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Parenting… kini big deal?

Hey people,
One whole week Eziaha, and two days!!!
No posts.
Ife no m n’aka (stuff I have to do) Phew… Anyways this post was really not s’poz to come up next but hey, I’m on my way to work, and listening to Inspiration FM on my brand new android. A lil’ on the android… About a thousand of us were given BRAND NEW ANDROID or BB phones at a Youth and ICT program last friday.

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The program is put together annually by the Jim Ovia foundation.

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I would do a proper and complete post on that.
Oh did I mention it came with a free one year subscription. Yup it did. I’m also blogging from the android. Whoop!!!! #OneBlessedn’Fabchica#
Ok back to the radio show. I’m very interested in kids esp teenagers. I’ve worked with and mentored quite a few especially in university.
Today, I work in an uppity secondary school and I interact with teenagers a lot.

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My personal NYSC project has a whole arm focused on teens. (More on it later too).
The program had a lady from ‘Focus on the family’ and she was sharing her experience.
Had an abortion or so, and again in the middle of another pregnancy, she decides she won’t abort this one. Long story short, she and the dude later got married and today God uses them amazingly especially in the area of family and stuff. I found that inspiring. In Jakes ‘the lady,her lover and her lord’, Jakes mentions how we are healed from our hurt to MINISTER to others who find themselves in similar situation. Such persons are even the best to minister. But what I found more interesting was what happened to her daughter. I mean this lady, as we can imagine, trained her kids in the way of God absolutely. But her teenage daughter came home one day to announce that she is PREGGERS…

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I mean here was momma practically a pastor with a focus on family values, with a teenage preggy daughter. Oh my!!!
Naturally, lady and hubby asked themselves many questions… ‘Where did we go wrong?’ ‘How do we explain this?’ Etc. The lady said something I found very profound, she said ‘Kids have choices. Yes you have done your part as a parent training them in the way of God but sometimes they still make the wrong choices. So parents should not fall into the trap of blaming themselves for wrong choices their kids may make.’ She actually spoke to her daughter and her husband (yup she too later married the guy) and they both agreed that they knew way better than the choices of pre-marital sex which they made. For me, this is a whole message there. I mean I have a very personal connection to this. Sorry can’t share. Basically parents should play their part, and pray too that their kids would really ‘not depart from it when they grow.’ But should they, we should be careful in apportioning blame to the parents. Granted, some parents need intense ‘parenting 101 to 901’ classes on raising godly kids, but some parents really do their best, yet… So how did this story end? Her daughter and hubby are today in ministry… Sharing their story and touching lives as they spread word on positive family  values. Another thing I found interesting was that through that period, the lady stuck with her daughter and said to her ‘we will pull through this together and you will be fine’. Some parents think that is the period to beat hell outta d girl. That doesn’t always work. At that point too, she and her hubby had to share their own story with their kids… The abortion, the pregnancy, their marriage, etc. That for her was the right time to. Which brings me to timings. With kids, there are ‘right times’ ooo. Definitely. Certain kinds of information should NOT be shared at the wrong time. Effect could be disastrous. A man explains it this way… When his kids ask him a question he feels they shouldn’t know about yet, he illustrates by asking such a kid to lift up a really heavy box. When he/she can’t, he says ‘it is the same way this information is too heavy for you now. You can’t handle it just yet’. You know parents can have their issues and for goodness sake, keep it away from ’em kids. Last week,my friend told me about a teen student attempted suicide by overdosing after she saw her dad beat her mom blue black in her presence. Very sad story. Parenting goes beyond having sex and giving birth. Parents need a lot o’ wisdom and counsel. Get wisdom please. And I say this to even intending parents. Like myself.

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A wise (wo)man Stores up knowledge afterall. Again, get and store wisdom on parenting for when you would need it. Have a blessed week ahead. And please visit and share word about my www.iseegreenng.wordpress.com blog. NYSC Fantastic stuff going on there… Tell Corps members you know too.
Toodles,
E’

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    JMAD
    May 6, 2013 at 8:14 am

    Nice piece dear. Just learnt something new “A man explains it this way… When his kids ask him a question he feels they shouldn’t know about yet, he illustrates by asking such a kid to lift up a really heavy box. When he/she can’t, he says ‘it is the same way this information is too heavy for you now. You can’t handle it just yet”.

    • Reply
      Eziaha
      May 6, 2013 at 8:21 am

      Sugar
      This post came up like a nano second ago loool
      Yesooo. I learnt that too.
      Deep stuff.
      Blessed week b
      E’

  • Reply
    valerie
    May 6, 2013 at 8:46 am

    Lovely post as always,really parents can only train their children and then pray! As in serious prayers,especially mothers,cos each day comes with its own temptations.

    • Reply
      Eziaha
      May 6, 2013 at 10:21 am

      Especially moms oooo.
      My heart bleeds when I see some young women today. If only we knew life was way beyond make up and Brazilian hair. If only.
      Oshay love
      E’

  • Reply
    Ezar
    May 6, 2013 at 9:13 am

    :d Lovely post Ezi…me likey :d. I can talk on and on about this subject. There’s parenting advice and then there’s parenting advice. So much of it is silly and undesired and only serves to make us (mothers nd intending mothers) feel inadequate or defensive or bad about ourselves. But sometimes, we really do need it. None of us, not even Mrs. I-have-eight-kids-and-sixteen-grandkids, knows everything. Being a good parent is not about money, age or whatever. It’s about love, respect and knowing what values you want your child to grow up with. For teenagers,If they feel they can talk to you, and you won’t be too strict, you actually have more control over them. I know so many teenagers who are going out or staying over with boyfriends, etc, while their parents are clueless *rollingeyes*. Nd Be prepared for them to need you a lot more than you thought at this stage.  When I was young,listening to parents’ advice wz sort of like watching commercials. You know what’s coming, you’ve heard it all before, it’s a big bore, but you listen anyway. My boss says children are a great comfort in your old age – and they help you reach it faster, too. Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare. It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. So, when you’re at the end of your rope, sometimes the only thing you can do is take a deep breath and remind yourself to have a sense of humor about the seemingly endless trials and tribulations of raising children. Still,you can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. Like all parents, my husband and I will just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy when they start misbehaving (I hope it won’t get to that in Jesus name) nd then I think even very young children need to be informed about dying nd hell. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. But don’t worry-they start to become human around the age of 22. :d Nice work Lady E! We will make a teacher out of u

    • Reply
      Eziaha
      May 6, 2013 at 10:18 am

      This is a blog post on its own ooo. A lesson filled one at that.
      Our generation of parents hmm I pray we get it right sha. I pray… cos eh no comment. Thanks love
      E’

  • Reply
    ify
    May 8, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    Parenting…kini big deal? Grace ni! Nne ehn, its God’s GRACE big time! Im sharing from experience being a mother of two young lovely toddlers.
    Children of any age can stretch your patience and give one gray hair in no time…he he.
    BUT with God on one’s side..the best is yet to come!
    Seriously Fabulous Eziaha, parenting without God’s grace/presence na hot fire be that o. My coz in Houston, shared a post on FB last week of a 5 year old boy who shot and killed his two year old sister.
    Kai, what anguish, i cannot even imagine walahi… and the comments on the post were that the boy’s parents bought him the gun as a birthday present.
    What is this world turning to? Buying and loading a gun for a 5 year old??? As in, are these parents real?? Buying a gun for a minor and then loading it and then leaving it lying around unsupervised. Goodness gracious me!! In fact, ’nuff said.
    Take care dear,
    God’s grace be with you and us all: parents and parents to be..
    ++

    • Reply
      Eziaha
      May 13, 2013 at 10:36 pm

      Ify hunnie only grace ooo
      I’m sure God is helping you with ur cuties.
      Ok is ds gun story real?
      What’s going on here pls?
      Gun? Birthday pressie?
      This world is coming to an end.
      Dear God, please wait lemme have and raise my twin girls and one boy before You come.
      We need to show our light in this dark and darkening world.
      Thank you so much ify
      I always look forward to ur comments.
      Long and interesting. Just like I love em
      Muah. Muah. Muah.
      E’

  • Reply
    Ify
    May 17, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    My darl, congratulations on your Android joor.. Pretty stuff. Forgot to mention it in my first comment.
    Yes o, God is so gracious to me. 2 little Angels and twins on the way, its only God’s grace that has been my strength and my everything + full time job o.. Awesome God, i cannot complain, i’ve been so blessed.
    I smiled graciously, no, scratch that, i laughed wholeheartedly when i saw your request to our good God…. Dont worry, you’d have your twins and handsome baby boy to love and to raise..amen to that o.
    Ehen, that story, my coz says its true o, that it was on the news in the States. God help us…amen o.
    I’ve tried checking out your new NYSC blog; iseegreenng.but it doesnt come up on my BB.
    Will still check it again.
    Much love and God’s grace be with you.
    ++

    • Reply
      Eziaha
      May 17, 2013 at 5:20 pm

      Twins on d way…
      Oh my!!!
      Congrats darling
      Pls keep rocking a fabulous balanced life. That’s the way we roll.
      Thank God for grace o jare
      Tz actually http://www.iseegreenng.wordpress.com
      Made a mistake before
      Pls do
      Thank you so much ify
      Can’t wait to meet u finally
      Muah muah muah
      E’

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