MANners was WOW!!! If you missed it, well some people would say that you are MANner-less hehehe. Considering how much of a nice person I am, I would be FASCINATING enough to give you gist.
I am amazed as to how popular MANners is getting ooo. Then again I am not amazed. Tz Pk and this our God. They know how to run tinz. A friend of mine said she was talking to her momsie about me and so she mentioned MANners seeing as I have been going on and on abourrit. And her momsie, all the way in ASABA said she had heard abourit and told her daughter that she needs the CD. A lot of people outside Lagos too have asked me for the CD. And finally a lot of my blog faithfuls have harassed me to do a post on MANners. In fact as soon as MANners was up, men and women alike begged me to do this blogpost. Yea yea I told you that pastor M would blog about it on her Fascinating blog www.justusgirlsnaija.wordpress.com. But before then, let me do my own. But I don’t have pictures ooo. I’m still angry with my blackberry. TRAITOR much. Pastor M will do pictures I am sure.
Please allow me to skip all the other activities and jump right to the word. Ok lemme just give you small gist. The dance drama by DA ROCK IMAGE was amazing. It was about 24hours in the life of a VERY FASCINATING WOMAN… from sun up to sun down- caring for her husband, being a good home maker, kind to domestic and office staff, diligent career woman, prayerful wife, etc. Twas really nice. The drama too was HILARIOUS. The MC was hilarious, gosh!!! I so laughed. Amazing fresh jokes. Then Timi Dakolo. His voice ooo? Let me attempt to capture it. Imagine a very rich sumptuous cake where every single part of it is edible. Not all those fondant cakes ooo (eww I hate ’em). Nope!!! A layered cake with chocolate, vanilla, cherries, strawberries, nuts, coconut, cream, the COMPLETE WORKS… That’s how rich Timi’s voice is. And edible too. Timi is just blessed. Like PK said, this is the kinda voice one should listen to daily. But he didn’t sing for long sha. Wish he did like one hour jor.
I recall Timi on Idols. When he sang Bolton’s ‘How am I supposed to live without you?’ Oh my!!! I think that was when I fell in love with that voice. The last line that says “…when all that I’ve been living for, is gone’ The way he paused after ‘…living for’, then squatted at the edge of the stage, let one hand fall between his knees, looked at the audience for effect, then looked down and then said “…is gooooooooooone”. I don’t need to tell you how all the ladies screamed……. Ok back to MANners Eziaha SMH…
After Timi, Pk came on stage. The moment I had been waiting for (after Timi Dakolo of course). He started by giving us a foundation as to why we are having this relationship based meeting for ladies only.
I will be speaking in the first and second persons so adjust as needed.
As a lady, your greatest pleasure will come from relationships and so will your greatest pain and so that is why we spend a lot of time talking to the ladies about relationship. Ladies and men are so different. Relationships bring together women that care with men that do not care, NATURALLY. So there is a need for a lot of education especially to the woman.
He started with a question someone had asked him before.
‘Where is the best place to meet a life partner? Because I have tried the church and it didn’t work.’
His answer I can summarize by saying you should first GET A LIFE, and be living that life the right way, the God way and in the process you will get that life partner. You can meet the right man ‘anywhere’; it ain’t restricted to church biko. Of course, you know that my anywhere does not include some funny questionable places ooo which I will not name here. The deal is if you think say na only church, and start going to church exclusively for that, then you will meet someone else just like you who is has also come to church not to build a life but to find a life partner and when una jam and e no work, you will now say you came to church and you didn’t find a good life partner. Also, if you do it that way, there will be a high tendency that you now see marriage as a destination, you have ‘arrived’ meanwhile men see marriage as a take off point. So while you are relaxing, the dude is about to take off.
Don’t look for a place to meet a life partner, just look for and build life itself. And you know that no life can be built without God abi… ehen…
Then he read out another question?
“Pastor, is it ok to kiss in courtship? And then have sex especially when we are sure we are getting married. “(When will I stop hearing this question?)
The ish is that your body is HOLY… Tz set apart. Simple, save it all. Kissing, smooching, whatever. Wait till its legal. As for that sex one, some argue that well we are getting married so no biggie. What if you don’t? I just love the verse that says ‘your body is NOT your own so honor GOD with your body’
Another question, ‘why are all the men that come to ask ladies out interested only in sex…?’ Well, an awful lot of men are interested in sex no doubt but ho sent you to ALL men, you own is to find that ONE man for you jare and leave ALL MEN alone. Don’t have and carry that ‘all men’ mentality.
He also spoke about our dressing. Some ladies dress in such a way that SEX is all the man is limited to think about when he sees you. LADIES, MEN ARE MOVED BY WHAT THEY SEE. Help them please. Fashion today has turned to nakedness.
Away from the questions. Then he now moved to how to be FASCINATING… He defined the word.
Fascinating; Capable of arousing and holding attention.
Not just a beautiful attractive woman ooo, you should be able to HOLD this attention FOREVER. That’s what we mean by fascinating here. There are plenty beautiful women around but HOLDING this attention, that’s the biggie here. When people meet you, they should be enthralled and be very interested in knowing you even more. He used ABIGAIL, wife of Nabal in Ist Samuel 25 as our Model for the FASCINATING WOMAN. Please take your time to read through the story of Nabal and Abigail now or later sha.
He talked of the introduction given to the woman…
Verse 3; She was a woman of good understanding and a beautiful countenance.
They introduced her from the invisible to the visible… what she had within first, her good understanding, before her physical appearance. The NLT bible says she was a SENSIBLE AND BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. The Message translation says she was INTELLIGENT AND GOODLOOKING. Everywhere they put the inward quality before the outward. I love me a good looking FABULOUS lady any day. Ladies, it is very important that what is within you is very FASCINATING beyond the physical ooo. Everywoman is beautiful. The real ish is the amazement she had within. When David met Abigail, she FASCINATED him so much that the minute Nabal died, David sent for her to marry her. It could not have been the beauty alone. David must have seen many beautiful ladies. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Back to Abigail. For the sake of those who don’t know the story between Nabal, Abigail and David, let me summarize it some. In PK’s words, David was like an area boy who used to fight for a fee. He also protected and defended stuff. Nabal was doing something like a feast/harvest for his ‘boys’. Yup David was not directly one of his boys but he had helped protect some of Nabal’s property and stuff. Nabal by the way was super rich. He had cattle and cow and all that stuff that can’t even qualify riches today. So David sent some of his boys to Nabal to settle them as per all his protection and Nabal was harsh to the boys and called them all sortsa names. Of course David was angry. And you know David na, fighter by nature, gragra man; he was ready to finish Nabal and all his household by the next morning. And if I know David, he was joking NOT… Nabal was in big trouble and pepper soup mehn…
At this point, lemme say something that kinda brings it home. In the hostel I stayed in my last two years as a student, we had two caretakers, one was primarily allocated to my hostel and the other was in the hostel next door but he always helped in ours… Light, water, security and stuff. And so naturally whenever I had any celebration or just travelled, I would always send stuff to both of them. Not of compulsion but just cos it was NOT a bad idea. I mean, the other guy could have turned his eyes away from so many bad things, especially as regards security that may have befallen us but he didn’t. So naturally, whenever I could, I ‘preciated him. That’s the sort of thing Nabal should have done easily being that he was filthy rich. But hey Nabal was so foolish they named him FOOL. Ok, so back to the main gist…
You will need more than beauty to be FASCINATING… If it is only about beauty, there are many DROP DEAD gorgeous women. So what qualities did Abigail have that made her worthy of such introduction…?
Verse 17ff; Abigail made haste… She lost no time… ABIGAIL WAS INTELLIGENT. She was able to make HER own decisions. She made it sharp and smart. She had already been told that David was coming to finish them up. She didn’t even waste time going to tell her husband a thing. She knew that going to him at that time was not the smartest. (She went to him later though at the right time. See vs 36, 37). She knew she had to act FAST then if she was gonna avert this. She didn’t depend on only her beauty. She also knew she couldn’t go empty handed. She loaded her asses with all sortsa nice stuff to appease him. Ladies, you need to develop the intelligent side of you. We all have our intelligent part. God made NO mumu. If we develop that intelligent part, then it becomes prominent. If we however develop only the physical part and nothing else, then you would be an empty headed fine girl… ewww. Dou you know such people. Double ewwwwww. That can’t hold any man’s attention. The compliments people pay you cannot only be about your beauty. If that’s all there is to you, then girl, you got WORK to do. Yes I get that some of us are really pretty and get complimented a lot on it. But when they come close, is there anything more to compliment? Naturally eh, men see us as pretty and dumb. I dunno why. But I say this because when they actually see and hear intelligent girls, they are AMAZED… That’s unfair but that’s true. In their minds, they think that women are somewhat inferior in their thinking. Which is why they tend to discuss the more important stuff with fellow men and not women. Aaaaarrrrgh…
Prov 11; 22 says that a woman who is beautiful but lacks common sense/discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout. WORTHLESS AND OF NO VALUE. The Message translation actually says that it is a beautiful face on an empty head. Men need us to be able to make sound judgement. David was tripped by her. In verse 33, he commended the advice that Abigail gave him when she was appealing to him. ‘Thank God for your good sense’ he said. TM says ‘Blessed be your good sense’. How many times have men commended your good advice eh? If it is only beauty, as soon as he leaves you, he will see about ONE BILLION more fine girls. But he won’t get a billion sound advice. That’s your JOKER ladies. Intelligent women are the truly fascinating ones. There are times sadly that the beauty would not count; the Peruvian hair, the LV bag, the hot steamy sex, the make up by Tara, etc. what would count is the sound advice that you can render in addition to ALL that. Or like PK said, “it is what is carrying the Peruvian hair that would count”, that is your brains. Know a bit about what makes your husband happy; his work, politics, sports, etc. stuff beyond the conventional ‘ladies stuff’. A lot of successful men today would always talk about how their women played a significant part in their success story. Proverbs 12; 4 a virtuous/fascinating/intelligent woman is a crown to her husband. Your entrance ought to make his life better not drain his life. Sound advice jor. Beyond the emotional side, the fashionable side, domestic side which are ALL needed, please develop the intelligent side too. Your beauty can get his attention; your beauty CANNOT hold his attention. It is the intelligence that would hold his attention. Please develop it. And it is not even only men jare. Even in life, marriage being a part of life, you need to have an intelligent part to display. (And stop sitting around to be saved and rescued by a man if I may add).
You would be a KNOCK OFF to a man (and other women too) if you can carry on an intelligent convo any day anytime. It is a big ATTRACTION walahi.
Vs. 18b… She had DOMESTIC SKILLS. See all the food and presents she carried when going to see David. Domestic skills will bless any man, whether we agree or not. Yup there are exceptions but there are few and I have not seen any sha. Like PK said which I found hilarious, ‘there is a connection between a man’s stomach and his brains’ Chai… Like ESAU and his birthright story. A hungry man can be desperate. You know women na, when we are hungry we are even tush abourrit and patient. I have seen hungry men ooo. A hungry man is a PROPHETIC STATEMENT (Not sure where I heard this saying in the past). The woman has to have skills to even manage to prepare something even when the funds available are limited. Some basic cooking skills. Beyond ‘Silverbird loading’ and ‘Oniru tinz’, have ‘cooking tinz’ and ‘egusi soup loading’. I am not even saying be a chef or something. Speaking of which, I have an aunt whose hubby sent her to catering school for about a year and then she was resigned to a life of cooking him all sortsa delicacies while being paid for it. I will reserve my comment on this. Men like women with domestic skills ooo. Men are largely not domestic, and so are attracted to a woman who is useful around the house, beyond watching desperate housewives and E! When they see a really fine, tush lady who can still arrange some baaaad egusi soup, and leave the house in order still. Some ladies only know how to eat out and buy ‘eat out’ too but an average man prefers to ‘eat in’. Indomie is cool but it is hardly considered food by MEN. Sadly…
At this point, let me break this into two. Tz getting interestingly long…
See you in a bit…