc? I say ‘I’ll keep you posted’
I’ve never been a fan of big weddings (I’m a fan of huge honeymoons though.). My wedding was small. About 100persons. Max 150. Now, I am a fan of tiny weddings. Maybe 5 people. Lol. I’m kidding. But now though, my plans are even smaller. Hehehe. I apologise in advance.
This is the point where I say my THANK YOUs. First, to my bridesmaids who had invested already and made plans. Who didn’t even make a fuss when I moved it. Their major interest was ‘how are you?’ Chai… Then my guests who had booked tickets. Gosh!!! Thank you for ignoring the money you had spent to ask me if I was fine. For some of you, this is your first time of hearing this cos I didn’t give deets. To my friends who even involved their parents in praying and counselling, chai!!! If love could kill, I woulda been dead. Then to my friends who have shown care and love. Oh my!!! I dunno if I’m as good as you people make me ooo. Once, I put up a crying smiley on bb (I was being dramatic cos the weekend holiday was over) and you need to see the calls and messages. They thought I was really crying. Loooool. Thank you so much. MTN is really making money ooo. Loool. To the ones who had given gifts even before, thank you so much. I didn’t know people give gifts before ooo. I’ll just mention, I’m getting married and wham!!! A gift. Inspite of all, you guys were major reminders that a wedding and marriage is a good and joyful thing. All the wahala almost made me forget.
But really, I am grateful. Love- God’s love and love from you guys has seen me through. Thanks for your prayers, love, care, calls,listening ears (especially when I go on and on) etc. Una plenty. Don’t let me mention names please. Thank you… My God bless you.
So what are my plans???
Haaaaa… Dear diary, allow me to keep that to myself…
I hear you ask ‘…should I be scared?’
Well, a little
Time check: 10.08am
Pity doesn’t look good on me. Don’t try it. I actually am fine. I promise. I even have good plans for today.
The plan for our kids used to be, we will call them by their english names only. The igbo/yoruba names will be confined to their birth certs. Now the plan may be NO native names at all. Only the surname will betray roots. But really, we as a nation really need to kick tribalism. Far!!! I still saw TY’s The future vid yesterday and I recall the big push she gave to the character repping tribalism. Our children shouldn’t even experience such. I truly hope there are no tribalists among young people today. If you are, please just be sure you don’t come near me. I won’t be nice. #Selah#
This is one post that I am not going to edit and edit before I hit PUBLISH
I also didn’t think much about making it right enough, I just typed from my head now and I am posting…
Does it hurt? Not so much anymore especially because I have a Comforter…
Incase you are wondering, the ring used above is mine. In case you’re wondering any other thing, my period came a day late and lasts usually for just less than 48hours.
Whatever you make of this post is your biz… and yup the persons know who they are. This is just me talking with my diary