I wrote this piece on December 08, 2009 and it was first published on FACEBOOK here
For thoe who do not know, this blog was borne from my Facebook notes which I tagged ‘the DIARY of a FABULOUS black sister’. Feel free to skip over to my facebook page and enjoy all i wrote back then. It was good if i say so myself but I definitely write better now and YES I say so myself…
It is a transcript of a message Pastor kingsley Okonkwo preached. I must have listened to it a billion times and I can literally quote him when I am listening now. I am NOT sure where yet but it was the VERY FIRST message I listened to and the first time I had heard of him too. Still smarting from my Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s Call to glory, this was RELATIONSHIP MESSAGE like I love to hear them. That was when my LOVE relationship with PK started and old as the message is, it remains CLASSIC and very relevant today. that is the Word of God for you.
Quick reminder before you start…
This Sunday July 07, Pk will be preaching on DEALING WITH THE PAST.
We all have a past and i daresay that most of us don’t know how to deal with it, especially past hurts and broken hearts. I know PK doesn’t preach opinion, he preaches THE WORD… Come and get a biblical perspective on this subject matter. If we don’t deal with the past properly, it would affect our future. Who wants that? Not me and definitely NOT YOU I hope…
So July 07 is the date at 4.30 PM. Details at the end of this post… Let me not keep this HOT message away from you any longer…
As it appeared on FACEBOOK then… No editing…
Long time huh! Sowwy people! Had to take a Study leave. Good news is I am BACK! So my ‘Welcome back’ promises to be really long. Tz a Message I listen to all the time and I know it would bless u if u took the pains to read it through! I have paraphrased that message and I present it Vintage Eziaha style.
Quick review! The title is unambiguous I hope! Basically it would teach the ladies Qualities a wise man would look out for and it would also teach the wise man what to look out for in a wife!
First, I would like to paraphrase proverbs 31:10 ff. I have combined my 2 fave bible versions NLT new living translation, and TM, The Message! The Virtuous woman!
A Virtuous woman is far worth more than Precious rubies and Diamonds!
Her Husband can trust her without reserve or regret!
She will greatly enrich his life and not hinder him!
She is like a trading ship, she sails to far away places bringing home exotic surprises!
She is up before dawn, prepares breakfast and plans the day for her servant girls!
She inspects a field, buys it with her own money and plants a garden!
An eager hard worker, she is up first thing in the morning, rolls up her sleeves, ready to work!
She watches for good bargains and is skilled in the art of homemaking!
She is kind to Poor and needy strangers!
She is not worried about her family when it snows for all of them have warm clothing!
She makes her own clothing, and dresses in linen and purple silk of the finest clothing.
Her husband is well known and respected as he sits in council meetings with other Civic Leaders!
She is clothed with strength and dignity, facing tomorrow with a smile!
When she gives instructions, they are kind and wise!
He children stand and respect her. Her husband blesses her saying
‘Many women have done wonderful things but you have outclassed them all!’
Charm can mislead, beauty soon fades, but the woman to be admired and praised is the woman that fears the Lord!
Now let’s see those qualities! THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN of Proverbs 31 forms a good foundation.
1. A WOMAN THAT FEARS THE LORD! Fear also means Honours and loves!
This is particularly important. The trick is this, if she keeps obeying you cos she loves you, the day you upset her, she would disobey! She should obey you cos she loves and honours the Lord, and God says to respect her Husband! A woman that already has been obeying God would naturally obey and honour her man! In the case of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife, Joseph said, HOW CAN I DO THIS GREAT WICKEDNESS AND SIN AGAINST GOD! Potiphar was not the issue cos he may not have known, but God would have known! Really, tz not about the man as much as it is about God!
2. A WOMAN WITH A MEEK AND QUIET SPIRIT!
1st Peter 3:3 says that God values such so men should too! In other words, a woman that is teachable! Even if she does not know anything, she can learn and become ANYTHING if she is TEACHABLE! She should have the ability to follow AND SUBMIT! She should be adaptable to different circumstances even if not convenient. God can call a man to do or be anything and he should be able to SELL the vision to his wife. Let me bring in Fela Durotoye and Tara, God keeps giving Fela ‘funny’ instructions, sell your car, empty your bank account, and so on. Imagine if Tara starts antagonizing him cos of these! If you as a man can’t lead a woman, then do not marry!
3. A VIRTUOUS WOMAN!
Priced above rubies, she is RARE AND EXPENSIVE and I don’t mean money!
Try making a business card for the Prov 31 woman, REAL ESTATE, TRADER, MOTHER, WIFE, HOUSEKEEPER, GARDENER, FARMER, COOK, HUMANITARIAN, TAILOR AND MANAGER! That is THE STRENGTH OF A WOMAN! Multi tasking! All her husband did was sit at the gate! Probably a Politician! Does it not say something about how strong a woman can be! As a woman, you can earn your own money! Like my Pastor would say, the price of some women is Mr Biggs and Tantalizers. For me, tz really sad! Some women can follow anyone. This woman was not dependent! I say this in VERY CLEAR TERMS; THE AVERAGE WOMAN IS STRONGER THAN THE AVERAGE MAN! This woman was working class and her home did not suffer! Is that not true of our mothers! They wake early, do all the morning work and wake the kids, dress em for school yet they leave home before or with her husband! The average woman can be cooking, watching Desperate Housewives, breastfeeding, ironing, and talkin on the phone yet NONE would suffer! Tz no use talking to a man while he is watching football cos he would not hear ZILCH! In fact I suspect that calling and driving is prohibited cos of men, cos a woman can do that EFFORTLESSLY! The woman should support her husband that is why she is a HELP MEET for him! Every woman should have a VISION! A purposeful woman is more attractive! That is why all this Aristo and Sugar Daddy thingy beats me. More less the women that shake their bum in musical videos. Tz too much for me to comprehend! No man wants to marry a liability! Though I hear some men like such liabilities where without them the woman can do nothing! The bad news there is that if this woman finds someone who can do more that you are doing (and chances are that she will), she will abandon you. I encourage you to go back at this point and reread the passage I began with and digest it cos it is DEEP!
At this point, I should add that I did not say this to rubbish the men, I COULD NOT DO THAT! This is just to inspire the women to GET UP AND GO! Men have always lived to their max but women have always believed ourselves to be THE WEAKER SEX, in more exaggerated ways than that clause was intended in the Holy Book!
4. A WISE WOMAN!
She would build her house with her hands while a foolish one will tear her house with her own hands! Wisdom is simply knowing what you ought to do and DOING IT! Some women intentionally pluck down their homes! We know that men are big on respect, Feminism cannot change that. It is the way they are wired so RESPECT THEM! A woman can use her female powers to respect a man to do what she wants! That, my Sisters, z wisdom! A man can’t be won in a logical argument. Even if you are right, he just won’t agree. It has name, tz called EGO so let him be and quit arguing especially if the issue is not life threatening! THAT IS WISDOM!
Men also like women that can stimulate and hold intellectual Discussions! Know a little about a lot, beyond clothes and shoes (which most of us, plus me, are walking encyclopaedias of!). If he is a Banker, learn a little of banking terms, the Basics. That way he would take you wherever and be proud to show you off! We all know that men BREATHE football, join him sometimes rather than getting angry which would solve NOTHING! Ask questions; know the different clubs, a few terminologies! It does no harm and someday, you might even get interested! Some men hide their wives cos when she speaks she embarrasses him! A man is always proud of his intelligent woman!
Dress well even after marriage. Men are moved by what they see so do not let them ‘see’ outside. Be neat and keep yourself everly attractive! Smell nice, use deodorants! Make him always wanna come home to you! That is WISDOM!
5. A HOSPITABLE WOMAN!
You all remember the times when you had unexpected Guests at home and there was really no refreshment yet your mom still found a way to entertain them and make them comfortable! That is the kinda woman men love! No man wants to bring his friends or family home and they don’t feel welcome! Know how to do the basic housework like Cooking, cleanin, taking care of the kids, etc. Even when there are 10 house helps! The Virtuous woman had Servants but she still had to instruct and supervise them! What if suddenly they ran away, is it Indomie you would start giving your man! I hear that ‘A HUNGRY MAN IS A …..Prophetic statement!’ Men love food, we all know! Even if u can’t cook, LEARN! Really some men don’t mind all this o, but if you as a man love food, then be sure to marry a woman who can cook! Also be friendly. That was how Rebecca in the Bible got her husband!
6. A WHOLE WOMAN!
Some women carry their past around and it has a way of making them incomplete! A broken relationship, a cheating father, a mother on drugs, a broken childhood, rape, incest, whatever! Learn to keep the past with the past! Move on! There is healing in Jesus name! Joyce Meyer had a broken childhood, her father used to have sex with her, and she grew up with that hurt. Until she dropped it and forgave her father, she made no real progress! Now look what the Lord is doing through her. An UNWHOLE woman cannot love! A hurting person would hurt someone else! Some men in trying to help such women fall in love! Do not marry out of pity; let the person be totally healed first. A good and healthy self esteem is very important!
7. A TRUSTWORTHY WOMAN!
Trust, in a relationship is everything! I hear the statistics of DNA testing where the child belongs to only one of the parent, is reaching an all time high. That is why fornication is frowned at! The same line you cross to fornicate is the same you would cross to commit adultery! All the sexual temptations do not disappear with marriage! A Gracious woman will retain her honour! Not that you would now be monitoring her movement and her phone. I hear some men call their friends in Telecoms and ask for a Print out of all her calls and text records! That is Heart attack inducing! If you can’t trust, don’t marry! Without trust there is nothing! Just imagine if Mary the Mother of Jesus was not a Virgin, it would have been ‘one kind’. How would we really believe that the Power of the Holy Spirit truly came upon her?
Integrity is also very important! Couples ought to know their assets and finances and not keep hiding them from each other! I know of a Couple where the husband and Wife each have built houses in Lagos and both do not know! Also telling the truth is vital! A woman that tells lies does not look good o!
So these are the 7 qualities and of course they are not exhaustive.
I hope someone learnt plenty cos I sure did.
Like I said, all of this has its roots in a message I listened to by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo of David Christian Centre.
Still Yours’ Fabulously,
**********THE END ON FACEBOOK**************
DEALING WITH THE PAST…
Venue; Victory Dome, David’s Christian centre Amuwo Odofin, by Fatgbems bus stop on Oshodi Apapa Expressway just before Mile2 (coming from oshodi that is). 4.30pm
The program features quite a lot usually- Drama, Dance, Comedy, Music, etc… But truly, the koko for me is the Word and my!!! The Word usually rocks!!! Best of all is that we have QnA’s at the end and you can ask anon or open. Amazing. So if you are in Lagos or can be in Lagos, feel free to come. There will be buses to convey people to different parts of Lagos afterwards. Please call 08077714411 08028356363 for deets on your own route.
Also for the many of you asking where you can get the messages, you can get ALL the messages (AND BOOKS too) in church, either soft copies or CDs. You can call the numbers too to place an order or have it delivered.
See you there…
And have a most FABtastic weekend….
You can follow me on Twitter @eziahaa or friend me on FB Eziaha Omoteniola Ajaero. My first account has reached its friend limit so don’t send to that please. Cheers